Total Posts:16|Showing Posts:1-16
Jump to topic:

Should she marry or not?

Altynai
Posts: 2
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?
tmar19652
Posts: 727
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 6:09:44 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

So she is an interpreter in the only big company in Kazakhstan? Who else thought of borat when they saw this?
"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." -Ronald Reagan

"The notion of political correctness declares certain topics, certain ex<x>pressions even certain gestures off-limits. What began as a crusade for civility has soured into a cause of conflict and even censorship." -George H.W. Bush
phantom
Posts: 6,774
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 7:20:37 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

I'll marry her.
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
1Devilsadvocate
Posts: 1,518
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 2:17:20 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

Of course not. She has every right to do what she wants. It would be hard for many westerners to even understand what the question is. As long as one is not doing anything wrong, they should do whatever they want. Her parents do have every right to ask her to help pay the bills or leave.
Personally I think she should move out, as long as it is safe to do so, & start her own life.
Finally, you mentioned that .
"She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several months ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married."
It takes time for people to get over events like being left after such a long relationship, some people take longer than others. I think that if no one pressures her, eventually she will "believe in love" again when she's ready.
If it can be arranged, I think she may benefit from a life coach, social worker, psychologist, therapist, etc. If there is none in the area, perhaps one could be found online, just be careful not to get scammed.
I cannot write in English, because of the treacherous spelling. When I am reading, I only hear it and am unable to remember what the written word looks like."
"Albert Einstein

http://www.twainquotes.com... , http://thewritecorner.wordpress.com... , http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com...
lewis20
Posts: 5,093
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 2:26:10 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 2:17:20 PM, 1Devilsadvocate wrote:
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

Of course not.

No no, you misread, he said that the man IS rich. Of course she should, millions of women around the globe marry every year for money and they live long, happy lives.
"If you are a racist I will attack you with the north"- Abraham Lincoln

"Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material" - Leviticus 19 19

"War is a racket" - Smedley Butler
lewis20
Posts: 5,093
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 2:27:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 6:09:44 AM, tmar19652 wrote:
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

So she is an interpreter in the only big company in Kazakhstan? Who else thought of borat when they saw this?

Exactly what I thought, it has to be a potassium exporting company, right? haha
"If you are a racist I will attack you with the north"- Abraham Lincoln

"Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material" - Leviticus 19 19

"War is a racket" - Smedley Butler
Sola.Gratia
Posts: 278
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 5:27:45 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

I can kind of understand her view because I dealt with the same thing a year ago.. Only I'm not 25 but 20.. I would like to marry, but am in no rush and do not wish to cling to anyone.. at first I was as she is thinking just staying alone and not being concerned about marriage because I was angry and hurt, but once I moved on I was able to accept what happened and don't care if I'm married or not.. But if she does not love this rich man, then she should not marry him because only turmoil and regrets may encounter.. Unless of course something inside of her changes then I would say she need to learn to will to love.. But its kind of her choice anyways.. I'll pray for her.. Must be hard on her.
"What is sin? It is the glory of God not honored. Holiness of God not reverenced. Greatness of God not admired. Power of God not praised. Truth of God not sought. Wisdom of God not esteemed. Beauty of God not treasured. Goodness of God not savored. Faithfulness of God not trusted. Commandments of God not obeyed. Justice of God not respected. Wrath of God not feared. Grace of God not cherished. Presence of God not prized. Person of God not loved. That is sin." ~John Piper
slo1
Posts: 4,361
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/25/2013 10:46:31 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/25/2013 6:01:33 AM, Altynai wrote:
My sister is 25 years old. She is an interpreter in one big company in Kazakhstan. She has 3 sisters and brother. All of them are married and she should keep her parents and pay for everything in their house: food, electrcity, taxes and so on. She had relationships with one boy for 2 years but several monthes ago he left her and now she does not believe in love. Also she is ashamed that she is not married. recently she met one man who is 29 years old. he is rich and good man, but she does not love him. he wants marry her. She does not love him, but on the other hand she is 25 years old and she is tired to do everything foe someone else, she wants to live for herself. Please give me a piece of advice. Should she marry or not?

If the sole reason is to get away from family obligation and have someone take care of her, then no. A big no. What is a typical duration of courting in Kazakhstan?
Altynai
Posts: 2
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/26/2013 4:29:51 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I did not say that it is only one succesful company in Kazakhstan, the problem is that she is afraid that if she refuses, nobody will marry her. So, she does not jnow what to do. She does not love him. On the other hand, he is 29 years lod, and he wants to have a family too. Nobody said that he really loves her. May he thinks of his future too.
Lordknukle
Posts: 12,788
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/26/2013 5:16:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
1. Marry
2. Divorce
3. ?????
4. Profit
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/26/2013 5:52:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/26/2013 4:29:51 AM, Altynai wrote:
I did not say that it is only one succesful company in Kazakhstan, the problem is that she is afraid that if she refuses, nobody will marry her.

Why?

So, she does not jnow what to do. She does not love him. On the other hand, he is 29 years lod, and he wants to have a family too. Nobody said that he really loves her. May he thinks of his future too.

A lot of arranged marriages based on pragmatism have high rates of happiness... But I think she should wait. There are plenty of people in the world. If she marries for money, she might cheat herself out of something better.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/27/2013 4:07:52 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
We can't decide that for her. Marriage is a state of mind. If she believes she can grow to love him, she should marry him. If she doesn't, screw customs. If she goes into a marriage with the most ideal man on Earth with a regressive attitude, it won't work. It all depends on her.

Just, 25 isn't too old. She still has time, there shouldn't be any pressure. But then, at the end of the day, it has to be her decision.
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,324
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/27/2013 4:14:55 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/27/2013 4:07:52 PM, Cermank wrote:
We can't decide that for her. Marriage is a state of mind. If she believes she can grow to love him, she should marry him. If she doesn't, screw customs. If she goes into a marriage with the most ideal man on Earth with a regressive attitude, it won't work. It all depends on her.

Just, 25 isn't too old. She still has time, there shouldn't be any pressure. But then, at the end of the day, it has to be her decision.

We have no idea what the local customs are there, which could make it unlikely for her to wed at a later age. I think what Ory said about arranged marriages deserves a second look though.
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/27/2013 4:28:00 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/27/2013 4:14:55 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
At 3/27/2013 4:07:52 PM, Cermank wrote:
We can't decide that for her. Marriage is a state of mind. If she believes she can grow to love him, she should marry him. If she doesn't, screw customs. If she goes into a marriage with the most ideal man on Earth with a regressive attitude, it won't work. It all depends on her.

Just, 25 isn't too old. She still has time, there shouldn't be any pressure. But then, at the end of the day, it has to be her decision.

We have no idea what the local customs are there, which could make it unlikely for her to wed at a later age. I think what Ory said about arranged marriages deserves a second look though.

I know, I added that at the end because I couldn't help it. Pressuring her won't yield any result because its just going to reinforce the regressive attitude, considering marriage is one of the biggest decisions of ones life. She knows her reality, and undue societal pressure, if it forces her to do something she doesn't really want to, would lead to a bad choice.

Even arranged marriages are based on the premise that you are going to love him, eventually.