Total Posts:13|Showing Posts:1-13
Jump to topic:

Describe your friends.

Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 6:48:03 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Today I sat down and thought (yes, very hazardous) about human bonds with complete and utter strangers. What makes it possible? Why is it easy for most? I was thinking about the type of friends I have, the utter variety of them, why do I associate myself with these people? I think its because no one likes being lonely. I guess there is something in us that reacts negatively to being alone. Sounds logical. But what makes a good friend? Ever thought that?

On a separate note, I have a rather personal anecdote to share, in fact, this happened just a few hours ago. I was sitting eating dinner with the rest of the family, and suddenly I felt really hot across the face and scalp and like someone was slowing inserting red hot needles all over me. I tried to ignore it for half a minute before the pain started to get unbearable. So I got up and left and went to the bathroom, took a look in the mirror, and the skin on my face and neck was reddening in itchy patches. Same thing happening on my back and chest. Since the pain was increasing to excruciating levels, I went back and told my parents I had just had an allergic reaction to the dessert which funnily enough, I had made. Typical Dad, didn't notice, but ah, mothers. She took one look at me, and said: "Benjamin, I don't like the shirt your wearing, get a different one."

That's gotta be the suckiest moment I'll remember for a while. (nothing wrong with the shirt, it was plain, and I didn't tear it removing it or putting it back on) but I found out for the first time that I might have anaphylaxis. Scary thought hmm? Not gonna make brownies again...

But anyways, that's just my experience with my apathetic parents, what are your thoughts on human relationships? What would you label your friends if you had to describe them?
Music composition contest: http://www.debate.org...
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 12:25:33 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I think the only things I really need to be friends with someone is to be able to have fun with them, and actually be able to hold a conversation(a good one) with them. I have a couple friends that after years of knowing them are more like family then friends. And from what I've seen that seems to be the case with alot of people.

You are right in that we instinctually/primally need social interaction. We are after all a social species.

I read this awhile back and I thought it was a pretty good quote, its from Groucho Marx I think,

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 12:51:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Just thought I would mention that not everyone yearns for social contact. Personally, while I can have fun with other people, most of the time I would rather be alone.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 12:52:39 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Oh, one exception is drinking. I always make time to drink, and always with other people.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 1:17:23 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
"Describe your friends." They all have similar intrests and moral values that I have. Pretty surprising huh.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 3:42:03 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'll make friends with anyone.

So most of my friends are Christian and pretty boring.

But I love em'.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 4:11:56 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'm at one of those in-between stages where all my old friends went to different universities and so now I have to make new friends, which isn't as easy at university because everyone has different schedules and i'm an off-campus student (way off).

Although, I think I speak for most people on DDO when I say the reason I'm on here in the first place is because most of the people I know IRL are mind-numbing-ly boring. Coming on DDO probably exacerbates that problem, as having a constant open dialogue with people who understand the nature of argumentation makes what most people say IRL look... uncompelling by comparison.

Or maybe I just hang out with too many gossips.

So, for the most part I guess you can say my friends are boring. Not you guys though, you guys are cool =)
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 5:08:57 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/12/2013 4:11:56 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
as having a constant open dialogue with people who understand the nature of argumentation makes what most people say IRL look... uncompelling by comparison.


This is so true.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 5:15:09 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/12/2013 5:08:57 PM, muzebreak wrote:
At 4/12/2013 4:11:56 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
as having a constant open dialogue with people who understand the nature of argumentation makes what most people say IRL look... uncompelling by comparison.


This is so true.

Dam straight it is
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Skepsikyma
Posts: 8,280
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 5:17:40 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/12/2013 5:08:57 PM, muzebreak wrote:
At 4/12/2013 4:11:56 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
as having a constant open dialogue with people who understand the nature of argumentation makes what most people say IRL look... uncompelling by comparison.


This is so true.

Yeah, this is why DDO is hopelessly addictive.
"The Collectivist experiment is thoroughly suited (in appearance at least) to the Capitalist society which it proposes to replace. It works with the existing machinery of Capitalism, talks and thinks in the existing terms of Capitalism, appeals to just those appetites which Capitalism has aroused, and ridicules as fantastic and unheard-of just those things in society the memory of which Capitalism has killed among men wherever the blight of it has spread."
- Hilaire Belloc -
Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/12/2013 5:23:38 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/12/2013 5:15:09 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 4/12/2013 5:08:57 PM, muzebreak wrote:
At 4/12/2013 4:11:56 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
as having a constant open dialogue with people who understand the nature of argumentation makes what most people say IRL look... uncompelling by comparison.


This is so true.

Dam straight it is

Looking at you older people, in a few years time I will be in your shoes, atm at school friendship groups are the thing of safety, I guess that will all be lost later on and I will have to move on hmm? Interesting then, you use DDO to help resolve this dilemma.
Music composition contest: http://www.debate.org...
Sui_Generis
Posts: 493
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/18/2013 7:06:14 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I just typed out a long story of self... read it... then went "woah, that was unnecessarily personal." Hahaha. So, instead: the people to whom I feel closest, or with whom I feel the greatest potential for closeness, are invariably intelligent--though the defining characteristic is sharing my........cognitive style (?) , more than ability. Both interesting and uninteresting people in my life have been both more and less intelligent than myself....... however there is some certain, inexpressible quality I have been seeking to delineate the past few months to explain why I feel like some people can just instinctively GET me and understand what I mean, while others will just nod and continue on as if they understand, when it is evident to me that there is a disconnect.

Beyond that, my best friends are Christian, mature (as a college student may be) and of similar humor.
"Mundus vult decipi--the world wants to be deceived. The truth is too complex and frightening; the taste for the truth is an acquired taste that few acquire."
-Martin Buber, I and Thou
YYW
Posts: 36,287
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/18/2013 4:15:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/12/2013 6:48:03 AM, Smithereens wrote:
Today I sat down and thought (yes, very hazardous) about human bonds with complete and utter strangers. What makes it possible? Why is it easy for most? I was thinking about the type of friends I have, the utter variety of them, why do I associate myself with these people? I think its because no one likes being lonely. I guess there is something in us that reacts negatively to being alone. Sounds logical. But what makes a good friend? Ever thought that?

But anyways, that's just my experience with my apathetic parents, what are your thoughts on human relationships? What would you label your friends if you had to describe them?

I'll leave the parent's discussion off the table, but of friends I can say this:

I have two kinds of friends, the kind I choose to be around (these are the people I'd go out drinking with) and the kind I am around because circumstance necessitates (these are the people I'd avoid being too drunk around). I include the second category only because there is something more than acquaintanceship going on, but something less than free association. I think in every case though, association is where -at least my- friendships have begun. I have a pretty wide circle of acquaintances of the second kind, but really only about five of the former.

As I get to know people, the more I like them, the more I trust them, and the more I think they are generally good people whom I enjoy being around, the more likely they are to make the jump from the "friends who are thrust upon me" to "friends I choose to be around" category. The reason I draw the distinction between "friends who are thrust upon me" and people who I'd only consider acquaintances are because I'm indifferent to acquaintances -in general terms- but there is a certain endearment that develops from repeated association. Also, I'm far less likely to actively avoid those friends who I am around by circumstance than I am acquaintances -which is not to say that I'm suggesting that acquaintances are to be avoided, but only that I don't especially like running into people I work with who I'm indifferent to because of how awkward it tends to be.

The friends I have that I would choose to be around outside of the circumstance which facilitated our association (the people who I'd be comfortable being drunk around), I keep in close touch with via facebook, texting, emails, shared lolcat memes, etc. but the friends who haven't quite reached that threshold -or who I keep from reaching that threshold- I tend to ignore, even when they reach out. I know it's a cold thing to do, but it's consequentially more convenient for everyone when people are honest about how they feel. Feelings may be hurt, but offending someone is better than pretending to like them -in my view- as a general rule, if there is a point at which association will end. (Like group trips, projects, research collaborations, etc.) To an extent, that probably makes me a horrible and insensitive person -and I can accept that. I'll avoid offending someone, though, if I think I'll have to work with them in the future. Granted, I never go out of my way to get someone to like me if I don't actually think well of them -but I won't actively be a d!ck either.

Time, trust, respect and "liking" are really the only prerequisites for being a good friend of mine. I want to know someone, I want to trust them and for them to trust me, I want mutual respect and I want to like the person. If all of those conditions are the case, then that's sufficient for being a a good friend of mine.
Tsar of DDO