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Help!!! I need out.

Jordan56
Posts: 1,987
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5/4/2013 10:25:53 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
So based on this forum I posted earlier: http://www.debate.org... i finally manage to ask her out. However, she never gave me a precise yes or no if I could be her girlfriend. She instead told me that I should ask her father for permission, which I did and he approved of me. Now, we are sort of really close. Everyone sees us as dating, though we are not. Her parents and all her friends like me. In her eyes I could be her future husband. She is just waiting for me to ask her out again so she can say yes. It has been a week since I first asked and I found these issues which started to turn me off.

She is 1. Childish 2. Sheltered 3. Boring

First and foremost I feel like she incorporated me into her family way too fast. I can't deal with all that when we only been really close for about a week. She complains about everything. My main issue is that she won't tell me anything. Whenever I start to ask more serious questions about her life to get to know her, she shies away and I have to go back to asking questions like favorite color/sport/etc. Next issue is the more I hang around her, the more she seems like a child to me. Our last date was to the movies and it almost felt like I was babysitting a twelve year old. She also doesn't have any goals or ambitions. This is why she is boring to me. She doesn't want to do anything fun. Her ideas of fun is sitting in my car with the radio on till 3 in the morning. It gets really boring after the 5th time.

The list can go on as to why I don't like her and I can go in on each point, but the point is, I want my single life back.

Anyways, today we went on a date which we planned a while back. It was supposed to be the day I ask her again to be my girlfriend. However, the whole night she was upset because her roommate of three years didn't say a good enough goodbye. So she was just a downer the whole night. When it was time to go, I explained in the nicest way possible how I felt about the way she was acting about her roommate and she called me childish. This made me upset and the drive back I decided not to talk to her, which she noticed. Of course, since she still likes me, she complained about me to her mom when I dropped her off. Her mom, in turn, called me to tell us to talk and try to make up. So now Im here kind of lost as to what I should do. I'm going to meet with her tomorrow for breakfast. What should I say? Sorry about the long rambling, trying to get my point across.

Its hard for me because she is one of my closest friends and is within my group of friends so losing her can do a lot to me. I am also storing my stuff at her house for the summer so I kind of want to be in the good with her till next August but I don't think I can survive her childish ways.

I'll take any advice.
drafterman
Posts: 18,870
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5/4/2013 10:34:32 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'm going to be honest here (not that I'm dishonest anywhere else outside of a Mafia game).

In reading your initial post, I thought you were a teenager. It reads like high school stuff. Asking her to be her girlfriend? Asking her dad to be her girlfriend? Talking about marriage after the first date? I can see all that being normal for an overly dramatic 16 year old girl, which, I hope she isn't given your profile age of 20.

It's blindingly clear that you need to break up with her. You are miserable and you are just going to continue to find things wrong with her as you really aren't into this relationship.

You need to find a new place to store your stuff, and break up with her. It isn't going to be easy and if your depiction is accurate she will probably make a big scene about it and her parents will probably guilt trip you. The whole thing will be designed to break you down but it is a necessary evil if you want out.