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Scholarship letter

suttichart.denpruektham
Posts: 1,115
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6/8/2013 6:37:38 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I have been offered a place to study in some UK universities (a lot of them in fact), they've asked me to write scholarship letter With Different Content than what I've already included in the statement of purposes.

Problem is, I don't know any more what I should write for this business program. I think I've included everything in my SoP already, can some body look at it and give me some advise in what else I should write?

SoP

Dear Sir or Madam

Thank you for considering my application for marketing post-graduate course at your campus. My name is Suttichart Denpruektham, I would like to study a master degree in marketing-related discipline in order to further develop my business contact and seeking career in a larger company with strong and professional record in marketing sector. My family and I have a business of our own so it is natural that my ultimate goal is to return to develop its potential. However as my company has always been small and our operation is only limited to regional at best, I believe that working experience in larger corporation is required to adequately expand my connection and gain necessary experience. As one of the major business hub of the world, I am hoping that my study in England would enhanced my qualification for marketing position at home and abroad should an opportunity arisen.

I am currently working as business developer and editorial assistant at JE Telecommedia which is my privately owned publication firm. I am also working as freelance business developer and project manager for companies in special construction material and advertising sector in Thailand. Previously I had been working as marketing officer at Flaminco Cement Thailand, an Indian-base cement manufacturer which had recently open its branch in Thailand to market its special product. The company composed of a couple of people who come and gone as its structure is not yet stable at the time. As you can expect from staff who work in a micro organization, I had been required to work independently and in broad area of expertise which is not always limited to marketing related assignment. My responsibility is including the strategic planning of our marketing strategy (and direct selling of our product), project coordination, and project management. For example aside from common marketing assignment (trend prediction, sale material modification, negotiation), I also responsible for the brokering of applicator and sometime even the worker themselves to be committed to the project (a common practice in special cement business is we supply our product as well as apply it solve whatever issue the customer requested). Commanding people at this level can be quite a challenge, especially since I don"t have any engineering background or experience, I need to use a combination of my product knowledge and use some psychological tactic to keep them in line. The time in this company provide me with a network of client which I use in my career as freelance business developer.
I study Business English in my bachelor degree in Assumption University which is a famous business college in Thailand. It is essentially a business communication course with a lot of business subject module. The course itself is very business focus and also offers a choice of further study a business core course as a minor subject (which I did take), I found it more attractive than conventional business course since it offer me not only the same level of business knowledge but also interpersonal and communication skill which I found to be very essential in business. My university is also multinational and its lectures are made entirely in English. This grant me relatively good English communication skill, as well as multicultural environment which proven to be useful in international business.

I enjoy studying and working in multicultural environment. I spend most of my free time reading a foreign language article and study history, culture (food for most of the time), their society. When I was a child I often accompany my mother to her business trip in foreign country, as a result I have an opportunity to meet and work with people from all over the world. While many found cultural differences to be frustrating, I enjoy bringing a unique advantage of both while at the minimizing weakness of all. I also enjoy business, and love to bring new business idea from a place nobody ever touches before.

I am hoping that with my working experience and academic background, I would be able to further my study at your college.
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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6/8/2013 6:56:22 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'm going to ignore spelling and grammar right now and make a few suggestions about the content.

This essay is just a list of your accomplishments, or in other words, all stuff that is on your college resume. It doesn't give the school any insight into who you really are. I would recommend rewriting the essay, and taking a more focused approach. Maybe talk about JE Tele specifically, delve into your role in the company, your thought process in how you go about performing your role, why you really think you work there (are you afraid to branch out? Do you enjoy the everyday challenges? Do you have a deep philosophical respect for your parents, and want to help them in every way?) and why you want to go back and expand the business. Your essay is not bad, it just doesn't seem to have any of your own voice in it, and it doesn't show who you are and how you think.
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suttichart.denpruektham
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6/8/2013 7:27:48 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/8/2013 6:56:22 AM, ClassicRobert wrote:
I'm going to ignore spelling and grammar right now and make a few suggestions about the content.

This essay is just a list of your accomplishments, or in other words, all stuff that is on your college resume. It doesn't give the school any insight into who you really are. I would recommend rewriting the essay, and taking a more focused approach. Maybe talk about JE Tele specifically, delve into your role in the company, your thought process in how you go about performing your role, why you really think you work there (are you afraid to branch out? Do you enjoy the everyday challenges? Do you have a deep philosophical respect for your parents, and want to help them in every way?) and why you want to go back and expand the business. Your essay is not bad, it just doesn't seem to have any of your own voice in it, and it doesn't show who you are and how you think.

Appreciate. I tend to avoid discuss my personal feeling on most of my work or academic letter, I think it made me look unprofessional but you think that is something they expected?
ClassicRobert
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6/8/2013 7:42:06 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/8/2013 7:27:48 AM, suttichart.denpruektham wrote:
At 6/8/2013 6:56:22 AM, ClassicRobert wrote:
I'm going to ignore spelling and grammar right now and make a few suggestions about the content.

This essay is just a list of your accomplishments, or in other words, all stuff that is on your college resume. It doesn't give the school any insight into who you really are. I would recommend rewriting the essay, and taking a more focused approach. Maybe talk about JE Tele specifically, delve into your role in the company, your thought process in how you go about performing your role, why you really think you work there (are you afraid to branch out? Do you enjoy the everyday challenges? Do you have a deep philosophical respect for your parents, and want to help them in every way?) and why you want to go back and expand the business. Your essay is not bad, it just doesn't seem to have any of your own voice in it, and it doesn't show who you are and how you think.

Appreciate. I tend to avoid discuss my personal feeling on most of my work or academic letter, I think it made me look unprofessional but you think that is something they expected?

I think that in general, they want to see who you are. They've already seen the professional side. Really, just about all of the content in this essay should have already been in the resume. They don't need to read a second resume in essay form. With the essay, they want to know who you are.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

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AlbinoBunny
Posts: 3,781
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6/10/2013 11:17:27 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/10/2013 10:12:27 AM, suttichart.denpruektham wrote:
At 6/8/2013 4:48:49 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Which ones?

There is only one..

"I have been offered a place to study in some UK universities (a lot of them in fact), they've asked me to write scholarship letter With Different Content than what I've already included in the statement of purposes."
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Wnope
Posts: 6,924
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6/10/2013 12:11:58 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
A good way to think about admissions boards is this: They want people who will make them famous or rich. That means they're looking for specific passion and knowledge.

You wrote that you privately own your own company. That, in my mind, is the most important achievement you can emphasize. Everyone can say "I want to learn to grow a company" but very few can say "I started a company that..."

Show the board you are ALREADY running a good company. Don't just say "I want to make it better" or "I want to learn." Everyone wants that. Very few can claim to be holding their own in the market as it stands.

Instead of mentioning it off-hand, I suggest making your business, how/why you started it, the centerpiece of your letter. The resume bits are useful but not as informative as you think.
Wnope
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6/10/2013 12:14:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Oh, and if you're fluent in multiple languages, I suggest mentioning it in the context of how you will be able to do business across borders. You say you like reading foreign literature, but you don't need fluency for that. A thirst for knowledge is good, but it should be related to business.
suttichart.denpruektham
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6/11/2013 6:26:41 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/10/2013 11:17:27 AM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 6/10/2013 10:12:27 AM, suttichart.denpruektham wrote:
At 6/8/2013 4:48:49 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Which ones?

There is only one..

"I have been offered a place to study in some UK universities (a lot of them in fact), they've asked me to write scholarship letter With Different Content than what I've already included in the statement of purposes."

Oh I see, that's what you mean.

The following is the list of university that offer me an unconditional offer to study at their place

Brunel University
Aberdeen University
Sterling University
Glasgow University
Hariot-Watt University

should be it.
suttichart.denpruektham
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6/11/2013 6:31:42 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/10/2013 12:14:19 PM, Wnope wrote:
Oh, and if you're fluent in multiple languages, I suggest mentioning it in the context of how you will be able to do business across borders. You say you like reading foreign literature, but you don't need fluency for that. A thirst for knowledge is good, but it should be related to business.

Thanks for the advise, problem is I am only fluent in English, and Thai (naturally). Plus, business is not doing well in this few years, I means we are making steady revenue every years but expansion has been more and more difficult, plus our market is literally aging (as in our customer getting extremely old, I started to wonder if they would survive another five years).

Also I just can't think of any thing that they would like to know, what about you? If you are to ask me something about my business, what would you like to ask?
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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6/11/2013 7:06:42 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/11/2013 6:31:42 AM, suttichart.denpruektham wrote:
At 6/10/2013 12:14:19 PM, Wnope wrote:
Oh, and if you're fluent in multiple languages, I suggest mentioning it in the context of how you will be able to do business across borders. You say you like reading foreign literature, but you don't need fluency for that. A thirst for knowledge is good, but it should be related to business.

Thanks for the advise, problem is I am only fluent in English, and Thai (naturally). Plus, business is not doing well in this few years, I means we are making steady revenue every years but expansion has been more and more difficult, plus our market is literally aging (as in our customer getting extremely old, I started to wonder if they would survive another five years).

Also I just can't think of any thing that they would like to know, what about you? If you are to ask me something about my business, what would you like to ask?

They don't care about the business so much as they care about what you do with the business, and your thoughts on the matter, how you go about running it, etc.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
Wnope
Posts: 6,924
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6/11/2013 4:21:22 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/11/2013 6:31:42 AM, suttichart.denpruektham wrote:
At 6/10/2013 12:14:19 PM, Wnope wrote:
Oh, and if you're fluent in multiple languages, I suggest mentioning it in the context of how you will be able to do business across borders. You say you like reading foreign literature, but you don't need fluency for that. A thirst for knowledge is good, but it should be related to business.

Thanks for the advise, problem is I am only fluent in English, and Thai (naturally). Plus, business is not doing well in this few years, I means we are making steady revenue every years but expansion has been more and more difficult, plus our market is literally aging (as in our customer getting extremely old, I started to wonder if they would survive another five years).

Also I just can't think of any thing that they would like to know, what about you? If you are to ask me something about my business, what would you like to ask?

I'd want to know how you respond to exogenous shocks and how you creatively manage problems. If your market is aging, say how you're trying to counter it. If the economy is the problem, give the sense that you understand what a rising economy would do to your firm.

If you entered the market at a time that was good, but due to time the market has moved on, talk about how you might transform the company if you had access to more capital or investors.

Basically, they've got a list of accomplishments. They want to know what kind of person you are.