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That Moment You're Too Drunk to_______

ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/15/2013 7:28:33 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
hit on someone.
talk correctly.
jack off.
to buy more booze.

When have you been too drunk to do something?

Share here.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
Noumena
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6/15/2013 7:35:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
...care if the person yet hitting on is with someone.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Noumena
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6/15/2013 7:35:53 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/15/2013 7:35:17 PM, Noumena wrote:
...care if the person yer hitting on is with someone.

Fix'd. Habitual vice.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
YYW
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6/15/2013 11:03:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/15/2013 7:28:33 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
hit on someone.

Been there.

talk correctly.

Done that.

jack off.

Like... half the point of drinking is to find someone to hook up with.

to buy more booze.

I have been told "No!" in a liquor store because I was intoxicated...

When have you been too drunk to do something?

Share here.

Too drunk to drive... lol obviously (like, weekly)
Too drunk to walk home (last night)
Too drunk to hook up (always a disappointment, but about five weeks ago)
Too drunk to light the correct end of the cigarette (When I was 19, I don't remember the story -but I made a fool of myself)
Too drunk to remember last night (always a bad feeling)
Too drunk to remember to close your tab (month ago... left the credit card at a bar... massive bar tab... disputed it, won)
Too drunk to know that I should stop drinking (like... lol... more often than I am willing to admit)
Too drunk to realize that the person I'm hitting on is really unattractive (last night)
Too drunk to realize that I probably shouldn't make a midnight omelet snack (several years ago... very bad situation)
Too drunk to realize that the entire restaurant is staring at me when I did something hilariously stupid (funny story behind that, but not for DDO)

That's all I've got for now... but my drinking stories are numerous. I remember some of them, most of them have been relayed to me the following day.
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YYW
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6/16/2013 12:29:33 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 12:15:17 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
I have recently purchased my first legal alcoholic beverage. I anticipate a jarring Sunday.

Happy Birthday, man!
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lannan13
Posts: 23,297
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6/16/2013 3:03:31 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I haven't drunk a drop yet... sad...
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Buddamoose
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6/16/2013 3:06:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
That moment you're too drunk to remember where your pants are

That moment you're too drunk to remember your address

That moment you're too drunk to remember your name
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 3:08:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:06:28 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment you're too drunk to remember where your pants are

That moment you're too drunk to remember your address

That moment you're too drunk to remember your name

Okay that last one is bad.

I lost my glasses one time when I was drunk because I couldn't remember that I put them where I always put them.

That moment when you're too drunk to remember where you are.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
AlbinoBunny
Posts: 3,781
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6/16/2013 3:08:35 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
The moment when I'm too drunk to handstand without it being either a feeble attempt or going over my head onto my back.
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ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 3:10:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:08:35 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
The moment when I'm too drunk to handstand without it being either a feeble attempt or going over my head onto my back.

If you can even get something that looks like a handstand you are not nearly drunk enough.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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6/16/2013 3:13:13 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
That moment when you're still too drunk to remember her name in the morning XD
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 3:14:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:13:13 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment when you're still too drunk to remember her name in the morning XD

That moment when you're too drunk to drive... late in the morning the next day.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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6/16/2013 3:17:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:14:42 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:13 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment when you're still too drunk to remember her name in the morning XD

That moment when you're too drunk to drive... late in the morning the next day.

That moment when you're too drunk to realize you're drinking vodka and not water
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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6/16/2013 3:18:05 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes

Running out of beer (or whatever kind of alky yer drinking) is the only thing worse.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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6/16/2013 3:19:03 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:18:05 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes

Running out of beer (or whatever kind of alky yer drinking) is the only thing worse.

Pretty much, beer and smokes, the essentials
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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6/16/2013 3:20:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:19:03 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:18:05 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes

Running out of beer (or whatever kind of alky yer drinking) is the only thing worse.

Pretty much, beer and smokes, the essentials

And a good place to situate yerself. I don't do that walking around sh't when I'm drunk. Unless there are games. Then Ima kick yer arse.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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6/16/2013 3:22:33 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:20:50 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:19:03 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:18:05 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes

Running out of beer (or whatever kind of alky yer drinking) is the only thing worse.

Pretty much, beer and smokes, the essentials

And a good place to situate yerself. I don't do that walking around sh't when I'm drunk. Unless there are games. Then Ima kick yer arse.

If its quarters or beer pong, no, you won't
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 3:27:09 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:17:55 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:14:42 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:13 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment when you're still too drunk to remember her name in the morning XD

That moment when you're too drunk to drive... late in the morning the next day.

That moment when you're too drunk to realize you're drinking vodka and not water

I've done that. My friend was like "What are you drinking?" and I was like "Coke, why?" and then they said "Bro, this is straight rum, there's no Coke in here."
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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6/16/2013 3:28:19 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:22:33 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:20:50 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:19:03 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:18:05 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes

Running out of beer (or whatever kind of alky yer drinking) is the only thing worse.

Pretty much, beer and smokes, the essentials

And a good place to situate yerself. I don't do that walking around sh't when I'm drunk. Unless there are games. Then Ima kick yer arse.

If its quarters or beer pong, no, you won't

Depends on my partner with pong. With quarters I'll probably concede to ya.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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6/16/2013 3:30:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:27:09 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:17:55 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:14:42 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:13 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment when you're still too drunk to remember her name in the morning XD

That moment when you're too drunk to drive... late in the morning the next day.

That moment when you're too drunk to realize you're drinking vodka and not water

I've done that. My friend was like "What are you drinking?" and I was like "Coke, why?" and then they said "Bro, this is straight rum, there's no Coke in here."

Even when I'm not already drunk, I'll say that Smirnoff Red can legitimately be mistaken for water.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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6/16/2013 3:30:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:28:19 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:22:33 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:20:50 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:19:03 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:18:05 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:13:50 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:12:51 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:11:53 PM, Noumena wrote:
......find yer cigarettes. This is a bad one.

That sounds bad lol

It definitely is, there is little worse than being drunk and unable to find ones smokes

Running out of beer (or whatever kind of alky yer drinking) is the only thing worse.

Pretty much, beer and smokes, the essentials

And a good place to situate yerself. I don't do that walking around sh't when I'm drunk. Unless there are games. Then Ima kick yer arse.

If its quarters or beer pong, no, you won't

Depends on my partner with pong. With quarters I'll probably concede to ya.

If its a hottie, just have her flash me when I'm shooting, I mean, it won't work, but I'll at least get a nice view ;)
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
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6/16/2013 3:32:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:06:28 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment you're too drunk to remember where your pants are

I'v two additions to this one.

That moment you're too drunk to remember where your pants are, even though they're around your ankles.

That moment you're too drunk to pull your pants up after going to the bathroom.


That moment you're too drunk to remember your address

That moment you're too drunk to remember your name

That moment you're so drunk you try and give the cops your drink.

That moment you're so drunk you start yelling at people to tell you where you are, even though you're in the worst neighborhood around.

That moment you're so drunk the cops don't even want to deal with you.

That moment you're too drunk to get into your own bed.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 4:56:57 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 3:32:27 PM, muzebreak wrote:
At 6/16/2013 3:06:28 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
That moment you're too drunk to remember where your pants are

I'v two additions to this one.

That moment you're too drunk to remember where your pants are, even though they're around your ankles.

That moment you're too drunk to pull your pants up after going to the bathroom.


That moment you're too drunk to remember your address

That moment you're too drunk to remember your name

That moment you're so drunk you try and give the cops your drink.

That moment you're so drunk you start yelling at people to tell you where you are, even though you're in the worst neighborhood around.

That moment you're so drunk the cops don't even want to deal with you.

That moment you're too drunk to get into your own bed.

I've done this. I did it in a restaurant though. I was like "Where am I? Someone tell me where I am!" lol
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,281
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6/16/2013 6:39:09 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/16/2013 6:00:11 PM, SarcasticIndeed wrote:
And the most I've ever gotten to is feeling slightly dizzy.

Well you sir are missing out.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16