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Story Writing Attempt

Stephen_Hawkins
Posts: 5,316
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6/17/2013 3:03:57 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
http://www.fanfiction.net...

This is a story I started writing ages ago, and I am tempted to kickstart and try and keep going with. It started a while ago (over a year actually), but I think it was one of my better pieces, and I like where I was headed with it.

Anyway, it'd be great if I could get some reviews. Preferably both here and on the site (on the site as well b/c it of course makes more people likely to read it), and constructive criticism would be great.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to be Gay, he'll positively influence the GDP.

Social Contract Theory debate: http://www.debate.org...
Stephen_Hawkins
Posts: 5,316
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6/18/2013 3:15:06 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/18/2013 1:13:51 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
What's it based off of?

Inspiration comes mostly from the Fallout World. It doesn't relate to it in any meaningful way, other than a few creatures and weapons I refer to are from the game (laser rifle, for example, or yao guai). Nothing that makes it inaccessible.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to be Gay, he'll positively influence the GDP.

Social Contract Theory debate: http://www.debate.org...
SarcasticIndeed
Posts: 2,215
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6/19/2013 9:15:50 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I loved playing Fallout 3, so the setting wasn't hard to understand for me, but you should give a bit of backstory into how things developed over in the Europe. There are too many questions one can ask at the moment.

That said, I've only read chapter one. It's really well written, and not at all hard to read and comprehend. I like it:)

Things like this inspire me to write some fan fiction, but then the level of writing you show outright discourages me.
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Stephen_Hawkins
Posts: 5,316
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6/19/2013 2:06:34 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/19/2013 9:15:50 AM, SarcasticIndeed wrote:
I loved playing Fallout 3, so the setting wasn't hard to understand for me, but you should give a bit of backstory into how things developed over in the Europe. There are too many questions one can ask at the moment.

That said, I've only read chapter one. It's really well written, and not at all hard to read and comprehend. I like it:)

Thanks for the feedback! If you'd post this on the website as well, I'd be grateful. The more reviews you get, the more people look at it, and the more popular it becomes as a result.

With the backstory over Europe, I was tempted to write some, but I have decided to stick to the principle of "explore not explain": How London has developed should evolve over time. Hopefully you'll be able to understand it soon - especially when I get to around chapter 8, as around that point I'll start giving more of the general geography of The City.

Things like this inspire me to write some fan fiction, but then the level of writing you show outright discourages me.

It's something you get better at over time! My other story is quite a tad worse, but the one I am writing now is coming together nicely. Who knows - I might even finish this story! Fanfictions usually dwell in the stage of unfinished limbo.

A way I've learnt is that I've read a lot of plays and extracts. Books as well of course, but reading a fair bit of texts like these gives you a great ability to see which analogies, examples, ideas and themes you like to write and use. Chekov's On the Harmful Effect of Tobacco and Wilde's Vera - in fact, most shorts by the two - inspired most of my comedy writings (though of course this fiction does not contain comedy). But I digress: reading others works and thinking on how you'd improve a sentence or paragraph is a great way of learning.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to be Gay, he'll positively influence the GDP.

Social Contract Theory debate: http://www.debate.org...
SarcasticIndeed
Posts: 2,215
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6/20/2013 4:36:25 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 6/19/2013 2:06:34 PM, Stephen_Hawkins wrote:
At 6/19/2013 9:15:50 AM, SarcasticIndeed wrote:
I loved playing Fallout 3, so the setting wasn't hard to understand for me, but you should give a bit of backstory into how things developed over in the Europe. There are too many questions one can ask at the moment.

That said, I've only read chapter one. It's really well written, and not at all hard to read and comprehend. I like it:)


Thanks for the feedback! If you'd post this on the website as well, I'd be grateful. The more reviews you get, the more people look at it, and the more popular it becomes as a result.
Will do so quickly.

With the backstory over Europe, I was tempted to write some, but I have decided to stick to the principle of "explore not explain": How London has developed should evolve over time. Hopefully you'll be able to understand it soon - especially when I get to around chapter 8, as around that point I'll start giving more of the general geography of The City.

Things like this inspire me to write some fan fiction, but then the level of writing you show outright discourages me.

It's something you get better at over time! My other story is quite a tad worse, but the one I am writing now is coming together nicely. Who knows - I might even finish this story! Fanfictions usually dwell in the stage of unfinished limbo.

A way I've learnt is that I've read a lot of plays and extracts. Books as well of course, but reading a fair bit of texts like these gives you a great ability to see which analogies, examples, ideas and themes you like to write and use. Chekov's On the Harmful Effect of Tobacco and Wilde's Vera - in fact, most shorts by the two - inspired most of my comedy writings (though of course this fiction does not contain comedy). But I digress: reading others works and thinking on how you'd improve a sentence or paragraph is a great way of learning.
Yeah, I know. I'll try to get myself to read more things in English, want to expand my vocabulary and writing skills, I just never get to it.
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