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First Breakup.

justin.graves
Posts: 220
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7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
That's right, the unattractive, geeky, fairly abrasive justin.graves has, sctatch that, had a girlfriend. She just told me tonight that she wants us to be "Just Friends" now. Reason: The God Card. (i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.) Usually a Christian guy says "Really? Well the hormones and chemicals I tell myself are God's voice say something totally different.

We were an item for about six months. In which time I was dumb enough to get really emotionally invented. Not to mention financially. (Like, I spent about $200) Point being, she was always talking about our future and marriage and love... and I got foolishly caught up in it. I told her I loved her and vice-versa multiple times. I've still got feelings for this girl. She says we can still be friends, but she won't come to my 16th. Birthday Party anymore for "personal reasons." She said she'd come before the breakup. There was no argument, I just said I'd have to think things over.

I'm like a dude stumbling around in a dark room filled with Legos. Advice? Wisdom? Something?
-Justin K. Graves, Demon Hunter
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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7/4/2013 12:53:19 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I feel you, this type of thing has happened to me multiple times out of the blue. It wears you down.

First of all... you don't want her at your birthday party. Trust me. Just that's for the best.

Second, you'll get over her. I promise. There are other and better people out there. I know it hurts but keep your head up.

This might be the first time but it won't be the last. Sad but true.
BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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7/4/2013 12:55:40 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
(i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.)

Seriously? No joke, this is what she said?
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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7/4/2013 12:57:40 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
I'm like a dude stumbling around in a dark room filled with Legos. Advice? Wisdom? Something?
Yes. Live a happy, single life while you're young. Trust me, it feels great.
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
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7/4/2013 1:26:26 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Figure out what you can learn from the overall experience. It was only by analyzing my own relationships after the fact that I was able to test out different approaches (such as setting arbitrary "rules" to keep myself from getting too swept up by the power of emotional response)

Also, to reiterate the other poster, you don't want her at your party.
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1Devilsadvocate
Posts: 1,518
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7/4/2013 2:39:32 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
This too shall pass.
I cannot write in English, because of the treacherous spelling. When I am reading, I only hear it and am unable to remember what the written word looks like."
"Albert Einstein

http://www.twainquotes.com... , http://thewritecorner.wordpress.com... , http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com...
justin.graves
Posts: 220
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7/4/2013 8:39:55 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/4/2013 12:55:40 AM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
(i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.)

Seriously? No joke, this is what she said?

Tack on "Our relationship was getting in the way of my relationship with God." and yes. I don't even know how people outside of the Church end relationships. Well... since most Christians pray to God for what to do on every issue... that's just what they can lay over the top of "I found someone else." "You've put on ten pounds since we met." or "I have been cheating on you and want to get out of the relationship before you find out."

Honestly, I think for her the God Card might have been the real reason... she wants to go into the ministry as a missionary to Africa and I want to stay in the US and become a lawyer. Totally different plans. Since I'm pretty sure that God could have said that. It was not a nasty breakup, so I'll give the benefit of the doubt.
-Justin K. Graves, Demon Hunter
jzonda415
Posts: 151
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7/6/2013 2:10:11 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
That's right, the unattractive, geeky, fairly abrasive justin.graves has, sctatch that, had a girlfriend. She just told me tonight that she wants us to be "Just Friends" now. Reason: The God Card. (i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.) Usually a Christian guy says "Really? Well the hormones and chemicals I tell myself are God's voice say something totally different.

We were an item for about six months. In which time I was dumb enough to get really emotionally invented. Not to mention financially. (Like, I spent about $200) Point being, she was always talking about our future and marriage and love... and I got foolishly caught up in it. I told her I loved her and vice-versa multiple times. I've still got feelings for this girl. She says we can still be friends, but she won't come to my 16th. Birthday Party anymore for "personal reasons." She said she'd come before the breakup. There was no argument, I just said I'd have to think things over.

I'm like a dude stumbling around in a dark room filled with Legos. Advice? Wisdom? Something?

I have been in your exact situation before (Same duration too). I dated a girl and we were madly in love and all of a sudden, out of the blue, everything was over.

Here is my cliche but true advice: Move on.

Why? I didn't move on. I still had feelings for my Ex, and it was weeks and months of pure pain. Every word she said to me I thought over and it took up all of my time. Whenever She was rude to me, it ruined my life. What happened was that I prolonged my suffering and kept putting myself out there to be hurt. You might still love her, but the only thing to do is to accept it and move on. If you don't move on, like me, you will regret it.
justin.graves
Posts: 220
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7/6/2013 6:20:58 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/6/2013 5:20:30 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Burn her house down

That is slightly illegal...

Besides, I'm not mad at this girl, just confused.
-Justin K. Graves, Demon Hunter
justin.graves
Posts: 220
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7/6/2013 7:12:44 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/6/2013 6:54:48 AM, Mysterious_Stranger wrote:
Wow I wish possessed the ability to substitute reasonable answers with religious ones.

Oh, you have no idea... What would she have told me otherwise:

'Yeah, I used to think you were kind of hot... but you gained 10 pounds over the past 6 months.'

"Yeah, I found this guy, and he is soooooo much better than you."

"I have jealousy issues that take over my life, so the smart thing to do is end this."

idk...
-Justin K. Graves, Demon Hunter
Jordan56
Posts: 1,987
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7/6/2013 7:38:39 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/4/2013 12:55:40 AM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
(i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.)

Seriously? No joke, this is what she said?

My first girlfriend broke up with me just like that. I wanted to slap her so hard. She even did it in church. I'm like "you fvcking lier. I know the real reason you whore". She cried when I told her that. And kissed me after, but we never talked again. If we did, it was filled with extreme awkwardness and tension.
justin.graves
Posts: 220
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7/6/2013 9:27:02 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/6/2013 7:38:39 AM, Jordan56 wrote:
At 7/4/2013 12:55:40 AM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
(i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.)

Seriously? No joke, this is what she said?

My first girlfriend broke up with me just like that. I wanted to slap her so hard. She even did it in church. I'm like "you fvcking lier. I know the real reason you whore". She cried when I told her that. And kissed me after, but we never talked again. If we did, it was filled with extreme awkwardness and tension.

Weelllll... this girl was a good friend before the relationship, so i plan on still being friends. The breakup went waaaaaaaaay better than that.
-Justin K. Graves, Demon Hunter
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/6/2013 2:01:01 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
We were an item for about six months. In which time I was dumb enough to get really emotionally invented. Not to mention financially. (Like, I spent about $200) Point being, she was always talking about our future and marriage and love... and I got foolishly caught up in it


Attachment to the outcome destroys attraction. Detach yourself from the outcome and just be present in the moment with girls, enjoy them and give value.

Advice? Wisdom? Something?

You'll feel shitty about it for about 1-2 weeks, but you'll cease to care about it if you get another girl. Get happy now, eat good food, sleep regularly, exercise, get your life in order, become positive. There are 3.5 billion girls in the world; women are abundant. Work on your social skills by being intelligent about each conversation you have (make a goal of talking to 10 people a day); go find another girl.
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justin.graves
Posts: 220
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7/6/2013 2:09:08 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/6/2013 2:01:01 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
We were an item for about six months. In which time I was dumb enough to get really emotionally invented. Not to mention financially. (Like, I spent about $200) Point being, she was always talking about our future and marriage and love... and I got foolishly caught up in it


Attachment to the outcome destroys attraction. Detach yourself from the outcome and just be present in the moment with girls, enjoy them and give value.

Advice? Wisdom? Something?

You'll feel shitty about it for about 1-2 weeks, but you'll cease to care about it if you get another girl. Get happy now, eat good food, sleep regularly, exercise, get your life in order, become positive. There are 3.5 billion girls in the world; women are abundant. Work on your social skills by being intelligent about each conversation you have (make a goal of talking to 10 people a day); go find another girl.

Well, I found two while we are in the relationship, but I said I was taken, so now I'm revisiting my options.
-Justin K. Graves, Demon Hunter
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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7/6/2013 5:37:13 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
No worries bro. There are plenty of fish in the sea (for when we run out of women).
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

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johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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7/6/2013 10:37:39 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/6/2013 6:20:58 AM, justin.graves wrote:
At 7/6/2013 5:20:30 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
Burn her house down

That is slightly illegal...

Besides, I'm not mad at this girl, just confused.

Do it anyway
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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7/7/2013 9:01:18 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/3/2013 8:21:30 PM, justin.graves wrote:
That's right, the unattractive, geeky, fairly abrasive justin.graves has, sctatch that, had a girlfriend. She just told me tonight that she wants us to be "Just Friends" now. Reason: The God Card. (i.e. I prayed to God and He said I should break up with you.) Usually a Christian guy says "Really? Well the hormones and chemicals I tell myself are God's voice say something totally different.

We were an item for about six months. In which time I was dumb enough to get really emotionally invented. Not to mention financially. (Like, I spent about $200) Point being, she was always talking about our future and marriage and love... and I got foolishly caught up in it. I told her I loved her and vice-versa multiple times. I've still got feelings for this girl. She says we can still be friends, but she won't come to my 16th. Birthday Party anymore for "personal reasons." She said she'd come before the breakup. There was no argument, I just said I'd have to think things over.

I'm like a dude stumbling around in a dark room filled with Legos. Advice? Wisdom? Something?

You're only 15, so of course you're confused by women, but you won't always be 15.

And let me assure you, when you're my age, after 40 years of various experiences with women, perhaps after finding a soul mate, being married, raising a family and spending most of your life with the woman you love, after sharing your hopes, dreams and fears with her, you'll be wiser and things will be much different than they are now.

You'll still be confused of course, that doesn't change, but you will be a lot older and that's different.
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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7/7/2013 9:04:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
B*tches ain't sh*t but hoes and tricks
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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7/7/2013 9:10:08 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
got 99 problems...
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
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"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

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DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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7/7/2013 9:10:35 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Bros before hoes. That's my philosophy.

*nudge nudge wink wink double entendre*
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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7/7/2013 9:19:08 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/7/2013 9:10:35 PM, DetectableNinja wrote:
Bros before hoes. That's my philosophy.

*nudge nudge wink wink double entendre*

I see what you did ther.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.