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Your First Time

Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/22/2013 4:17:09 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Tell the awkward, funny, sexy story of your first time getting it on.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Jack212
Posts: 572
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7/22/2013 4:57:39 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
A female friend seduced me. I discovered that there are certain things my penis will not do, and that nymphomania isn't as fun as it sounds - especially when you're trying to sleep and she likes it rough. Also, "wet" means "fvcking torrential". Aside from making my relationship with her confusing, I don't think lose my virginity changed me much.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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7/22/2013 5:35:15 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Mine was with another virgin and there was no way I was allowed on top. Ended up blowing my load on her tits and jumping out the window.

^Art
YYW
Posts: 36,403
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7/22/2013 11:07:21 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 4:17:09 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Tell the awkward, funny, sexy story of your first time getting it on.

I don't kiss and tell lol
Tsar of DDO
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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7/22/2013 12:59:29 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I don't think this will garner much (non-troll) attention.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
xXCryptoXx
Posts: 5,000
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7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?
Nolite Timere
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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7/22/2013 2:07:38 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

Are you serious? Have you ever been to a debate or forensics tournament, especially a national one? Debaters and forensicaters are horny little fvckers, lol.

In the words of my all-time favorite band Vampire Weekend, even if you're a debater:

Young bloods can't be settling down.
Young hearts need the pressure to pound,
So hold me close my baby."
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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7/22/2013 2:24:26 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

speak for yourself bro ;)
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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7/22/2013 3:01:50 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 4:17:09 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Tell the awkward, funny, sexy story of your first time getting it on.

We did outercourse for awhile; the first time we did intercourse was actually an accident. An accident we did not correct. Neither of us finished the first time, don't know why, but it was great.

Also, neither of us could understand why missionary was supposed to be the default, easiest position; we couldn't figure that sh!t out at first lol (We were both virgins of course; we were each other's first and, to this day, only.)
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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7/22/2013 3:05:14 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

Many of the members on here are young enough to be excused, but there are plenty of others to share stories. It really doesn't matter how nerdy a particular clique is perceived by the majority; nerds have their mating seasons, too.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/22/2013 3:05:37 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Well, I'll volunteer a 'first time' story to get the ball rolling. WARNING: Some material may not be suitable for all listeners or children. If you would like to hear something different, switch to a different thread. Thanks for listening.

1. I had a crush on this girl in high school, but I was a little bitch and didn't talk to her. Once I felt entitled, I talked to her. It was summer of 2012 and I was ready.

2. She had a boyfriend, but I invited her to do something fun with me (a surprise), because her bf is a boring dude (Mormon). Brought her slacklining, to the zoo, awesome Mexican food, then to this cave/lookout for a sunset. I started touching her more and more, set off fireworks later with her and went for the kiss several times. She wouldn't let it happen, because she was dating someone and I was too. Took her home, and said goodnight.

3. She thought about me the entire next day. Invited me over to watch a movie at midnight. I brought condoms in my pocket. We talked for 20 minutes, then watched the movie for a bit. I started getting more physical, thought of how long I've wanted her, and watched her responses for the pace I wanted to set. Gave her a back massage (took her bra off), grabbed her a$$, flipped her over and kissed her (first time) then started making out with her (slowly at first, then built up).

4. Eventually I got her soaked, horny, and ready. I played with her cute pvssy through her panties, then inside them. She went to the bathroom and came back fully naked. I got ready, and she went on top. I tried probably ten different positions, because I was excited for my first time and wanted to learn as much as I could. She's one of those girls who likes it fast and hard, so I was drenched in sweat and pounding her hard in a few, great power-positions; it was more sex than love-making. I came on her stomach when I pulled out, but some hit her in the face. It was pretty funny for both of us.

5. I stayed the night and we talked about "us" and random stuff while we cuddled. I'm a cuddly-touchy person, so full disclosure. She didn't meet enough of my criteria for dating, so I cut things off 2-weeks after.

All-in-all, it was pretty awesome. My second time was even better, and so on... Around this time is when I developed my sexual bucket list, which includes seducing a girl from every major religion.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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7/22/2013 3:16:33 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
WSA reminded me to clarify: our first time together was definitely more love-making than animalistic sex.

It's hard to think of any awkward stories since we were so close from the beginning, but these come close:

1. I once came in her eye when I pulled out.

2. She once sneezed mid-sex. There was a slight pause, and I said "did... did you just sneeze on me?" She was afraid it would have been a mood-killer but her sneezes are too cute to be mood-killers. We just continued and laughed about it afterward.

3. When we were living with her grandparents, her grandmother once walked in on us. We had plenty of time to stop what we were doing by the time she got up those stairs (we were in the attic), but it was a helluva mood-killer.

4. This one is gonna seem ridiculous, but she once gave me a handjob using a plastic bag, not knowing it was full of ants. That... didn't turn out well.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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7/22/2013 3:46:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I've been laid.
DakotaKrafick
Posts: 1,517
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7/22/2013 3:51:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 3:46:48 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I've been laid.

*Gives CP a peanutbutter cookie.*

Your turn to share stories :D
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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7/22/2013 3:54:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 3:51:17 PM, DakotaKrafick wrote:
At 7/22/2013 3:46:48 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I've been laid.

*Gives CP a peanutbutter cookie.*

Your turn to share stories :D

Nope, my first time is NOT something I want to share.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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7/22/2013 3:56:51 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 3:46:48 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I've been laid.

http://24.media.tumblr.com...
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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7/22/2013 4:01:31 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 3:05:37 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Well, I'll volunteer a 'first time' story to get the ball rolling. WARNING: Some material may not be suitable for all listeners or children. If you would like to hear something different, switch to a different thread. Thanks for listening.


1. I had a crush on this girl in high school, but I was a little bitch and didn't talk to her. Once I felt entitled, I talked to her. It was summer of 2012 and I was ready.

2. She had a boyfriend, but I invited her to do something fun with me (a surprise), because her bf is a boring dude (Mormon). Brought her slacklining, to the zoo, awesome Mexican food, then to this cave/lookout for a sunset. I started touching her more and more, set off fireworks later with her and went for the kiss several times. She wouldn't let it happen, because she was dating someone and I was too. Took her home, and said goodnight.

3. She thought about me the entire next day. Invited me over to watch a movie at midnight. I brought condoms in my pocket. We talked for 20 minutes, then watched the movie for a bit. I started getting more physical, thought of how long I've wanted her, and watched her responses for the pace I wanted to set. Gave her a back massage (took her bra off), grabbed her a$$, flipped her over and kissed her (first time) then started making out with her (slowly at first, then built up).

4. Eventually I got her soaked, horny, and ready. I played with her cute pvssy through her panties, then inside them. She went to the bathroom and came back fully naked. I got ready, and she went on top. I tried probably ten different positions, because I was excited for my first time and wanted to learn as much as I could. She's one of those girls who likes it fast and hard, so I was drenched in sweat and pounding her hard in a few, great power-positions; it was more sex than love-making. I came on her stomach when I pulled out, but some hit her in the face. It was pretty funny for both of us.

5. I stayed the night and we talked about "us" and random stuff while we cuddled. I'm a cuddly-touchy person, so full disclosure. She didn't meet enough of my criteria for dating, so I cut things off 2-weeks after.

All-in-all, it was pretty awesome. My second time was even better, and so on... Around this time is when I developed my sexual bucket list, which includes seducing a girl from every major religion.

So basically you said "Fvck the fact that both of us have SOs, lemme just get my d1ck wet."

Seems legit.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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7/22/2013 4:45:13 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 3:56:51 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 7/22/2013 3:46:48 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I've been laid.

http://24.media.tumblr.com...
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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7/22/2013 5:04:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 4:50:35 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
I'm actually a virgin, so I don't have any stories.

I'm the father of yer child.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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7/22/2013 5:15:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 5:04:02 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 7/22/2013 4:50:35 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
I'm actually a virgin, so I don't have any stories.

I'm the father of yer child.

Win.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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7/22/2013 5:16:54 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Virgin here. Nothing to tell. I am starting to worry that little johhny is going to fall of and die from disuse.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
tulle
Posts: 4,445
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7/22/2013 7:10:08 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I hear Maikuru is amazing in bed.
yang.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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7/22/2013 7:10:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 7:10:08 PM, tulle wrote:
At 7/22/2013 1:10:37 PM, xXCryptoXx wrote:
I don't think this topic will garner much attention at all, I mean after all, how many debaters here do you really have been laid?

I hear Maikuru is amazing in bed.

LMFAO XD
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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7/22/2013 8:43:32 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
WSA I came twice reading your description. Well played. Well I had my first time this last weekend, FIRST TIME BANGING TWO CHICKS AT ONCE THAT IS **BRO-PROPS**

So me and my roommate, a fearsome duo of chick-destroying potential, went out last Sunday to the freak-show. We brought home 3 chicks, and I banged one of them in my room while we were partying it up. The other two were lesbians (one was leading the other around on a leash attached to her neck) so I had an idea: leave the door open while I bang her to taunt the lezzies! So I banged her pretty good and got her to moan as much as I could while everybody was in the kitchen, then afterwards I came out like Hugh Hefner and just kept taunting the lezzies any way I could. My roommate finally got one of them to go to bed with him (fcker took long enough, he can't just do it he has to be dramatic) and when he did I grabbed the one by the leash and led her into my room so she could help me attack the first chick. At first she didn't comply and I nearly gave up hope... she disconnected the leash while I was dragging her into the room... but a moment later she was sitting next to me on my bed, and I was as happy as a clam in high-tide.

So I wasn't quite sure what to do with two girls, I've never been a part of that before. I basically just let the lezzie go after the first girl, and I took turns banging them from the back. It was actually quite easy... I was a bit nervous but since they concentrated on each other there was very little in terms of pressure. On a side note, the lezzie was ragging and I earned my red-wings BIG time without even really knowing it. Like I could tell that she was awfully wet and not quite tasting right, but I didn't realize I was cannibalizing her like a freaking vampire. I was too drunk to put 2+2 together and she was too drunk to take out her tampon and give a brotha a heads-up. Whatevs, won't be the first or last time. I'm a pretty nasty MF so it's just another day at the races I guess, but when I do see her again sober (whenever that is) we are going to have a (hopefully not-too) awkward convo on the subject.

Last night I finished off the hat-trick with the third girl, although it created some drama with my roomy who is still seeing her but we are still all cool, I guess that's a story for another time.

As for my first time, that was in '97 when I was 15. I ate this girl out and she tasted horrible, I ran into the bathroom in the middle and washed my face. I don't remember the rest very well; don't think I want to, truthfully.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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7/22/2013 8:49:13 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 8:43:32 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
WSA I came twice reading your description. Well played. Well I had my first time this last weekend, FIRST TIME BANGING TWO CHICKS AT ONCE THAT IS **BRO-PROPS**

So me and my roommate, a fearsome duo of chick-destroying potential, went out last Sunday to the freak-show. We brought home 3 chicks, and I banged one of them in my room while we were partying it up. The other two were lesbians (one was leading the other around on a leash attached to her neck) so I had an idea: leave the door open while I bang her to taunt the lezzies! So I banged her pretty good and got her to moan as much as I could while everybody was in the kitchen, then afterwards I came out like Hugh Hefner and just kept taunting the lezzies any way I could. My roommate finally got one of them to go to bed with him (fcker took long enough, he can't just do it he has to be dramatic) and when he did I grabbed the one by the leash and led her into my room so she could help me attack the first chick. At first she didn't comply and I nearly gave up hope... she disconnected the leash while I was dragging her into the room... but a moment later she was sitting next to me on my bed, and I was as happy as a clam in high-tide.

So I wasn't quite sure what to do with two girls, I've never been a part of that before. I basically just let the lezzie go after the first girl, and I took turns banging them from the back. It was actually quite easy... I was a bit nervous but since they concentrated on each other there was very little in terms of pressure. On a side note, the lezzie was ragging and I earned my red-wings BIG time without even really knowing it. Like I could tell that she was awfully wet and not quite tasting right, but I didn't realize I was cannibalizing her like a freaking vampire. I was too drunk to put 2+2 together and she was too drunk to take out her tampon and give a brotha a heads-up. Whatevs, won't be the first or last time. I'm a pretty nasty MF so it's just another day at the races I guess, but when I do see her again sober (whenever that is) we are going to have a (hopefully not-too) awkward convo on the subject.

Last night I finished off the hat-trick with the third girl, although it created some drama with my roomy who is still seeing her but we are still all cool, I guess that's a story for another time.

As for my first time, that was in '97 when I was 15. I ate this girl out and she tasted horrible, I ran into the bathroom in the middle and washed my face. I don't remember the rest very well; don't think I want to, truthfully.

Nooooooooo is this real life? What a story. Good god.

+ 1,000,000 bro points for you good sir.
TheMellowMan
Posts: 13
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7/28/2013 12:20:10 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I was 15, I had been hanging out with this cute guy for a while. We were playing some video games in my room, my parents were out for date night. He was gay (obviously) and he came on to me, he just pulled me over and started making out with me. I was happy to comply. It just went on from there. He was a bit older and taught me a lot of stuff that night, it was a good night... ;)
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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7/28/2013 9:26:04 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 7/22/2013 8:49:13 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/22/2013 8:43:32 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
WSA I came twice reading your description. Well played. Well I had my first time this last weekend, FIRST TIME BANGING TWO CHICKS AT ONCE THAT IS **BRO-PROPS**

So me and my roommate, a fearsome duo of chick-destroying potential, went out last Sunday to the freak-show. We brought home 3 chicks, and I banged one of them in my room while we were partying it up. The other two were lesbians (one was leading the other around on a leash attached to her neck) so I had an idea: leave the door open while I bang her to taunt the lezzies! So I banged her pretty good and got her to moan as much as I could while everybody was in the kitchen, then afterwards I came out like Hugh Hefner and just kept taunting the lezzies any way I could. My roommate finally got one of them to go to bed with him (fcker took long enough, he can't just do it he has to be dramatic) and when he did I grabbed the one by the leash and led her into my room so she could help me attack the first chick. At first she didn't comply and I nearly gave up hope... she disconnected the leash while I was dragging her into the room... but a moment later she was sitting next to me on my bed, and I was as happy as a clam in high-tide.

So I wasn't quite sure what to do with two girls, I've never been a part of that before. I basically just let the lezzie go after the first girl, and I took turns banging them from the back. It was actually quite easy... I was a bit nervous but since they concentrated on each other there was very little in terms of pressure. On a side note, the lezzie was ragging and I earned my red-wings BIG time without even really knowing it. Like I could tell that she was awfully wet and not quite tasting right, but I didn't realize I was cannibalizing her like a freaking vampire. I was too drunk to put 2+2 together and she was too drunk to take out her tampon and give a brotha a heads-up. Whatevs, won't be the first or last time. I'm a pretty nasty MF so it's just another day at the races I guess, but when I do see her again sober (whenever that is) we are going to have a (hopefully not-too) awkward convo on the subject.

Last night I finished off the hat-trick with the third girl, although it created some drama with my roomy who is still seeing her but we are still all cool, I guess that's a story for another time.

As for my first time, that was in '97 when I was 15. I ate this girl out and she tasted horrible, I ran into the bathroom in the middle and washed my face. I don't remember the rest very well; don't think I want to, truthfully.

Nooooooooo is this real life? What a story. Good god.

+ 1,000,000 bro points for you good sir.

Bro-points transferred from your account to mine. Thank you.

Tonight is promising to be part II of the saga...
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/30/2013 1:09:32 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
R0b1Billion, I feel like we'd get along. Would you be interested in doing a debate in which we give each other horrible openers to use on girls, then recover from them, and get the number? I'm in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin right now btw.
DRUG HARM: http://imgur.com...
Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.