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What should I do?

SitaraPorDios
Posts: 102
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8/20/2013 10:33:52 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I have this person that i care about very much. He was a good friend, but I effed up and ruined things like I usually do. I just want to say "hey, I am so sorry. I will miss you", but I am afraid to open my heart. Should I risk it?
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R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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8/20/2013 10:38:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
No, I think it would be terrible to stir things up just to tell him you're going to "miss" him. If I screwed up that bad, bad enough to ruin a relationship, telling them I'll miss them instead of fixing the problem would seem like a slap in the face.
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Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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8/20/2013 11:02:12 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 8/20/2013 10:33:52 PM, SitaraPorDios wrote:
I have this person that i care about very much. He was a good friend, but I effed up and ruined things like I usually do. I just want to say "hey, I am so sorry. I will miss you", but I am afraid to open my heart. Should I risk it?

There is no where near enough specifics to give an in depth answer (and that is your choice to share or not, the government already knows anyway), but there is a right time and a wrong time to open up, and there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.

Is the "I will miss you" in reference to them no longer being in a relationship with you or are they going far away? If they are still near the "I will miss you" may only be awkward and creepy and only hurt the opportunities to rectify the situation. It is best to try to work though the grieving processes.

Start by apologizing for the way things turned out (this often doesn't matter if it is your fault, you can be sorry for the situation without saying "my bad"). Depending on how close you two were, you may be able to ask what you can do to help them. Do they need space and time? Can they go back to a previous point in the relationship (like can you both still hang out as friends in a group)? Do what makes them comfortable. And then take baby steps forward from there.
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YYW
Posts: 36,326
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8/21/2013 7:15:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 8/20/2013 10:33:52 PM, SitaraPorDios wrote:
I have this person that i care about very much. He was a good friend, but I effed up and ruined things like I usually do. I just want to say "hey, I am so sorry. I will miss you", but I am afraid to open my heart. Should I risk it?

I can't think of a good reason why a person wouldn't apologize if they were wrong. Apologizing doesn't make you less of a person; rather, it shows that you have the character to accept responsibility when you are wrong. I especially can't think of a good reason why a person wouldn't apologize if the person they wronged was a close friend.
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