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My mother wants to quit her job.

Eitan_Zohar
Posts: 2,697
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10/25/2013 2:40:27 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
She works at a reference lab for blood and gets put out by the way she's treated. She often cries and obsesses about her stress at home. Apparently the problems are that she feels underappreciated, her lead tech doesn't like her and intentionally finds errors in her work in order to penalize her, other coworkers side with the lead tech, the lab is very formal and bureaucratized with no room for innocent mistakes and wastes her time with pointless procedure, that there is no social atmosphere, and that nobody would care if she quit tomorrow. She says that she misses her old reference lab in Florida, but we can't exactly move there now because my father has a job at Hartsfield as an airplane mechanic.

She emailed an angry letter to one of her coworkers today over this and claims she'll quit tomorrow. I suspect she's just fantasizing like I used to imagine turning into an eagle and flying out a classroom window, but I am not going to wait for her to (A) get cancer from the stress or (B) actually go through with quitting and cut the family salary in half before anyone can respond. I'm not sure if there are mediation services at her job (she works at the Red Cross). Other than that, is there anything I can do? Do therapists help this sort of thing? I'm not just talking about helping her now, she needs to be able deal with the people at work every day without having a nervous breakdown.
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book."
TUF
Posts: 21,309
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10/25/2013 2:58:44 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms"to choose one"s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one"s own way.

-Viktor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl was imprisoned In a nazi concentration camp and tortured for scientific research. They took everything from him, or so it appeared. Viktor didn't look at it that way, and that gives me a little bit of inspiration when I feel loathing for a job or people that treat me me unfairly.

I can understand not liking a job based on being treated fairly, and I think your mother shiukd always be looking for something more fitting. But until then I think the best advice to give her is that happiness is relevant to her perception of things. She can't control the lead tech, or the other Employees actions, but she does have control over how she chooses to let it effect her.
"I've got to go and grab a shirt" ~ Airmax1227
Eitan_Zohar
Posts: 2,697
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10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

Jack sh!t. Why is that relevant, other than to make some obtuse point about double standards? I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book."
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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10/25/2013 4:12:27 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Do you mean thirty a day??
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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10/25/2013 4:34:40 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Therapists help that sort of thing, yeah. That sounds like a pretty messed up situation. If she's feeling underappreciated though, you might possibly be able to do something to help her out there, no? I mean you could sound more concerned for her general well-being. People have an amazing ability to actually draw the world they perceive on themselves, even if it isn't necessarily the world that would exist were they not to perceive it as such. How if a person is afraid of an animal that leaves the animal more likely to be a danger to them, for example. You can change their perception, though.
Eitan_Zohar
Posts: 2,697
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10/25/2013 6:27:58 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 4:12:27 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Do you mean thirty a day??

No. Thirty dollars an hour isn't exactly spectacular.
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book."
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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10/25/2013 6:31:59 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 6:27:58 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 4:12:27 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Do you mean thirty a day??

No. Thirty dollars an hour isn't exactly spectacular.

WTF
Eitan_Zohar
Posts: 2,697
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10/25/2013 6:58:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 6:31:59 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 6:27:58 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 4:12:27 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Do you mean thirty a day??

No. Thirty dollars an hour isn't exactly spectacular.

WTF

Well, she averages around 900 a week (after all expenses have been covered). Times 52 is about 46,000 a year. Pretty obvious.
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book."
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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10/25/2013 7:47:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 6:58:48 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 6:31:59 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 6:27:58 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 4:12:27 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Do you mean thirty a day??

No. Thirty dollars an hour isn't exactly spectacular.

WTF

Well, she averages around 900 a week (after all expenses have been covered). Times 52 is about 46,000 a year. Pretty obvious.

For some reason I thought you were saying "If I got a job, I would make almost 30 dollars an hour, which isn't enough".
Eitan_Zohar
Posts: 2,697
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10/25/2013 7:49:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 7:47:02 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 6:58:48 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 6:31:59 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 6:27:58 PM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 4:12:27 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Do you mean thirty a day??

No. Thirty dollars an hour isn't exactly spectacular.

WTF

Well, she averages around 900 a week (after all expenses have been covered). Times 52 is about 46,000 a year. Pretty obvious.

For some reason I thought you were saying "If I got a job, I would make almost 30 dollars an hour, which isn't enough".

Oh, I see that now. Lol.
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book."
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
Posts: 18,324
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10/27/2013 12:35:16 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

Jack sh!t. Why is that relevant, other than to make some obtuse point about double standards? I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Why is the point that you are placing double standards on your mother "obtuse?"
Eitan_Zohar
Posts: 2,697
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10/27/2013 12:54:20 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/27/2013 12:35:16 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 10/25/2013 11:29:22 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
At 10/25/2013 2:57:14 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
What do you do to contribute to your total family salary?

Jack sh!t. Why is that relevant, other than to make some obtuse point about double standards? I couldn't get a job when I searched for one, and I would hardly make thirty dollars an hour if I did.

Why is the point that you are placing double standards on your mother "obtuse?"

We have different standards to begin with, is my point.

In other news, she didn't actually quit. Her cooworkers advised to just stand up to the lead tech because she's afraid of getting sent to HR (which has apparently happened to her before). Cheers!
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book."
YYW
Posts: 36,357
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10/27/2013 8:50:24 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/25/2013 2:40:27 AM, Eitan_Zohar wrote:
She works at a reference lab for blood and gets put out by the way she's treated. She often cries and obsesses about her stress at home. Apparently the problems are that she feels underappreciated, her lead tech doesn't like her and intentionally finds errors in her work in order to penalize her, other coworkers side with the lead tech, the lab is very formal and bureaucratized with no room for innocent mistakes and wastes her time with pointless procedure, that there is no social atmosphere, and that nobody would care if she quit tomorrow. She says that she misses her old reference lab in Florida, but we can't exactly move there now because my father has a job at Hartsfield as an airplane mechanic.

She emailed an angry letter to one of her coworkers today over this and claims she'll quit tomorrow. I suspect she's just fantasizing like I used to imagine turning into an eagle and flying out a classroom window, but I am not going to wait for her to (A) get cancer from the stress or (B) actually go through with quitting and cut the family salary in half before anyone can respond. I'm not sure if there are mediation services at her job (she works at the Red Cross). Other than that, is there anything I can do? Do therapists help this sort of thing? I'm not just talking about helping her now, she needs to be able deal with the people at work every day without having a nervous breakdown.

It sounds like your mom's personality isn't conducive to the environment of her workplace. Best that she find another job now.
Tsar of DDO