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How do you react to conflict?

YYW
Posts: 36,289
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12/26/2013 11:28:10 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Do you like conflict? Are you more inclined to run from conflict or are you more the type to stand and fight? How do you respond when others make personal attacks against you? Would you rather be the kind of person who does something else?
Tsar of DDO
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/26/2013 1:13:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
What kind of conflict?
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
xXCryptoXx
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12/26/2013 1:42:08 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I naturally avoid conflict and when I get into it I either choose to be the "bigger person" and back off or I diffuse it.
Nolite Timere
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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12/26/2013 1:58:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Brute force if it is physical, argumentation of facts as I know them to be born out by results if it is intellectual in nature.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
InvictusManeo
Posts: 384
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12/26/2013 2:37:47 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I used to enjoy and seek out conflict. Now I see it is better to question why I feel the need to argue in the first place. I may fight again, or argue (I'm human after all), but I am hopeful that if that time comes I will be able to look within myself and see that I am the cause of the conflict, and I have the power to resolve it without expecting anything from other people.

I mean, this question assumes that you always act the same in different situations. There is no static reaction.
InvictusManeo
Posts: 384
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12/26/2013 2:41:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Two people arguing with 'facts' is like watching two blind people arguing about Van Gogh vs Picasso. They're both missing a crucial element. Perception. It is an exercise in futility.
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,483
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12/26/2013 4:01:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I enjoy some kinds of conflict. There are some, like intellectual jousting, without which our minds would be entirely unprepared to go out and face the world (which, in a way, is, for whatever its other advantages, the principal weakness of hermitage). But, I tend to think of these either as sport or as the genuine need to rectify some misunderstanding or disagreement--conflict, in the usual sense, whether it be physical or emotional, usually involves an element of hostility or ill-will which, though possibly only harbored on one end, is, on some or other level, almost always (in my experience) reciprocal. Attacks on another person's character always seem to play out this way, and, irrespective of whether they're more or less accurate according to some myopic level of analysis, what's crucial is that there intrudes into what would otherwise be a strictly disinterested inquiry some personal prejudice in the exercise of which I have no interest at all (and, as a consequence, it is this kind of conflict I do not like, and would much prefer to dismantle, rather than settle).

There are then some kinds, e.g,. physical confrontation, which I don't like, but in which I would nevertheless participate if I thought I needed to (self-defense in a potentially fatal situation, barring unusual circumstances, is one such class of cases). But, I don't actively practice for combat situations (not any more, anyway)--I try to stay fit, eat well, etc., but the advantages are naturally far wider in scope than being combat-ready.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/26/2013 8:08:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
My grandmother is in hospital and the moment and tensions are a bit high around here. My mother had me by the throat Christmas Eve, reveling in the fact that I wouldn't hit her. I smashed a hole in my door with my fist, smashed my fist, let her revel in that. Thankfully, she feels like a piece of sh*t, and rightly so. It all started with my father, though, and his beauty of a god-complex. See, it's easy to look down on others when you're so well-established in life. It all just fell into daddy's lap. Everything. And now all he has to do is keep it, keep his wife, keep his land, and laugh at the poor folk, be a smartarse. Doesn't go quite so smoothly when you have a little bastard of a genius son like me, though, lol. I f*cked him up Christmas Eve, trolled him to oblivion, rose his god-complex to the height of its comfort first, then brought it smashing down. The childish he resorted to... Wow. But I love it. At one stage I said, "Right, dad, I'll fight you," and he came running at me like an idiot, and I hit him a bare tap (whole load of family in between us) and he feigned being knocked out pretty much --pre-planned of course, that he might rid himself of that one thorn that bursts his lovely little bubble of delusion --and he makes an absolute fool of himself. I laughed, and he knew the fool he'd just made of himself, and I won. How do I react to conflict? I put it down, and hard. How about you, YYW? Tell dumb stories and make dumb threads around it?
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/26/2013 8:14:42 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Oh, I smashed a few mirrors, a laptop, and the Christmas ham too, lol. And, of course, all of it with complete justification. It's easy to walk fools to their own demise.
Idealist
Posts: 2,520
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12/26/2013 8:22:02 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/26/2013 11:28:10 AM, YYW wrote:
Do you like conflict? Are you more inclined to run from conflict or are you more the type to stand and fight? How do you respond when others make personal attacks against you? Would you rather be the kind of person who does something else?

I tend to back away when I'm confronted directly, as long as I don't feel physically threatened. But if someone says something ugly or threatening to another who is with me then I react in a reflexively aggressive motion. A couple of years ago I took my young daughter to a movie, and a man who appeared to be about twenty turned around in his his in front of us, demanding that she be quieter opening her snacks. Without thinking I went off on him, and we both wound-up being removed from the theater. So I guess it jut depends...
AnDoctuir
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12/26/2013 8:24:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I got the whole family in really, but it's a long story. Split my uncle's head open --how nice he's been to me since, lol. I'm a genius is how, much as daddy hates to think so. Mommy, grandmommy, uncle and all, look to me as God, LOL --much as he tries to impress them all with his bullsh*t, poor fellow.

It's nice to have a dad, YYW. Powerful guys, people to look after you when you're a frightened little sh*t. Not so nice when you're something different, though --just something to be put down.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/26/2013 8:34:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Of course, not in such brutal terms. But a tyrant can't be allowed to remain a tyrant, be he family or not.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/26/2013 8:43:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I then spent a lovely Christmas with my aunt, who was "sitting" for my grandfather. It touched me, somewhat. It was still absolute nonsense, though.

See, I'm fair.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/26/2013 8:44:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Read a whole load of Nietzsche too, and he thinks you're a retard, YYW --what's up with that?
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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12/28/2013 12:39:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/26/2013 11:28:10 AM, YYW wrote:
Do you like conflict? Are you more inclined to run from conflict or are you more the type to stand and fight? How do you respond when others make personal attacks against you? Would you rather be the kind of person who does something else?

I think it depends on the situation.. If someone is verbally attacking me I tend to become very defensive and kinda feisty. If it's a physical attack, well I've only encountered abuse type of attack before in which I became very passive about it for the longest time and now it's no prob except if you touch me beware! If it's drama or an uncomfortable situation I tend to run from it not even intentionally realizing either it at the moment of the prob, just happens though. I'd say I do more passivity when it comes to something most serious but if it's something I know I can handle well I'm open about it.
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
InvictusManeo
Posts: 384
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12/28/2013 1:15:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/26/2013 8:44:57 PM, AnDoctuir wrote:
Read a whole load of Nietzsche too, and he thinks you're a retard, YYW --what's up with that?

Hm, being a bit harsh on the ol' YYW these days are you?
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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12/28/2013 1:24:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/26/2013 2:41:13 PM, InvictusManeo wrote:
Two people arguing with 'facts' is like watching two blind people arguing about Van Gogh vs Picasso. They're both missing a crucial element. Perception. It is an exercise in futility.

A fact can have poor results
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
InvictusManeo
Posts: 384
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12/28/2013 1:27:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/28/2013 1:24:27 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/26/2013 2:41:13 PM, InvictusManeo wrote:
Two people arguing with 'facts' is like watching two blind people arguing about Van Gogh vs Picasso. They're both missing a crucial element. Perception. It is an exercise in futility.

A fact can have poor results

No doubt. Most arguments have poor results, too. Because what do we even know? Most of us just assume to know because we read a book, or a study, or we spent 4 years earning a degree based on what other people have purported to know, etc ad infinitum. The only way something should be argued is with a view to disprove it, not prove it. But that's harder to do for obvious reasons.

For the lay person that obvious reason is ego.
sadolite
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12/28/2013 1:28:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/28/2013 1:24:27 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/26/2013 2:41:13 PM, InvictusManeo wrote:
Two people arguing with 'facts' is like watching two blind people arguing about Van Gogh vs Picasso. They're both missing a crucial element. Perception. It is an exercise in futility.

A fact can have poor results

It is a fact that govt has spent trillions of dollars "giving" money to the poor. But it has had poor results getting people out of poverty or reducing the percentage of poor people.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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12/28/2013 2:08:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/28/2013 1:27:23 PM, InvictusManeo wrote:
At 12/28/2013 1:24:27 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/26/2013 2:41:13 PM, InvictusManeo wrote:
Two people arguing with 'facts' is like watching two blind people arguing about Van Gogh vs Picasso. They're both missing a crucial element. Perception. It is an exercise in futility.

Do you mean "perspective"?

A fact can have poor results

No doubt. Most arguments have poor results, too. Because what do we even know? Most of us just assume to know because we read a book, or a study, or we spent 4 years earning a degree based on what other people have purported to know, etc ad infinitum. The only way something should be argued is with a view to disprove it, not prove it. But that's harder to do for obvious reasons.

For the lay person that obvious reason is ego.

The problem with this is that in order to disprove something, there must be something that is ostensibly provable, and someone attempting to prove it.

In regards to the OP, conflict is pervasive, it's akin to asking "how do you react?"
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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12/28/2013 2:50:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
@AnDoctuir, Why do you hate people and God so much? I don't understand your character? Your so... Idk, aggressive... Why? ... I honestly wish I could help you, but knowing how you react, you'd probably wanna smash my face in just for wanting to help you... :(
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
phantom
Posts: 6,774
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12/28/2013 10:25:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/26/2013 11:28:10 AM, YYW wrote:
Do you like conflict? Are you more inclined to run from conflict or are you more the type to stand and fight? How do you respond when others make personal attacks against you? Would you rather be the kind of person who does something else?

If it's personal, I avoid it. Haven't been in many potential physical conflicts, so I couldn't really say there. If it's something intellectual that I know a bit about, or if someone says something I find flat-out wrong, I'll pursue it. Otherwise, I'm usually a conflict avoider (no spell check, I refuse to believe "avoider" is not a word).
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
YYW
Posts: 36,289
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12/29/2013 1:44:10 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
For me, it depends on the nature and extent of the conflict and how I'm feeing at the time it occurs. Usually, I don't give a sh!t so I'll just let it go. If it's a personal attack against me, I don't really care most of the time and I do not respond. If it's a personal attack against a friend of mine or a family member, I'm very likely to respond to that in some way, though, because I do care in that case. I also tend to be the kind to intervene when a larger power is hurting an innocent party -though the nature of the harm in that case is what is most likely to determine if I get involved. For example, if someone who is gay that's being bullied, then I'll fight almost every time and I'm very likely retaliate to the point that I take the offense.

I don't really think of intellectual jousting as conflict, though. I suppose in a literal sense it is, but it's not personal unless the nature of one of the parties conflicts with my values. For example, if someone lies/bullsh!ts in any event, I am almost invariably going to call them out every time I see it because I value intellectual honesty. I also value intellectual exchange, where ideas that conflict can be professionally discussed without people -who are more or less intimidated or outwitted- taking intense argument as a personal attack. That's stupid, juvenile and a poor reflection of character. However, that's not as maddening as willfully misinterpreting what someone said. But those are only a few examples... again, the nature and extent of the conflict as well as how I am feeling at a given time are the most likely factors that dictate how I react to any given conflict.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
Posts: 36,289
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12/29/2013 1:46:44 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/28/2013 10:25:16 PM, phantom wrote:
At 12/26/2013 11:28:10 AM, YYW wrote:
Do you like conflict? Are you more inclined to run from conflict or are you more the type to stand and fight? How do you respond when others make personal attacks against you? Would you rather be the kind of person who does something else?

If it's personal, I avoid it.

I'm the opposite. If it's personal, I run right into it -but it's very, very rarely personal for me. For example, a personal attack on me (calling me names, or something directed at me, personally) I'm likely to let go. If it's an attack on one of my friends or a family member, I'm likely to retaliate more or less proportionally.

Haven't been in many potential physical conflicts, so I couldn't really say there.

I think that's probably a good thing.

If it's something intellectual that I know a bit about, or if someone says something I find flat-out wrong, I'll pursue it. Otherwise, I'm usually a conflict avoider (no spell check, I refuse to believe "avoider" is not a word).
Tsar of DDO
imabench
Posts: 21,219
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12/29/2013 2:14:42 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/26/2013 11:28:10 AM, YYW wrote:
Do you like conflict?

It's a guilty pleasure of mine, yes

Are you more inclined to run from conflict or are you more the type to stand and fight?

Definitely stand and fight

How do you respond when others make personal attacks against you?

Usually sling it right back at them and continue to do so until they crawl away in defeat

Would you rather be the kind of person who does something else?

TBH no, but I will if it becomes an issue
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
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VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,219
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12/29/2013 2:19:24 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/28/2013 2:50:14 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
@AnDoctuir, Why do you hate people and God so much? I don't understand your character? Your so... Idk, aggressive... Why?

Well, its becausw He's a massive idiot who thinks he's greater than Ghandi, but everyone else on here knows he's just a massive idiot.... He posts multiple times in threads for attention and makes up absurd a** stories like he one above to try to give off the impression that he's not the pathetic loser that others see him as.
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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12/29/2013 10:34:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/29/2013 2:19:24 AM, imabench wrote:
At 12/28/2013 2:50:14 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
@AnDoctuir, Why do you hate people and God so much? I don't understand your character? Your so... Idk, aggressive... Why?

Well, its becausw He's a massive idiot who thinks he's greater than Ghandi, but everyone else on here knows he's just a massive idiot.... He posts multiple times in threads for attention and makes up absurd a** stories like he one above to try to give off the impression that he's not the pathetic loser that others see him as.

You don't like him very much I see... Usually there's a reason for someone's outbursts and/or behavior issues... In his case, I believe he's just trying to cover all that up with his behavior, judgmental calls, hate, anger, and cruelness behavior... I mean it's not anything that's too hard to deal with cause it's over te internet but, in person, now that's a different story... I've encountered some characters such as him, and yeah they're hard to deal with, but at the same time being understanding as to why thy are the way they are... Idk I just usually analyze a character because it would define them... If that makes sense?
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad