Total Posts:70|Showing Posts:1-30|Last Page
Jump to topic:

Guys need some advice...

GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
Apparelled
Posts: 19
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 4:50:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
First of all, a person can believe they are one thing and act another way.
Second, if these traits are something that you cannot get used to, don't expect it to ever change.
Third, if you like him then take a chance regardless of what other people say. Only you have to internally deal with the consequences of a choice you make. So what bothers you more. Not taking the chance and always wondering. Or taking a chance and it doesn't work out.
Fourth, if you do not have a strong personality and find it extremely hard to get out of a relationship for whatever reason, it probably isn't a good idea to start one that you are not sure about.
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 4:53:54 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Sounds like a bad idea. In the geographic region you're in, there's a certain stereotype that he seems to fit into.

If you don't like how he's acting, then he's probably not "dating" material, because you don't like how he's acting.
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 4:56:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:50:13 PM, Apparelled wrote:
First of all, a person can believe they are one thing and act another way.
Second, if these traits are something that you cannot get used to, don't expect it to ever change.
Third, if you like him then take a chance regardless of what other people say. Only you have to internally deal with the consequences of a choice you make. So what bothers you more. Not taking the chance and always wondering. Or taking a chance and it doesn't work out.
Fourth, if you do not have a strong personality and find it extremely hard to get out of a relationship for whatever reason, it probably isn't a good idea to start one that you are not sure about.

That's the thing, I don't wanna get in a relationship with him... I don't mind talking to him, but i don't like the idea or thought of him getting all jealous just I talk to other people besides him... So, what I was asking, what should I do about it? Approach him? Or just blow it off and not necessarily avoid him but don't talk to him too much, which I already don't as it is.
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 4:58:04 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

I understand exactly what you mean.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.

I didn't know that about you, but it was helpful regardless. Thanks. Appreciate your input.
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:00:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:53:54 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Sounds like a bad idea. In the geographic region you're in, there's a certain stereotype that he seems to fit into.

If you don't like how he's acting, then he's probably not "dating" material, because you don't like how he's acting.

Thank you. Yeah, I don't date though. I just wanna know what I could do to avoid another guy that could build obsession problems. It's happened in the past... Don't like that.. I usually tend to be quiet about things like this, but I don't want to this time..
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:58:04 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

I understand exactly what you mean.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.

I didn't know that about you, but it was helpful regardless. Thanks. Appreciate your input.

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.

Glad I could help!
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
YYW
Posts: 36,263
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:03:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

There are very few adolescent boys/young men that understand how to treat women. My guess is that if he's doing something inappropriately misogynistic, he may be doing it either without realizing what he's doing is bad and probably because he thinks it's what's expected from adolescent males. You should talk to him about it, tell him what he's doing, and why it's not ok.

I would be very curious to know what he's doing that made you think that he expects your attention. I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just interested in knowing what that behavior is.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl?

If you like him and feel comfortable talking with him, then go out with him. If you don't, then break it off. Just be clear about what you're doing. Most guys are stupid and don't know how to interpret what girls' (or whoever they're romantically interested in) actions mean, so just tell him. You'll both feel better about it, that way.

Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Guys get jealous when girls they're interested in talk to other people. It's just something that happens. On the one hand, it means he cares about you, but on the other hand, if it gets out of proportion, then it's something you need to talk to him about.
Tsar of DDO
Apparelled
Posts: 19
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:10:25 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Well, it takes some people many years to conclude it is ok not to like a person. To approach him and request of him not to act like a tool would seem like the appropriate approach, but truthfully it would cause more harm. People don't like being called out. The best approach is to avoid him if possible, and if he continues to pester you with his presence politely Let him know that you would rather not hang out as you have a personality clash. But you should definitely not try to socialize with this person anymore, and do not attack his character as he will only attack back. And at least if you take the high road and he does not reciprocate with such, you will be able to sleep at night knowing you're the better person.
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:13:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:10:25 PM, Apparelled wrote:
Well, it takes some people many years to conclude it is ok not to like a person. To approach him and request of him not to act like a tool would seem like the appropriate approach, but truthfully it would cause more harm. People don't like being called out. The best approach is to avoid him if possible, and if he continues to pester you with his presence politely Let him know that you would rather not hang out as you have a personality clash. But you should definitely not try to socialize with this person anymore, and do not attack his character as he will only attack back. And at least if you take the high road and he does not reciprocate with such, you will be able to sleep at night knowing you're the better person.

No, I didn't mean approach of what I'm seeing cause yeah that would def set him off... Been there, done that... But yeah, that sounds better just letting him know that I don't wanna hang... And yeah, I know how to avoid if I have to but not in a demeaning way.. Thanks for the words..
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:14:40 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:58:04 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

I understand exactly what you mean.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.

I didn't know that about you, but it was helpful regardless. Thanks. Appreciate your input.

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.

Umm, I don't get it?


Glad I could help!

)
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:16:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:14:40 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:58:04 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

I understand exactly what you mean.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.

I didn't know that about you, but it was helpful regardless. Thanks. Appreciate your input.

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.

Umm, I don't get it?

I have only told people on DDO that I'm gay. No one in real life knows.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:28:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:03:07 PM, YYW wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

There are very few adolescent boys/young men that understand how to treat women. My guess is that if he's doing something inappropriately misogynistic, he may be doing it either without realizing what he's doing is bad and probably because he thinks it's what's expected from adolescent males. You should talk to him about it, tell him what he's doing, and why it's not ok.

Yeah, I think I've seen differences... But because I'm soooo analytical it's hard for me to trust... If you understand?

I would be very curious to know what he's doing that made you think that he expects your attention. I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just interested in knowing what that behavior is.

Today, he was with a friend and I said hello cause he always says I never say hi.. So outta pure politeness I said hello... Then he Asks if he can talk ... I hesitantly said ok only cause I kinda felt obligated while waitin for my mom to come pick me up.. And then I asked his friend how his gf is doing cause she and I would talk from time to time last semester ... And the whole time his friends telling me how she's doing and all he was giving me this look and then would get up walk away and then come back... By that point cause he left and his friend was still sitting there kept talking and then telling me about his testimony in God and all that.. Then after his friend was done I looked at him and tried to make conversation cause that's what he had asked from the start and he was being really ugly to me or just completely ignore me and started talking to his friend... Idk, it was weird and I really felt uncomfortable the whole time... Other times besides today when he's approached me, he knows I don't hug and yet still hugs me anyways... Or has tried holding my hand or just follow me around.., It's creepy... 0_o

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl?

If you like him and feel comfortable talking with him, then go out with him. If you don't, then break it off. Just be clear about what you're doing. Most guys are stupid and don't know how to interpret what girls' (or whoever they're romantically interested in) actions mean, so just tell him. You'll both feel better about it, that way.

No, I don't like him like that...I don't mind talking to people, but it's when they start acting like that is when I have a problem...

Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Guys get jealous when girls they're interested in talk to other people. It's just something that happens. On the one hand, it means he cares about you, but on the other hand, if it gets out of proportion, then it's something you need to talk to him about.

But, why do guys get jealous? That's something I never understand...
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:29:47 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:16:00 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:14:40 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:58:04 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

I understand exactly what you mean.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.

I didn't know that about you, but it was helpful regardless. Thanks. Appreciate your input.

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.

Umm, I don't get it?

I have only told people on DDO that I'm gay. No one in real life knows.

Oh? Well, this is the first time you've told me then cause I thought you were a straight person this whole time.. But I guess it makes sense now ...
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
DudeStop
Posts: 1,278
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:30:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

I thought you were "Single and satisfied"...

But I would think (Or rather know) that all of us have some sort of baggage if you will.

Personally, I have no problems with those traits!

You should also realize that he may have things to say about you that make the problems you have with him seem petty.

I don't see a problem with being with one of the opposite gender...
DudeStop
Posts: 1,278
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:32:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:30:27 PM, DudeStop wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

I thought you were "Single and satisfied"...

But I would think (Or rather know) that all of us have some sort of baggage if you will.

Personally, I have no problems with those traits!

You should also realize that he may have things to say about you that make the problems you have with him seem petty.

I don't see a problem with being with one of the opposite gender...

Well, depending what he said about women.
Apparelled
Posts: 19
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:40:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
But, why do guys get jealous? That's something I never understand...

Jealously is not unique to males or females. Have you not ever experienced it, like when someone other than you is given/wins something that you didn't ?

Not many people are aware when an emotion takes control of them, with perhaps the exception of love. Everyone knows it when they are I love.
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:41:53 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:29:47 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:16:00 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:14:40 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:58:04 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:48:41 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

That type of behavior is not okay. Period. Respect is something both people in a relationship (whether it's a work relationship, friendship, romance, etc.) have a duty to give one another.

I understand exactly what you mean.

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Yeah...I'm gay, so I'm not sure how useful my advice is. But, my suggestion would be to ask him to respect you more fully as a person, and, if he doesn't, end your association with him.

I didn't know that about you, but it was helpful regardless. Thanks. Appreciate your input.

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.

Umm, I don't get it?

I have only told people on DDO that I'm gay. No one in real life knows.

Oh? Well, this is the first time you've told me then cause I thought you were a straight person this whole time.. But I guess it makes sense now ...

I'm sorry. I honestly thought you knew...
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 5:56:51 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:30:27 PM, DudeStop wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

I thought you were "Single and satisfied"...

But I would think (Or rather know) that all of us have some sort of baggage if you will.

Personally, I have no problems with those traits!

You should also realize that he may have things to say about you that make the problems you have with him seem petty.

I don't see a problem with being with one of the opposite gender...

Uhhhhhh,,, what are you talking about?
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:04:50 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:00:21 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:53:54 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Sounds like a bad idea. In the geographic region you're in, there's a certain stereotype that he seems to fit into.

If you don't like how he's acting, then he's probably not "dating" material, because you don't like how he's acting.

Thank you. Yeah, I don't date though.

Like, at all? I thought you were asking in terms of should you be dating this person.

I just wanna know what I could do to avoid another guy that could build obsession problems. It's happened in the past... Don't like that.. I usually tend to be quiet about things like this, but I don't want to this time..

If you're single and straight, but you don't date at all, then it's gonna be tough, because the first sign of interest might be "Welp, this guy's gonna be a creeper" or it might be "This guy doesn't know I don't date, and is interested in me". Very tough for you, I wager.
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
PotBelliedGeek
Posts: 4,298
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:07:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Red flags all the way. Especially the "women" comments and the jealousy.
Religion Forum Ambassador

HUFFLEPUFF FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:07:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.

I believe I've heard you say this before, and I believe you've explained your reasons, which aren't any o' my gorram bidness anyway, but on the one hand, I'm glad there's a place you can be comfortable as out, and on the other, it makes me sad that there's ONLY one place...
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:09:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 6:07:58 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:

Lol...yeah. I'm only out on DDO.


I believe I've heard you say this before, and I believe you've explained your reasons, which aren't any o' my gorram bidness anyway, but on the one hand, I'm glad there's a place you can be comfortable as out, and on the other, it makes me sad that there's ONLY one place...

Yeah...it's rather conflicting. I am out to some IRL friends, but not many. DDO provides a level of anonymity that makes me feel more comfortable with it. Plus, I haven't been gay-bashed yet, so that's nice.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:17:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 6:04:50 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:21 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:53:54 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Sounds like a bad idea. In the geographic region you're in, there's a certain stereotype that he seems to fit into.

If you don't like how he's acting, then he's probably not "dating" material, because you don't like how he's acting.

Thank you. Yeah, I don't date though.

Like, at all? I thought you were asking in terms of should you be dating this person.
Yeah, no... Maybe I should've clarified myself better because that's what everyone is thinking so far... I'm asking if I should continue trying to be a friend to him?

I just wanna know what I could do to avoid another guy that could build obsession problems. It's happened in the past... Don't like that.. I usually tend to be quiet about things like this, but I don't want to this time..

If you're single and straight, but you don't date at all, then it's gonna be tough, because the first sign of interest might be "Welp, this guy's gonna be a creeper" or it might be "This guy doesn't know I don't date, and is interested in me". Very tough for you, I wager.

I've dated guys before, don't get me wrong,me I just strongly believe dating is a waste of time... You can learn a lot about a person just being friends or associate... Romance IMO should never be implemented unless your married again just my opinion... And well, maybe it will be tough for me... But personally I kinda don't care too much, I just wanna be careful if you will in whom I pick as my friends... And I don't want guys to think cause I talk to them that I like them either...
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:29:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 6:17:17 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 6:04:50 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:21 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:53:54 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Sounds like a bad idea. In the geographic region you're in, there's a certain stereotype that he seems to fit into.

If you don't like how he's acting, then he's probably not "dating" material, because you don't like how he's acting.

Thank you. Yeah, I don't date though.

Like, at all? I thought you were asking in terms of should you be dating this person.
Yeah, no... Maybe I should've clarified myself better because that's what everyone is thinking so far... I'm asking if I should continue trying to be a friend to him?

I just wanna know what I could do to avoid another guy that could build obsession problems. It's happened in the past... Don't like that.. I usually tend to be quiet about things like this, but I don't want to this time..

If you're single and straight, but you don't date at all, then it's gonna be tough, because the first sign of interest might be "Welp, this guy's gonna be a creeper" or it might be "This guy doesn't know I don't date, and is interested in me". Very tough for you, I wager.

I've dated guys before, don't get me wrong,me I just strongly believe dating is a waste of time... You can learn a lot about a person just being friends or associate... Romance IMO should never be implemented unless your married again just my opinion...

I find that very strange, to be honest. How can you know who you want to date or marry if you do no dating of any kind beforehand? But whatevs, it's your call.

And well, maybe it will be tough for me... But personally I kinda don't care too much, I just wanna be careful if you will in whom I pick as my friends... And I don't want guys to think cause I talk to them that I like them either...

Well, you have an unusual system, not that there's anything wrong with that...but how clear are you to folks and friends about it?
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
YYW
Posts: 36,263
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:38:37 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 5:28:34 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:03:07 PM, YYW wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

There are very few adolescent boys/young men that understand how to treat women. My guess is that if he's doing something inappropriately misogynistic, he may be doing it either without realizing what he's doing is bad and probably because he thinks it's what's expected from adolescent males. You should talk to him about it, tell him what he's doing, and why it's not ok.

Yeah, I think I've seen differences... But because I'm soooo analytical it's hard for me to trust... If you understand?

I understand, but, like Bsh1, I'm also gay so I both have the advantage of truly being impartial here, while still understanding how guys think.


I would be very curious to know what he's doing that made you think that he expects your attention. I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just interested in knowing what that behavior is.

Today, he was with a friend and I said hello cause he always says I never say hi.. So outta pure politeness I said hello... Then he Asks if he can talk ... I hesitantly said ok only cause I kinda felt obligated while waitin for my mom to come pick me up.. And then I asked his friend how his gf is doing cause she and I would talk from time to time last semester ... And the whole time his friends telling me how she's doing and all he was giving me this look and then would get up walk away and then come back... By that point cause he left and his friend was still sitting there kept talking and then telling me about his testimony in God and all that.. Then after his friend was done I looked at him and tried to make conversation cause that's what he had asked from the start and he was being really ugly to me or just completely ignore me and started talking to his friend...

Well, he probably is jealous, as guys are when their friends are getting attention from girls that they like.

Idk, it was weird and I really felt uncomfortable the whole time... Other times besides today when he's approached me, he knows I don't hug and yet still hugs me anyways...

He may not understand what "I don't hug" means, or he might take it like a challenge... just tell him what's up.

Or has tried holding my hand or just follow me around.., It's creepy... 0_o

So, it's obvious that he likes you. If you like him, then see where it goes. If not, then be clear that you're not interested.


Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl?

If you like him and feel comfortable talking with him, then go out with him. If you don't, then break it off. Just be clear about what you're doing. Most guys are stupid and don't know how to interpret what girls' (or whoever they're romantically interested in) actions mean, so just tell him. You'll both feel better about it, that way.

No, I don't like him like that...I don't mind talking to people, but it's when they start acting like that is when I have a problem...

You need to let this boy know you're not interested, otherwise he is going to continue to act like that, I think.


Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Guys get jealous when girls they're interested in talk to other people. It's just something that happens. On the one hand, it means he cares about you, but on the other hand, if it gets out of proportion, then it's something you need to talk to him about.

But, why do guys get jealous? That's something I never understand...

lol... it's simple. For the same reason you would be jealous if a guy you liked and was "talking to" started paying more attention to one of your friends than to you. Guys just express jealousy in a different way than girls do.
Tsar of DDO
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:39:22 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 6:29:23 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 6:17:17 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 6:04:50 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:00:21 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:53:54 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Sounds like a bad idea. In the geographic region you're in, there's a certain stereotype that he seems to fit into.

If you don't like how he's acting, then he's probably not "dating" material, because you don't like how he's acting.

Thank you. Yeah, I don't date though.

Like, at all? I thought you were asking in terms of should you be dating this person.
Yeah, no... Maybe I should've clarified myself better because that's what everyone is thinking so far... I'm asking if I should continue trying to be a friend to him?

I just wanna know what I could do to avoid another guy that could build obsession problems. It's happened in the past... Don't like that.. I usually tend to be quiet about things like this, but I don't want to this time..

If you're single and straight, but you don't date at all, then it's gonna be tough, because the first sign of interest might be "Welp, this guy's gonna be a creeper" or it might be "This guy doesn't know I don't date, and is interested in me". Very tough for you, I wager.

I've dated guys before, don't get me wrong,me I just strongly believe dating is a waste of time... You can learn a lot about a person just being friends or associate... Romance IMO should never be implemented unless your married again just my opinion...

I find that very strange, to be honest. How can you know who you want to date or marry if you do no dating of any kind beforehand? But whatevs, it's your call.

I always get the same questions... But anyways... That's besides the point...

And well, maybe it will be tough for me... But personally I kinda don't care too much, I just wanna be careful if you will in whom I pick as my friends... And I don't want guys to think cause I talk to them that I like them either...

Well, you have an unusual system, not that there's anything wrong with that...but how clear are you to folks and friends about it?

Thanks? I think?..... I'm very open about what I believe and hold to.... 98% of them react as you did to my beliefs (except for my immediate family, and friends from church they for some reason admire me)?... It's fine, but I'll just say this, when you've dealt with certain things I've dealt with you learn to be more aware, careful, cautious, analytical and learned... And definitely not to be too trusting (trusting at all) ... When I do see I can trust you (generally) I begin to trust... There are some guys I can say I trust even here on DDO (they know who they are)... But it really does take a lot for me to trust... So you could say I have trust issues... (Obviously) ... But I'm always open to learning about people... That's how can know if I see myself marrying a guy or not... I don't look at marriage as a simple thing... Not to say you do or nothing.., so yeah... Thanks for the questions and your words...
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:46:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 6:38:37 PM, YYW wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:28:34 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 1/28/2014 5:03:07 PM, YYW wrote:
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

There are very few adolescent boys/young men that understand how to treat women. My guess is that if he's doing something inappropriately misogynistic, he may be doing it either without realizing what he's doing is bad and probably because he thinks it's what's expected from adolescent males. You should talk to him about it, tell him what he's doing, and why it's not ok.

Yeah, I think I've seen differences... But because I'm soooo analytical it's hard for me to trust... If you understand?

I understand, but, like Bsh1, I'm also gay so I both have the advantage of truly being impartial here, while still understanding how guys think.

I actually knew you were... You've openly shared on ddo... I hadn't seen bsh1 voice it though is why I didn't know about him... But your a guy still and know how one thinks... Right?


I would be very curious to know what he's doing that made you think that he expects your attention. I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just interested in knowing what that behavior is.

Today, he was with a friend and I said hello cause he always says I never say hi.. So outta pure politeness I said hello... Then he Asks if he can talk ... I hesitantly said ok only cause I kinda felt obligated while waitin for my mom to come pick me up.. And then I asked his friend how his gf is doing cause she and I would talk from time to time last semester ... And the whole time his friends telling me how she's doing and all he was giving me this look and then would get up walk away and then come back... By that point cause he left and his friend was still sitting there kept talking and then telling me about his testimony in God and all that.. Then after his friend was done I looked at him and tried to make conversation cause that's what he had asked from the start and he was being really ugly to me or just completely ignore me and started talking to his friend...

Well, he probably is jealous, as guys are when their friends are getting attention from girls that they like.

Idk, it was weird and I really felt uncomfortable the whole time... Other times besides today when he's approached me, he knows I don't hug and yet still hugs me anyways...

He may not understand what "I don't hug" means, or he might take it like a challenge... just tell him what's up.

Interesting... I'm told I'm a challenging girl before by many guys.., so that might be the case then..

Or has tried holding my hand or just follow me around.., It's creepy... 0_o

So, it's obvious that he likes you. If you like him, then see where it goes. If not, then be clear that you're not interested.


Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl?

If you like him and feel comfortable talking with him, then go out with him. If you don't, then break it off. Just be clear about what you're doing. Most guys are stupid and don't know how to interpret what girls' (or whoever they're romantically interested in) actions mean, so just tell him. You'll both feel better about it, that way.

No, I don't like him like that...I don't mind talking to people, but it's when they start acting like that is when I have a problem...

You need to let this boy know you're not interested, otherwise he is going to continue to act like that, I think.

Alright, will do.


Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Guys get jealous when girls they're interested in talk to other people. It's just something that happens. On the one hand, it means he cares about you, but on the other hand, if it gets out of proportion, then it's something you need to talk to him about.

But, why do guys get jealous? That's something I never understand...

lol... it's simple. For the same reason you would be jealous if a guy you liked and was "talking to" started paying more attention to one of your friends than to you. Guys just express jealousy in a different way than girls do.

Um, I've never experienced that even when I used to date... Lol but I guess I understand..
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
kawaii_crazy
Posts: 580
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
1/28/2014 6:51:38 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/28/2014 4:29:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Since y'all are guys, and I'm a girl... Y'all can maybe decide this or not...

If a guy tell me that he likes me, (in person) and says he's not a "sweet" talker or doesn't get mad easily, says he wants to talk to me and all that.. He says he's Christian, buuuut he curses and talks about girls in a kinda degrading way and says jokes that are inappropriate and then expects me to laugh at em.. Apologizes wayyyyy to much and then expects my attention..

Most of y'all know that I'm a friendly person and talk to just about anyone even if we have side differences.. And that I don't date.. And okay, what kinda guy would you say he is? I have my suspicions, and all.. But I wanna I guess be sure.. And what would y'all recommend I do as the girl? Cause like today it seemed to me that he was jealous that I was just having a small conversation with his friend about God.. And what not.. Jut met his friend today only cause I was asking about his girlfriend who I happen to know and talk to.. So yeah.. Advice? Words? Would be helpful .. Girls can give input if you wish, but it'd make more sense coming from a guys perespective..

Guys get jealous once in a while. So what? But if this dude gets jealous too easily or too often, that is not something I would like about anyone. And BS1 is right, respect is key in a relationship. A guy says a few bad jokes, okay. Makes a mistake and apologizes, okay. But he does a bunch of things and then expects you to forgive and talks badly about girls? Thats not good Marie!
"Being called weird is like being called Limited Edition. Meaning you're something people don't see that often." -Ashley Purdy

Please help raise money for a Christmas gift for airmax (although he is Jewish, as YYW pointed out). He is in desperate need of a new laptop, and he has done so much for this site; he certainly deserves one. :)
http://www.debate.org...