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Social Anxiety

n7
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4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Anyone else here have social anxiety?
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Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
R0b1Billion
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4/3/2014 3:41:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Everybody does to some extent.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
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n7
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4/3/2014 5:28:19 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 3:41:10 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
Everybody does to some extent.

Not as bad as some people.
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Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
philochristos
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4/3/2014 9:11:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

Yes. It is quite the drag.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
n7
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4/3/2014 9:58:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 9:11:05 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

Yes. It is quite the drag.

I didn't know you had SA. How bad is it?
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Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
philochristos
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4/3/2014 10:11:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 9:58:46 PM, n7 wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:11:05 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

Yes. It is quite the drag.

I didn't know you had SA. How bad is it?

It is pretty bad. I've read books and been to counselors about it, but nothing seemed to help. It's affected just about every aspect of my life--both personal and professional. I have gotten to where I can fake my way through situations, though, as long as I don't have an actual anxiety attack.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
Subutai
Posts: 3,253
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4/3/2014 10:11:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

It's very dependent on the situation. In some instances, I'm very cool and collected, while in others, I'm extremely nervous. The latter usually when I'm meeting new people or something important.
I'm becoming less defined as days go by, fading away, and well you might say, I'm losing focus, kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.
n7
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4/3/2014 10:18:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 10:11:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:58:46 PM, n7 wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:11:05 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

Yes. It is quite the drag.

I didn't know you had SA. How bad is it?

It is pretty bad. I've read books and been to counselors about it, but nothing seemed to help. It's affected just about every aspect of my life--both personal and professional. I have gotten to where I can fake my way through situations, though, as long as I don't have an actual anxiety attack.

I haven't had it treated, but it does affect me. I've only had an anxiety attack a few times, but if few people notice me I can get by with a few short words or sentences.
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
philochristos
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4/3/2014 10:28:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 10:18:20 PM, n7 wrote:
At 4/3/2014 10:11:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:58:46 PM, n7 wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:11:05 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

Yes. It is quite the drag.

I didn't know you had SA. How bad is it?

It is pretty bad. I've read books and been to counselors about it, but nothing seemed to help. It's affected just about every aspect of my life--both personal and professional. I have gotten to where I can fake my way through situations, though, as long as I don't have an actual anxiety attack.

I haven't had it treated, but it does affect me. I've only had an anxiety attack a few times, but if few people notice me I can get by with a few short words or sentences.

The only thing that ever really helped me was to play a game.

People used to be put off by me. I would try so hard to stay calm and collected, that I'd come across as cold and even rude sometimes. People complained about me when I used to work at a hotel during college. I decided if I just start being open about my social anxiety, people would be more understanding. But what I discovered is that people don't like people with social anxiety. Especially girls. So I decided telling people about my social anxiety wasn't such a good idea after all.

I met this girl a few years ago and decided I would play a game. I wanted to try to make her think I was this really confident guy and see if I could pull it off. So I went into it as if I was acting. I could do it in short bursts, but it became more difficult if the conversation went on too long.

I would force myself into situations and act as bold as I possibly could. I remember this one time she had joined a triathlon team, and she was volunteering at a triathlon. She pointed out her friends (an all female team), and I decided to walk right into the crowd of them, introduce myself, and ask them questions about themselves. I was as upbeat as I could be, got a picture of them, and got out of there. Apparently, it made a very good impression on them, because my friend told me they really liked me. I met some of other other friends from a meet up group and made a good impression on them as well.

Then one day (St. Patrick's Day, 2011), my friend and I went to Opal Divine's to eat and listen to music. I had a little bit to drink and let slip that I had social anxiety. I cringed as soon as I said it until she said, "How did you get over it?" Then I knew I had her fooled. I told her I just got to the point of being sick of living that way and said, "Screw it! I'm not going to live like this anymore."

A few months later, i started noticing that a lot of the fear had gone away, and I wasn't really faking it anymore. I actually looked forward to mingling with people, and it was very liberating.

But after I stopped doing triathlons and hanging out with those people, all the social anxiety came back, and now I'm pretty much where I was before. But at least I know what to do the next time I muster the energy to do it.

That's just the thing, though. I can work up the energy to act as if I"m not dying on the inside for short periods of time, and somewhat overcome my fears, but I can't sustain it. It's exhausting.

And besides that, I'm kind of a weird guy. And it's not just my internal negative voice saying that either. Lots of people have told me that. A lot of people find me off-putting, and I'm not sure exactly why, and a big part of me doesn't have much desire to change. I mean I'd like to change the fact that I'm socially awkward, but I have no desire to change whatever it is that's so weird about me. I just want everybody else to stop being so uptight about it.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
emospongebob527
Posts: 790
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4/3/2014 10:34:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 10:28:07 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 10:18:20 PM, n7 wrote:
At 4/3/2014 10:11:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:58:46 PM, n7 wrote:
At 4/3/2014 9:11:05 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

Yes. It is quite the drag.

I didn't know you had SA. How bad is it?

It is pretty bad. I've read books and been to counselors about it, but nothing seemed to help. It's affected just about every aspect of my life--both personal and professional. I have gotten to where I can fake my way through situations, though, as long as I don't have an actual anxiety attack.

I haven't had it treated, but it does affect me. I've only had an anxiety attack a few times, but if few people notice me I can get by with a few short words or sentences.

The only thing that ever really helped me was to play a game.

People used to be put off by me. I would try so hard to stay calm and collected, that I'd come across as cold and even rude sometimes. People complained about me when I used to work at a hotel during college. I decided if I just start being open about my social anxiety, people would be more understanding. But what I discovered is that people don't like people with social anxiety. Especially girls. So I decided telling people about my social anxiety wasn't such a good idea after all.

I met this girl a few years ago and decided I would play a game. I wanted to try to make her think I was this really confident guy and see if I could pull it off. So I went into it as if I was acting. I could do it in short bursts, but it became more difficult if the conversation went on too long.

I would force myself into situations and act as bold as I possibly could. I remember this one time she had joined a triathlon team, and she was volunteering at a triathlon. She pointed out her friends (an all female team), and I decided to walk right into the crowd of them, introduce myself, and ask them questions about themselves. I was as upbeat as I could be, got a picture of them, and got out of there. Apparently, it made a very good impression on them, because my friend told me they really liked me. I met some of other other friends from a meet up group and made a good impression on them as well.

Then one day (St. Patrick's Day, 2011), my friend and I went to Opal Divine's to eat and listen to music. I had a little bit to drink and let slip that I had social anxiety. I cringed as soon as I said it until she said, "How did you get over it?" Then I knew I had her fooled. I told her I just got to the point of being sick of living that way and said, "Screw it! I'm not going to live like this anymore."

A few months later, i started noticing that a lot of the fear had gone away, and I wasn't really faking it anymore. I actually looked forward to mingling with people, and it was very liberating.

But after I stopped doing triathlons and hanging out with those people, all the social anxiety came back, and now I'm pretty much where I was before. But at least I know what to do the next time I muster the energy to do it.

That's just the thing, though. I can work up the energy to act as if I"m not dying on the inside for short periods of time, and somewhat overcome my fears, but I can't sustain it. It's exhausting.

And besides that, I'm kind of a weird guy. And it's not just my internal negative voice saying that either. Lots of people have told me that. A lot of people find me off-putting, and I'm not sure exactly why, and a big part of me doesn't have much desire to change. I mean I'd like to change the fact that I'm socially awkward, but I have no desire to change whatever it is that's so weird about me. I just want everybody else to stop being so uptight about it.

Sorry, philo. :/
"not to toot my own horn (it aint need no tooin if u know what im saying), but my writings on "viciousness: the one true viture (fancy spelling for virtue)" and my poem "A poem I wrote about DDO" put me in a class of my damn own. im just an UNRECONGIZED geniuse" -bananafana
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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4/4/2014 4:12:12 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I have huge problems with this myself. I find that alcohol helps immensely in social situations.
vinter
Posts: 5
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4/4/2014 6:36:09 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Some days worse than others. I try to be better at laughing at myself, which helps. Also if I'm too paranoid I try to remember that I'm actually thinking too highly of myself. Paranoia is megalomania in disguise, fantasies about relevance. People are usually to preoccupied with themselves and their own problems to notice yours. Usually i just brave it through, in a pinch alcohol or barbiturates are helpful. Everyone has something to bear.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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4/4/2014 6:59:09 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I just finished this video when I clicked on this thread. Interesting.
DRUG HARM: http://imgur.com...
Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Kawurairee
Posts: 21
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4/4/2014 9:20:48 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 1:46:43 PM, n7 wrote:
Anyone else here have social anxiety?

What people like you need to realise is that the more you worry about doing it right, the less likely you are to do it right.
Zenol
Posts: 1
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4/4/2014 10:56:20 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I had SA a couple of years ago, but now it's almost completely non-existent. What helped me the most was just doing stuff I was afraid to do and be more social with people. It's very difficult the first couple of times, but it's definitively worth it cuz you will really improve yourself after some time and become less of a SA person. I'm of course only speaking from my experience now, but it is a common knowledge that doing stuff you are afraid to do and just talking to people which is something which most if not all SA people are afraid to do can and will probably improve your SA problem quite a lot.
n7
Posts: 1,360
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4/4/2014 11:42:39 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/4/2014 4:12:12 AM, Wylted wrote:
I have huge problems with this myself. I find that alcohol helps immensely in social situations.

Haha, yes. But there is a connection between SA and problem drinking

http://www.psychologytoday.com...

My dad was an alcoholic, maybe he had SA.
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
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4/4/2014 10:50:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/4/2014 4:12:12 AM, Wylted wrote:
I have huge problems with this myself. I find that alcohol helps immensely in social situations.

Yikes, I have social anxiety too horribly, but please don't become an alcoholic like I once was. I don't want people to have to go through what I did.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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4/5/2014 1:44:06 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I'm just addicted to pizza rolls and informational murder porn. I don't intend to add alcohol to my list of addictions anytime soon.
rross
Posts: 2,772
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4/5/2014 7:28:24 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/4/2014 4:12:12 AM, Wylted wrote:
I have huge problems with this myself. I find that alcohol helps immensely in social situations.

You know what might help? Maybe not saying that certain groups of people should be wiped from the face of the earth, or that people of particular nationalities don't deserve to live. I have no idea who you are, or what qualities you might have as a person, and you know what? I will never know now, because I couldn't care less. You should be anxious around other people if you're in the habit of saying sh1t like that.

http://www.debate.org...
Wylted
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4/5/2014 7:36:19 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/5/2014 7:28:24 AM, rross wrote:
At 4/4/2014 4:12:12 AM, Wylted wrote:
I have huge problems with this myself. I find that alcohol helps immensely in social situations.

You know what might help? Maybe not saying that certain groups of people should be wiped from the face of the earth, or that people of particular nationalities don't deserve to live. I have no idea who you are, or what qualities you might have as a person, and you know what? I will never know now, because I couldn't care less. You should be anxious around other people if you're in the habit of saying sh1t like that.

http://www.debate.org...

My ignorance isn't correlated with my social anxiety. You should know I at least back up those statements and don't cower from debating them.

http://www.debate.org...
n7
Posts: 1,360
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4/5/2014 9:10:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Cool, a new DDO rivalry is starting!
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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4/5/2014 9:36:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/5/2014 1:44:06 AM, Wylted wrote:
I'm just addicted to pizza rolls and informational murder porn. I don't intend to add alcohol to my list of addictions anytime soon.

Informational murder porn?!

http://makesmyheadspin.files.wordpress.com...
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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4/5/2014 9:43:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I never had it extremely bad but it was bad. The thing was I never really thought about what people would have thought about me/ judged me... I was just scared to be in front of people. I would walk in front of a group and feel all their eyes staring at me. I would instantly be confined to my own personal bubble, sometimes forming incoherent sentences. My face would get hot and I'd start to stammer and get dizzy.

I decided that if I want to become a lawyer I need to get over that. Therefore, I started putting myself in someone else's shoes. One time, I faked a British accent and pretended in my head that I was the Queen of England.

I still cannot speak very confidently in front of a crowd but I'm getting better. DDO has helped me in my "socializing" as I can talk to intelligent people here. In a real life scenario, once a guy walked up to me and tried to flirt with me (I'd known him for 7 years but hadn't spoken to him in a year because he moved) and I LITERALLY ran in the opposite direction DURING a competition. My father had his fill of laughter from that...
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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4/5/2014 11:29:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/5/2014 9:36:34 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 4/5/2014 1:44:06 AM, Wylted wrote:
I'm just addicted to pizza rolls and informational murder porn. I don't intend to add alcohol to my list of addictions anytime soon.

Informational murder porn?!

http://makesmyheadspin.files.wordpress.com...

Sound quality isn't that great, but this will help you understand what informational murder porn is.

http://m.youtube.com...
Jifpop09
Posts: 2,243
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4/5/2014 11:32:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/5/2014 11:29:35 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 4/5/2014 9:36:34 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 4/5/2014 1:44:06 AM, Wylted wrote:
I'm just addicted to pizza rolls and informational murder porn. I don't intend to add alcohol to my list of addictions anytime soon.

Informational murder porn?!

http://makesmyheadspin.files.wordpress.com...



Sound quality isn't that great, but this will help you understand what informational murder porn is.

http://youtube.com...
Leader of the DDO Revolution Party
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
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4/6/2014 7:54:01 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/5/2014 9:43:44 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I never had it extremely bad but it was bad. The thing was I never really thought about what people would have thought about me/ judged me... I was just scared to be in front of people. I would walk in front of a group and feel all their eyes staring at me. I would instantly be confined to my own personal bubble, sometimes forming incoherent sentences. My face would get hot and I'd start to stammer and get dizzy.

I decided that if I want to become a lawyer I need to get over that. Therefore, I started putting myself in someone else's shoes. One time, I faked a British accent and pretended in my head that I was the Queen of England.

I still cannot speak very confidently in front of a crowd but I'm getting better. DDO has helped me in my "socializing" as I can talk to intelligent people here. In a real life scenario, once a guy walked up to me and tried to flirt with me (I'd known him for 7 years but hadn't spoken to him in a year because he moved) and I LITERALLY ran in the opposite direction DURING a competition. My father had his fill of laughter from that...

Lol, that is too funny. I must say it is hard for me too. Like I stated before, I used to be an alcoholic because I believed it helped me socialize, but instead it made me worse. It turned me from introvert to extrovert and influenced me to do things I will regret the rest of my life.
XLAV
Posts: 13,726
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4/6/2014 8:16:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I also have social anxiety. I was at this party one time and I was so awkward to girls. I didn't know what to say to them so I remained silent and let the host do most of the talking. Sometimes I am socially awkward to certain guys aswell. For some reason, there are certain people that don't make me socially awkward when I'm with them, even if I met them for the first time.

A gay guy helped me with my social anxiety and told me to love myself. He helped me, but not much. I still have social anxiety, but thanks to him I am more confident than before.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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4/6/2014 8:36:37 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/6/2014 8:16:26 AM, XLAV wrote:
I also have social anxiety. I was at this party one time and I was so awkward to girls. I didn't know what to say to them so I remained silent and let the host do most of the talking. Sometimes I am socially awkward to certain guys aswell. For some reason, there are certain people that don't make me socially awkward when I'm with them, even if I met them for the first time.

A gay guy helped me with my social anxiety and told me to love myself. He helped me, but not much. I still have social anxiety, but thanks to him I am more confident than before.

At parties usually hide in the background or find one friend to talk to. As I stated before, i LITERALLY ran in the opposite when one guy tried to flirt with me once...
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
XLAV
Posts: 13,726
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4/6/2014 8:41:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/6/2014 8:36:37 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 4/6/2014 8:16:26 AM, XLAV wrote:
I also have social anxiety. I was at this party one time and I was so awkward to girls. I didn't know what to say to them so I remained silent and let the host do most of the talking. Sometimes I am socially awkward to certain guys aswell. For some reason, there are certain people that don't make me socially awkward when I'm with them, even if I met them for the first time.

A gay guy helped me with my social anxiety and told me to love myself. He helped me, but not much. I still have social anxiety, but thanks to him I am more confident than before.

At parties usually hide in the background or find one friend to talk to. As I stated before, i LITERALLY ran in the opposite when one guy tried to flirt with me once...

Lol, its already hard enought that in our society and popular belief that the guys have to make the first move.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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4/6/2014 8:49:51 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/6/2014 8:41:26 AM, XLAV wrote:
At 4/6/2014 8:36:37 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 4/6/2014 8:16:26 AM, XLAV wrote:
I also have social anxiety. I was at this party one time and I was so awkward to girls. I didn't know what to say to them so I remained silent and let the host do most of the talking. Sometimes I am socially awkward to certain guys aswell. For some reason, there are certain people that don't make me socially awkward when I'm with them, even if I met them for the first time.

A gay guy helped me with my social anxiety and told me to love myself. He helped me, but not much. I still have social anxiety, but thanks to him I am more confident than before.

At parties usually hide in the background or find one friend to talk to. As I stated before, i LITERALLY ran in the opposite when one guy tried to flirt with me once...

Lol, its already hard enought that in our society and popular belief that the guys have to make the first move.

O_o i dont think so. I think the girl should make the first move if she finds someone she feels comfortable with...

For example, once I saw this guy and decided , "okay why not?" So I walked up to him. We sat next to each other for about half an hour while I tried to figure out what to say. He was just there staring at people... So I turned randomly and asked, "So what form are you in?" Form is like a grade.

He was shocked and replied with, "what?" My face was red because I worked up asking that question and then he was shocked. He replied and we ended up talking for hours though. It's too bad i never saw him after that...
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.