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How do you deal with obnoxious teens

IamPlato
Posts: 3
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4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now
n7
Posts: 1,358
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4/7/2014 9:29:48 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Deal with them like this ------>
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
Skepsikyma
Posts: 8,280
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4/7/2014 10:03:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Good advice, though it's going to be tough regardless. My sisters are just starting to leave this phase:
"The Collectivist experiment is thoroughly suited (in appearance at least) to the Capitalist society which it proposes to replace. It works with the existing machinery of Capitalism, talks and thinks in the existing terms of Capitalism, appeals to just those appetites which Capitalism has aroused, and ridicules as fantastic and unheard-of just those things in society the memory of which Capitalism has killed among men wherever the blight of it has spread."
- Hilaire Belloc -
Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
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4/7/2014 10:03:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I've never seen a teen so obnoxious as to swear at their own parents. It certainly doesn't exist in the culture that I came from, which leads me to argue that the upbringing of this child was relatively undisciplined.

My suggestion: Exert your parental authority and ensure the kid becomes submissive. His self-centred and disrespectful personality type is exactly what we need to eradicate in society.

Prevention > Cure.
Music composition contest: http://www.debate.org...
YYW
Posts: 36,252
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4/7/2014 10:43:19 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 10:33:56 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Dump them in the Hunger Games.

So long as our nominees don't have to have stupid names like Katness or Peta. I cannot wait, however, for the generation of babies which includes girls names Katness and boys named Peta.

The Catcher in the Rye had a similar impact.
Tsar of DDO
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
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4/7/2014 11:21:40 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM, IamPlato wrote:
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now

Hi, Macgreggor what's going on?
Intrepid
Posts: 372
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4/7/2014 11:25:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Threaten adoption. Then if they mess up, put one up for adoption and tell the other one "you're next."
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
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4/7/2014 11:29:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM, IamPlato wrote:
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now

I must say this was a great post, but the reason you posted this was unjustified.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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4/8/2014 12:39:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 10:03:32 PM, Smithereens wrote:
I've never seen a teen so obnoxious as to swear at their own parents. It certainly doesn't exist in the culture that I came from, which leads me to argue that the upbringing of this child was relatively undisciplined.

My suggestion: Exert your parental authority and ensure the kid becomes submissive.

Be specific concerning what yer suggesting.

His self-centred and disrespectful personality type is exactly what we need to eradicate in society.

Prevention > Cure.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
zmikecuber
Posts: 4,077
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4/8/2014 3:06:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 11:21:40 PM, Haroush wrote:
At 4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM, IamPlato wrote:
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now

Hi, Macgreggor what's going on?
"Delete your fvcking sig" -1hard

"primal man had the habit, when he came into contact with fire, of satisfying the infantile desire connected with it, by putting it out with a stream of his urine... Putting out the fire by micturating was therefore a kind of sexual act with a male, an enjoyment of sexual potency in a homosexual competition."
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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4/8/2014 6:30:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
i feel negotiations work the best how is fair to force the child to comply when the parent might be part of the problem. you want to find out why a teen is going against you at every turn, then sit down with them and have nice calm conversation with them. You try to force them into submission and it won't work.
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
sadolite
Posts: 8,836
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4/9/2014 5:15:48 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
How do you deal with obnoxious teens

I don't, it would be minutes from my life wasted. They will pay the price of living poverty later. I laugh at them and don't offer opportunity to them. I cast them out like the garbage they are. I know, I was one and suffered all the consequences of being one.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
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4/10/2014 3:43:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/8/2014 12:39:55 PM, Noumena wrote:
At 4/7/2014 10:03:32 PM, Smithereens wrote:
I've never seen a teen so obnoxious as to swear at their own parents. It certainly doesn't exist in the culture that I came from, which leads me to argue that the upbringing of this child was relatively undisciplined.

My suggestion: Exert your parental authority and ensure the kid becomes submissive.

Be specific concerning what yer suggesting.
What I am suggesting is different for each culture. In America, grounding kids is considered nice and tough. In Oceania, spanking is considered normal. In Israel, executing the child would be a good idea.

His self-centred and disrespectful personality type is exactly what we need to eradicate in society.

Prevention > Cure.
Music composition contest: http://www.debate.org...
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,355
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4/10/2014 2:44:40 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM, IamPlato wrote:
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now

I am sorry if I was obnoxious to you. I didn't mean to be a "teen terror."
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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4/10/2014 4:13:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/10/2014 2:44:40 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM, IamPlato wrote:
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now

I am sorry if I was obnoxious to you. I didn't mean to be a "teen terror."

what did you do that he thought was obnoxious enough to make a thread out of it?

and i'm asking the question from a neutral standpoint
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,355
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4/10/2014 7:26:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/10/2014 4:13:06 PM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 4/10/2014 2:44:40 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 4/7/2014 11:40:13 AM, IamPlato wrote:
Understandably, most of us become reactionary to back talk. It"s annoying, it challenges our authority, and it pushes all our buttons. When this happens, the back talk and our reaction to it can take on a life of their own. Suddenly, you"re stuck in a full blown power struggle with your teen. You"re angry and frustrated, and your child is fueling that fire by continuing to talk back until the argument escalates into a screaming match.

If it becomes a habit and teen debater is talking back regularly, it"s not healthy and you really need to start dealing with it. Sometimes adults let it go because they"re overwhelmed"they"ve already got so much on their plates and it becomes just one more thing to worry about. Sometimes they"re reluctant to intervene because they think the child will just get angrier. But simply avoiding back talk doesn"t work, because then your teen won"t learn how to express himself differently.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. I think it"s important to choose your battles. Let"s say the teen is swearing at you and is also mumbling every time you give them a retort their comment You"re going to want to deal with both behaviors eventually, but the swearing is probably going to be more important to you than the mumbling. So start by setting limits and giving consequences for it, then move on to the next behavior you want to change. If you try to tackle everything at once, it becomes overwhelming and it"s easier for you to throw your hands up and give up.Don"t take it personally

Walk away from the fight: When tensions start to escalate and you feel yourself getting drawn in, it"s important to use the "acting stance." Even if you don"t feel calm, try to act that way. Say, "I"m not going to talk with you right now

I am sorry if I was obnoxious to you. I didn't mean to be a "teen terror."

what did you do that he thought was obnoxious enough to make a thread out of it?

and i'm asking the question from a neutral standpoint

From my point of view: Nothing. I just simply pointed out he was Macgreggor.

From his point of view:
@ESocialBookworm
You teenage terror! I am not Macgreggor! I am just a German (like Mac), doctor with a PHD (Like Mac) and happen to be Mac's best friend in real life! He told me how horrible you are and I decided to check it out! He was right! You are deplorable! You did an interview with Imabench. Therefore you're a suck up.

Those weren't his exact words. But it is basically why he hates me... Lol.
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,355
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4/10/2014 7:28:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 11:25:07 PM, Intrepid wrote:
Threaten adoption. Then if they mess up, put one up for adoption and tell the other one "you're next."

But I'm not his child... O_o....

And if I was, no offense or anything, but adoption wouldn't seem so bad.

I don't think I was that bad to him though...
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,355
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4/10/2014 7:28:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/7/2014 10:33:56 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Dump them in the Hunger Games.

Lol. I would love that actually. .. (Not the killing part.)
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.