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How do I deal with Passive aggressive comment

stanleymilgram1959
Posts: 7
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4/8/2014 3:12:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
"How do you deal with someone who is passive-aggressive?" A question sure to arise when we talk about difficult people. Unfortunately, the term is applied so broadly that it serves little but to reinforce our belief that the other person is the problem and that things would be fine if only they would change (or seek professional help.) But waiting for others to change seldom produces the results we would like, so how else can we deal with those we may experience as passive-aggressive? The key lies in understanding the motivation for their behaviour and cultivating an atmosphere that supports dialogue and resolution.
I have had someone virtually verbally assault me all day and I don't even know why as if it was a turf war. What is the answer? I have tried every thing I know to avoid, be agreeable, argue, then just quit communicating and he is relentless. I am really freaked out.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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4/9/2014 8:13:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/8/2014 3:12:00 PM, stanleymilgram1959 wrote:
"How do you deal with someone who is passive-aggressive?" A question sure to arise when we talk about difficult people. Unfortunately, the term is applied so broadly that it serves little but to reinforce our belief that the other person is the problem and that things would be fine if only they would change (or seek professional help.) But waiting for others to change seldom produces the results we would like, so how else can we deal with those we may experience as passive-aggressive? The key lies in understanding the motivation for their behaviour and cultivating an atmosphere that supports dialogue and resolution.
I have had someone virtually verbally assault me all day and I don't even know why as if it was a turf war. What is the answer? I have tried every thing I know to avoid, be agreeable, argue, then just quit communicating and he is relentless. I am really freaked out.

Ignore. You are your own unique individual, with your own opinions and qualities. Keep your beliefs strongly.

If this person just wants to argue. Stay away from them. Don't let people like that rile you up or make you mad. "Someone cannot make you mad. You need to give them the power to do so." If you let him get to you you are giving him power over you to make you upset. Ignore. Know you have your own opinions and get don't respond in a negative manner like cursing. Or else he might report you.

Other than that, you seem really nice so you should be fine! :)
Listen to the guys up there: Report or ignore. :)
Solonkr~
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I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

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In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

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TheOncomingStorm
Posts: 249
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4/9/2014 8:28:09 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/8/2014 3:12:00 PM, stanleymilgram1959 wrote:
"How do you deal with someone who is passive-aggressive?" A question sure to arise when we talk about difficult people. Unfortunately, the term is applied so broadly that it serves little but to reinforce our belief that the other person is the problem and that things would be fine if only they would change (or seek professional help.) But waiting for others to change seldom produces the results we would like, so how else can we deal with those we may experience as passive-aggressive? The key lies in understanding the motivation for their behaviour and cultivating an atmosphere that supports dialogue and resolution.
I have had someone virtually verbally assault me all day and I don't even know why as if it was a turf war. What is the answer? I have tried every thing I know to avoid, be agreeable, argue, then just quit communicating and he is relentless. I am really freaked out.

Is it actual harassment? Harassment is illegal, so the conclusion follows.
Official "Director of Weather and Hyperbole in the Maximum Degree of Mice and Men" of the FREEDO bureaucracy.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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4/9/2014 12:21:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/8/2014 3:12:00 PM, stanleymilgram1959 wrote:
"How do you deal with someone who is passive-aggressive?" A question sure to arise when we talk about difficult people. Unfortunately, the term is applied so broadly that it serves little but to reinforce our belief that the other person is the problem and that things would be fine if only they would change (or seek professional help.) But waiting for others to change seldom produces the results we would like, so how else can we deal with those we may experience as passive-aggressive? The key lies in understanding the motivation for their behaviour and cultivating an atmosphere that supports dialogue and resolution.
I have had someone virtually verbally assault me all day and I don't even know why as if it was a turf war. What is the answer? I have tried every thing I know to avoid, be agreeable, argue, then just quit communicating and he is relentless. I am really freaked out.

3 words-----------

Gas Light, them.

It's evil, but it works and is virtually undetectable.