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I might break somebody's heart soon...

R0b1Billion
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5/20/2014 8:51:23 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I met this girl last weekend and she wants me... she's hott and a lot of fun but I feel like I'm probably going to break her heart after we hook up. I don't want to break her heart but I also haven't gotten laid in like ten months so I don't know if I can stop myself. I don't see that the perfect woman for me even exists in reality... either they are like this girl and passionate and fun, or they are like another girl in my life who is smart and sensitive but no fun at all (and gives me absolutely no opportunity to make a connection with her, even though I can tell she likes me). I'm smart and fun and a good person, why aren't there any girls like that out there? My qualities are a curse; I get along just as well getting wasted with party-people as I do engaging intellectuals in debate... Is there anybody else like me in the world or am I destined to be unhappy indefinitely?
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/20/2014 10:11:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Man I can get laid tonight but I'm trying to do the right thing! I feel like Will Ferrel on Blades of Glory at the sex addicts meeting lol. I need to stay in tonight and not give in! It's hard, knowing the other love interests in my life all have men they are dating and I have nothing... Tonight I feel like I am in control but tomorrow is another day... one day at a time I guess. Luckily I do have some friends that are really good people who will look down on me if I don't do the right thing, which really helps... Most people wouldn't have any problem with me doing it and that isn't very supportive. I guess I'm writing this as a last ditch effort to give me some additional reason not to do it, because if I give in then I will have to admit it here :P
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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5/21/2014 8:20:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/20/2014 8:51:23 AM, R0b1Billion wrote:
I met this girl last weekend and she wants me... she's hott and a lot of fun but I feel like I'm probably going to break her heart after we hook up. I don't want to break her heart but I also haven't gotten laid in like ten months so I don't know if I can stop myself. I don't see that the perfect woman for me even exists in reality... either they are like this girl and passionate and fun, or they are like another girl in my life who is smart and sensitive but no fun at all (and gives me absolutely no opportunity to make a connection with her, even though I can tell she likes me). I'm smart and fun and a good person, why aren't there any girls like that out there? My qualities are a curse; I get along just as well getting wasted with party-people as I do engaging intellectuals in debate... Is there anybody else like me in the world or am I destined to be unhappy indefinitely?

Theres a girl i like but she's one of those girls who's in her own little world and doesn't hear what i say correctly so yeah.
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
ElCoyote
Posts: 28
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5/21/2014 12:21:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/20/2014 8:51:23 AM, R0b1Billion wrote:
I met this girl last weekend and she wants me... she's hott and a lot of fun but I feel like I'm probably going to break her heart after we hook up. I don't want to break her heart but I also haven't gotten laid in like ten months so I don't know if I can stop myself. I don't see that the perfect woman for me even exists in reality... either they are like this girl and passionate and fun, or they are like another girl in my life who is smart and sensitive but no fun at all (and gives me absolutely no opportunity to make a connection with her, even though I can tell she likes me). I'm smart and fun and a good person, why aren't there any girls like that out there? My qualities are a curse; I get along just as well getting wasted with party-people as I do engaging intellectuals in debate... Is there anybody else like me in the world or am I destined to be unhappy indefinitely?

No your not destined to be unhappy. It's almost impossible to find the perfect girl because there is no one perfect everybody in this world has problems or flaws its human. To love someone though is to ignore those flaws and accept them. I've been through heartbreak and temptation. And while i can say it's a bitch it does make you a bit stronger
sadolite
Posts: 8,842
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5/21/2014 4:55:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/20/2014 8:51:23 AM, R0b1Billion wrote:
I met this girl last weekend and she wants me... she's hott and a lot of fun but I feel like I'm probably going to break her heart after we hook up. I don't want to break her heart but I also haven't gotten laid in like ten months so I don't know if I can stop myself. I don't see that the perfect woman for me even exists in reality... either they are like this girl and passionate and fun, or they are like another girl in my life who is smart and sensitive but no fun at all (and gives me absolutely no opportunity to make a connection with her, even though I can tell she likes me). I'm smart and fun and a good person, why aren't there any girls like that out there? My qualities are a curse; I get along just as well getting wasted with party-people as I do engaging intellectuals in debate... Is there anybody else like me in the world or am I destined to be unhappy indefinitely?

"good person" A good person would not lead someone on for owns own personal gratification. This is a no brainer.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
MadisonMichelle
Posts: 115
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5/21/2014 5:07:08 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Don't give in, no gain would come from either party. She will get hurt, then possibly go crazy! Just from girl on girl experience. cx
Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
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5/22/2014 3:25:09 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
You appear to be at the centre of your own relationship. Is that your definition of love? If so, you have already found it. No surprises that it isn't what you actually want.
Music composition contest: http://www.debate.org...
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/22/2014 1:39:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/21/2014 8:20:26 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:

Theres a girl i like but she's one of those girls who's in her own little world and doesn't hear what i say correctly so yeah.

Perhaps she isn't the one for you?
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/22/2014 1:43:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/21/2014 12:21:59 PM, ElCoyote wrote:

No your not destined to be unhappy. It's almost impossible to find the perfect girl because there is no one perfect everybody in this world has problems or flaws its human. To love someone though is to ignore those flaws and accept them. I've been through heartbreak and temptation. And while i can say it's a bitch it does make you a bit stronger

It's not about flaws, it's about what they have chosen to recognize as important.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/22/2014 1:44:30 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/21/2014 4:55:32 PM, sadolite wrote:

"good person" A good person would not lead someone on for owns own personal gratification. This is a no brainer.

That's what I am trying to keep in mind ; )
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
ElCoyote
Posts: 28
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5/22/2014 1:46:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/22/2014 1:43:26 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
At 5/21/2014 12:21:59 PM, ElCoyote wrote:

No your not destined to be unhappy. It's almost impossible to find the perfect girl because there is no one perfect everybody in this world has problems or flaws its human. To love someone though is to ignore those flaws and accept them. I've been through heartbreak and temptation. And while i can say it's a bitch it does make you a bit stronger

It's not about flaws, it's about what they have chosen to recognize as important.

If they love you then everything no matter how small the quality or quirk it is important to them. Because when you fall in love you want to know everything about them learn their likes and dislikes learn there little quirks and habits everything is important
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/22/2014 1:53:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/21/2014 5:07:08 PM, MadisonMichelle wrote:
Don't give in, no gain would come from either party. She will get hurt, then possibly go crazy! Just from girl on girl experience. cx

Thank you, it's nice to hear people tell me that!
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,484
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5/22/2014 4:47:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/22/2014 1:53:59 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
At 5/21/2014 5:07:08 PM, MadisonMichelle wrote:
Don't give in, no gain would come from either party. She will get hurt, then possibly go crazy! Just from girl on girl experience. cx

Thank you, it's nice to hear people tell me that!

It is usually pleasant when you are told precisely what you want to hear. Do not take this the wrong way, but your attitude toward casual sex reminds me of the attitude of the reverend in the Scarlet Letter: so consumed by guilt over his affair with Hester that, just to appease his religious moral sentiments, he took to regularly flagellating himself as penance. You evidently know what your body wants, and it always makes me at least a little sad to see you fighting yourself over it, especially when your principal competitor is just a set of internalized norms about sexual expression. It always seems like they hold you prisoner in your own body, struggling tooth and nail to prevent you from acting on your fundamental proclivities. I understand that we live in a world which at once saturates us with sexual imagery and suggestion and, in the same breath, chastises us for pursuing sexual gratification outside the proper, publicly-sanctioned channels, but I'd wager this is a conflict whose true terrain is philosophical, not bodily.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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5/22/2014 5:21:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/21/2014 8:20:26 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 5/20/2014 8:51:23 AM, R0b1Billion wrote:
I met this girl last weekend and she wants me... she's hott and a lot of fun but I feel like I'm probably going to break her heart after we hook up. I don't want to break her heart but I also haven't gotten laid in like ten months so I don't know if I can stop myself. I don't see that the perfect woman for me even exists in reality... either they are like this girl and passionate and fun, or they are like another girl in my life who is smart and sensitive but no fun at all (and gives me absolutely no opportunity to make a connection with her, even though I can tell she likes me). I'm smart and fun and a good person, why aren't there any girls like that out there? My qualities are a curse; I get along just as well getting wasted with party-people as I do engaging intellectuals in debate... Is there anybody else like me in the world or am I destined to be unhappy indefinitely?

Theres a girl i like but she's one of those girls who's in her own little world and doesn't hear what i say correctly so yeah.
You'll find someone. Don't worry. :)
Solonkr~
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I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

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Me~
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MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

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P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/25/2014 9:55:51 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/22/2014 4:47:05 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 5/22/2014 1:53:59 PM, R0b1Billion wrote:
At 5/21/2014 5:07:08 PM, MadisonMichelle wrote:
Don't give in, no gain would come from either party. She will get hurt, then possibly go crazy! Just from girl on girl experience. cx

Thank you, it's nice to hear people tell me that!

It is usually pleasant when you are told precisely what you want to hear.

There's a difference between hearing what I want to hear, and hearing what I need to hear. Is there not? What I want is sex, after all...

Do not take this the wrong way, but your attitude toward casual sex reminds me of the attitude of the reverend in the Scarlet Letter: so consumed by guilt over his affair with Hester that, just to appease his religious moral sentiments, he took to regularly flagellating himself as penance.

Wait a minute... you don't enjoy flagellating yourself? Mix that in with a little autoerotic asphixiation and you have yourself a party, mister!

But yes that is the question at hand - should I just let myself do what I feel like doing, or cut myself off by staying away from the bars?

You evidently know what your body wants, and it always makes me at least a little sad to see you fighting yourself over it, especially when your principal competitor is just a set of internalized norms about sexual expression.

It's not about "internalized norms," it's about morality; it's about the recognition of selfish action and identifying the problems that might occur because of it.

It always seems like they hold you prisoner in your own body, struggling tooth and nail to prevent you from acting on your fundamental proclivities. I understand that we live in a world which at once saturates us with sexual imagery and suggestion and, in the same breath, chastises us for pursuing sexual gratification outside the proper, publicly-sanctioned channels, but I'd wager this is a conflict whose true terrain is philosophical, not bodily.

I have fundamental proclivities to eat sugar in excess, but that doesn't mean I should. Instead of "philosophical" versus "bodily," how about "natural" versus "artificial?" Natural desires and motives are conducive to sustainability with one's environment. An ant colony, for instance, functions only because ants have virtually no ability to be self-interested. Humans, however, are capable of artificial motives, which can be benign (e.g., studying philosophy) or based on vice (e.g., taking enough money to feed an entire city's worth of people and spending it on a car for personal entertainment). I've found that the basis of morality is isolating our artificial motives from our natural ones. Our natural ambitions, like that of the ant, will be without moral dilemma. Our artificial desires however must be screened, and I think Kant's Categorical Imperative is a good enough tool for that, although I would argue that, in the end, one finds that the seven sins are the best practical way to satisfy the Kant's CI.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/25/2014 10:01:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:31:55 PM, queenofmayhem wrote:
Just make it clear to her that this is a no strings attached hook up. Simple, be honest.

There are certain people who can have sex and keep feelings unattached. It's certainly not decided by a contract beforehand. My relationships tend to be very intimate and I can't risk destroying somebody that gets too close to me when I decide I no longer need their services.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,484
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5/26/2014 3:22:02 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Let me be candid. I think the categorical imperative is a cancer, and that trying to dedicate your life to its satisfaction is absolutely, viscerally repugnant. If the only way I could live was as a Kantian saint, I would rather be executed on the spot. The world of duty is one in which a person has no interest, no stake in being alive. You're enslaved to an ethics whose only demand is complete obedience. Do not indulge yourself, do not do what is right because it serves one of your goals. Do what is right because it is right--even if you must abandon yourself to do it. Ethics, to me, seems like a massive game of pretend, sustained only by its capacity to assist us in accomplishing what we want to accomplish. Take that away, as Kantian ethics does, and all that remains is a person patting themselves on the back and feeling superior. I, for my part, would probably qualify as an immoralist in that camp.

To me, resisting something like eating a lot of sugar isn't about being screening your inclinations, but about another base feeling, of which there are many, taking the momentary top spot. To let something like a principle or an imperative come down and regulate your behavior seems, to me, like shutting down part of your brain. We cannot forget that an imperative is really nothing other than a command, and that only servants comply with commands.

In my mind, you should only ever worry about satisfying yourself. I, for one, prefer far more direct a route than feeling satisfied about being good because I followed a pretty-sounding set of rules, whether in the form of an imperative or of virtues and vices.
R0b1Billion
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5/26/2014 6:19:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 3:22:02 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Let me be candid. I think the categorical imperative is a cancer,

You are dead to me TLDR! TLDR!

and that trying to dedicate your life to its satisfaction is absolutely, viscerally repugnant.

By all means don't hide your feelings :o !! DX

If the only way I could live was as a Kantian saint, I would rather be executed on the spot. The world of duty is one in which a person has no interest, no stake in being alive.

Part of the experience is the realization that doing good for others is not a senseless duty, it is the most self-interested act of all. People who do good, do well. Do they not?

You're enslaved to an ethics whose only demand is complete obedience. Do not indulge yourself, do not do what is right because it serves one of your goals. Do what is right because it is right--even if you must abandon yourself to do it. Ethics, to me, seems like a massive game of pretend, sustained only by its capacity to assist us in accomplishing what we want to accomplish. Take that away, as Kantian ethics does, and all that remains is a person patting themselves on the back and feeling superior. I, for my part, would probably qualify as an immoralist in that camp.

Ethics is simply a product of wisdom. Wisdom builds as you age, giving you a mixture of two things:
(1) Tactics to surviving in the natural world and
(2) Mastery of culture and intellect; of the artificial world.

While (1) is what balances an older person's happiness out with a younger (being prudent versus being healthy), the second can work against the individual who is aged. Too much immersion in a particular area's culture can limit one's scope of the world, and prevent the acceptance of new ideas.

(2) gives flavor to life, but also introduces human vice. Our ideas are magnificent, however they are tainted with our own cultural/intellectual (artificial) limits. The most pronounced of these limits is the inability to look beyond ourselves as Ends, forgetting that, as social beings, we function best when concentrated on the community.

(1) gives us only empirically-derived (natural) data that is 100% positive, while (2) involves developing our strategy to interpret and act upon this data. Ethics is the weeding out of artificial impulses which contradict natural principles. Intellect that is unspoiled from selfish motives is theoretically perfectly-just. Natural principles only work to help a person out, so avoiding disagreement with them is far from enslavement, it is release.

To me, resisting something like eating a lot of sugar isn't about being screening your inclinations, but about another base feeling, of which there are many, taking the momentary top spot.

Indulgence of vice is psychologically shown to become harder to resist the more you indulge.

To let something like a principle or an imperative come down and regulate your behavior seems, to me, like shutting down part of your brain. We cannot forget that an imperative is really nothing other than a command, and that only servants comply with commands.

You can look at it as a command, but that wouldn't be accurate. When I do push-ups I know that keeping my elbows in prevents my elbows from becoming injured. It's awkward to keep my elbows in but I do it because I know that in the long run I will be glad I did... It's the same type of deal as that!

In my mind, you should only ever worry about satisfying yourself. I, for one, prefer far more direct a route than feeling satisfied about being good because I followed a pretty-sounding set of rules, whether in the form of an imperative or of virtues and vices.

Well there's nothing to celebrate in talking about it, you either do good for others and are held in high regard or you don't (and you don't). Jesus' message was that you could do better taking $100 and giving it to some random person and walking away, never to see that person again, then you could by taking it and getting a new smartphone. In your perspective, the former does "nothing" for us and the latter does something good. In my perspective, the former gives us a fantastic feeling about ourselves while the latter turns us more into drones, dealing with depression and antisocial disorders. The things we own end up owning us. I don't have any more desire or ability to intentionally harm myself for the sake of "duty," I think the rewards are self-evident.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.