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How do I deal with my bitchy supervisor?

EnlightenedMadman
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5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?
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YYW
Posts: 36,322
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5/25/2014 10:33:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Take an anger management class. Seriously. Your supervisor may be bitchy, but you're going to have to get over your desire to make people pay for fvcking with you. In high school that kind of stuff could be gotten away with, but in the real world it'l get you thrown in jail and no one wants that. Though, if your supervisor is bitchy at the company's expense, talk to HR -and if that doesn't work, I'd get my resume out there to other places, fast. Bosses can suck, especially when they're stupid -and so many are.
Tsar of DDO
EnlightenedMadman
Posts: 44
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5/26/2014 2:13:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 10:33:29 PM, YYW wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Take an anger management class. Seriously. Your supervisor may be bitchy, but you're going to have to get over your desire to make people pay for fvcking with you. In high school that kind of stuff could be gotten away with, but in the real world it'l get you thrown in jail and no one wants that. Though, if your supervisor is bitchy at the company's expense, talk to HR -and if that doesn't work, I'd get my resume out there to other places, fast. Bosses can suck, especially when they're stupid -and so many are.

I took a class a few years back. It helped me to stop physically hurting people, but didn't do much to help my verbal beatdowns; they were toned down, but still "effective". Picture Christopher Hitchens' rhetoric. So essentially, I found different ways to take my anger out on people. Verbal annihilation, if that's what you want to call it. But thanks for your answer. I'll see what I can do here.
Check it out! Envisage and I debate Young Earth Creationism.
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Zarroette
Posts: 2,951
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5/26/2014 4:12:47 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone.

Yeah okay, buddy. The only lifting you do is when you lift up the Doritos packet to get all the crumbs out of the bottom.
Kc1999
Posts: 1,037
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5/26/2014 4:15:00 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

With a pan. In the face.
#NoToMobocracy #BladeStroink
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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5/26/2014 9:56:00 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Where do you work? Not specifically, but office clerk, bank, restaurant, etc.?
Do you get along with everyone else because they are lax, or because they let you be?
Is she giving you work that she shouldn't be?
Should you be able to do the work in the allotted time given, even if you are busy?

The reason I ask these things is because you see it as her screwing with you, yet make no mention of this being unfair (not your job), singling you out, or even that you are any good at your job.

You compare her to the rest of the staff, which makes me think you are some angry child who thinks too highly of yourself.
My work here is, finally, done.
EnlightenedMadman
Posts: 44
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5/26/2014 11:36:50 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 9:56:00 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Where do you work? Not specifically, but office clerk, bank, restaurant, etc.?
Do you get along with everyone else because they are lax, or because they let you be?
Is she giving you work that she shouldn't be?
Should you be able to do the work in the allotted time given, even if you are busy?

The reason I ask these things is because you see it as her screwing with you, yet make no mention of this being unfair (not your job), singling you out, or even that you are any good at your job.

You compare her to the rest of the staff, which makes me think you are some angry child who thinks too highly of yourself.

How exactly does that make you think so? How can I not compare her to the rest of the staff? I came here for advice; do you have any at all? I'm not going to give a full description of what I have to put up with.
Check it out! Envisage and I debate Young Earth Creationism.
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Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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5/26/2014 11:45:50 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 11:36:50 AM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At 5/26/2014 9:56:00 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Where do you work? Not specifically, but office clerk, bank, restaurant, etc.?
Do you get along with everyone else because they are lax, or because they let you be?
Is she giving you work that she shouldn't be?
Should you be able to do the work in the allotted time given, even if you are busy?

The reason I ask these things is because you see it as her screwing with you, yet make no mention of this being unfair (not your job), singling you out, or even that you are any good at your job.

You compare her to the rest of the staff, which makes me think you are some angry child who thinks too highly of yourself.

How exactly does that make you think so?
The only thing you cited as evidence of her being a b!tch is that she gives you work to do, and she is upset that it doesn't get done.
That sounds like a manager/supervisor to me. So, what, exactly, is your issue with her? That she assigns tasks?
That she expects them to get done?
Something else that you haven't mentioned at all, yet somehow want advice on?

How can I not compare her to the rest of the staff?
Because you didn't.
You said you got along with everyone else, and she makes you work. That's it.
So, it is equally likely that the other people don't make you work and you resent her for making you do so.

I came here for advice; do you have any at all? I'm not going to give a full description of what I have to put up with.

So, you want advice on a situation that we don't have all the information on?
Yep, that speaks of maturity.
Just like your "I don't take sh!t from nobody" attitude.
And, your age on the profile.

I'd wager you are some teen who thinks they are above the tasks assigned to them, and resents the ONE manager who expects employees to work.
I've seen it dozens of times.

So, if you want advice that actually means something, you need to explain why and how she is such a b!tch.
My work here is, finally, done.
EnlightenedMadman
Posts: 44
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5/26/2014 11:47:38 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 4:12:47 AM, Zarroette wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone.

Yeah okay, buddy. The only lifting you do is when you lift up the Doritos packet to get all the crumbs out of the Doritos packet.

Not exactly what I'd call a productive post, especially since you responded to a part that wasn't really relevant. Because of this, I'm probably going to assume you don't know what it's like to work under those kinds of conditions. The important part is how to deal with difficult people.
Got any advice? If not, then GTFO. :)
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slo1
Posts: 4,353
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5/26/2014 12:01:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

If you want to keep the job, you better get on the same page with her with delegating work. It is not possible to understand whether she is truly abusive or you just have a low tolerance to authority.

Unless you have real examples of truly abusive behavior (getting spoken to when not completing work that is assigned is not abusive unless she is using derogatory words or yelling) do not go to HR. HR is the friend of the supervisor unless you have hard core proof of harassment.

If I had to guess by the tone of your email, I would say you have a low tolerance to different styles and possibly working for a woman. If you are really worried about getting disciplined for not doing your work it is really simple to take your assignments and take 5 minutes to sit down with your manager and ask for help to prioritize it.

In short you have two options:
1. Work towards creating a better relationship.
2. Get a new job.
EnlightenedMadman
Posts: 44
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5/26/2014 12:03:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 11:45:50 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/26/2014 11:36:50 AM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At 5/26/2014 9:56:00 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Where do you work? Not specifically, but office clerk, bank, restaurant, etc.?
Do you get along with everyone else because they are lax, or because they let you be?
Is she giving you work that she shouldn't be?
Should you be able to do the work in the allotted time given, even if you are busy?

The reason I ask these things is because you see it as her screwing with you, yet make no mention of this being unfair (not your job), singling you out, or even that you are any good at your job.

You compare her to the rest of the staff, which makes me think you are some angry child who thinks too highly of yourself.

How exactly does that make you think so?
The only thing you cited as evidence of her being a b!tch is that she gives you work to do, and she is upset that it doesn't get done.
That sounds like a manager/supervisor to me. So, what, exactly, is your issue with her? That she assigns tasks?
That she expects them to get done?
Something else that you haven't mentioned at all, yet somehow want advice on?

I apologize, since I'm short on time while writing this. If I could run over everything briefly... She has been rude to me from day one of my job, taking credit for most of the work I do and throwing me under the bus when she screws up. I've tried reasoning with her before to find out what the problem was, but I either get silence or a seemingly unprovoked snap. That's just a general description. Want more details?

How can I not compare her to the rest of the staff?
Because you didn't.
You said you got along with everyone else, and she makes you work. That's it.
So, it is equally likely that the other people don't make you work and you resent her for making you do so.

Then perhaps I wasn't descriptive enough before.


I came here for advice; do you have any at all? I'm not going to give a full description of what I have to put up with.

So, you want advice on a situation that we don't have all the information on?
Yep, that speaks of maturity.
Just like your "I don't take sh!t from nobody" attitude.
And, your age on the profile.

First, I did say I was like that for most of my life, not exacty right now. All I said was that my supervisor was being gratuitously rude and hateful to me. And YYW seemed to nail it. My situation with my supervisor is getting worse each day, so I need to get my resume to other places.

I'm not going to disclose my real age on the internet.

I'd wager you are some teen who thinks they are above the tasks assigned to them, and resents the ONE manager who expects employees to work.
I've seen it dozens of times.

So have I, but that isn't the case. I have more than one manager and they give me the same amount of work without conflicting with my work schedule or without the bad attitude.

So, if you want advice that actually means something, you need to explain why and how she is such a b!tch.

Already did.
Check it out! Envisage and I debate Young Earth Creationism.
http://www.debate.org...
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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5/26/2014 12:25:54 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 12:03:49 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:

I apologize, since I'm short on time while writing this. If I could run over everything briefly... She has been rude to me from day one of my job, taking credit for most of the work I do and throwing me under the bus when she screws up. I've tried reasoning with her before to find out what the problem was, but I either get silence or a seemingly unprovoked snap. That's just a general description. Want more details?

The issue is: is it you, or is it everyone?
Is she always blaming you, specifically, or others for her failures? If it is always you, it could be you. It could not be you. Take an honest look and ask others you trust for honest feedback.

Rude is subjective, and it could be you (given your description of yourself, it may be you are overreacting). People are different, and act differently. I have a manager speak gruffly to me all the time, then realized that was how he was to everyone. It sucks, but in the workplace, you have to deal with different attitudes all the time. And power tripping managers are the worst, since you can't simply avoid them or complain to anyone with any level of confidence.

So, assuming this woman is as bad as you say, here is my advice:
1. Take note of props she takes that she shouldn't, and busses she makes when she shouldn't. Supervisors are in charge, so a successful shift or project should be their to claim, but so is their failure. It doesn't work that way, but it is what it is.
2. Figure out if it is just you, or everybody. If it is just you, contact HR. If it is everybody, contact her superior. Use your notes.
3. If it gets worse, look for another job.
There will always be power trips and what have you, which this sounds like. Learn to get along to get along, if you can.
But, ultimately, leave. If, after bringing this to the attention of whomever, and no one is doing anything about it, then the management/culture of the company doesn't care about the grunts or even the level of quality in their supervisors.


First, I did say I was like that for most of my life, not exacty right now. All I said was that my supervisor was being gratuitously rude and hateful to me. And YYW seemed to nail it. My situation with my supervisor is getting worse each day, so I need to get my resume to other places.
Don't be disingenious.
You said that you aren't physical, and that your rants are not as bad as they used to be.
That is not the same as saying "I used to be". You still have an attitude, and that may be part of the problem. It can cloud your judgment.

I had a co-worker once who had an anger problem, but he always said "this? This is nothing, it used to be real bad", as that excused his behavior.

I'm not going to disclose my real age on the internet.
Real age =/= clearly fake one.
You could simply state a close age, like 25 or 40.
My work here is, finally, done.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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5/26/2014 3:12:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I ran into a similar situation when I was about 20. I went in the office and spoke with the owner, and he sat me down and explained "Rob, no matter where you work, there are always going to be the hens."

So far he's been right about pretty-much every one of the dozen or so jobs I've had since. The only answer is to do your best to let her not get under your skin. We have to deal with people we don't like at our jobs, and you'll find that we are judged, personality-wise, almost solely on how we can handle the people we don't like.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
YYW
Posts: 36,322
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5/26/2014 9:46:09 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 2:13:05 AM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:33:29 PM, YYW wrote:
At 5/25/2014 10:26:44 PM, EnlightenedMadman wrote:
At my job, my co-workers and managers and boss are awesome to me for the most part, except for this one manager... she is a huge b*tch to me at work and too much of a perfectionist for her own good. She gives me jobs when I'm working on something else and gets pissed when I can't do them because I'm busy. I was basically an alpha male for much of my life, (I'm 6'4 and 260 pounds.) and never took sh*t from anyone. When people would screw with me, I would always make them pay for it verbally or physically, (depending on the situation.) no matter who they were. But I can't exactly do that since I need money. I am reaching my boiling point and I don't discriminate when it comes to getting even with the exception of children. So, how do I deal with my supervisor?

Take an anger management class. Seriously. Your supervisor may be bitchy, but you're going to have to get over your desire to make people pay for fvcking with you. In high school that kind of stuff could be gotten away with, but in the real world it'l get you thrown in jail and no one wants that. Though, if your supervisor is bitchy at the company's expense, talk to HR -and if that doesn't work, I'd get my resume out there to other places, fast. Bosses can suck, especially when they're stupid -and so many are.

I took a class a few years back. It helped me to stop physically hurting people, but didn't do much to help my verbal beatdowns; they were toned down, but still "effective". Picture Christopher Hitchens' rhetoric. So essentially, I found different ways to take my anger out on people. Verbal annihilation, if that's what you want to call it. But thanks for your answer. I'll see what I can do here.

I've only had one job that I really hated, and I liked it at first because everyone seemed happy and nice. But, as time went on, the veneer wore off and my job responsibilities were undefined, I was blamed for everything that wend wrong and when I knew more than my superiors (who were older, and technologically illiterate) I was chastised for having the audacity to try to save the place several thousand dollars -and do so in a way that would have actually been a worthwhile investment. They paid me well enough, but I hated them -and I got the sense that they hated me, too. I was the youngest person in the office and (predictably) I was the "outsider." I learned a whole hell of a lot, there, though. Office dynamics/politics were something I thought only occurred on Mad Men, but no. Coming up with solutions to problems was something that became a test of egos. Preventing problems was frowned on as "unnecessary expenditures." And the worst was their fvcking tech guy, whose serial incompetence deserved a monument unto itself. (I'm not a tech guy, but when I, an computer illiterate mac user, know more about how to unfvck a server than the guy they were contracting at $100.00/hr... something's gone wrong.) But, because I wanted to keep my shitty fvcking job, I kept my mouth shut. I'm sure they'd give me a fair reference now... but I don't want it. I'm ashamed to say that I ever worked there -and for having known how the place worked behind the scenes, I am truly fearful for the clients. I drank a lot more when I worked there, too. A lot more.
Tsar of DDO
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/27/2014 3:27:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Don't take stuff so personally. And she is in her responsibilities to task you with jobs. Perform the best you can with what you can do and be proud of it.

10 years from now you will not know or care about her.

Quit and start your own business if it bothers you so much. Before you do take a leadership class so you are not repeating the same mistakes you think your current boss is making.