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What to do in this situation?

ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
YYW
Posts: 36,287
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6/5/2014 8:44:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

If it's bothering you that your friend continues to bring it up, tell her that who you were then is not who you are now and that you'd like to have the chance to move past it.
Tsar of DDO
Envisage
Posts: 3,646
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6/5/2014 8:44:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

No, in fact that is a rather contemptible thing to do if she is doing it deliberately for an ulterior purpose.

I would ask her why she is bring it up again
XLAV
Posts: 13,715
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6/5/2014 9:49:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

Tell her you've change and stop bringing it up.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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6/5/2014 10:36:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I do tell her that and apologize for my previous actions then. It is commonly known that I was a biotch back then but I have apologized and I thought we moved on..

This is the third time she's brought it back up, if so little a number,

I know I might deserve it for how mean I used to be but I don't understand why or what to do at this point.

I am almost done with exams and have no time to deal with more emotional stress. The other day one of my friends almost killed himself while drunk and one of my girl friends, I wanna get her out of her house.

I don't know what to do at this point. Sorry for venting here... I just need to let this out.
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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6/6/2014 8:55:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

The person keeps brining it up because they want to control you. Get rid of them, they are no good. You will regret staying friends with them. They have an issue greater than your past issue and use you to make them feel better about themselves. It is a classic behavior to hide ones own short comings.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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6/6/2014 9:06:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/6/2014 8:55:10 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

The person keeps brining it up because they want to control you. Get rid of them, they are no good. You will regret staying friends with them. They have an issue greater than your past issue and use you to make them feel better about themselves. It is a classic behavior to hide ones own short comings.

Thanks for your advice!
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Unknown_player
Posts: 56
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6/6/2014 10:02:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

Show them this song http://m.youtube.com...
Tell her to get her head out of the past. You are who you are TODAY and not yesterday. If she can't accept who you are today without always looking at you yesterday (this is figurative not literal), I'm not sure how that friendship is going to work out.
I'll put something here later...
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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6/7/2014 5:44:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/6/2014 10:02:46 PM, Unknown_player wrote:
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

Show them this song http://m.youtube.com...
Tell her to get her head out of the past. You are who you are TODAY and not yesterday. If she can't accept who you are today without always looking at you yesterday (this is figurative not literal), I'm not sure how that friendship is going to work out.

I like your taste in music. :)
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
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6/7/2014 5:51:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

In what context is it brought up, though? I mean...it's one thing to bring it up topically during a discussion in which it's relevant. It's another thing to bring it up just to make you feel bad about it.
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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6/7/2014 5:53:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/7/2014 5:51:24 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?


In what context is it brought up, though? I mean...it's one thing to bring it up topically during a discussion in which it's relevant. It's another thing to bring it up just to make you feel bad about it.

When we're around people having normal discussions... When we're talking with new people... Etc
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
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6/7/2014 5:58:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/7/2014 5:53:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 6/7/2014 5:51:24 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?


In what context is it brought up, though? I mean...it's one thing to bring it up topically during a discussion in which it's relevant. It's another thing to bring it up just to make you feel bad about it.

When we're around people having normal discussions... When we're talking with new people... Etc

That's not really what I was getting at. Let me try to clarify:

Let's say Person A used to drink and drive a lot. He doesn't any more, and recognizes it as a bad thing, but it used to be a regular thing for him.

If he's talking with Person B, and talking about what terrible people drunk drivers are, then Person B saying "You used to do that ALL THE TIME" wouldn't be a jerk move necessarily.

If, on the other hand, Person A and Person B are just out at a restaurant with some new friends, and Person B feels the need to bring up out of the blue "Y'know, Person A used to drink and drive ALL THE TIME", that's a jerk move.

If it's the latter, and your "friend" keeps doing it after you've asked her to stop--then she's not really a friend. Isn't "frenemy" a word the kids are using these days?
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
Unknown_player
Posts: 56
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6/8/2014 9:34:59 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/7/2014 5:44:10 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 6/6/2014 10:02:46 PM, Unknown_player wrote:
At 6/5/2014 8:09:58 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
I was once very mean to someone a few years ago.

When I realized I was doing a wrong thing, I apologized.

Now we're good friends.

She keeps bringing up what I did to people.

I know I deserve it for what I did, but what do I do?
Do I continue to apologize?

Show them this song http://m.youtube.com...
Tell her to get her head out of the past. You are who you are TODAY and not yesterday. If she can't accept who you are today without always looking at you yesterday (this is figurative not literal), I'm not sure how that friendship is going to work out.

I like your taste in music. :)

Haha thanks :) I don't hear that a lot.
I'll put something here later...