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When Men Talk About Women's Issues

YYW
Posts: 36,403
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7/12/2014 11:07:38 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
It's always amazing to me how some men talk about women's issues. Whether it's feminism, women's rights in a general sense, crimes against women of various kinds, relationships and the like. For example, let's say that you've got a guy who believes that women's advancement in society comes at men's expense. Let's say that this guy genuinely feels (and I use the word "feels" purposefully, because this isn't a rational position to hold) that women receiving certain social protections, where men do not receive the same protection, comes at the expense of some notion of "men's rights."

It would seem to me that the kind of man that believes that is also going to be the kind of man who would be a horrible husband or boyfriend to have. He's probably going to be passive aggressive and emotionally abusive, because the kind of worldview that is required to believe that women's having certain social protections from abuse by men comes at the expense of men's rights implies both a deeply disconcerting level of disdain for women as a whole, and an almost comprehensive inability to empathize with women on any kind of meaningful level. I would think that, at a minimum, such a person would either be a sexually impotent and frustrated virgin who has never had a girlfriend... or a sex offender.

The reasons why this could be aren't hard to figure out. Somewhere along the way, when men of the kind that I just described were growing up, they failed to see what a healthy relationship looked like. Perhaps their fathers were "old fashioned" militaristic brutes who modeled horrible behavior to their sons. Perhaps they never had girlfriends, and grew to resent all women as result, like Elliot Rodger.

Not all men are like this, obviously. But too many are...

But, what society can do to remediate that problem? How can we, socially and culturally, teach men to respect and empathize with women? What should be done with people like I've described above?
Tsar of DDO
mishapqueen
Posts: 3,995
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7/12/2014 11:34:53 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/12/2014 11:07:38 AM, YYW wrote:
It's always amazing to me how some men talk about women's issues. Whether it's feminism, women's rights in a general sense, crimes against women of various kinds, relationships and the like. For example, let's say that you've got a guy who believes that women's advancement in society comes at men's expense. Let's say that this guy genuinely feels (and I use the word "feels" purposefully, because this isn't a rational position to hold) that women receiving certain social protections, where men do not receive the same protection, comes at the expense of some notion of "men's rights."

It would seem to me that the kind of man that believes that is also going to be the kind of man who would be a horrible husband or boyfriend to have. He's probably going to be passive aggressive and emotionally abusive, because the kind of worldview that is required to believe that women's having certain social protections from abuse by men comes at the expense of men's rights implies both a deeply disconcerting level of disdain for women as a whole, and an almost comprehensive inability to empathize with women on any kind of meaningful level. I would think that, at a minimum, such a person would either be a sexually impotent and frustrated virgin who has never had a girlfriend... or a sex offender.

The reasons why this could be aren't hard to figure out. Somewhere along the way, when men of the kind that I just described were growing up, they failed to see what a healthy relationship looked like. Perhaps their fathers were "old fashioned" militaristic brutes who modeled horrible behavior to their sons. Perhaps they never had girlfriends, and grew to resent all women as result, like Elliot Rodger.

Not all men are like this, obviously. But too many are...

But, what society can do to remediate that problem? How can we, socially and culturally, teach men to respect and empathize with women? What should be done with people like I've described above?

I think we need to have a balance. Some women do take advantage of the men and vice versa. I think that if the men look out for the women and the women look out for the men, it would work easier than if we selfishly work to our own advantage. I'm not a woman-hater (I'm a girl) and I'm not a feminist. In my opinion, men should treat women like ladies and women should treat men like gentlemen. I know this is really idealistic and unlikely, but I have seen that when I act like a lady and treat a man with respect, he turns into the perfect gentleman. In short, I don't think either side is to blame. Both genders have room for improvement.
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