Total Posts:12|Showing Posts:1-12
Jump to topic:

The Troll Box Keeper and his Legacy.

HumptyDumpty
Posts: 7
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2014 3:49:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Hello, dear fruit gardeners. My name is not important.
I have come here to share the story of our order which has once fell and once risen. The reason I am doing this is because our exact origins are from an actual tropical fruit section of the cyberspace.
Now, bare with me, son... I will not tell my story, no. I will only repost old logged posts of our order so you feel our pain and our happiness. The thing is, you should be happy because you exist because of us. Go die if you think otherwise. That is all from me. Now for the logs:

START LOG
December 3rd, 2012, 06:23 PM

Dear people from the CYBERSPACE, I am known as The Troll Box Assistant.
I have come to this thing you mostly know as the "The White Padded Room" to share you my story. My true story. The White Padded Room seems the most legit place to post this. The other sections seem as not the right place for such a post -Therefore I do not wish my writing to be in vain.(Deleted.) Which has led me to the White Padded Room.

This information is sacred. Many few people know this and you have should feel pride in knowing what I am about to tell you.

Troll Box Assistant's log: 01/02/2012

Many few know about the Troll Box and the Troll Box Keeper.

The Troll Box is an artifact made by ARPANET in 1969. The Troll Box was created by a small group of ARPANET internet geeks. The Troll Box IS the most dangerous human weapon of it's kind. It can bend internetz and cyberspace.
The Troll Box feeds from the internetz. It is the thing that powers the internetz and the thing that drains the internetz.
Where is this Troll Box?
The Troll Box was kept into a laboratory for a long time. The crew that invented the Troll Box kept it a secrept from ARPANET. The Troll Box has 2 forms. One is physical and the other one is internetz-ial. The Troll Box is like a PC, only it's medium size(it could fit into a palm) cube-like figure which was hooked to the internet. They knew they invented something big. They had to hide it. They had to keep it somewhere safe. And so a Troll Box keeper was elected, the person that had this power in his hand... He was called The Troll Box Keeper.
Who is The Troll Box Keeper?

The Troll Box Keeper is the ultimate troll... Most speculate he was the first internetz troll. Only the worthiest troll deserves The Troll Box. That's one of the reasons he was chosen. He is the human being that can devistate the whole cyberspace as we know. But he is not that kind of troll. It is said that he swore to use it only against evil. The Troll Box Keeper is like a guardian angel. He trolls now and then but the Troll Box is used only in special REALLY SPECIAL(Not retarded-ly special) cases.
Rumours say that the Troll Box Keeper is a time traveler.
This is a portrait of him:

http://i1234.photobucket.com...

What can the Troll Box do?

The Troll Box is a "parasite". It's host is the internetz. I've spoken to the group that made the Troll Box. They said that at first it was wired, but then it was designed as a wireless device... A device which is hooked to the internetz... Wirelessly... Forever.
The main goal of The Troll Box was to exterminate the internetz, though it has many goals... Such as trolling everyone simotaniously, The Troll Box can hack into every computer connected to the world wide web, it can defuse bombs ( If they are connected to the internet), and The Troll Box can even control UAV's( If they are connected to the internet.). Also if humans some day get connected to the internet, then the The Troll Box can control them also.
This is why a Troll Box Keeper was elected. No one knows the real identity of the Troll Box Keeper.

I will not tell you how I know this information, because the Troll Box Keeper will know about this. If I tell you how I know this information, The Troll Box will defuse my headphones(They are connected to the internetz.), which keep my ears alive. If my headphones are disabled I will loose my hearing forever(And possibly my virginity.). I can not allow this to happen. I'm sorry.

I feel guilty of who I am... So I will admit who I am... I am the Troll Box Assistant. I was once a foe of the Troll Box Keeper but then we realised we should team up for the grater good... for the good of the world wide web.
This is a portrait of me.

http://s1234.photobucket.com...

This isn't how I really look like(Except the tongue.)... But hey... It's a portrait done by a sick man.(Sick as in bad azz.)
I will not tell you who I am. It's another story for another time.
And remember this: The Troll Box Keeper owns the internet. The internet is held in his palm.
[Insert [peaceful] sentence here]

Troll Box Assistant's log : 25/04/2012

I am merely a shadow of this internetz. I am sharing that which I mustn't have shared with you. My Keeper has abandoned me. I am now a dog without it's leash. My Keeper has travelled into the past so he can learn more about the origin of The Troll Box. But he did not go to the late 60's. Instead he went to the year 1199. He said that he found out the real origin of The Troll Box. He said himself that the the Troll Box he had was not made in the late 60's but rather in the year 1199. TTBK informed me that the story with the making of The Troll Box was a cover up. He did not wish to tell me more.
And so he left, taking his Troll Box with him. The last thing he mentioned was "The gnomes have learned the new way to make Troll Boxes."

You are probably asking yourselves "How did The Troll Box Keeper travel back into the past. The answer is simple. We traded a dalek data core(Which was highly valued by an institute known as Torchwood.) for a time agent wrist-strap(Which is used to travel backwards and forwards.)

Now, I am awaiting the return of The Troll Box Keeper.

Troll Box assistant's log 04/09/2012:

The Troll Box Keeper has made a cumputer (Not a computer but a cumputer. Cumputer is constructed of Cuum and wooden logs, much as the first PC computers which looked like the Statue Of Liberty.). He also used The Troll Box to leak pluto's internetz so he can use it in the 10 century( The Troll Box can make internetz travel back and forth in time, similar like a time machine.) So he sent me pictures of his progress. It seems he's met Altair, Gandalf The Grey and Jesus himself. He told me that Jesus had a rifle when he died(The Troll Box Keeper gave him that rifle.) Jesus got killed, raped by arabs and then TTBK(The Troll Box Keeper) came for him and ressurected him with the almighty power of the internetz. He told me that Jesus became his new Troll Box Assistant. And then they travelled in 1199. He explained me that before he went to 1199 he wanted to meet Jesus and ressurect him, so he becomes his faithful companion.

Another cool story he shared with me was that Darth Vader was Jesus's uncle. They brought him also to 1199.

He sent me this picture of his epic adventure.

http://s1234.photobucket.com...

The Troll Box Keeper said that he bought me a blue phonebox from Darth Vader. I would've been honored to have a blue phone box which once belonged to Darh Vader but currently, The Troll Box Keeper only uses me as a s3x slave(Internetzial s3x slave to be precise.), not as an assistant. I am afraid I am going to have to go back in time and eleminate Jesus. I shall have the help of the master assassin Altair to eleminate my target. Once I convince Altair that Jesus was a templar... I shall simply satisfy myself with the result. But should I risk this? If I arrive in a time period when the internetz of pluto has been leaked, then... a world without internetz shall kill me. As I mentioned before, my headphones are connected to the internetz. They are recharged from the internetz. If the internetz leaks out, my brainz will leak out. I also loose my virginity when the internetz leaks out.
HumptyDumpty
Posts: 7
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2014 3:53:08 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I surely can not allow that to happen.

But this is not a problem, as I have discovered the way to put internetz into a tin can. This techology is similar as the oxygen tanks used by NASA, but only way more sexy.

Troll Box Assistant's log: 06/10/2012

I have canned some internetz into... tin cans.

Log 29/11/2012

My people... I come with bad news. It seems your internet will leak out soon. The Troll Box keeper wishes not to share this information with you. What I can tell you is that your internet is in danger.

This is my story. I am mostly known as The Troll Box Assistant.
And so much time has passed that I have finally decided to bid you all with my true physical form.

This is me in real life.

http://s1234.photobucket.com...

http://s1234.photobucket.com...

http://s1234.photobucket.com...

POSSIBLE FINAL LOG : December 4th/2012.

The Troll Box Keeper has been banished from our order. He has betrayed our most sacred rule of all. He defiled the order. Used the Troll Box against us. He has defiled our virginity. I do not know what made him betray our order but what I do know is that I shall do everything to hunt him down and retrieve the Troll Box back to our order. I shall find you, Troll Box Keeper. I shall strip you from your glory and banish you from the internet.

You shall receive... The Banishment
- The Banishment is only applied to traitors of the order. They are banished from the cyberspace and inclined to have a life. The Troll Box Keeper is mostly known as the individual with no life, spending all eternity in the internet/cyberspace. But in the real world he is nothing.

I know the current Troll Box Keeper is reading this. I know he is afraid of my power. I will bend him to my own will and so shall he give me The Troll Box.

Run, Keeper... Run before I catch up. Your time has come to an end.

END OF LOG.

START OF LOG.

December 26th, 2012, 04:08 PM

Firstly, I will start up by explaining myself. Then I will continue with what I have done. And then the debate of your lives.

You are probably asking yourself "Where did the Troll Box Assistant end up?"

Well, the answer is quite simple. He is dead. Well not mentally dead...
I simply implanted his psychological mind into my Dragon Ball Z hard drive. And what happened to his body you ask? It's rotting away.

My ex assistant tried to betray me. He wanted my precious Troll Box for himself. His greed got the best of him.
I did give him the Troll Box but he couldn't handle the power I besought him with. I knew he never had the power capable to handle the great power of the Troll Box. His power level was too weak.
And so I managed to use the Troll Box against him. I modified it, causing my mind to be linked 24/7 with the TB.

He has failed me for the last time. And with him I killed everyone from The Troll Box Order (TTBO). Those fools never did understand why I was chosen.

Now... I am on a quest to kill you all.

You are all the same to me.
My power level shall increase greatly in the next couple years. When my power level reaches the impossible levels, I will do a reverse spirit bomb, draining all the cyberspace from this planet and inputting it into myself.
No one will stop my great power, not even God.

Once the cyberspace is gone the Troll Box will be forced to implode into a supernova, feeding me with it's raw power it has collected. While all of you humans die I will be sucking the cyberspace from other planets in this galaxy. I will rid this universe from the internet.
I will become the most powerful force in this universe and I will take my rightful place as the supreme ruler of the cyberspace.

No one will save you. My Assistant is dead and he can not light any hope for you. All you can do is wait.

[REMOVED LOG SENTENCE]

Now that I have defeated The Troll Box Assistant I might as well embarrass him. Now you will see how much of a fight he put on me. You will all see his true form.

https://www.youtube.com...

[REMOVED LOG SENTENCE]

END OF LOG

[b]This are the logs of our history. Currently the Troll Box Assistant you see on these photos and on the video has been banished to the [color=red][b]Forbidden Zone[/b][/color]. He can only enter the Deep Web for now. A new Assistant has taken his place(not me).
And what of the Troll Box Keeper? His mind was demented for a short while but then he was sent to a mental ward and he regained his cardinal thoughts.

Worry not, children, for we will save you from all the cruel people and mean parts of the internet. We may seem obscene but we are radiant. Our form of protection is intricate, as is the protection of the Troll Box. We will not discharge the Troll Box, we will keep it safe for you. We will apprehend whoever gets in our way.
HumptyDumpty
Posts: 7
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2014 4:32:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/15/2014 4:06:41 PM, alex_heat wrote:
Do you smoke smarties?

What do you like best?
With a condom or with a cum dome?
9spaceking
Posts: 4,213
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/16/2014 4:37:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
the ultimate battle: the troll box versus Imabench + MassiveDump + Jonbonbon + yay
Equestrian election
http://www.debate.org...

This House would impose democracy
http://www.debate.org...

Reign of Terror is unjustified
http://www.debate.org...

Raise min. wage to $10.10
http://www.debate.org...
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/16/2014 5:17:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/16/2014 4:37:18 PM, 9spaceking wrote:
the ultimate battle: the troll box versus Imabench + MassiveDump + Jonbonbon + yay + STALIN + 9spaceking
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
9spaceking
Posts: 4,213
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/16/2014 6:32:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/16/2014 5:17:17 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 7/16/2014 4:37:18 PM, 9spaceking wrote:
the ultimate battle: the troll box versus Imabench + MassiveDump + Jonbonbon + yay + STALIN + 9spaceking

BTW Twi there ain't no Ajab versus Denny debate.

If there was Ajab would win.
Equestrian election
http://www.debate.org...

This House would impose democracy
http://www.debate.org...

Reign of Terror is unjustified
http://www.debate.org...

Raise min. wage to $10.10
http://www.debate.org...
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/16/2014 6:41:52 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/16/2014 6:32:43 PM, 9spaceking wrote:
At 7/16/2014 5:17:17 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 7/16/2014 4:37:18 PM, 9spaceking wrote:
the ultimate battle: the troll box versus Imabench + MassiveDump + Jonbonbon + yay + STALIN + 9spaceking

BTW Twi there ain't no Ajab versus Denny debate.
Yet
If there was Ajab would win.
On the size of a woman's vagina? Yeah sure... (Considering - *censored by the DDO ToS & rule "What happens in a hangout, stays in a hangout")
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.