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Some Thoughts on Recent Forum Events

YYW
Posts: 36,426
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8/31/2014 12:56:40 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
There has been a lot of drama lately, some of it public but most of it not, and I want to advance the following ideas:

Those who make themselves into victims by the nature of their choices do not deserve pity, because their being in a state of victimhood (if they're in such a state) was of their own doing. Suppose for example that one person subtly and passively instigates another into retaliation. If the former knew the latter would or could react in that way, to the extent that the former failed to stop the action he knew would result in the latter's retaliation, the former is culpable. That is not to absolve the latter, but it is to divide accountability on that basis.

If one person, hates another and subjects a third who is associated with the first to their rage (especially because the second is afraid of the first), the second is worthless as a person. Having problems with other people is going to happen, especially where strong personalities meet at the edges of their respective egos. That's ok, and talking about that is not only socially acceptable -it's healthy because it gives both an opportunity to reach some kind of amicable understanding rather than letting whatever conflict (that one person may not even be aware of) smolder over time to metastasize into something else. What is never ok is when a third person, who the second person is not afraid of, becomes the subject of attack by the second because the second is afraid to speak candidly with the first.

Those who make evaluations of other's relationships on the basis of deep-rooted envy, who smolder with fury because someone else has something that the former does not, are morally bankrupt. Envy is not only wrong, it is one of the most psychologically deleterious states of mind that anyone can experience. I think this final scenario needs no further explanation.

I also think that a lot of people think that they're good judges of character, and some might be. I think that most people, especially teenagers and 20-somethigns, are not because they don't have the breadth of life experience to evaluate the actions of others in an objective way. Instead, they measure their evaluation of other's character against how much they like or dislike someone. Insofar as that is the case, having an irrationally hostile conversation with someone about how much you and why you hate someone else because you think they hate you (especially when they didn't) is not prudent.

Most conflicts between people really do begin with miscommunication, which is sad. When emotions run high, people tend to stop thinking rationally and start reacting to situations that are more complicated than they appear on the basis of their visceral response -and doing so is a bad way to go through life.
Tsar of DDO
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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8/31/2014 4:52:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Fully 100% of the drama on this site is really pointless, and I don't know why people care enough to get into it.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
neptune1bond
Posts: 400
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9/2/2014 4:56:56 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I think that if you are going to create an entire new thread in reference to specific discussions and in order to talk about those discussions, then you should actually provide a link to the discussion(s). Even if you don't want to dig up links, at least be specific about what happened in the discussion(s) and who was involved. The reason I think this is that it eliminates guess-work and it allows people to talk about the subject in a more informed and intelligent way. It also allows the person/people being talked about to defend/explain themselves and their actions, creates more of a potential for people to clear misunderstandings, and possibly allows for people to learn how and why they might do things differently. I think that a lack of specifics makes a discussion with any depth almost impossible when it comes to these subjects.

Also, as long as your intention is to discuss in a reasonable way rather than just to bash and insult others, then there is no reason to feel like discussing specific people and their words and/or talking about a specific discussion in another thread should be veiled or avoided. People may pass judgement on you or your opinions about such things, but that's kinda unavoidable and people are doing that anyways (this is a debate website after all and judgement from others is rather inescapable given the content of the topics). It doesn't really do anyone any favors to use hypothetical language and try to remain too politically correct in these circumstances unless, of course, you are trying to privately discuss your grievances specifically with the person/people involved, in which case you should just PM them instead of creating a public thread.

But, if people cannot handle others discussing their thoughts and/or approach to discussion, then they really shouldn't join a debate website (of course taking into account that such things and people can be approached with civility and in an effort to approach the actual problem without simply hurling insults). I, for one, do expect that such discussions might take place about me and the things I say and I accept that fact, although I can't promise that I'll always give a sh*t or necessarily change everything I do if people don't like me or my opinions and/or the way I approach them. I am also saying this with the knowledge that you might possibly be referring to me in some of your post, btw. I do think, though, that it might be best if you send the people involved a message to let them know that they are being discussed in a particular thread so that they might choose whether or not they would like to be involved in the discussion, even in the case where the person being discussed is a total @sshole or troll (in your view).
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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9/2/2014 5:09:12 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 8/31/2014 4:52:36 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
: Fully 100% of the drama on this site is really pointless, and I don't know why people care enough to get into it.

That ^
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.