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Finally, a duck I can respect

thett3
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10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I just witnessed the exploits of a duck that I have no doubt would hand my @ss to me in a fight.

I was celebrating Friday by feeding the ducks at a park. Anyone who's fed ducks a lot will know that sometimes they'll fight. Well, these two ducks were preparing to fight (ducks fight mostly by grabbing each others necks or heads with their bills)--doing the standard posturing, taking jabs at each other. It seemed a pretty evenly matched fight--you can file that under "most wrong predictions ever". Something I've never seen before happened, just as the two were about to go at it and make feathers fly, from out of nowhere another duck came running to attack duck B, who will forever be known as badasss duck. Does badasss duck care that it's now two on one? HELL NO. He's ready to kick some asss, so he does it.

Badasss duck ducks and the other duck TRIPS OVER HIS NECK. Then in one smooth motion, he grabs his original opponents neck with his bill and slams his head into the ground and starts shaking him. The other duck gets up in a daze of confusion only to, impossibly, see badasss ducks bill of justice coming after him and they have a three way pecking match before the other two ducks run away like cowards. A high speed duck chase through to pond then develops as badasss duck chases the cowards across the pond for at least a minute, nipping at their tails until he finally catches one and holds his head underwater for at least 30 seconds before releasing him and coming back to shore a conquering hero.

I've never seen such a performance. I dumped out my entire bag of feed at badasss ducks feet.

I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Geogeer
Posts: 4,274
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10/3/2014 5:14:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:

I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.

http://media.tumblr.com...
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/3/2014 8:00:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/3/2014 5:14:01 PM, Geogeer wrote:
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:

I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.

http://media.tumblr.com...

Duck Norris.
YYW
Posts: 36,296
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10/3/2014 10:25:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:
I just witnessed the exploits of a duck that I have no doubt would hand my @ss to me in a fight.

I was celebrating Friday by feeding the ducks at a park. Anyone who's fed ducks a lot will know that sometimes they'll fight. Well, these two ducks were preparing to fight (ducks fight mostly by grabbing each others necks or heads with their bills)--doing the standard posturing, taking jabs at each other. It seemed a pretty evenly matched fight--you can file that under "most wrong predictions ever". Something I've never seen before happened, just as the two were about to go at it and make feathers fly, from out of nowhere another duck came running to attack duck B, who will forever be known as badasss duck. Does badasss duck care that it's now two on one? HELL NO. He's ready to kick some asss, so he does it.

Badasss duck ducks and the other duck TRIPS OVER HIS NECK. Then in one smooth motion, he grabs his original opponents neck with his bill and slams his head into the ground and starts shaking him. The other duck gets up in a daze of confusion only to, impossibly, see badasss ducks bill of justice coming after him and they have a three way pecking match before the other two ducks run away like cowards. A high speed duck chase through to pond then develops as badasss duck chases the cowards across the pond for at least a minute, nipping at their tails until he finally catches one and holds his head underwater for at least 30 seconds before releasing him and coming back to shore a conquering hero.

I've never seen such a performance. I dumped out my entire bag of feed at badasss ducks feet.

I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.

If there is a thread hall of fame, I'm nominating this.
Tsar of DDO
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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10/4/2014 8:00:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Amazing duck. Did you get his autograph?
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
thett3
Posts: 14,349
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10/8/2014 8:19:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/4/2014 8:57:44 PM, Malacoda wrote:
Have you ever heard of Tom the Turkey?

no?
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
xXCryptoXx
Posts: 5,000
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10/8/2014 8:26:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:
I just witnessed the exploits of a duck that I have no doubt would hand my @ss to me in a fight.

I was celebrating Friday by feeding the ducks at a park. Anyone who's fed ducks a lot will know that sometimes they'll fight. Well, these two ducks were preparing to fight (ducks fight mostly by grabbing each others necks or heads with their bills)--doing the standard posturing, taking jabs at each other. It seemed a pretty evenly matched fight--you can file that under "most wrong predictions ever". Something I've never seen before happened, just as the two were about to go at it and make feathers fly, from out of nowhere another duck came running to attack duck B, who will forever be known as badasss duck. Does badasss duck care that it's now two on one? HELL NO. He's ready to kick some asss, so he does it.

Badasss duck ducks and the other duck TRIPS OVER HIS NECK. Then in one smooth motion, he grabs his original opponents neck with his bill and slams his head into the ground and starts shaking him. The other duck gets up in a daze of confusion only to, impossibly, see badasss ducks bill of justice coming after him and they have a three way pecking match before the other two ducks run away like cowards. A high speed duck chase through to pond then develops as badasss duck chases the cowards across the pond for at least a minute, nipping at their tails until he finally catches one and holds his head underwater for at least 30 seconds before releasing him and coming back to shore a conquering hero.

I've never seen such a performance. I dumped out my entire bag of feed at badasss ducks feet.

I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing :)
Nolite Timere
numberwang
Posts: 1,917
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10/8/2014 8:26:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/3/2014 10:25:58 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:
I just witnessed the exploits of a duck that I have no doubt would hand my @ss to me in a fight.

I was celebrating Friday by feeding the ducks at a park. Anyone who's fed ducks a lot will know that sometimes they'll fight. Well, these two ducks were preparing to fight (ducks fight mostly by grabbing each others necks or heads with their bills)--doing the standard posturing, taking jabs at each other. It seemed a pretty evenly matched fight--you can file that under "most wrong predictions ever". Something I've never seen before happened, just as the two were about to go at it and make feathers fly, from out of nowhere another duck came running to attack duck B, who will forever be known as badasss duck. Does badasss duck care that it's now two on one? HELL NO. He's ready to kick some asss, so he does it.

Badasss duck ducks and the other duck TRIPS OVER HIS NECK. Then in one smooth motion, he grabs his original opponents neck with his bill and slams his head into the ground and starts shaking him. The other duck gets up in a daze of confusion only to, impossibly, see badasss ducks bill of justice coming after him and they have a three way pecking match before the other two ducks run away like cowards. A high speed duck chase through to pond then develops as badasss duck chases the cowards across the pond for at least a minute, nipping at their tails until he finally catches one and holds his head underwater for at least 30 seconds before releasing him and coming back to shore a conquering hero.

I've never seen such a performance. I dumped out my entire bag of feed at badasss ducks feet.

I have no doubts that this duck is a reincarnated pirate, or perhaps a ninja. There's simply no other explanation.

If there is a thread hall of fame, I'm nominating this.

Seconded, this is hilarious
numberwang
Posts: 1,917
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10/8/2014 8:31:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:

I have a question, why didn't you respect the ducks before? How long have you been searching for a duck to respect?
Malacoda
Posts: 294
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10/8/2014 8:59:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/8/2014 8:19:39 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 10/4/2014 8:57:44 PM, Malacoda wrote:
Have you ever heard of Tom the Turkey?

no?

Care to listen to a 15 minute story?

http://www.thisamericanlife.org...
thett3
Posts: 14,349
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10/9/2014 1:02:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/8/2014 8:31:26 PM, numberwang wrote:
At 10/3/2014 1:46:05 PM, thett3 wrote:

I have a question, why didn't you respect the ducks before? How long have you been searching for a duck to respect?

Ever since the pet ducks I had as a child died. We used to go to the lake and catch them minnows as a treat. One day, I decided to feed the minnows to only one of the two ducks as an experiment. The other one figured out what was going on and punched my in the face with his bill. I literally got a black eye. Mad respect for that duck and until now no duck has compared...
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
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10/9/2014 1:03:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/8/2014 8:53:54 PM, UchihaMadara wrote:
That really was a truly inspiring story, though.

Indeed.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
Posts: 14,349
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10/9/2014 1:03:25 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/8/2014 8:59:58 PM, Malacoda wrote:
Tom the Turkey would murder that duck.

I don't know about that...
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
Posts: 14,349
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6/7/2015 12:32:59 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Update: I had two altercations with a goose in the last few days.

The first time, we were walking on this road behind the lake. There were a lot of people doing the same thing because of the Texas floods but they all ran off near this parking lot. As we approached it, I saw these girls fleeing in terror and my inner white knight came out. An ominous hissing noise came from beyond a large, white car. Slowly I went on the other side of a car, and was immediately confronted by an extremely angry extremely aggressive goose with its mate hissing (yes geese hiss, go outside once in a while) and chasing people around. He came to me but instead of running, I leaned down, spread my arms out, and challenged him to fight me. He flew off. I reigned victorious.

That should've been the end, but it wasn't. Only a few days later we went walking along the same road only this time no one else was there. I turn a curve and then suddenly we make eye contact. It's the same goose. I see the surprise in his eye turn to recognition and hatred. He wants a rematch to avenge his humiliation and decides thar he's Gandalf and we shall not pass.

As the weaker member of our flock, he immediately goes for my girlfriend to try and chase her off the road and into the lake. He almost succeeds before I throw myself in front of her like a hero. He knows this fight won't be that easy. He tries to take a quick swipe at me as I run to try and knock me out of the battle, but I dodge it. I spread my arms in fighting stance and like two tomcats we circle each other. He runs at me but I don't flinch. I make a move toward him but the moment I do, he takes a swipe at me with his bill and almost gets me. We are at a stalemate but I take slow, steady steps forward pushing him towards the edge. We slowly walk across his section of the road, he and I facing each other the entire way.

I won this time but barely. I fear our next encounter.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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6/7/2015 12:44:31 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/7/2015 12:32:59 PM, thett3 wrote:
Update: I had two altercations with a goose in the last few days.

The first time, we were walking on this road behind the lake. There were a lot of people doing the same thing because of the Texas floods but they all ran off near this parking lot. As we approached it, I saw these girls fleeing in terror and my inner white knight came out. An ominous hissing noise came from beyond a large, white car. Slowly I went on the other side of a car, and was immediately confronted by an extremely angry extremely aggressive goose with its mate hissing (yes geese hiss, go outside once in a while) and chasing people around. He came to me but instead of running, I leaned down, spread my arms out, and challenged him to fight me. He flew off. I reigned victorious.

That should've been the end, but it wasn't. Only a few days later we went walking along the same road only this time no one else was there. I turn a curve and then suddenly we make eye contact. It's the same goose. I see the surprise in his eye turn to recognition and hatred. He wants a rematch to avenge his humiliation and decides thar he's Gandalf and we shall not pass.

As the weaker member of our flock, he immediately goes for my girlfriend to try and chase her off the road and into the lake. He almost succeeds before I throw myself in front of her like a hero. He knows this fight won't be that easy. He tries to take a quick swipe at me as I run to try and knock me out of the battle, but I dodge it. I spread my arms in fighting stance and like two tomcats we circle each other. He runs at me but I don't flinch. I make a move toward him but the moment I do, he takes a swipe at me with his bill and almost gets me. We are at a stalemate but I take slow, steady steps forward pushing him towards the edge. We slowly walk across his section of the road, he and I facing each other the entire way.

I won this time but barely. I fear our next encounter.

um please. I don't think any self respecting geese can even think about another encounter after that crushing defeat
Romanii
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6/7/2015 12:50:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/7/2015 12:32:59 PM, thett3 wrote:
Update: I had two altercations with a goose in the last few days.

The first time, we were walking on this road behind the lake. There were a lot of people doing the same thing because of the Texas floods but they all ran off near this parking lot. As we approached it, I saw these girls fleeing in terror and my inner white knight came out. An ominous hissing noise came from beyond a large, white car. Slowly I went on the other side of a car, and was immediately confronted by an extremely angry extremely aggressive goose with its mate hissing (yes geese hiss, go outside once in a while) and chasing people around. He came to me but instead of running, I leaned down, spread my arms out, and challenged him to fight me. He flew off. I reigned victorious.

That should've been the end, but it wasn't. Only a few days later we went walking along the same road only this time no one else was there. I turn a curve and then suddenly we make eye contact. It's the same goose. I see the surprise in his eye turn to recognition and hatred. He wants a rematch to avenge his humiliation and decides thar he's Gandalf and we shall not pass.

As the weaker member of our flock, he immediately goes for my girlfriend to try and chase her off the road and into the lake. He almost succeeds before I throw myself in front of her like a hero. He knows this fight won't be that easy. He tries to take a quick swipe at me as I run to try and knock me out of the battle, but I dodge it. I spread my arms in fighting stance and like two tomcats we circle each other. He runs at me but I don't flinch. I make a move toward him but the moment I do, he takes a swipe at me with his bill and almost gets me. We are at a stalemate but I take slow, steady steps forward pushing him towards the edge. We slowly walk across his section of the road, he and I facing each other the entire way.

I won this time but barely. I fear our next encounter.

I am... speechless. Incredible. Wow.
Thett vs. Goose. A truly epic battle. One for the history books, really.
thett3
Posts: 14,349
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6/16/2015 7:03:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Update two:

I was accosted by a squirrel yesterday morning. I was outside and I heard a hateful chattering. I looked up and it was staring at me between a branch, with evil eyes and shaking it's tale, spitting at me. No squirrel challenges me to a fight and gets away with it.I pick up a stick and throw it, he dodges. I throw another and another until I get too close for comfort and he flees.

Later, I was relaxing in our hammock in between the trees when suddenly I was hit from above with squirrel droppings. I have no doubts it's the same squirrel and I have to admit, he got the better of me.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
ESocialBookworm
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6/16/2015 7:05:44 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
This is war!

No one attacks The Thett3, besides Cermank... In their bed!
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

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In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
RevNge
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6/21/2015 9:39:56 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/16/2015 7:03:55 PM, thett3 wrote:
Update two:

I was accosted by a squirrel yesterday morning. I was outside and I heard a hateful chattering. I looked up and it was staring at me between a branch, with evil eyes and shaking it's tale, spitting at me. No squirrel challenges me to a fight and gets away with it.I pick up a stick and throw it, he dodges. I throw another and another until I get too close for comfort and he flees.

Later, I was relaxing in our hammock in between the trees when suddenly I was hit from above with squirrel droppings. I have no doubts it's the same squirrel and I have to admit, he got the better of me.

What is it with animals challenging you to a duel?
thett3
Posts: 14,349
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12/1/2015 7:12:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Something horrifying happened.

Last night I had a dream. Like most dreams it's very unclear but there's a part I remember vividly.

I was in this house looking out the window. A large, ostrich sized white goose wearing a bowtie approached the house...I was incredibly excited! It was beautiful and I wanted to feed it. But as he got close, he looked into my eyes and somehow I knew right then that he was my nemesis.

I immediately barricaded the door, but the goose kept pushing it in. It was like that scene in Jurassic Park when they were desperately trying to hold back that door on the dinosaur before the dumb little blonde girl managed to lock it on the most unrealistic operation system ever. But there was no adorable savior for me. The goose broke down the door, and a long chase began.

The goose was chasing me down the street and I was about to collapse from exhaustion when a hot blonde girl passed and he finally changed course and went after her instead. It was later explained to me in the dream that he was chasing me because I was white and thought I was a white goose but she was even whiter so he went for her.

I have deciphered the meaning of this...that goose I mentioned a few months back? I believe he must have died and this was his way of warning me: it is not over. He's going to hunt down not only me, but my future hot aryan wife, and kick our asses in the spirit world. God help me. Your thoughts and prayers are more than appreciated...
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
1harderthanyouthink
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12/3/2015 6:56:40 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
This was one of the first threads I ever read.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
THsea
Posts: 36
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12/6/2015 4:08:43 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
What a wonderful story! Some animals just have BA (Bad A$$) personalities... I used to have two bunnies, one of them was awful ornery. We had two cats at the time and they were terrified of the bunnies! The one with a bad attitude would charge the cats anytime they were on the floor. They stayed on high ground when the bunnies escaped their cage (their break outs are my favorite stories to tell about them)!

Now I have a BA cat. He starts fights with dogs. He seems to like larger dogs (I found him playing with Mastiffs).. But he will straight up attack any dog the size of a Pomeranian or around that size category.

Keep them coming Thett! I've bookmarked this thread and hope for new crazy stories!