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You think culture matters in a relationship?

Truth_seeker
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10/17/2014 7:48:36 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Despite what people think, we do discriminate against people who are not like us on the basis of race, beliefs, culture, the way we live, the way we dress, politics, etc. I always thought it didn't matter, but because of how the world is at times, i am forced to take it into consideration. People think that because i'm Christian, look good, Spanish, have long hair, etc. that all of a sudden i fit their ideal expectation when i don't. I'm simply way too different than most people and nothing is going to change that.

That's why i'm pretty much done with relationships simply because i fear rejection later. People don't try to understand others or appreciate their uniqueness so that's why i drown out affections because sooner or later they'll realize "oh he's really like that..."

Do you think cultural differences don't matter or that they should?
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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10/17/2014 9:14:29 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Without sounding too much like The Breakfast Club, people who are unique usually come together with other people who are unique. It doesn't mean those people are all alike - just that they have being "different" in common. Instead of getting pessimistic and giving up on relationships, be open to meeting someone who is cool and both appreciates and emulates authenticity. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to accept others' differences. Most people are insecure though and judge you based on their preconceived notions to make themselves comfortable, rather than be genuinely open and appreciative of who you are. It sucks, but there are decent and even awesome people out there. Be open minded and wait for someone who is open minded. That should transcend cultural barriers if the other right aspects of a relationship are in place.
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Truth_seeker
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10/17/2014 9:39:45 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 9:14:29 AM, Danielle wrote:
Without sounding too much like The Breakfast Club, people who are unique usually come together with other people who are unique. It doesn't mean those people are all alike - just that they have being "different" in common. Instead of getting pessimistic and giving up on relationships, be open to meeting someone who is cool and both appreciates and emulates authenticity. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to accept others' differences. Most people are insecure though and judge you based on their preconceived notions to make themselves comfortable, rather than be genuinely open and appreciative of who you are. It sucks, but there are decent and even awesome people out there. Be open minded and wait for someone who is open minded. That should transcend cultural barriers if the other right aspects of a relationship are in place.

lol on the 1st part, but yea. One of my friends from church told me "..you know you are too different from most people and how you present your views is too straightforward, so realize that yea you can believe in what you want, but your probably going to be alone." That had me thinking for quite a while. You can't change someone, but you can accept them for who they are and appreciate their differences. I can be pessimistic at times, but hopefully i can find someone who is open-minded.
VelCrow
Posts: 1,273
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10/17/2014 9:55:27 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 9:39:45 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:14:29 AM, Danielle wrote:
Without sounding too much like The Breakfast Club, people who are unique usually come together with other people who are unique. It doesn't mean those people are all alike - just that they have being "different" in common. Instead of getting pessimistic and giving up on relationships, be open to meeting someone who is cool and both appreciates and emulates authenticity. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to accept others' differences. Most people are insecure though and judge you based on their preconceived notions to make themselves comfortable, rather than be genuinely open and appreciative of who you are. It sucks, but there are decent and even awesome people out there. Be open minded and wait for someone who is open minded. That should transcend cultural barriers if the other right aspects of a relationship are in place.

lol on the 1st part, but yea. One of my friends from church told me "..you know you are too different from most people and how you present your views is too straightforward, so realize that yea you can believe in what you want, but your probably going to be alone." That had me thinking for quite a while. You can't change someone, but you can accept them for who they are and appreciate their differences. I can be pessimistic at times, but hopefully i can find someone who is open-minded.

That's how you tell if your friends are true friends. I used to have the same issue. I now judge people before opening up totally. As a matter of fact, I have many friends now. But those friends don't see the me behind the mask I wear. On the plus side, I have 2 true friends whom I can be totally myself with. And they are straightforward with me too. I believe one day you will find true friends too.

Either way, you still have us here on DDO :)
"Ah....So when god "Taught you" online, did he have a user name like "Darthmaulrules1337", and did he talk in all caps?" ~ Axonly

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Truth_seeker
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10/17/2014 10:03:45 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 9:55:27 AM, VelCrow wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:39:45 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:14:29 AM, Danielle wrote:
Without sounding too much like The Breakfast Club, people who are unique usually come together with other people who are unique. It doesn't mean those people are all alike - just that they have being "different" in common. Instead of getting pessimistic and giving up on relationships, be open to meeting someone who is cool and both appreciates and emulates authenticity. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to accept others' differences. Most people are insecure though and judge you based on their preconceived notions to make themselves comfortable, rather than be genuinely open and appreciative of who you are. It sucks, but there are decent and even awesome people out there. Be open minded and wait for someone who is open minded. That should transcend cultural barriers if the other right aspects of a relationship are in place.

lol on the 1st part, but yea. One of my friends from church told me "..you know you are too different from most people and how you present your views is too straightforward, so realize that yea you can believe in what you want, but your probably going to be alone." That had me thinking for quite a while. You can't change someone, but you can accept them for who they are and appreciate their differences. I can be pessimistic at times, but hopefully i can find someone who is open-minded.

That's how you tell if your friends are true friends. I used to have the same issue. I now judge people before opening up totally. As a matter of fact, I have many friends now. But those friends don't see the me behind the mask I wear. On the plus side, I have 2 true friends whom I can be totally myself with. And they are straightforward with me too. I believe one day you will find true friends too.

Either way, you still have us here on DDO :)

Yea i know that's why i stopped talking to alot of people (with the exception of some, i'm cool with them, but it's hard to keep up with ppl) Most people don't see behind the mask i wear either. I can only think of probably one person who is the closest of seeing it. I don't trust too many people because they always have to be so judgmental, but thanks :)
VelCrow
Posts: 1,273
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10/17/2014 10:05:52 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 10:03:45 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:55:27 AM, VelCrow wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:39:45 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:14:29 AM, Danielle wrote:
Without sounding too much like The Breakfast Club, people who are unique usually come together with other people who are unique. It doesn't mean those people are all alike - just that they have being "different" in common. Instead of getting pessimistic and giving up on relationships, be open to meeting someone who is cool and both appreciates and emulates authenticity. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to accept others' differences. Most people are insecure though and judge you based on their preconceived notions to make themselves comfortable, rather than be genuinely open and appreciative of who you are. It sucks, but there are decent and even awesome people out there. Be open minded and wait for someone who is open minded. That should transcend cultural barriers if the other right aspects of a relationship are in place.

lol on the 1st part, but yea. One of my friends from church told me "..you know you are too different from most people and how you present your views is too straightforward, so realize that yea you can believe in what you want, but your probably going to be alone." That had me thinking for quite a while. You can't change someone, but you can accept them for who they are and appreciate their differences. I can be pessimistic at times, but hopefully i can find someone who is open-minded.

That's how you tell if your friends are true friends. I used to have the same issue. I now judge people before opening up totally. As a matter of fact, I have many friends now. But those friends don't see the me behind the mask I wear. On the plus side, I have 2 true friends whom I can be totally myself with. And they are straightforward with me too. I believe one day you will find true friends too.

Either way, you still have us here on DDO :)

Yea i know that's why i stopped talking to alot of people (with the exception of some, i'm cool with them, but it's hard to keep up with ppl) Most people don't see behind the mask i wear either. I can only think of probably one person who is the closest of seeing it. I don't trust too many people because they always have to be so judgmental, but thanks :)

yea.. sheep mentality sucks.. but in a way I'm happy to be unique. you too should embrace that. have a great evening :)
"Ah....So when god "Taught you" online, did he have a user name like "Darthmaulrules1337", and did he talk in all caps?" ~ Axonly

http://www.debate.org...
VelCrow
Posts: 1,273
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10/17/2014 10:16:19 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 10:10:02 AM, Greyparrot wrote:
Unique...just like everyone else :p

We are all same in a different way XD oxymorons never fail to entertain me..
"Ah....So when god "Taught you" online, did he have a user name like "Darthmaulrules1337", and did he talk in all caps?" ~ Axonly

http://www.debate.org...
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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10/17/2014 10:27:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 10:05:52 AM, VelCrow wrote:
At 10/17/2014 10:03:45 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:55:27 AM, VelCrow wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:39:45 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/17/2014 9:14:29 AM, Danielle wrote:
Without sounding too much like The Breakfast Club, people who are unique usually come together with other people who are unique. It doesn't mean those people are all alike - just that they have being "different" in common. Instead of getting pessimistic and giving up on relationships, be open to meeting someone who is cool and both appreciates and emulates authenticity. Being comfortable with who you are allows you to accept others' differences. Most people are insecure though and judge you based on their preconceived notions to make themselves comfortable, rather than be genuinely open and appreciative of who you are. It sucks, but there are decent and even awesome people out there. Be open minded and wait for someone who is open minded. That should transcend cultural barriers if the other right aspects of a relationship are in place.

lol on the 1st part, but yea. One of my friends from church told me "..you know you are too different from most people and how you present your views is too straightforward, so realize that yea you can believe in what you want, but your probably going to be alone." That had me thinking for quite a while. You can't change someone, but you can accept them for who they are and appreciate their differences. I can be pessimistic at times, but hopefully i can find someone who is open-minded.

That's how you tell if your friends are true friends. I used to have the same issue. I now judge people before opening up totally. As a matter of fact, I have many friends now. But those friends don't see the me behind the mask I wear. On the plus side, I have 2 true friends whom I can be totally myself with. And they are straightforward with me too. I believe one day you will find true friends too.

Either way, you still have us here on DDO :)

Yea i know that's why i stopped talking to alot of people (with the exception of some, i'm cool with them, but it's hard to keep up with ppl) Most people don't see behind the mask i wear either. I can only think of probably one person who is the closest of seeing it. I don't trust too many people because they always have to be so judgmental, but thanks :)

yea.. sheep mentality sucks.. but in a way I'm happy to be unique. you too should embrace that. have a great evening :)

haha thanks :) I will be unique so who cares what others think.
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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10/17/2014 10:33:37 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 10:10:02 AM, Greyparrot wrote:
Unique...just like everyone else :p

lol true that. We should just embrace our own differences and stop trying to change people you know. That's why i fear being in a relationship because my girl might demand that i cut my hair, change my beliefs, change my style, etc. or she may not like me anymore after that, so i just don't go for anyone unless we can get to the point where we can trust each other enough that we will not be judgmental or demanding of each other.
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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10/17/2014 11:07:19 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/17/2014 10:16:19 AM, VelCrow wrote:
At 10/17/2014 10:10:02 AM, Greyparrot wrote:
Unique...just like everyone else :p

We are all same in a different way XD oxymorons never fail to entertain me..

LOL! very true btw.