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If your spouse died, would you remarry?

Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 4:17:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Curious about your response to this. If I had a spouse who died, I would be so heartbroken that I would choose to never marry another woman again. This is not just another girlfriend that you can just pick up and start again. For me, I guess I never been in an official relationship so I don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly. Once they die, that's it for me because I have given all there is of me. There would be a part of me, a love i shared, a pain i endured, a world i saw built with my wife that cannot be shared with anyone else. I would lose the ability to love another "romantically" because there would never be another woman to replace the one that I lost.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,278
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10/21/2014 4:29:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I would not remarry. That's me saying that as a 20 year old however. But I can't see myself remarrying after such a loss.
The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realizethat the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I said to myself,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said to myself, "This too is meaningless."
For the wise, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
the days have already come when both have been forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise too must die!
- Ecclesiastes 2:14-16
bsh1
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10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.
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Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?
bsh1
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10/21/2014 6:53:52 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?

I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life lonely--and I hope that my spouse wouldn't want that either.

At the same time, I want to respect their memory, which to me requires having a temporal buffer zone between the time they die and the time I even think about dating again.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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SamStevens
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10/21/2014 7:03:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 4:17:44 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Curious about your response to this. If I had a spouse who died, I would be so heartbroken that I would choose to never marry another woman again. This is not just another girlfriend that you can just pick up and start again. For me, I guess I never been in an official relationship so I don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly. Once they die, that's it for me because I have given all there is of me. There would be a part of me, a love i shared, a pain i endured, a world i saw built with my wife that cannot be shared with anyone else. I would lose the ability to love another "romantically" because there would never be another woman to replace the one that I lost.

In my opinion, it would depend on the person.

After a pet dies, some people are ready to get a new one after a couple days, and some after a couple years.

After a spouse died, some people are ready to get a new one after a short period of time, and others after a couple years.

It is essentially the same relationship minus the pet being a human and having sexual intercourse.
"This is the true horror of religion. It allows perfectly decent and sane people to believe by the billions, what only lunatics could believe on their own." Sam Harris
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death responded: "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth."
Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 7:19:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 6:53:52 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?

I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life lonely--and I hope that my spouse wouldn't want that either.

At the same time, I want to respect their memory, which to me requires having a temporal buffer zone between the time they die and the time I even think about dating again.

Oh I see, I cannot do it lol. If I get with someone, I just can't let them go. Although I do see your perspective though.
bsh1
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10/21/2014 7:23:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:19:55 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:53:52 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?

I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life lonely--and I hope that my spouse wouldn't want that either.

At the same time, I want to respect their memory, which to me requires having a temporal buffer zone between the time they die and the time I even think about dating again.

Oh I see, I cannot do it lol. If I get with someone, I just can't let them go. Although I do see your perspective though.

I am of course telling you what I think atm. My POV will change with time and may certainly change after the death of a spouse I loved.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 8:33:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:03:23 PM, SamStevens wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:17:44 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Curious about your response to this. If I had a spouse who died, I would be so heartbroken that I would choose to never marry another woman again. This is not just another girlfriend that you can just pick up and start again. For me, I guess I never been in an official relationship so I don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly. Once they die, that's it for me because I have given all there is of me. There would be a part of me, a love i shared, a pain i endured, a world i saw built with my wife that cannot be shared with anyone else. I would lose the ability to love another "romantically" because there would never be another woman to replace the one that I lost.

In my opinion, it would depend on the person.


After a pet dies, some people are ready to get a new one after a couple days, and some after a couple years.

After a spouse died, some people are ready to get a new one after a short period of time, and others after a couple years.

It is essentially the same relationship minus the pet being a human and having sexual intercourse.

What do you mean?
SamStevens
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10/21/2014 8:35:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:33:29 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:03:23 PM, SamStevens wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:17:44 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Curious about your response to this. If I had a spouse who died, I would be so heartbroken that I would choose to never marry another woman again. This is not just another girlfriend that you can just pick up and start again. For me, I guess I never been in an official relationship so I don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly. Once they die, that's it for me because I have given all there is of me. There would be a part of me, a love i shared, a pain i endured, a world i saw built with my wife that cannot be shared with anyone else. I would lose the ability to love another "romantically" because there would never be another woman to replace the one that I lost.

In my opinion, it would depend on the person.


After a pet dies, some people are ready to get a new one after a couple days, and some after a couple years.

After a spouse died, some people are ready to get a new one after a short period of time, and others after a couple years.

It is essentially the same relationship minus the pet being a human and having sexual intercourse.

What do you mean?

That the time for someone to remarry is the same thing as the time someone decides to get a new pet.

Some people get a new pet right away, or years later. Some people never get a new pet.

Same can be applied to a spouse.
"This is the true horror of religion. It allows perfectly decent and sane people to believe by the billions, what only lunatics could believe on their own." Sam Harris
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death responded: "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth."
VelCrow
Posts: 1,387
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10/21/2014 8:49:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 4:17:44 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Curious about your response to this. If I had a spouse who died, I would be so heartbroken that I would choose to never marry another woman again. This is not just another girlfriend that you can just pick up and start again. For me, I guess I never been in an official relationship so I don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly. Once they die, that's it for me because I have given all there is of me. There would be a part of me, a love i shared, a pain i endured, a world i saw built with my wife that cannot be shared with anyone else. I would lose the ability to love another "romantically" because there would never be another woman to replace the one that I lost.

If I died, I would want my spouse to move on and find love and to love and be loved because love is a wonderful thing. Thus by that logic, she would also want me to move on too.
Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 8:58:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:23:06 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:19:55 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:53:52 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?

I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life lonely--and I hope that my spouse wouldn't want that either.

At the same time, I want to respect their memory, which to me requires having a temporal buffer zone between the time they die and the time I even think about dating again.

Oh I see, I cannot do it lol. If I get with someone, I just can't let them go. Although I do see your perspective though.

I am of course telling you what I think atm. My POV will change with time and may certainly change after the death of a spouse I loved.

Yea maybe mine will too. I lost a couple of people in my life, don't want to lose others.
bsh1
Posts: 28,166
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10/21/2014 9:01:02 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:58:46 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:23:06 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:19:55 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:53:52 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?

I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life lonely--and I hope that my spouse wouldn't want that either.

At the same time, I want to respect their memory, which to me requires having a temporal buffer zone between the time they die and the time I even think about dating again.

Oh I see, I cannot do it lol. If I get with someone, I just can't let them go. Although I do see your perspective though.

I am of course telling you what I think atm. My POV will change with time and may certainly change after the death of a spouse I loved.

Yea maybe mine will too. I lost a couple of people in my life, don't want to lose others.

That's understandable.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 9:09:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:49:05 PM, VelCrow wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:17:44 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Curious about your response to this. If I had a spouse who died, I would be so heartbroken that I would choose to never marry another woman again. This is not just another girlfriend that you can just pick up and start again. For me, I guess I never been in an official relationship so I don't know what it's like to love someone wholeheartedly. Once they die, that's it for me because I have given all there is of me. There would be a part of me, a love i shared, a pain i endured, a world i saw built with my wife that cannot be shared with anyone else. I would lose the ability to love another "romantically" because there would never be another woman to replace the one that I lost.

If I died, I would want my spouse to move on and find love and to love and be loved because love is a wonderful thing. Thus by that logic, she would also want me to move on too.

Good point as well.
Truth_seeker
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10/21/2014 10:33:40 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 9:01:02 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 8:58:46 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:23:06 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:19:55 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:53:52 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 6:41:58 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 4:40:13 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Maybe, if I found someone I loved--though that love would be different. But, I certainly wouldn't remarry within 5 years of my spouse's death.

Any particular reason?

I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life lonely--and I hope that my spouse wouldn't want that either.

At the same time, I want to respect their memory, which to me requires having a temporal buffer zone between the time they die and the time I even think about dating again.

Oh I see, I cannot do it lol. If I get with someone, I just can't let them go. Although I do see your perspective though.

I am of course telling you what I think atm. My POV will change with time and may certainly change after the death of a spouse I loved.

Yea maybe mine will too. I lost a couple of people in my life, don't want to lose others.

That's understandable.

I appreciate your honesty lol.
thett3
Posts: 15,146
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10/21/2014 10:50:11 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Hard to say. I hope that I would find someone else. I hope my future spouse knows that if I died I would want them to find someone else
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bsh1
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10/21/2014 11:53:47 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 10:33:40 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 10/21/2014 9:01:02 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/21/2014 8:58:46 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Yea maybe mine will too. I lost a couple of people in my life, don't want to lose others.

That's understandable.

I appreciate your honesty lol.

Sure thing.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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Wylted
Posts: 23,047
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10/21/2014 11:56:56 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I'm engaged. I'm not sure what I'd do? But I'd certainly wish the best for my Fiance and would hope any attachment she had with me, wouldn't cause her to miss out on settling down with a great guy she could enjoy the rest of her life with.