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I need advice.

SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/21/2014 7:43:12 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

Was it confidential or just private? If you tell your doctor about something, that's confidential. If you tell your sister about it, that's just private. The first represents a legal obligation, the second is just courtesy.

Regardless, if you don't trust him then you should get a new trainer.
YYW
Posts: 36,394
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10/21/2014 8:04:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

What do you want to achieve out of the situation?
Tsar of DDO
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/21/2014 8:04:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:43:12 PM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

Was it confidential or just private? If you tell your doctor about something, that's confidential. If you tell your sister about it, that's just private. The first represents a legal obligation, the second is just courtesy.

Regardless, if you don't trust him then you should get a new trainer.
I will. I am going to tell him that I am not okay with him violating my right to privacy like that.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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10/21/2014 8:06:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
This is not acceptable, and you should approach him mannerly and settle things down. I do not know how important it was for you that he withheld the information, but you are, nevertheless, right in being irritated.
PotBelliedGeek
Posts: 4,298
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10/21/2014 8:41:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

It depends on your age and the topic of the secret. Did you confide in him an intent to harm yourself or others? Are you under 18? Things like that.
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HUFFLEPUFF FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
VelCrow
Posts: 1,273
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10/21/2014 8:46:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:41:15 PM, PotBelliedGeek wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

It depends on your age and the topic of the secret. Did you confide in him an intent to harm yourself or others? Are you under 18? Things like that.

agreed. its hard to judge without knowing the full story
"Ah....So when god "Taught you" online, did he have a user name like "Darthmaulrules1337", and did he talk in all caps?" ~ Axonly

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SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/21/2014 8:47:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:41:15 PM, PotBelliedGeek wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

It depends on your age and the topic of the secret. Did you confide in him an intent to harm yourself or others? Are you under 18? Things like that.
1. I am 33. 2. I did not say that I would harm self or others. I just told him that I smoked a ciggy. 3. Even if I was under age, I still have the right to privacy if I am not hurting anyone.
PotBelliedGeek
Posts: 4,298
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10/21/2014 8:48:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:47:31 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
At 10/21/2014 8:41:15 PM, PotBelliedGeek wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

It depends on your age and the topic of the secret. Did you confide in him an intent to harm yourself or others? Are you under 18? Things like that.
1. I am 33. 2. I did not say that I would harm self or others. I just told him that I smoked a ciggy. 3. Even if I was under age, I still have the right to privacy if I am not hurting anyone.

Well then in that case he had no business telling anyone about your stuff. You need to go to him and establish boundaries, or get a new trainer.
Religion Forum Ambassador

HUFFLEPUFF FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/21/2014 9:06:37 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 8:48:49 PM, PotBelliedGeek wrote:
At 10/21/2014 8:47:31 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
At 10/21/2014 8:41:15 PM, PotBelliedGeek wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

It depends on your age and the topic of the secret. Did you confide in him an intent to harm yourself or others? Are you under 18? Things like that.
1. I am 33. 2. I did not say that I would harm self or others. I just told him that I smoked a ciggy. 3. Even if I was under age, I still have the right to privacy if I am not hurting anyone.

Well then in that case he had no business telling anyone about your stuff. You need to go to him and establish boundaries, or get a new trainer.

Fair enough. I will. :)
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/22/2014 12:02:22 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

He's a d!ck but on the other hand, you're old enough to know that if you told 1 person it's no different than telling everybody.
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/22/2014 2:36:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 12:02:22 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

He's a d!ck but on the other hand, you're old enough to know that if you told 1 person it's no different than telling everybody.

I have the reasonable right to privacy. I did not consent to him telling my personal business.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/22/2014 2:51:51 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 2:36:55 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
At 10/22/2014 12:02:22 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

He's a d!ck but on the other hand, you're old enough to know that if you told 1 person it's no different than telling everybody.

I have the reasonable right to privacy. I did not consent to him telling my personal business.

I agree with you. I guess that wasn't clear because of how I phrased that.
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/22/2014 3:01:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 2:51:51 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/22/2014 2:36:55 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
At 10/22/2014 12:02:22 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

He's a d!ck but on the other hand, you're old enough to know that if you told 1 person it's no different than telling everybody.

I have the reasonable right to privacy. I did not consent to him telling my personal business.

I agree with you. I guess that wasn't clear because of how I phrased that.

Thank you. I misunderstood. Sorry.
queenofmayhem
Posts: 132
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10/22/2014 8:16:51 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
You do have the right to privacy in all scenarios with a certified counselor/therapist UNLESS you express thoughts/notions/confessions to hurting yourself or someone else.

So yes you do have right to privacy, but a personal trainer is not bound by contract or law to adhere to this.

Even if they were bound by law, if you express thoughts/notions/confessions to hurting yourself or another, everyone (yes, whoever you tell, no matter who they are) is bound by law to go to an official/certified adult.

Think before you speak.
RoyLatham
Posts: 4,488
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10/22/2014 8:36:56 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Get a new trainer, one with the common sense to shut up about private matters. It has nothing to do rights or legalities. It has to do with associating with idiots.
ElCorazonAma
Posts: 781
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10/23/2014 11:28:09 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

Might I ask was what you told him concerning of life and death situation? If so, then I can reason with why it was permissible for him to let your Mom know.

However, if it was something else, then, I think it was considerate and yes possibly violating for him to do that. There is nothing wrong with venting or confiding to someone else outside your family, and to abuse that is not trustworthy, but forgiveness can be given as well.

Im all though, my apoligies to learn of your situation though. :/
Best wishes to you.
The verb is real but the adjective is only a hypothetical ideal. ~ Freedo
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/23/2014 11:40:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 11:28:09 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:31:49 PM, SitaraMusica wrote:
I told my personal trainer something in confidence, and he violated that trust by telling my mother. I am very angry at him. I have the right to privacy. He had no right to open his mouth. How do I deal with this? There is no way I am going to trust him after this.

Might I ask was what you told him concerning of life and death situation? If so, then I can reason with why it was permissible for him to let your Mom know.

However, if it was something else, then, I think it was considerate and yes possibly violating for him to do that. There is nothing wrong with venting or confiding to someone else outside your family, and to abuse that is not trustworthy, but forgiveness can be given as well.

Im all though, my apoligies to learn of your situation though. :/
Best wishes to you.

I told him that I smoked a ciggy. That is all I told him. I do not trust him any more.
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/23/2014 11:41:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 8:36:56 PM, RoyLatham wrote:
Get a new trainer, one with the common sense to shut up about private matters. It has nothing to do rights or legalities. It has to do with associating with idiots.

Yes it does have to do with rights. I have the right to privacy.
SitaraMusica
Posts: 1,060
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10/23/2014 11:44:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 8:16:51 PM, queenofmayhem wrote:
You do have the right to privacy in all scenarios with a certified counselor/therapist UNLESS you express thoughts/notions/confessions to hurting yourself or someone else.

So yes you do have right to privacy, but a personal trainer is not bound by contract or law to adhere to this.

Even if they were bound by law, if you express thoughts/notions/confessions to hurting yourself or another, everyone (yes, whoever you tell, no matter who they are) is bound by law to go to an official/certified adult.

Think before you speak.
I have the right to privacy no matter what. I have done nothing wrong. I never said that I was going to hurt someone. All I said was that I smoked a ciggy, and he had to open his fat mouth to my mother.