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I am either heteromantic, or demisexual!

Ajabi
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10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.
18Karl
Posts: 351
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10/23/2014 6:22:57 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.

Labeling is the way of the illuminati.
praise the lord Chin Chin
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
To be honest with you I've had a low sex drive myself for a while. I'm definitely heterosexual and I like having sex with lot's of different women for the game aspect, but once I'm romantically involved with somebody I have no desire for sex. Sometimes I pretend to have a high sex drive so my fiance doesn't think something is wrong with her.

Honestly though, I could never have sex again and it wouldn't bother me. Also I don't think it's common at your age but having your testosterone level checked may be of some benefit. Sometimes low testosterone levels can result in a low sex drive.

You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 6:40:58 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

http://www.apositive.org...
LifeMeansGodIsGood
Posts: 2,744
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10/23/2014 6:56:34 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Are you a man or a woman? Why not simply be what you are instead of trying to find meaning in strange definitions?
Subutai
Posts: 3,253
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10/23/2014 6:59:29 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:
You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

What's so hard to get people to believe that asexuality doesn't exist?
I'm becoming less defined as days go by, fading away, and well you might say, I'm losing focus, kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/23/2014 7:10:00 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

I didn't experience sexual attraction until my early 20s. A friend of mine admitted that she had sexual fantasies about me, and it basically flipped a switch in my brain. In about 30 seconds, I went from having an abstract appreciation of her beauty to having an overwhelming hunger for her naked flesh. However, when I look at other girls, I still see their beauty in the abstract. Basically, I need to be turned on by a woman's brain before I can be turned on by her body.

If this sounds like you, then you're straight.
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/23/2014 7:18:32 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:

You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

Asexuality is not a myth. It's true that most people who identify as asexual would not qualify under the layperson's definition. However, there are people who genuinely feel no sexual attraction, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, and find the thought of it alien and repulsive.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 7:39:18 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 7:18:32 AM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:

You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

Asexuality is not a myth. It's true that most people who identify as asexual would not qualify under the layperson's definition. However, there are people who genuinely feel no sexual attraction, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, and find the thought of it alien and repulsive.

I linked to an article by a doctorate of psychology stating it was a myth and the reasons for his conclusion. If you'd like to accept the BOP that asexuality in fact in fact a sexual orientation and exists and challenge me to a debate on the topic, I'd gladly accept.

I understand why people believe asexuality exists and believe they may in fact be one, but they are mistaken.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 7:40:42 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:59:29 AM, Subutai wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:
You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

What's so hard to get people to believe that asexuality doesn't exist?

I'm not sure if that was rhetorical but I'll answer anyway. It has to do with having an emotional attachment to their belief system.
Subutai
Posts: 3,253
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10/23/2014 8:57:56 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 7:40:42 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:59:29 AM, Subutai wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:
You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

What's so hard to get people to believe that asexuality doesn't exist?

I'm not sure if that was rhetorical but I'll answer anyway. It has to do with having an emotional attachment to their belief system.

I was not being rhetorical. How hard is it for you to believe that I don't have sexual feelings when you're having trouble having them yourself?
I'm becoming less defined as days go by, fading away, and well you might say, I'm losing focus, kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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10/23/2014 8:59:16 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
To be honest I knew I'd get these responses; it is so interesting to see how people treat these problems.

Myself, I think I may eventually fall for someone: I do not have 'sexual desires' for anyone though. I'd carry on a romantic relationship with a girl, but I just dont see the need. lol.

I have sometimes felt attracted to girls, I do sometimes now too. Its hardly for more than a day or so: and I do not like them ever enough that I'd have sex. Sec is yucky.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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10/23/2014 9:04:09 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.

Do you have any idea how confusing this is for me?!? I mean I do dislike sex, I just find it yucky, but then I have had crushes on girls. Even when I have had crushes in the past I did not enter relationships though, because the thought of touchy touchy made me feel weird. Now it just feels disgusting.

So yeah I do find girls pretty, but then I think men are pretty too? I think Emma Watson is pretty, I think Leonardo di Caprio is pretty. Am I attracted to either of them? No. I mean there are times that I might have dreams about women (I have never had dreams about men...unless you count another naked man alongside a woman in a weird threesome a few years ago...ew 0.o); but I dont know. Its super frustrating because all of my friends and family laughs at me.

Its hard you know, but in the end no matter how hard I try; I cannot for the life of me be sexually charged towards anything. I might be feeling horny someday with a boner, but the thought of having sex with women, men, goats, or even pie attracts me not in the least.

Hai hai hai.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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10/23/2014 9:05:40 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:56:34 AM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Are you a man or a woman? Why not simply be what you are instead of trying to find meaning in strange definitions?

I'm a man bro. -_- I just dont like the thought of sex.
Dennybug
Posts: 711
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10/23/2014 9:32:42 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Or maybe just gay <3
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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10/23/2014 9:34:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 9:32:42 AM, Dennybug wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Or maybe just gay <3

Only with you my beloved lianchai!
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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10/23/2014 9:36:36 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 9:04:09 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.

Do you have any idea how confusing this is for me?!? I mean I do dislike sex, I just find it yucky, but then I have had crushes on girls. Even when I have had crushes in the past I did not enter relationships though, because the thought of touchy touchy made me feel weird. Now it just feels disgusting.

So yeah I do find girls pretty, but then I think men are pretty too? I think Emma Watson is pretty, I think Leonardo di Caprio is pretty. Am I attracted to either of them? No. I mean there are times that I might have dreams about women (I have never had dreams about men...unless you count another naked man alongside a woman in a weird threesome a few years ago...ew 0.o); but I dont know. Its super frustrating because all of my friends and family laughs at me.

Its hard you know, but in the end no matter how hard I try; I cannot for the life of me be sexually charged towards anything. I might be feeling horny someday with a boner, but the thought of having sex with women, men, goats, or even pie attracts me not in the least.

Hai hai hai.

*sigh* You do realize you're just an average 17 year old right? You don't have a problem...

I didn't want to have sex until I was 18 and when I first had it I hated it. Then I found someone who I really love and now its great and I no longer hate it. The sad fact is sex is "yucky" sometimes. Its certaintly not the cleanest or purest thing in the world. You don't have a problem just chill. You'll find someone you're attracted to one day.
zmikecuber
Posts: 4,093
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10/23/2014 2:32:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 8:59:16 AM, Ajabi wrote:
To be honest I knew I'd get these responses; it is so interesting to see how people treat these problems.

Myself, I think I may eventually fall for someone: I do not have 'sexual desires' for anyone though. I'd carry on a romantic relationship with a girl, but I just dont see the need. lol.

I have sometimes felt attracted to girls, I do sometimes now too. Its hardly for more than a day or so: and I do not like them ever enough that I'd have sex. Sec is yucky.

u men seks/
"Delete your fvcking sig" -1hard

"primal man had the habit, when he came into contact with fire, of satisfying the infantile desire connected with it, by putting it out with a stream of his urine... Putting out the fire by micturating was therefore a kind of sexual act with a male, an enjoyment of sexual potency in a homosexual competition."
Otokage
Posts: 2,360
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10/23/2014 5:33:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Just grow up a little more, have some sex, and then tell us what you think of it.
Otokage
Posts: 2,360
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10/23/2014 5:34:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:22:57 AM, 18Karl wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.

Labeling is the way of the illuminati.

Madonna is the prophet of illuminati. Just saying.
18Karl
Posts: 351
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10/23/2014 6:43:54 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 5:34:21 PM, Otokage wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:22:57 AM, 18Karl wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 5:20:33 AM, Ajabi wrote:
So further researching would conclude that I am either a heteromantic, which means that I can have emotional, and romantic relationships, so long as no sex is involved. Or I may be demisexual which means I would develop sexual feelings after a long relationship period. Since I have never had a relationship I cannot know.

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.

Labeling is the way of the illuminati.

Madonna is the prophet of illuminati. Just saying.

I am
praise the lord Chin Chin
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/23/2014 7:01:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 7:39:18 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 7:18:32 AM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:

You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

Asexuality is not a myth. It's true that most people who identify as asexual would not qualify under the layperson's definition. However, there are people who genuinely feel no sexual attraction, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, and find the thought of it alien and repulsive.

I linked to an article by a doctorate of psychology stating it was a myth and the reasons for his conclusion. If you'd like to accept the BOP that asexuality in fact in fact a sexual orientation and exists and challenge me to a debate on the topic, I'd gladly accept.

I understand why people believe asexuality exists and believe they may in fact be one, but they are mistaken.

Your article is just semantics. It doesn't matter if asexuality is an "orientation" or not (personally, I think orientations are more a social construct than anything else). It doesn't matter if it's caused by endocrine deficiencies, neurological mis-wiring or the goddamn tooth fairy. What matters is that there are people with no interest in sex, and that they are otherwise healthy and normal.
debatability
Posts: 1,160
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10/23/2014 7:10:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 6:09:36 AM, Wylted wrote:

Stop trying to label yourself. Just be you and don't worry about if it's consistent.

why people rush to put a complex label on their sexuality is something i will never understand
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 7:31:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 7:01:16 PM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/23/2014 7:39:18 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 7:18:32 AM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:

You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

Asexuality is not a myth. It's true that most people who identify as asexual would not qualify under the layperson's definition. However, there are people who genuinely feel no sexual attraction, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, and find the thought of it alien and repulsive.

I linked to an article by a doctorate of psychology stating it was a myth and the reasons for his conclusion. If you'd like to accept the BOP that asexuality in fact in fact a sexual orientation and exists and challenge me to a debate on the topic, I'd gladly accept.

I understand why people believe asexuality exists and believe they may in fact be one, but they are mistaken.

Your article is just semantics. It doesn't matter if asexuality is an "orientation" or not (personally, I think orientations are more a social construct than anything else). It doesn't matter if it's caused by endocrine deficiencies, neurological mis-wiring or the goddamn tooth fairy. What matters is that there are people with no interest in sex, and that they are otherwise healthy and normal.

That has absolutely nothing to do with being asexual, and everything is semantics. 9/10 of the disagreements people have is simply because they haven't moved beyond semantics yet.

Semantics is the first stage of arguing and literally nothing else should be discussed until semantics are out of the way.
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/23/2014 7:50:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 7:31:21 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 7:01:16 PM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/23/2014 7:39:18 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/23/2014 7:18:32 AM, apb4y wrote:
At 10/23/2014 6:27:34 AM, Wylted wrote:

You'll disagree with me on this but asexuality is a myth. So you're not asexual. You either have a sexual attraction to women, men or both.

Asexuality is not a myth. It's true that most people who identify as asexual would not qualify under the layperson's definition. However, there are people who genuinely feel no sexual attraction, have no desire to engage in sexual activity, and find the thought of it alien and repulsive.

I linked to an article by a doctorate of psychology stating it was a myth and the reasons for his conclusion. If you'd like to accept the BOP that asexuality in fact in fact a sexual orientation and exists and challenge me to a debate on the topic, I'd gladly accept.

I understand why people believe asexuality exists and believe they may in fact be one, but they are mistaken.

Your article is just semantics. It doesn't matter if asexuality is an "orientation" or not (personally, I think orientations are more a social construct than anything else). It doesn't matter if it's caused by endocrine deficiencies, neurological mis-wiring or the goddamn tooth fairy. What matters is that there are people with no interest in sex, and that they are otherwise healthy and normal.

That has absolutely nothing to do with being asexual, and everything is semantics. 9/10 of the disagreements people have is simply because they haven't moved beyond semantics yet.

Semantics is the first stage of arguing and literally nothing else should be discussed until semantics are out of the way.

No, semantics is a form of nitpicking that people use when they don't agree with something, but can't dispute the content and don't have the maturity to be quiet.

I do agree that people focus too much on what label to apply.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/23/2014 8:00:30 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
No semantics is how we understand each other. If I say bird and you say bird it could mean 2 seperate things that although similar are enough for us to argue over. It's not uncommon for 2 people to argue something who both completely agree with each other but apply different definitions to the same words. Those people could argue forever, never knowing they agree with each other, unless they take the time to get semantics out of the way.

Semantics are the first thing that should be looked at when discussing something and the conversation really shouldn't progress until semantics are out of the way.

It's not about nitpicking, it's about clarity. You see I've learned from your statements that me and you don't necessarily disagree about asexuality, but that really wasn't know until you made that one reply which was able to bring about some clarity to what we both meant with our words.
apb4y
Posts: 480
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10/23/2014 9:00:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/23/2014 8:00:30 PM, Wylted wrote:
No semantics is how we understand each other. If I say bird and you say bird it could mean 2 seperate things that although similar are enough for us to argue over. It's not uncommon for 2 people to argue something who both completely agree with each other but apply different definitions to the same words. Those people could argue forever, never knowing they agree with each other, unless they take the time to get semantics out of the way.

Why would we argue over birds? It's a terrible analogy.

It's not about nitpicking, it's about clarity. You see I've learned from your statements that me and you don't necessarily disagree about asexuality, but that really wasn't know until you made that one reply which was able to bring about some clarity to what we both meant with our words.

Gonna have to jog my memory here. I didn't even remember we were having this argument until I checked for updates two minutes ago.