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Ways I resolve Conflict IRL, and other stuff

YYW
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10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
As one member recently put it, I can turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde when someone pisses me off. I think that's overstating it a bit much, but IRL I have a few choice phrases to disarm people:

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."

"While I sympathize with your frustration..."

"It goes without question that your perspective is well articulated..."

"I think you advance a valuable point of consideration, however..."

"Upon full and dutiful reflection of your concerns..."

etc...

I put up with a lot less bullsh!t now than I did, so I'm generally a much calmer person now... but when people mess with the people I care about, I can be fierce. That is to say, I'm an excellent and loyal friend, but a fierce and dreadful enemy. I'm an ambivalent third party.

The difference between IRL and DDO is that while I almost never "fight" verbally with others IRL, I'm far less reluctant to do that here and be fully candid. I'm also fully candid with and around my friends, but only after I've gotten to know them and they have gained my trust.
bladerunner060
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10/27/2014 10:10:12 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:
As one member recently put it, I can turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde when someone pisses me off. I think that's overstating it a bit much, but IRL I have a few choice phrases to disarm people:

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."

"While I sympathize with your frustration..."

"It goes without question that your perspective is well articulated..."

"I think you advance a valuable point of consideration, however..."

"Upon full and dutiful reflection of your concerns..."

etc...

I put up with a lot less bullsh!t now than I did, so I'm generally a much calmer person now... but when people mess with the people I care about, I can be fierce. That is to say, I'm an excellent and loyal friend, but a fierce and dreadful enemy. I'm an ambivalent third party.

The difference between IRL and DDO is that while I almost never "fight" verbally with others IRL, I'm far less reluctant to do that here and be fully candid. I'm also fully candid with and around my friends, but only after I've gotten to know them and they have gained my trust.

I have always been rather sociall awkward in person. Thus, I have attempted various theories for interpersonal conflict resolution.

I tried the compliment-before-note-flaws approach for awhile in some aspects of my professional life. But there's someone who got really upset that I dared to say that when she screamed at me (incidentally it was "While I sympathize with your frustration..."), and then tried to screw me professionally with a training thing.

Now, I figure if that's the sort of thing that's going to happen--I may as well ACTUALLY be condescending, because I am perfectly capable of doing so, and restraining myself still got me accused of it. I'm not known for mincing words.
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YYW
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10/27/2014 10:18:11 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:10:12 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:
As one member recently put it, I can turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde when someone pisses me off. I think that's overstating it a bit much, but IRL I have a few choice phrases to disarm people:

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."

"While I sympathize with your frustration..."

"It goes without question that your perspective is well articulated..."

"I think you advance a valuable point of consideration, however..."

"Upon full and dutiful reflection of your concerns..."

etc...

I put up with a lot less bullsh!t now than I did, so I'm generally a much calmer person now... but when people mess with the people I care about, I can be fierce. That is to say, I'm an excellent and loyal friend, but a fierce and dreadful enemy. I'm an ambivalent third party.

The difference between IRL and DDO is that while I almost never "fight" verbally with others IRL, I'm far less reluctant to do that here and be fully candid. I'm also fully candid with and around my friends, but only after I've gotten to know them and they have gained my trust.

I have always been rather sociall awkward in person. Thus, I have attempted various theories for interpersonal conflict resolution.

I tried the compliment-before-note-flaws approach for awhile in some aspects of my professional life.

I can usually pull off the "lather before shave" approach as well, and do it well.

But there's someone who got really upset that I dared to say that when she screamed at me (incidentally it was "While I sympathize with your frustration..."), and then tried to screw me professionally with a training thing.

Wow...

Now, I figure if that's the sort of thing that's going to happen--I may as well ACTUALLY be condescending, because I am perfectly capable of doing so, and restraining myself still got me accused of it. I'm not known for mincing words.

My natural tone of voice is, to many, condescending, demeaning and intimidating. I don't know why that is, but it's something I have to manage. Apparently being a smart white guy is intimidating. W/e.

Also, I think IRL, I tend to be less interested in the conflicts that I have to deal with because they don't involve me or people I care about. At the place I used to work, there was not a single employee I'd inconvenience myself for.... like... not even one. I left the job after a few months.

I'll fight for my friends, though. And win.
YYW
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10/27/2014 10:24:38 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
In a lot of ways, too, I've employed many of Airmax's choice lines when trying to be diplomatic with people IRL, too. There is no more effective way to placate someone who is unhappy as to demonstrate that you understand and respect their point of view.
bsh1
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10/27/2014 10:30:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
For me, conflict resolution depends on the topic. I prefer to avoid conflict rather than resolve it--that is my main strategy. When conflict does arise, I typically have three options: (1) if the topic is unimportant, just don't respond; (2) if the topic is important, but I want to deescalate things, I agree to disagree, or I negotiate a compromise position; and (3) if the topic is very important, or if I don't feel the need to deescalate, I refuse to back down.

(2) is probably the one I employ most frequently (maybe 70% of the time), followed by (1) at about 20% of the time and then (3) for the remaining. But really, if I can avoid conflict, I see that as the route to go.

I do have a hard time remaining a passive bystander. I can't help but take sides.
Live Long and Prosper

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"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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YYW
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10/27/2014 10:36:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:30:39 PM, bsh1 wrote:
For me, conflict resolution depends on the topic. I prefer to avoid conflict rather than resolve it--that is my main strategy. When conflict does arise, I typically have three options: (1) if the topic is unimportant, just don't respond; (2) if the topic is important, but I want to deescalate things, I agree to disagree, or I negotiate a compromise position; and (3) if the topic is very important, or if I don't feel the need to deescalate, I refuse to back down.

(2) is probably the one I employ most frequently (maybe 70% of the time), followed by (1) at about 20% of the time and then (3) for the remaining. But really, if I can avoid conflict, I see that as the route to go.

I do have a hard time remaining a passive bystander. I can't help but take sides.

Those sound like good strategies, and I'm sure they're successful.

For me, there is a fourth kind:

Conflict that I enjoy being a part of (it's rare, but there are some fights I want to be in the middle of). In that case, there are conflicts I want to be a part of but I want to mediate because the mediation of it is advantageous to me, or conflicts that I want to be a part of but want to prolong because I have an interest in one of the parties to it.
bsh1
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10/27/2014 10:38:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:36:31 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:30:39 PM, bsh1 wrote:
For me, conflict resolution depends on the topic. I prefer to avoid conflict rather than resolve it--that is my main strategy. When conflict does arise, I typically have three options: (1) if the topic is unimportant, just don't respond; (2) if the topic is important, but I want to deescalate things, I agree to disagree, or I negotiate a compromise position; and (3) if the topic is very important, or if I don't feel the need to deescalate, I refuse to back down.

(2) is probably the one I employ most frequently (maybe 70% of the time), followed by (1) at about 20% of the time and then (3) for the remaining. But really, if I can avoid conflict, I see that as the route to go.

I do have a hard time remaining a passive bystander. I can't help but take sides.

Those sound like good strategies, and I'm sure they're successful.

For me, there is a fourth kind:

Conflict that I enjoy being a part of (it's rare, but there are some fights I want to be in the middle of). In that case, there are conflicts I want to be a part of but I want to mediate because the mediation of it is advantageous to me, or conflicts that I want to be a part of but want to prolong because I have an interest in one of the parties to it.

There are conflicts I enjoy as well, and those usually fall into my third category. For example, I love having arguments about politics because I find the subject fascinating. Generally though, I am too emotionally invested to mediate.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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bladerunner060
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10/27/2014 10:39:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:18:11 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:10:12 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:
As one member recently put it, I can turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde when someone pisses me off. I think that's overstating it a bit much, but IRL I have a few choice phrases to disarm people:

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."

"While I sympathize with your frustration..."

"It goes without question that your perspective is well articulated..."

"I think you advance a valuable point of consideration, however..."

"Upon full and dutiful reflection of your concerns..."

etc...

I put up with a lot less bullsh!t now than I did, so I'm generally a much calmer person now... but when people mess with the people I care about, I can be fierce. That is to say, I'm an excellent and loyal friend, but a fierce and dreadful enemy. I'm an ambivalent third party.

The difference between IRL and DDO is that while I almost never "fight" verbally with others IRL, I'm far less reluctant to do that here and be fully candid. I'm also fully candid with and around my friends, but only after I've gotten to know them and they have gained my trust.

I have always been rather sociall awkward in person. Thus, I have attempted various theories for interpersonal conflict resolution.

I tried the compliment-before-note-flaws approach for awhile in some aspects of my professional life.

I can usually pull off the "lather before shave" approach as well, and do it well.

But there's someone who got really upset that I dared to say that when she screamed at me (incidentally it was "While I sympathize with your frustration..."), and then tried to screw me professionally with a training thing.

Wow...

Yeah. It was quite ridiculous, actually--she was very clearly wrong, and I tried the line, and she stormed off, and literally years later was bitching to partners about it, and when she screwed me on the training thing said "I have never had anyone ever be that condescending"

Given that she's really not a very bright person, not only do I find that unfair (given that I was explicitly NOT being condescending), but also unlikely (given that she says things that are just...so very, very wrong, and with such arrogance).

Now, I figure if that's the sort of thing that's going to happen--I may as well ACTUALLY be condescending, because I am perfectly capable of doing so, and restraining myself still got me accused of it. I'm not known for mincing words.

My natural tone of voice is, to many, condescending, demeaning and intimidating. I don't know why that is, but it's something I have to manage. Apparently being a smart white guy is intimidating. W/e.

No, I really do think it's a tone thing. I suspect it's a failing of mine as well--but there's a limit to my patience for other people's perceptions.
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YYW
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10/27/2014 10:40:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:38:07 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:36:31 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:30:39 PM, bsh1 wrote:
For me, conflict resolution depends on the topic. I prefer to avoid conflict rather than resolve it--that is my main strategy. When conflict does arise, I typically have three options: (1) if the topic is unimportant, just don't respond; (2) if the topic is important, but I want to deescalate things, I agree to disagree, or I negotiate a compromise position; and (3) if the topic is very important, or if I don't feel the need to deescalate, I refuse to back down.

(2) is probably the one I employ most frequently (maybe 70% of the time), followed by (1) at about 20% of the time and then (3) for the remaining. But really, if I can avoid conflict, I see that as the route to go.

I do have a hard time remaining a passive bystander. I can't help but take sides.

Those sound like good strategies, and I'm sure they're successful.

For me, there is a fourth kind:

Conflict that I enjoy being a part of (it's rare, but there are some fights I want to be in the middle of). In that case, there are conflicts I want to be a part of but I want to mediate because the mediation of it is advantageous to me, or conflicts that I want to be a part of but want to prolong because I have an interest in one of the parties to it.

There are conflicts I enjoy as well, and those usually fall into my third category. For example, I love having arguments about politics because I find the subject fascinating. Generally though, I am too emotionally invested to mediate.

I'm usually pretty emotionally invested in political debates too, although there are some topics (like abortion) that I can take a step back from and mediate because I have such contempt for the topic.
bsh1
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10/27/2014 10:40:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:40:18 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:38:07 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:36:31 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:30:39 PM, bsh1 wrote:
For me, conflict resolution depends on the topic. I prefer to avoid conflict rather than resolve it--that is my main strategy. When conflict does arise, I typically have three options: (1) if the topic is unimportant, just don't respond; (2) if the topic is important, but I want to deescalate things, I agree to disagree, or I negotiate a compromise position; and (3) if the topic is very important, or if I don't feel the need to deescalate, I refuse to back down.

(2) is probably the one I employ most frequently (maybe 70% of the time), followed by (1) at about 20% of the time and then (3) for the remaining. But really, if I can avoid conflict, I see that as the route to go.

I do have a hard time remaining a passive bystander. I can't help but take sides.

Those sound like good strategies, and I'm sure they're successful.

For me, there is a fourth kind:

Conflict that I enjoy being a part of (it's rare, but there are some fights I want to be in the middle of). In that case, there are conflicts I want to be a part of but I want to mediate because the mediation of it is advantageous to me, or conflicts that I want to be a part of but want to prolong because I have an interest in one of the parties to it.

There are conflicts I enjoy as well, and those usually fall into my third category. For example, I love having arguments about politics because I find the subject fascinating. Generally though, I am too emotionally invested to mediate.

I'm usually pretty emotionally invested in political debates too, although there are some topics (like abortion) that I can take a step back from and mediate because I have such contempt for the topic.

Okay. I can understand that.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

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YYW
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10/27/2014 10:43:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:39:39 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:18:11 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:10:12 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:
As one member recently put it, I can turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde when someone pisses me off. I think that's overstating it a bit much, but IRL I have a few choice phrases to disarm people:

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."

"While I sympathize with your frustration..."

"It goes without question that your perspective is well articulated..."

"I think you advance a valuable point of consideration, however..."

"Upon full and dutiful reflection of your concerns..."

etc...

I put up with a lot less bullsh!t now than I did, so I'm generally a much calmer person now... but when people mess with the people I care about, I can be fierce. That is to say, I'm an excellent and loyal friend, but a fierce and dreadful enemy. I'm an ambivalent third party.

The difference between IRL and DDO is that while I almost never "fight" verbally with others IRL, I'm far less reluctant to do that here and be fully candid. I'm also fully candid with and around my friends, but only after I've gotten to know them and they have gained my trust.

I have always been rather sociall awkward in person. Thus, I have attempted various theories for interpersonal conflict resolution.

I tried the compliment-before-note-flaws approach for awhile in some aspects of my professional life.

I can usually pull off the "lather before shave" approach as well, and do it well.

But there's someone who got really upset that I dared to say that when she screamed at me (incidentally it was "While I sympathize with your frustration..."), and then tried to screw me professionally with a training thing.

Wow...

Yeah. It was quite ridiculous, actually--she was very clearly wrong, and I tried the line, and she stormed off, and literally years later was bitching to partners about it, and when she screwed me on the training thing said "I have never had anyone ever be that condescending"

Given that she's really not a very bright person,

lol... apparently not.

not only do I find that unfair (given that I was explicitly NOT being condescending), but also unlikely (given that she says things that are just...so very, very wrong, and with such arrogance).

lol.

Now, I figure if that's the sort of thing that's going to happen--I may as well ACTUALLY be condescending, because I am perfectly capable of doing so, and restraining myself still got me accused of it. I'm not known for mincing words.

My natural tone of voice is, to many, condescending, demeaning and intimidating. I don't know why that is, but it's something I have to manage. Apparently being a smart white guy is intimidating. W/e.

No, I really do think it's a tone thing. I suspect it's a failing of mine as well--but there's a limit to my patience for other people's perceptions.

It might be, and it's something that I consistently hear. But, it's not something that I consciously realize that I do. It's just something that I do.

As the ENTJ profile says: "Even the most self assured will often find themselves in doubt when facing an ENTJ."

I am the paragon, to that end.
mishapqueen
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10/27/2014 10:49:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:


"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."
I love this line. May I plagiarize?
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
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YYW
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10/27/2014 10:51:30 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:49:34 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:


"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."
I love this line. May I plagiarize?

Borrowing something like that isn't plagiarism, haha... of course you can borrow it, and I encourage you to do so without attribution.

The alternative would be to say "As this random dude on the internet who calls himself YYW said..." which would totally make people give you looks.
mishapqueen
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10/27/2014 10:54:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:51:30 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:49:34 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:


"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."
I love this line. May I plagiarize?

Borrowing something like that isn't plagiarism, haha... of course you can borrow it, and I encourage you to do so without attribution.

The alternative would be to say "As this random dude on the internet who calls himself YYW said..." which would totally make people give you looks.

Good point, though I talk about DDO so much to my family, they wouldn't be fazed. And I didn't intend to give you credit for it, which is why I said plagiarize. :D
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam
YYW
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10/27/2014 10:56:19 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I'd say the most common conflict I ran into dealt with stupid stuff that resulted from people losing perspective on things. In that case, it's just a matter of providing the necessary perspective.

Sometimes, that's as simple as getting a point of reference:

"While I know that it's terrible that your boyfriend dumped you, he didn't care about you and encouraged you to make decisions that were harmful to you and those around you."

or

"Yes, [person A] might have made some ill chosen comments, but just as I do, he has your best interest at heart. He only criticizes you because he wants you to be better."

or

"Indeed, [person x] made some wildly inappropriate remarks and I can't see how those wouldn't hurt your feelings. You have a right to be hurt, and I sympathize with that. However, you also made some remarks that were more or less comparable. That means that you would be the bigger person if you took the first step to resolve the conflict."
bladerunner060
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10/27/2014 11:08:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
"I would like to invite you to lower your voice"
is on the same list as:

"You are about to greatly regret your life choice"
"Take a deep breath, think for a moment, and choose your next words very carefully"
"You'll take a step back now"
"That's your one"
"I believe you need to sit down. Now"
and
"I won't be laid ahand on"

(among others)

for phrases where things are about to get real, barring some very significant changes in behavior.
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1harderthanyouthink
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10/27/2014 11:14:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Conflict and how I deal with it depends on who I'm dealing with and why I have to deal with them.

1. If they say something stupid that isn't too conservative, racist, etc. I won't say anything.
2. If they say something political that I don't agree with I will press the matter verbally until they concede/give up/tire out/die of old age.
3. If they say something bigoted as an insult to someone, my reaction ranges from "watch yourself" to punching them.
4. If they say something bigoted as an insult to a friend of mine or myself, my reaction level ranges from a "watch yourself" with a shove to a few punches to the face/head/throat area.
5. If they physically abuse someone, I'll take them out with a shove and a punch.
6. If they physically abuse a friend of mine or myself, I will stop at nothing to knocking out to killing that person.

Nearly got into a sh!t-ton of trouble for a number 6 a year ago.

By order of most common-least common: 2, 1, 3, 5, 4, 6
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And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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YYW
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10/27/2014 11:15:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 11:08:13 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
"I would like to invite you to lower your voice"
is on the same list as:

"You are about to greatly regret your life choice"
"Take a deep breath, think for a moment, and choose your next words very carefully"
"You'll take a step back now"
"That's your one"
"I believe you need to sit down. Now"
and
"I won't be laid ahand on"

(among others)

for phrases where things are about to get real, barring some very significant changes in behavior.

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice" is usually a pretty good indication that if the person I'm speaking to doesn't, I'm going to make them cry.

I also have:

"You're on the precipice of a brave decision."

"Prudence at this time requires an evaluation of the circumstance in which you find yourself."

"There are certain decisions we make in life that have lasting impacts. This is one such occasion. Either [x], or face the consequences of failing to do so."

All of these things must be said in a perfectly calm way, though. Losing ones cool does not produce positive outcomes.

For some reason, when people read what I write on DDO, for example, even though I'm not using exaggerations of emphasis, they assume that I'm "yelling" through the screen... or whatever.

I never am. There is only one user who has gotten me to a point where I'd want to scream, and he is no longer around.
1harderthanyouthink
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10/27/2014 11:41:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:18:11 PM, YYW wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:10:12 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:

I have always been rather sociall awkward in person. Thus, I have attempted various theories for interpersonal conflict resolution.

I tried the compliment-before-note-flaws approach for awhile in some aspects of my professional life.

I can usually pull off the "lather before shave" approach as well, and do it well.

That's essential for preventing conflict.

But there's someone who got really upset that I dared to say that when she screamed at me (incidentally it was "While I sympathize with your frustration..."), and then tried to screw me professionally with a training thing.

Wow...

Now, I figure if that's the sort of thing that's going to happen--I may as well ACTUALLY be condescending, because I am perfectly capable of doing so, and restraining myself still got me accused of it. I'm not known for mincing words.

My natural tone of voice is, to many, condescending, demeaning and intimidating. I don't know why that is, but it's something I have to manage. Apparently being a smart white guy is intimidating. W/e.

Sarcastic & condescending tone + willingness to physically hurt has come out to a much lower rate of incidents for me. I use it to my advantage.

Also, I think IRL, I tend to be less interested in the conflicts that I have to deal with because they don't involve me or people I care about. At the place I used to work, there was not a single employee I'd inconvenience myself for.... like... not even one. I left the job after a few months.

I can't stay in a place where I don't like anyone.

I'll fight for my friends, though. And win.

Here here.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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10/27/2014 11:44:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I don't think I've really argued with anyone (outside of the occasional lover's spat) since maybe high school. People find me disarming. The fools.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Greyparrot
Posts: 14,212
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10/28/2014 5:38:07 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:
The difference between IRL and DDO is that while I almost never "fight" verbally with others IRL, I'm far less reluctant to do that here and be fully candid. I'm also fully candid with and around my friends, but only after I've gotten to know them and they have gained my trust.

I am the opposite. I rarely get in a slugging match here, but often argue IRL. Usually I do way more reading than posting here.
SPENCERJOYAGE14
Posts: 1,040
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10/30/2014 9:08:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/27/2014 10:02:40 PM, YYW wrote:
As one member recently put it, I can turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde when someone pisses me off.

I was totally kidding when I said that. :( Ily!

"I would like to invite you to lower your voice."

I'm gonna say that when someone starts raising their voice in cross examination.
I'm so fancy, you already know.