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Comin out to parents

YamaVonKarma
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11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?
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1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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11/25/2014 11:22:21 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Wait until you're absolutely comfortable telling them.
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And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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YamaVonKarma
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11/25/2014 11:26:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:22:21 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Wait until you're absolutely comfortable telling them.

Noted.
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YamaVonKarma
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11/25/2014 11:26:19 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:22:37 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
Wait till after college.

Noted.
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Greyparrot
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11/25/2014 11:28:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:26:19 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
At 11/25/2014 11:22:37 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
Wait till after college.

Noted.

Or until a time you won't care if all financial support is pulled out from you.
YamaVonKarma
Posts: 7,570
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11/25/2014 11:30:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:28:23 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
At 11/25/2014 11:26:19 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
At 11/25/2014 11:22:37 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
Wait till after college.

Noted.

Or until a time you won't care if all financial support is pulled out from you.

In that case, college is the best case. I'll definitely have some form of scholarship and ROTC to handle my expenses. Dankeschon.
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carriead20
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11/25/2014 11:37:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

You should tell them ASAP, the sooner they know, the sooner they will come to terms with it and be more understanding. But yeah after college sounds good.
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Defro
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11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

You're only 15. Your hormones have probably gone to your head.
Before you tell your parents, you must know 100% for sure that you are bisexual.
You might just be bi-curious or temporarily bisexual.
I'd say wait until after college. You should be done with the transition to adulthood then.

I have 3 friends who were bisexual when they were your age but when they grew older they became completely straight. 2 of them admitted that they were really just bi-curious but they thought they were bisexual then. The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.
xXCryptoXx
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11/26/2014 11:20:37 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
What Defro said. Also, is it so important to you that it is even worth mentioning at all? I mean just because someone is gay, or bisexual, or whatever, doesn't necessarily mean they have to "come out" to someone.
Nolite Timere
RevNge
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11/26/2014 11:42:52 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

Unless you're in a relationship with another guy or have feelings for him, what's the point in telling them...?

I agree with Defro, it might be just a phase. However, it's up to you. How do you think your parents will come to terms with your bisexuality? Will they disown you? Cut off all contacts with you?

Go along with the other suggestions by waiting until you can support yourself financially and you actually have legitimate attractions toward another male.

Btw, are you a top or a bottom? LOL
EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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11/26/2014 2:29:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
People calling it a phase are silly. I guarantee you nobody would be saying "wait until you're sure," if you thought you were heterosexual at 15. Children and teens aren't magically innocent non-sexual beings.

As to the OP, it depends how you think they'll react, but if you think their reaction might be really bad, waiting until you're financially independent is good advice.
1harderthanyouthink
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11/26/2014 2:37:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 2:29:32 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
People calling it a phase are silly. I guarantee you nobody would be saying "wait until you're sure," if you thought you were heterosexual at 15. Children and teens aren't magically innocent non-sexual beings.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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David.Cameron
Posts: 39
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11/26/2014 2:37:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

I've got to agree with the general consensus on this--wait until after college. Even the most liberal parents can react adversely to the news. This is not to say there is anything wrong with what you are doing (there isn't) or that there is a legitimate reasons for parents to react this way (there isn't). However, you do not want to get caught in a situation where your financial support is pulled out from under you.

As for the whole "phase" issue, to hell with that idea -- you know who you are on a fundamental level even when you are young.
1harderthanyouthink
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11/26/2014 4:10:12 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM, Defro wrote:
The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.

You can't "change" sexuality. You either are or you aren't. If this person "became" straight, he was/is probably attracted to a certain woman.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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YYW
Posts: 36,286
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11/26/2014 5:59:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 2:29:32 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
People calling it a phase are silly. I guarantee you nobody would be saying "wait until you're sure," if you thought you were heterosexual at 15. Children and teens aren't magically innocent non-sexual beings.

As to the OP, it depends how you think they'll react, but if you think their reaction might be really bad, waiting until you're financially independent is good advice.

It could be a phase; but it isn't necessarily a phase.
Tsar of DDO
Defro
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11/26/2014 6:58:11 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 4:10:12 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM, Defro wrote:
The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.

You can't "change" sexuality. You either are or you aren't. If this person "became" straight, he was/is probably attracted to a certain woman.

I'm not saying you can change sexuality. But you can certainly be unsure of your sexuality, especially when you are a teenager.
1harderthanyouthink
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11/26/2014 6:59:47 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 6:58:11 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 4:10:12 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM, Defro wrote:
The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.

You can't "change" sexuality. You either are or you aren't. If this person "became" straight, he was/is probably attracted to a certain woman.

I'm not saying you can change sexuality. But you can certainly be unsure of your sexuality, especially when you are a teenager.

I think that most people know their sexuality by the time they're 15...
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

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miraculous
Posts: 139
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11/26/2014 7:17:42 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 6:59:47 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 6:58:11 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 4:10:12 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM, Defro wrote:
The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.

You can't "change" sexuality. You either are or you aren't. If this person "became" straight, he was/is probably attracted to a certain woman.

I'm not saying you can change sexuality. But you can certainly be unsure of your sexuality, especially when you are a teenager.

I think that most people know their sexuality by the time they're 15...
I have a few acquintances who are 20+ who are still unsure of their sexuality. I think it varies depending on the individual. It certainly makes sense to be confused though, especially in your adolescent years.
If I went back in time and murdered my grandmother, therefor preventing my existence, then who killed my grandmother?
1harderthanyouthink
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11/26/2014 7:23:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 7:17:42 PM, miraculous wrote:
At 11/26/2014 6:59:47 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 6:58:11 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 4:10:12 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM, Defro wrote:
The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.

You can't "change" sexuality. You either are or you aren't. If this person "became" straight, he was/is probably attracted to a certain woman.

I'm not saying you can change sexuality. But you can certainly be unsure of your sexuality, especially when you are a teenager.

I think that most people know their sexuality by the time they're 15...
I have a few acquintances who are 20+ who are still unsure of their sexuality. I think it varies depending on the individual. It certainly makes sense to be confused though, especially in your adolescent years.

Are they unsure? Or are they hiding something?
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

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bsh1
Posts: 27,503
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11/26/2014 7:26:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

Wait until you feel like you're ready to tell them, until they're ready to hear, and/or until you find the love of your life.
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Defro
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11/26/2014 7:48:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 6:59:47 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 6:58:11 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 4:10:12 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 11/26/2014 7:53:25 AM, Defro wrote:
The other one was legitimately bisexual but by the time he was 20, he became straight.

You can't "change" sexuality. You either are or you aren't. If this person "became" straight, he was/is probably attracted to a certain woman.

I'm not saying you can change sexuality. But you can certainly be unsure of your sexuality, especially when you are a teenager.

I think that most people know their sexuality by the time they're 15...

Yes, but there are certain individuals who don't know their sexuality or are confused. I mentioned my 3 friends who were like this.
Defro
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11/26/2014 10:46:56 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 9:54:42 PM, Ajabi wrote:
The fact that there is something knows as bi-curious amuses me way more than it should. :P

Why?
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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11/26/2014 10:50:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 10:46:56 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 9:54:42 PM, Ajabi wrote:
The fact that there is something knows as bi-curious amuses me way more than it should. :P

Why?

We've invented so many terms for different attractions. I wonder was it that we were before over-simplyfying complex matters; or are we now over complicating simpler matters. Or were there simpler distinctions first, and over time we have developed these more complex distinctions.
YamaVonKarma
Posts: 7,570
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11/26/2014 10:52:33 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 10:50:46 PM, Ajabi wrote:
At 11/26/2014 10:46:56 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 9:54:42 PM, Ajabi wrote:
The fact that there is something knows as bi-curious amuses me way more than it should. :P

Why?

We've invented so many terms for different attractions. I wonder was it that we were before over-simplyfying complex matters; or are we now over complicating simpler matters. Or were there simpler distinctions first, and over time we have developed these more complex distinctions.
The whole black and white thing is bs, to me. I don't believe anyone is 100% "straight" or Homosexual. We're all a glorious shade of gray.
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Defro
Posts: 847
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11/26/2014 11:48:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/26/2014 10:50:46 PM, Ajabi wrote:
At 11/26/2014 10:46:56 PM, Defro wrote:
At 11/26/2014 9:54:42 PM, Ajabi wrote:
The fact that there is something knows as bi-curious amuses me way more than it should. :P

Why?

We've invented so many terms for different attractions. I wonder was it that we were before over-simplyfying complex matters; or are we now over complicating simpler matters. Or were there simpler distinctions first, and over time we have developed these more complex distinctions.

They aren't complex distinctions.
Being bi-curious does not mean you're actually bisexual or homosexual.
Being bicurious might mean just what the suffiix suggests: you are curious about sex and may experiment in sexual acts regardless of gender.
One of my friends was bicurious when he was 15. He's even given fellatio. But now that he is 20, he doesn't experiment anymore. He is a 100% straigh guy.
clearcrystal76
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12/2/2014 10:56:34 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

wait till you comfy too tell them...un less you have a priest as a father then maybe never...it will work out bad.
PetersSmith
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12/2/2014 11:20:33 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

I say tell them sooner rather than later, before your 18. They are supposed to love you and if they can't accept who you are then they failed at being parents. You can't just keep it bottled inside for so long, otherwise it could eventually eat away at you. And what if your parents start asking about you dating people, or what if you find a guy you really like? You won't be able to hide it and lying to your parents right in their faces would cause them to find out the hard way. Speaking of which, if you tell them sooner then they can get used to it for 3 years. Who knows, maybe it can even bring you closer together.
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Zylorarchy
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12/2/2014 11:31:43 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/25/2014 11:16:26 PM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
Think I should just wait until I'm in college to tell them I like men and women?

Tell them now, if they react badly... Tell them it's 2014 (or 2015 if you wait a bit).
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