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throw the towel...

ElCorazonAma
Posts: 781
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11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...
The verb is real but the adjective is only a hypothetical ideal. ~ Freedo
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
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11/30/2014 11:37:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

Whoa!

Listen: You're a great person, and people like you. Not because we think you're perfect. Nobody's perfect (Well, opinions differ on "Nobody", but that was an exception to an otherwise real rule). You aren't perfect, because nobody is. But that doesn't mean you're a failure or a bad person. People like you because of who you are--and who you are is great.

You have friends. You are great. And if you need anything, we're here for you. PM me if you need anything.

You should move out, though. Nobody should live at home for longer than they have to. That way lies madness.

But seriously: PM me if there's anything I can do.
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
mishapqueen
Posts: 3,995
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11/30/2014 11:38:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

*hug*
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
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Nunc aut Numquam
mortsdor
Posts: 1,181
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11/30/2014 11:41:22 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

you're not the only one who feels this way, or is in such situations.

At 26, I'm in a similar situation... and it's wholly my fault.

I too, a long time ago, used to punch walls... now I just break things that won't need to be fixed :/

I too have been disappointed with various things I've done in the past and recently.

I hope you get through it, and live an enjoyable life.
ElCorazonAma
Posts: 781
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11/30/2014 11:45:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:37:05 PM, bladerunner060 wrote:
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

Whoa!

Listen: You're a great person, and people like you. Not because we think you're perfect. Nobody's perfect (Well, opinions differ on "Nobody", but that was an exception to an otherwise real rule). You aren't perfect, because nobody is. But that doesn't mean you're a failure or a bad person. People like you because of who you are--and who you are is great.

You have friends. You are great. And if you need anything, we're here for you. PM me if you need anything.

You should move out, though. Nobody should live at home for longer than they have to. That way lies madness.
thats why I got the job... but my mom is the one who told me to get a job... I got the job and now theyre tlling me they dont want me workng the hrs my mangers gave me... Im not a puppet... thats all Ill say...

But seriously: PM me if there's anything I can do.
The verb is real but the adjective is only a hypothetical ideal. ~ Freedo
bladerunner060
Posts: 7,126
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11/30/2014 11:47:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:45:27 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:

thats why I got the job... but my mom is the one who told me to get a job... I got the job and now theyre tlling me they dont want me workng the hrs my mangers gave me... Im not a puppet... thats all Ill say...

You are not a puppet.

And it's not your fault if someone else is being unreasonable.
Assistant moderator to airmax1227. PM me with any questions or concerns!
bsh1
Posts: 27,504
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11/30/2014 11:51:22 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Marie, you need your independence. I am having issues living with my parents too--you need your own space, your own life, your own freedom at some point. It's part of finding ourselves and becoming who we will be as adults and as members of our community.

I really hope everything works out for you, and if you ever need to talk, let me know. I, and so many other people on DDO, care about you and want you to be okay. Things will work out.

*hugs*
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ElCorazonAma
Posts: 781
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12/1/2014 12:17:02 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
this is a song I did a while back, but its the closest song I can relate how I feel right about now... https://www.youtube.com...
The verb is real but the adjective is only a hypothetical ideal. ~ Freedo
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/1/2014 12:24:31 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Just saying I kinda convinced her to stay, and marry me. So Marie and I are now officially married people, we're very madly in love.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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12/1/2014 5:28:40 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

*hugs marie to death* not literally but still hugging and plus remember you have my email so feel free to shoot one at me if you want to talk
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Envisage
Posts: 3,646
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12/1/2014 6:52:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

You really do need to move away from your family, away from the cocoon you are currently in. It's usually a lot harder to see what's wrong when you are in the inside of it, and becomes much more apparent when you put it to the side. I mean heck, you have 16 siblings and two parents, of course you are going to feel trapped.

You're family will quickly realise what you really were once you are gone. As does most things that are taken for granted. Keep well & best of luck.
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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12/1/2014 6:55:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 12:24:31 AM, Ajabi wrote:
Just saying I kinda convinced her to stay, and marry me. So Marie and I are now officially married people, we're very madly in love.

She must have forgotten the Mace that day.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/1/2014 8:31:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 5:28:40 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

*hugs marie to death* not literally but still hugging and plus remember you have my email so feel free to shoot one at me if you want to talk

STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU WAANKER *GRABS SHOTGUN*
kbub
Posts: 1,377
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12/1/2014 8:58:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

I'm sorry you're feeling that way :(. That really sinks. I hope you feel much better soon, get to eat lots of chocolate ice cream, and take yourself to the movies and buy yourself an overpriced popcorn.

I certainly admire your courage in writing this post; however, I am concerned that the internet might not be the safest place for someone to expose their feelings of vulnerability. In my experience, internet posters can be unforgiving, volatile, irrational, and above all unpredictable due to users' anonymity. I know that I often can feel very hurt or shocked by people's interactions with me on public forums. However, this is all probably merely coming from my own circumstances--I know that you have a close-knit group of friends on the site that I don't have.

Wishing you the best!
kbub
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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12/2/2014 7:07:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 8:31:28 PM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:28:40 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

*hugs marie to death* not literally but still hugging and plus remember you have my email so feel free to shoot one at me if you want to talk

STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU WAANKER *GRABS SHOTGUN*

the day thats true is the day pigs fly
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/2/2014 7:09:44 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/2/2014 7:07:15 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 12/1/2014 8:31:28 PM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:28:40 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

*hugs marie to death* not literally but still hugging and plus remember you have my email so feel free to shoot one at me if you want to talk

STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU WAANKER *GRABS SHOTGUN*

the day thats true is the day pigs fly

http://mentalfloss.com...
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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12/2/2014 7:10:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/2/2014 7:09:44 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/2/2014 7:07:15 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 12/1/2014 8:31:28 PM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:28:40 AM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

*hugs marie to death* not literally but still hugging and plus remember you have my email so feel free to shoot one at me if you want to talk

STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU WAANKER *GRABS SHOTGUN*

the day thats true is the day pigs fly

http://mentalfloss.com...

animated picture so not true
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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12/2/2014 7:13:24 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net...

We're all here for you
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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12/2/2014 11:53:06 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

Marie..you just described me right now..i've told you before that i'm going through a very similar situation as we speak. Letting it all out is the best thing you can do. I carry on the pains of life as i feel like a prisoner in my own body, but it's hard to let it out because i have to stay strong in the world. My family treats me the same as well (my sister can relate very much). It's depressing when i try to do things to please my mom and receive little to no praise but more criticism for my wrongs. I'll admit that i fear being a leader because it's such a huge responsibility for those who look up to you. I know i did alot of bad things but no matter what happens in life and had plenty of times where i just wanted to give up, but you just have to find the strength to keep living because there is hope. I'm struggling right now but i know there is a way to become the best i can be with patience and harmony. I'm here for you if you need me..
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/2/2014 8:59:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

You are not alone.
https://www.youtube.com...
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
carriead20
Posts: 1,394
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12/2/2014 9:10:09 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 11/30/2014 11:30:10 PM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
is how I feel right about now... just forget about everything... I never do this, but I just want to releive my pain and hurts somehow right now cause I cant let it out anywhere else.... Im hanging by a thread... I cant take anymore... I feel like... like I dont know who I am anymore... like Im a child trapped inside a woman's body... like a failure and a screw up... like a burden... a burden that just never seems to truly exist in anything for success... someone whos labeled as "you cant do it because of this or that" ... having a big family is great, but its overwhelming... being single is a front because I deny the fact that I wish I could be in a relationship, but am afraid to because of pain... I miss my sister... my parents treat me like im 5 and not 22... I say or do something that they find disapproving, Im a bad person... and so much more Idk if I can bring myself to say... Im not a good person... Im just like everyone else who has problems and makes mistakes and it angers me inside when everyone says otherwise... you dont know me... Im very capable of doing anything just as anyone else, but I dont... I used to punch the walls when I was a younger teen and I feel like doing that a lot, and I did today... I didnt care that it hurt either... im a big mess right now.. Ive been away from DDO FB for a little off and on because Ive been working ... im trying hard to move out... but it seems like the more I do that the more Im planted to stay... I dont wanna be lving with my parents anymore... I dont hate my family.. But Im tired of feeling like Im in prison and cant do a single thing without being accussed of doing something wrong or being blamed for the decisions my siblings choose to make... Im not GOD... I not all powerful or in control of them... they make theyre own decisions... just like I do...

sorry for my ranting, but again.. I needed to get this out somehow... I literally dont have anyone to turn to IRL to talk to... I feel like an isolated invisible individual who has no voice but only what others want... Im not perfect... I will never be perfect... Im just human.... Im like in tears typing all this...

I completely understand where you are coming from, I've been having the same thoughts recently too. If you need to talk I am here.

Take a deep breath and take a moment to relax. Turn on your favorite song, do something to take your mind off of the thoughts that you are having right now. What do I do when I have these thoughts? I dance, it doesn't matter when or where. It could be at Wal-Mart at 11:00 P.M. I don't give a FUC|< . Try doing something like this, it doesn't have to be dancing, to take your mind off of the matters at hand just for a minute. It will help, trust me on this one.
To all the people fighting a hard battle out there - life's giving you a pretty hard beating. There's no sugarcoating that, but there's no shadow that's free of light. When life sneers at you and asks, "Ready to go again?" - Raise your hand. Reach out to victory. Don't give in.

---Help Bsh and YYW see each other---
http://www.gofundme.com...