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Drugs, Pain or Brain: Advice Needed Urgently!

Ajabi
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12/14/2014 5:05:45 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
So hi. lol.

A lot of you already know I have like neuropathic pain syndrome, which causes me unimaginable amounts of pain, and is torturous. The pain is to the point that I need a cane to walk because my right leg is worse than my left leg.

I hate this pain, and after 1 1/2 years I found a medication: Carbamazepine. Its one of the only medicines which will work on my condition, but I've tried everything from Vicodin, to Morphine, to Neprox, to Pregablin, to Ibuprofen, to really anything.

So I was ecstatic when this medicine worked, within three days (when maximum plasma potency occurred) my pain decreased by 80%. I was hardly feeling anything. I was running! I was facking running man! For me this was awesome. I danced after like 3 years, I ran, I jumped, I was a happy motha' facker.

Then though the side affects kicked in. You see one of the problem of this medicine is that it makes me hazy, sleepy, it reduces my intelligence. I know a lot of people on debate.org think I'm stupid, or whatever but to me, my intelligence is pretty much all I got. I pride myself on being able to read Kant, being able to study Differentials by myself, or solve Maths problems meant for undergrads.

Its the only thing I have: my intelligence. This medicine decreases it, I feel happy (I am mostly a rather cynical person), but I feel hazy. I can't focus, I can't work. I have never studied for a Maths exam, never, not once. I have never ever gotten a bad grade. I think I got a C this time. For me, this is heart wrenching.

My family was very happy when I no longer needed my cane, and everyone around me is like health comes first, at least you're pain free, you're happy Ajab, you're no longer a cynical arse.

I like being nicer, more charming, amicable, but what use am I, who am I if I don't have my brain working. On the meds I want to sleep about 11 hours a day, my mind feels like it has a barrier in front of it which it cannot break. Its like there's a wall stopping my thinking process.

So this is hard, but what do you think I should choose? At one end I am pain free, pain facking free, but I can't focus, or think properly. Reading Hamlet was painful. lol. I had to look up this one thing from Heidegger and half an hour later I was like fack it. LOL. I have never said that. I would need to work harder for my school studies, perhaps drop one or two of my 7 APs.

At the other its the same arsehole Ajab. The cynical blunt friend who, albeit no one might like, prides himself in what he can do. Its not just pride, its who I am. I love studying Maths, its my passion. But then I got a simple trig. identity problem, and I just could not do it. It was soo simple, and I could not do it. I knew how to do it, I'd done much much harder, and yet....

I have not been taking (secretly) the medicine for about a week now. The pain is back, and today I ha to tell my parents and family because I needed the stick again. The thing is what would you choose? My brain is what makes me who I am.

Also I am not kidding you the medicine makes me...ummm....horny. I swear to God its the weirdest feeling, feeling sexual. lol. I think I even liked a girl during this period, to be honest I think I liked every girl with nice breats, and arse. Wow, I have never even noticed these things otherwise.

The change in my personality was considerable, but I just could not think. I mean it felt like doing Maths hurt my head, like there was this brick wall which I could not break. Its like I knew what I was supposed to think of, and yet I just could not. The answer which usually comes instantly would not come. Also I felt drowsy, like a lot.

So yeah this is my issue, I hope people will respond. This is my online family, I know it sounds crappy, but this is my story.

...so any advice debate.org?
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 9:58:12 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 5:05:45 AM, Ajabi wrote:



I've been through a similar mental transition a few years ago. I got in a serious car accident when the driver (my uncle) fell asleep while driving, causing me to fly from the backseat to the front, hitting my head on the windshield. The blow dented my skull. My skull literally caved in. If it had caved in 2 centimeters deeper, my brain would have been damaged and I might have died. I had to get surgery on my skull and stay in the hospital for 2 months. Luckily, I didn't miss much of school because it was near exam week, so nothing new is being taught at school.

When I returned to school, I immediately noticed how I've changed mentally. I can't focus very well and I tend to daze off and daydream. The way my brain processes things were slower. I also used to be really good at Math, but I began to fail Calculus. I no longer felt as conscious and aware of my surroundings. This eventually led me to lose motivation in school.

My mom always told me: "If someone is 3 times smarter than you, study 3 times harder than him and you'll be his equal." I had to work harder to get through school, but it still wasn't enough to cancel out how much dumber I got. I eventually just learned to accept it and stop giving a sh*t. I hung out with friends, got wasted and drunk, did fun teenager things, and had a life.

I'd say my condition opened new doors for me that would not have been possible when I was smarter. Because I did not focus as hard in school as much anymore, I was able to do other things of equal if not more importance. I did a bunch of community service. I volunteered to help work temporarily at orphanages and nursing homes. I made a difference in my community. After I got my condition, I started to value life more and look at the world in a whole new perspective, but in a good way.

I'm just trying to tell you that not having your full mental capacity may not necessarily be a bad thing. And after a while you get used to it and develop a a very effective coping mechanism. Mine was to work harder.

The difference between your situation and mine is that you have a choice, whereas I can never go back to my previous state. Also, I feel like your medication only reduces your intelligence while you are under medication, which means you can take it for a month but once you stop taking it, your back to your full mental capacity.

If that's the case, I would suggest a compromise of your medicine-taking. Can you maybe not take it during the weekdays when you have school but take it during the weekends so that you can have fun with your legs?

Your family has a point, health is important. What if one day, your house set on fire and you had to run outside to escape being burned? You'll need your legs for that.

I like being nicer, more charming, amicable, but what use am I, who am I if I don't have my brain working?

You answered your own question. Without your brain working as well, you are a nicer, more charming, and amicable. This may be a good thing in your life. My condition changed my mind too. I stopped being selfish and started helping others in my community. I gained much more friends. This change of yours could possibly make you friends, or even get you reunited with old friends.

Also I am not kidding you the medicine makes me...ummm....horny. I swear to God its the weirdest feeling, feeling sexual. lol. I think I even liked a girl during this period, to be honest I think I liked every girl with nice breats, and arse. Wow, I have never even noticed these things otherwise.

This is normal, and there's nothing wrong with being normal. I'd say this is unrelated to your medicine consumption. I feel like that whole thing about you not having a sexual preference and not wanting to have sex was just a phase, a phase you are now over.

However on the off-chance that this is due to your medication, I'd say this would be a very positive change in you. Sex is awesome, and wanting to have sex is making you a more normal person. I seriously thought something was wrong with you in your head when you talked about your sexuality.

...so any advice debate.org?

I'm not going to give you advice. This is your own decision. Each side has it's own perks. I will however, give you something that you can think about that may help you make your own decision.

First of all, the side effects of Carbamazepine are pretty serious. You can get memory problems, back pain, chest pain, vision problems, and a loss of contact with reality. Luckily you don't sound like you have these, so you should be good. But these are possible symptoms that you should consider.

So on one side, you keep your personality but lose your legs.
On the other side, you keep your legs but change your personality.

You're making it sound like having your personality changed is a bad thing. But in my case, it was very good and life changing. It was also good for Dennybug, who was a worthless piece of sh*t (and he'll agree) before I met him.

I no longer regret the car accident that scarred me and mentally damaged me. Although I wouldn't mind if I never got into it.
ElCorazonAma
Posts: 781
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12/14/2014 10:12:30 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Ajab, the best and only best above I got for you is, if you want to be able to run and walk without a cane and not be in pain, then take the meds, but, if you really want your mental stability to still be in use than I say go without it. However, the decision is ultimately up to you in the long run. Your family can't make you choose to take it and can't not choose to take it away from you without your first consent. Only you know how you feel as well as God knows.

I'll just say this, God can still use a person who is unable to fully walk. But He can also use someone who can, so either doesn't matter. But He gives us an option. Which would you prefer? Because your still able to walk, however you have to use a cane, I say thank God for even being able to walk and also thank Him for the feeling of freedom of not having to use a cane, but also for your mind an the comprehensiveness of intelligence He gives you. You say your God is the ultimate, well, wouldn't you want to be able to help people see that? If indeed your God is the legit one? I mean isn't that why we are chosen vessels within our own religions? You are a very intelligent person on DDO in fact there are so many I could make a list and you would be on that list. Whereas someone like me, I'm not able to be on that list because I know better and know I cannot fall into that intelligent category no matter how hard I try. My intelligence is trough the actions I do for others. That's my intelligence. That's my gift. Remember all of us are different and do things differently and think differently.

My point is, if having your mind is what you find more beneficial than your legs, than go with it. Have no regrets! God is Good! All the time!

Marie
The verb is real but the adjective is only a hypothetical ideal. ~ Freedo
Ajabi
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12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 9:58:12 AM, Defro wrote:

Thanks your reply meant a lot. Carbamazepine does have a lot of serious side effects, and they can set it after I take it (after all I could have to take it for upto 6-10 years). Also as I said it makes me fuzzy headed.

This is a hard choice for me. I cannot have the medicines sometimes because they take from 3 to 5 days to start working. You cannot take the proper dosage instantly, you need to start with 0.5 mg, and work your way up to a much much higher dosage. Or else you'd die.

Its a hard decision because with the medicine I'm a different person. I'm a nicer person, and its weird. When I saw girls the other day I wanted to stare at their butts for no reason. I mean I don't know why but my eyes kept going to their butts....their butts, a place they use for excrement. Wow. Not to mention usually when a pretty girl talks to me I just engage her for a few minutes before saying something cynical, and telling her to leave. This time I wanted to continue the conversation 0.o she was stupid but I liked talking to her. o.o I also had a slight hots for Dennis' sister Dacey o.o. Thats the weirdest part of it. lol. Not a crush, just hots for a girl I have never met, wow.

But then my current personality means I won't ever have friends. Dennis has left me, he has said quite explicitly that I'm too realistic, and friendship with me is a straining task and so he does not want to talk to me. That always happens when someone gets to know me, I am an extremely (or try to be) honest person. I will always be blunt, I disregard any social norms, and I'm cynical. I accept that. Try living in constant pain, a pain that cripples you, does not allow you to walk and smile. It ain't easy.

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.
Ajabi
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12/14/2014 10:21:15 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:12:30 AM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
Ajab, the best and only best above I got for you is, if you want to be able to run and walk without a cane and not be in pain, then take the meds, but, if you really want your mental stability to still be in use than I say go without it. However, the decision is ultimately up to you in the long run. Your family can't make you choose to take it and can't not choose to take it away from you without your first consent. Only you know how you feel as well as God knows.

I'll just say this, God can still use a person who is unable to fully walk. But He can also use someone who can, so either doesn't matter. But He gives us an option. Which would you prefer? Because your still able to walk, however you have to use a cane, I say thank God for even being able to walk and also thank Him for the feeling of freedom of not having to use a cane, but also for your mind an the comprehensiveness of intelligence He gives you. You say your God is the ultimate, well, wouldn't you want to be able to help people see that? If indeed your God is the legit one? I mean isn't that why we are chosen vessels within our own religions? You are a very intelligent person on DDO in fact there are so many I could make a list and you would be on that list. Whereas someone like me, I'm not able to be on that list because I know better and know I cannot fall into that intelligent category no matter how hard I try. My intelligence is trough the actions I do for others. That's my intelligence. That's my gift. Remember all of us are different and do things differently and think differently.

My point is, if having your mind is what you find more beneficial than your legs, than go with it. Have no regrets! God is Good! All the time!

Marie

1. You are intelligent.
2. You are intelligent.
3. You are intelligent.
4. I don't lie, I'm harsh, but always honest.
5. I still think you're intelligent.
6. I love you, thank you. <3
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 10:28:20 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.

You just thought I could not move? LOL
No man the decision is not between cripple or brain
its between extreme extreme pain or brain
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:30:10 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:28:20 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.

You just thought I could not move? LOL
No man the decision is not between cripple or brain
its between extreme extreme pain or brain

Dude f*ck your brain. Take the meds. At least you'd be a happy motherf*cker
ElCorazonAma
Posts: 781
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12/14/2014 10:30:43 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:21:15 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:12:30 AM, ElCorazonAma wrote:
Ajab, the best and only best above I got for you is, if you want to be able to run and walk without a cane and not be in pain, then take the meds, but, if you really want your mental stability to still be in use than I say go without it. However, the decision is ultimately up to you in the long run. Your family can't make you choose to take it and can't not choose to take it away from you without your first consent. Only you know how you feel as well as God knows.

I'll just say this, God can still use a person who is unable to fully walk. But He can also use someone who can, so either doesn't matter. But He gives us an option. Which would you prefer? Because your still able to walk, however you have to use a cane, I say thank God for even being able to walk and also thank Him for the feeling of freedom of not having to use a cane, but also for your mind an the comprehensiveness of intelligence He gives you. You say your God is the ultimate, well, wouldn't you want to be able to help people see that? If indeed your God is the legit one? I mean isn't that why we are chosen vessels within our own religions? You are a very intelligent person on DDO in fact there are so many I could make a list and you would be on that list. Whereas someone like me, I'm not able to be on that list because I know better and know I cannot fall into that intelligent category no matter how hard I try. My intelligence is trough the actions I do for others. That's my intelligence. That's my gift. Remember all of us are different and do things differently and think differently.

My point is, if having your mind is what you find more beneficial than your legs, than go with it. Have no regrets! God is Good! All the time!

Marie

1. You are intelligent.
2. You are intelligent.
3. You are intelligent.
4. I don't lie, I'm harsh, but always honest.
5. I still think you're intelligent.
6. I love you, thank you. <3
Okay, but nonetheless, this thread is about you. I was merely using myself as an example. In which to say, I'm intelligent through what I do.
The verb is real but the adjective is only a hypothetical ideal. ~ Freedo
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 10:31:08 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:30:10 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:28:20 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.

You just thought I could not move? LOL
No man the decision is not between cripple or brain
its between extreme extreme pain or brain

Dude f*ck your brain. Take the meds. At least you'd be a happy motherf*cker

lol I'd be a stupid happy motha facker
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:32:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:31:08 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:30:10 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:28:20 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.

You just thought I could not move? LOL
No man the decision is not between cripple or brain
its between extreme extreme pain or brain

Dude f*ck your brain. Take the meds. At least you'd be a happy motherf*cker

lol I'd be a stupid happy motha facker

I'd rather be a stupid happy motherf*cker than a smart sad motherf*cker in pain.

Life is all about happiness nigga. Happiness is the only thing in the world that is a means to itself. Everything you do is for happiness. Choose happy.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:32:36 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:31:08 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:30:10 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:28:20 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.

You just thought I could not move? LOL
No man the decision is not between cripple or brain
its between extreme extreme pain or brain

Dude f*ck your brain. Take the meds. At least you'd be a happy motherf*cker

lol I'd be a stupid happy motha facker

I'd rather be a stupid happy motherf*cker than a smart sad motherf*cker in pain.

Life is all about happiness nigga. Happiness is the only thing in the world that is a means to itself. Everything you do is for happiness. Choose happy.

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:40:41 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:39:10 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:37:49 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM, Ajabi wrote:

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...

I didn't even know what that was until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

lol I can't believe I just discovered this.
I came to this conclusion on my own when I was a deep-thinking middle schooler. I didn't know there was a whole study on it.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 10:44:34 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:40:41 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:39:10 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:37:49 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM, Ajabi wrote:

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...

I didn't even know what that was until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

lol I can't believe I just discovered this.
I came to this conclusion on my own when I was a deep-thinking middle schooler. I didn't know there was a whole study on it.

Hahah read up about it then, you should get to read some interesting arguments.
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:46:34 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:44:34 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:40:41 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:39:10 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:37:49 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM, Ajabi wrote:

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...

I didn't even know what that was until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

lol I can't believe I just discovered this.
I came to this conclusion on my own when I was a deep-thinking middle schooler. I didn't know there was a whole study on it.

Hahah read up about it then, you should get to read some interesting arguments.

OMG DUDE I'VE GOT IT.

Why don't you amputate your legs? Then you don't have to feel them anymore, plus you can keep your brain.
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 10:51:35 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:46:34 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:44:34 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:40:41 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:39:10 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:37:49 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM, Ajabi wrote:

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...

I didn't even know what that was until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

lol I can't believe I just discovered this.
I came to this conclusion on my own when I was a deep-thinking middle schooler. I didn't know there was a whole study on it.

Hahah read up about it then, you should get to read some interesting arguments.

OMG DUDE I'VE GOT IT.

Why don't you amputate your legs? Then you don't have to feel them anymore, plus you can keep your brain.

You idiot I face neuropathic pain, even if I did not have my legs I would feel pain in them. Its known as phantom limb syndrome.
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 10:52:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:51:35 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:46:34 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:44:34 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:40:41 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:39:10 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:37:49 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM, Ajabi wrote:

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...

I didn't even know what that was until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

lol I can't believe I just discovered this.
I came to this conclusion on my own when I was a deep-thinking middle schooler. I didn't know there was a whole study on it.

Hahah read up about it then, you should get to read some interesting arguments.

OMG DUDE I'VE GOT IT.

Why don't you amputate your legs? Then you don't have to feel them anymore, plus you can keep your brain.

You idiot I face neuropathic pain, even if I did not have my legs I would feel pain in them. Its known as phantom limb syndrome.

OMG DUDE I'VE GOT IT!!!

Kill yourself! Then you won't be able to face neuropathic pain!
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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12/14/2014 10:58:55 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
I would take happiness and a pain free life over intelligence any day of the week. I understand how it's a terrible trade off though--is there any chance that you may get used to it? Maybe the fog causing your poor performance is because you just aren't used to it yet
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 11:03:55 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:58:55 AM, thett3 wrote:
I would take happiness and a pain free life over intelligence any day of the week. I understand how it's a terrible trade off though--is there any chance that you may get used to it? Maybe the fog causing your poor performance is because you just aren't used to it yet

The medicine is meant to slow my brain down. You see the pain is neuropathic. Well it might be easier for you, and while being pain free is awesome it just is not me. It just is not me. I mean all I have is my intelligence...and yet the pain is so great. It is not fair, I am 17 years old. :(

But hai hai hai, I guess thats life. I think I'll go with no medicine, and take the pain. :P
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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12/14/2014 11:04:07 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:26:59 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:25:06 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:21:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:15:49 AM, Ajabi wrote:

But without the pain, I may be happy, and more calm but I'm more hazy. I can't analyze or think the way I would like to. I can usually tell what people are thinking, when they are lying, easily. I could not do that, I could not make groups, could not understnd patterns. I could not manipulate people the way I'm used to lol.

I could not to Maths, I could not study. And yet I was painfree.

This is perhaps the most important decision of my entire life up to this moment. Haha.

I guess you could decide based on your interests.
Do you like physical activity more than you like math?

Of course. But this is not about physical activity, its about the pain. The pain I feel is continuous, moving hurts, walking hurts like hell, I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without such an extreme pain that I would scream. I can't go out to parties because moving makes me hurt, and the pain intensifies at night.

I spend many sleepless nights, when I wake up the pain is enough to make me puke nearly every single day. Extrme amounts of nausea. My back hurts, my feet hurt, my leg hurts.

I cannot pick up anything more than a coupe of pounds, stairs for me are like Dante's Inferno.

lol dude f*ck your brain
take the meds.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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12/14/2014 11:04:20 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 10:52:29 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:51:35 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:46:34 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:44:34 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:40:41 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:39:10 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:37:49 AM, Defro wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:35:47 AM, Ajabi wrote:

Hedonism much?
http://www.sharenator.com...

I didn't even know what that was until now.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

lol I can't believe I just discovered this.
I came to this conclusion on my own when I was a deep-thinking middle schooler. I didn't know there was a whole study on it.

Hahah read up about it then, you should get to read some interesting arguments.

OMG DUDE I'VE GOT IT.

Why don't you amputate your legs? Then you don't have to feel them anymore, plus you can keep your brain.

You idiot I face neuropathic pain, even if I did not have my legs I would feel pain in them. Its known as phantom limb syndrome.

OMG DUDE I'VE GOT IT!!!

Kill yourself! Then you won't be able to face neuropathic pain!

Then I'd go to hell and suffer the pain of hellfire...
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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12/14/2014 11:05:28 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 11:03:55 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:58:55 AM, thett3 wrote:
I would take happiness and a pain free life over intelligence any day of the week. I understand how it's a terrible trade off though--is there any chance that you may get used to it? Maybe the fog causing your poor performance is because you just aren't used to it yet

The medicine is meant to slow my brain down. You see the pain is neuropathic. Well it might be easier for you, and while being pain free is awesome it just is not me. It just is not me. I mean all I have is my intelligence...and yet the pain is so great. It is not fair, I am 17 years old. :(

It's definitely not fair...it's terrible to hear. I don't think all you have is your intelligence, though

But hai hai hai, I guess thats life. I think I'll go with no medicine, and take the pain. :P

It's your choice
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Defro
Posts: 847
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12/14/2014 11:06:26 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/14/2014 11:03:55 AM, Ajabi wrote:
At 12/14/2014 10:58:55 AM, thett3 wrote:
I would take happiness and a pain free life over intelligence any day of the week. I understand how it's a terrible trade off though--is there any chance that you may get used to it? Maybe the fog causing your poor performance is because you just aren't used to it yet

The medicine is meant to slow my brain down. You see the pain is neuropathic. Well it might be easier for you, and while being pain free is awesome it just is not me. It just is not me. I mean all I have is my intelligence...and yet the pain is so great. It is not fair, I am 17 years old. :(

But hai hai hai, I guess thats life. I think I'll go with no medicine, and take the pain. :P

Thett has a very good point.
It was like this for me too. I eventually got used to how retarded I got and it didn't bother me.
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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12/14/2014 11:35:25 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Based on what you've written, it seems that you're defining your view of yourself based on your intelligence. It's funny, but it's only after I sat down to try and explain to you why I think that's a bad idea that I realized it's one of my biggest fears. In hindsight, the thought of being defined solely by intelligence is something I've been running from my entire life. No deep seated emotional issues there, I'm sure :P

This is an advice thread, so I'll give it at the risk of getting into things that aren't my place, but I really think based on what you're saying if you choose not to take the medicine you'll be making a terrible mistake. My man, there are worse things than getting a C on a math test and constant excruciating pain and missing out on appreciation of the opposite sex are two of those things. Socrates once said "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

I always took that to mean more than just your choice in a wife, but rather a reflection on the life of a philosopher or a thinker. It's a hard one. It's a depressing one, and from everything I've seen it's utterly lonely as well. It's something I want no part of and if you're selling away your physical fitness to live that life I think you're making a terrible mistake.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right