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My reflections; individually and of the site

YYW
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1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
In a lot of ways, most of us have more in common (socially) than otherwise. Most of us are introverts, and some of us are barely extroverts who have difficulty making new friends because we're shy around new people.

The majority of us have interests that go far beyond those that people in our typical age groups have. For example, while many people are content to be talking about sports, we want to talk about things like politics and philosophy and that kind of thing... or maybe, if we're especially daring, religion.

We're "cerebral" people, rather than ordinarily social people. We also, at the same time, have (in many ways) the same social strengths, and the same weaknesses/sensitivities. So, when things are going good, DDO feels great, but when things are not... everybody know's sh!t's fvcked.

I know I've posted about it before, and I'll post about it again:

Regardless of how we feel about each other, as a general rule, we have more in common with each other than we do with the rest of humanity -simply by the virtue of our personalities. Whether we're republicans or democrats, socialists or libertarians (ugrrrrgh.... libertarians.... lol) ...the fact that we share this connection is not without meaning.

As this new year goes forward, let's all, together, resolve to make this place into what we want it to be -for ourselves. It would be awesome if, for instance, we had an app. I would love to be able to type responses to stuff more easily on my iPhone, and I'm sure all of you who have iPhones and iPads, and other brands of smartphones feel the same way.

But, stuff like that is mostly out of our control. What is within our control is how we interact with each other.

There have been some really amazing things that I've seen happen on this site. I've seen people's lives change for the better and worse. I've seen people grow intellectually, and I've seen people grow cynical. I've seen people become both happier and sadder, and I've met people who I hope I will remain close with for the rest of my life and people who I could go the rest of my life without seeing.

That is to day, DDO is like every other social outlet in existence; with the only difference being the medium by which that interaction takes place. What is remarkable is the fact that such a unique cross-section of people have found their way here, and remain. We come because of our more "cerebral" nature, we stay because we meet people like us who become our friends. We leave only when we lose sight of that.

And I have come very close to closing my account, because the cost-benefit analysis changed for the worse -make no mistake. I think most of us have. Last December was abysmal. It wasn't just bad or unpleasant; it was hostile and radioactive. Yes, there have probably been times in the past where it was worse. But for most of us, that was the most intense and enduring period of unpleasantness that we have ever witnessed on the site. It's the worst I've seen in the three and a half years I've been on DDO.

The reasons that that happened are many. I certainly contributed both directly and indirectly to the election becoming what it did. Others did as well. I had no idea how personally most people would take it, and even though I thought at the time I was making the right decisions, I know now that they were not.

So going forward, I'm going to try to be nicer. There are some bridges that will remain burned for the rest of the time I spend on this website. Once someone attacks bsh1 and I without cause, for instance, in a notedly malicious way, there is no going back. The way that a lot of established members responded to that and other madness that transpired a the time permanently burned any chance of friendship with those people going forward.

But if I haven't blocked you, then we're good, and I'd like to keep it that way. I hate blocking people, I hate having blocked and I hate even more that blocking someone even became necessary. And yet, sometimes it unfortunately is.

In this year of 2015, as we move forward into the second half of this first month, we all have a choice to make and I'd like that we all chose to be nice to others whether we want too or not. One of the things that I used to like so much about DDO is that I can say and do, generally, precisely what I like, because I like. That kind of freedom is empowering, but I've realized that in a lot of ways I "set the tone" for the site.

That's not to sound arrogant, so much as it is to say that I didn't really realize the extent to which my presence on DDO has a lot more of an impact on its wellbeing than others. Maybe that's just because I'm such a prolific poster. Maybe it's because of what I say in those posts. Who knows. The point is that I'm going to try to be nicer to people, because it's the right thing to do -both for others, individually, and for the site, generally.

I've said in the past that (ripping off Ghandi) we've got to be the change we want to see in DDO. Ghandi and I should share a Tikka Masala in heaven, lol. This is me, now, saying that I'm going to try to do that. I make no promises as to whether I'll succeed, because in a lot of ways I can take out the stress I'm feeling at a given time (totally unintentionally) on those around me. And my life, while very good, is extremely stressful. So, let's keep expectations managed here.

But, I also think that at the same time, another thing I've realized about growing up is that it becomes easier to be forgiving of others' mistakes, shortcomings and general deficiencies when you become aware of your own. I have a fiery temper, for example. It's very hard to "set ablaze" but I burn like napalm once lit. I'm trying to manage that.
Tsar of DDO
bsh1
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1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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YYW
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1/16/2015 9:25:45 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Cheers :)
Tsar of DDO
carriead20
Posts: 1,394
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1/16/2015 10:46:05 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:
In a lot of ways, most of us have more in common (socially) than otherwise. Most of us are introverts, and some of us are barely extroverts who have difficulty making new friends because we're shy around new people.
True
The majority of us have interests that go far beyond those that people in our typical age groups have. For example, while many people are content to be talking about sports, we want to talk about things like politics and philosophy and that kind of thing... or maybe, if we're especially daring, religion.
True yet again
We're "cerebral" people, rather than ordinarily social people. We also, at the same time, have (in many ways) the same social strengths, and the same weaknesses/sensitivities. So, when things are going good, DDO feels great, but when things are not... everybody know's sh!t's fvcked.
Good observations
I know I've posted about it before, and I'll post about it again:

Regardless of how we feel about each other, as a general rule, we have more in common with each other than we do with the rest of humanity -simply by the virtue of our personalities. Whether we're republicans or democrats, socialists or libertarians (ugrrrrgh.... libertarians.... lol) ...the fact that we share this connection is not without meaning.
Sad but true yet again
As this new year goes forward, let's all, together, resolve to make this place into what we want it to be -for ourselves. It would be awesome if, for instance, we had an app. I would love to be able to type responses to stuff more easily on my iPhone, and I'm sure all of you who have iPhones and iPads, and other brands of smartphones feel the same way.
That'd be nice
But, stuff like that is mostly out of our control. What is within our control is how we interact with each other.

There have been some really amazing things that I've seen happen on this site. I've seen people's lives change for the better and worse. I've seen people grow intellectually, and I've seen people grow cynical. I've seen people become both happier and sadder, and I've met people who I hope I will remain close with for the rest of my life and people who I could go the rest of my life without seeing.
Cheers!
That is today, DDO is like every other social outlet in existence; with the only difference being the medium by which that interaction takes place. What is remarkable is the fact that such a unique cross-section of people have found their way here, and remain. We come because of our more "cerebral" nature, we stay because we meet people like us who become our friends. We leave only when we lose sight of that.
Or if we get too addicted and start to destroy our lives IRL
And I have come very close to closing my account, because the cost-benefit analysis changed for the worse -make no mistake. I think most of us have. Last December was abysmal. It wasn't just bad or unpleasant; it was hostile and radioactive. Yes, there have probably been times in the past where it was worse. But for most of us, that was the most intense and enduring period of unpleasantness that we have ever witnessed on the site. It's the worst I've seen in the three and a half years I've been on DDO.
It was pretty bad
The reasons that that happened are many. I certainly contributed both directly and indirectly to the election becoming what it did. Others did as well. I had no idea how personally most people would take it, and even though I thought at the time I was making the right decisions, I know now that they were not.
Yeah some were pretty ify at best.
So going forward, I'm going to try to be nicer. There are some bridges that will remain burned for the rest of the time I spend on this website. Once someone attacks bsh1 and I without cause, for instance, in a notedly malicious way, there is no going back. The way that a lot of established members responded to that and other madness that transpired at the time permanently burned any chance of friendship with those people going forward.

But if I haven't blocked you, then we're good, and I'd like to keep it that way. I hate blocking people, I hate having blocked and I hate even more that blocking someone even became necessary. And yet, sometimes it unfortunately is.
We're good? That's...good
In this year of 2015, as we move forward into the second half of this first month, we all have a choice to make and I'd like that we all chose to be nice to others whether we want too or not. One of the things that I used to like so much about DDO is that I can say and do, generally, precisely what I like, because I like. That kind of freedom is empowering, but I've realized that in a lot of ways I "set the tone" for the site.

That's not to sound arrogant, so much as it is to say that I didn't really realize the extent to which my presence on DDO has a lot more of an impact on its wellbeing than others. Maybe that's just because I'm such a prolific poster. Maybe it's because of what I say in those posts. Who knows. The point is that I'm going to try to be nicer to people, because it's the right thing to do -both for others, individually, and for the site, generally.

I've said in the past that (ripping off Ghandi) we've got to be the change we want to see in DDO. Ghandi and I should share a Tikka Masala in heaven, lol. This is me, now, saying that I'm going to try to do that. I make no promises as to whether I'll succeed, because in a lot of ways I can take out the stress I'm feeling at a given time (totally unintentionally) on those around me. And my life, while very good, is extremely stressful. So, let's keep expectations managed here.

But, I also think that at the same time, another thing I've realized about growing up is that it becomes easier to be forgiving of others' mistakes, shortcomings and general deficiencies when you become aware of your own. I have a fiery temper, for example. It's very hard to "set ablaze" but I burn like napalm once lit. I'm trying to manage that.
To all the people fighting a hard battle out there - life's giving you a pretty hard beating. There's no sugarcoating that, but there's no shadow that's free of light. When life sneers at you and asks, "Ready to go again?" - Raise your hand. Reach out to victory. Don't give in.

---Help Bsh and YYW see each other---
http://www.gofundme.com...
mishapqueen
Posts: 3,995
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1/16/2015 11:37:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
There is more truth to "the golden rule" than people give it credit for.
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam
bsh1
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1/17/2015 12:02:51 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 11:37:34 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
There is more truth to "the golden rule" than people give it credit for.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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bsh1
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1/17/2015 12:22:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 12:21:02 AM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 1/17/2015 12:02:51 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/16/2015 11:37:34 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
There is more truth to "the golden rule" than people give it credit for.

https://c1.staticflickr.com...

-_-
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
neptune1bond
Posts: 400
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1/17/2015 3:49:24 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
There's a lot of very nice things you said there. I agree with some. I definitely don't find a lot of people on here that I feel are very similar to me at all except in some very superficial ways. I, nonetheless, like a lot of people on here and someone has to be pretty horrendous (according to my perception) for me to actually dislike them (much less hate them). I wouldn't think that posts like these actually apply to me either way since I don't really engage the social portion of this website and probably don't come to anyone's mind when they make these types of threads, but there it is. I also hope that DDO does improve, although judging by the last month's ugliness it seems people disagree on what actually counts as "improvement". I do think that we could all stand to make every effort to improve ourselves constantly, but I hope that these improvements happen throughout the year and not just because of "New Years Resolutions". It's not that I have anything against people who make a resolution or two for the New Year, but if a person does not build a lifelong habit of trying to improve themselves then it can be very hard to succeed at any goal that is made as a result of a tradition or celebration rather than an ingrained genuine desire to always improve upon oneself. I would never say that anyone is doomed to failure and I definitely DO applaud any efforts for improvement, but I just don't think human nature operates in those ways. Nonetheless, in spite of my skepticism, this thread gave me a little bit of the warm tinglies and that's always a good thing. :)
wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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1/17/2015 7:34:53 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:

While I appreciate a lot of the constructive tone in your post, you will have to respect that I will be critical of some specific aspects of it. Such criticism will be critical of you as a person, because well, this thread is (unsurprisingly) about you.

I've realized that in a lot of ways I "set the tone" for the site.

You really don't. Moderation does. Moderation favors you for some inexplicable reason, even though you have, without warrant, rather viciously attacked various members on this website that have done you no wrong. For moderation to condone such acts while selectively condemning others for similar (if not lesser) transgressions makes this website a lesser place than had moderation not gotten involved. This is less your fault than it is moderation's fault, as it is the moderator's responsibility to address errant conduct brought to their attention, and when they fail, and IMHO they have failed often, it becomes much harder to fault the source of such misconduct as they're not told they are doing anything wrong to begin with.

But, I also think that at the same time, another thing I've realized about growing up is that it becomes easier to be forgiving of others' mistakes, shortcomings and general deficiencies when you become aware of your own. I have a fiery temper, for example. It's very hard to "set ablaze" but I burn like napalm once lit. I'm trying to manage that.

If you simply had a short fuse, we would not be on bad terms. It is your penchant for immediately engaging in ad hominem attacks against anyone who you have a disagreement of any sort with, combined with petty, continual vindictiveness that makes it much, much harder to get along with you. That, along with my observations of others getting banned for less serious transgressions, is what led me to seek remediation through moderation, as you followed me around like a rabid dog in order to troll as you saw fit and created threads meant to harass me, all without provocation. During the subsequent restraining order that airmax placed, you continued such attacks, again without provocation, all condoned by airmax until 10 months later and faced with a pile of unaddressed violations he recused himself citing poor judgment on his part. It does not help that, due to the failure of moderation to correct your errors, you're not made aware of them and thus continue to attack all sorts of members without cause or provocation. Your rabid, reprehensible, and unwarranted attacks against my person last December were just one in a long series of untoward actions you've taken against me without provocation.

It's good that you are attempting to realize your own shortcomings and mistakes, but it's better still that such realizations are accurate.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
wrichcirw
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1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you. Short of bench, your partner is probably the biggest monster on this website. Love truly is blindness I guess.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,373
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1/17/2015 8:17:31 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:

1) I always love reading your long rants. I learn at least one new word or term.

2) BISH, UNBLOCK ME!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY BSH WOULD BE YOUR TOP!!! I'M SO SOWWIE <3
Jk jk xD
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
YYW
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1/17/2015 11:02:21 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 12:21:02 AM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 1/17/2015 12:02:51 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/16/2015 11:37:34 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
There is more truth to "the golden rule" than people give it credit for.

https://c1.staticflickr.com...

lol
Tsar of DDO
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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1/17/2015 11:07:52 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 7:34:53 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:

Why even comment on his thread?
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
YYW
Posts: 36,391
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1/17/2015 11:14:06 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 7:34:53 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:

While I appreciate a lot of the constructive tone in your post, you will have to respect that I will be critical of some specific aspects of it. Such criticism will be critical of you as a person, because well, this thread is (unsurprisingly) about you.

There are very few people on the site who don't like me, and you're one of them. The reasons you don't like me have to do with a series of disagreements which I misinterpreted as you being intentionally malicious, but that was really no more than who you are. I realize that now. And, at this point, where you are with me is a "there but for the grace of God go I."

I've realized that in a lot of ways I "set the tone" for the site.

You really don't. Moderation does.

You can chose to believe that, or not. Moderation has an important part in setting the tone, but the people who post the most and who are the most influential are the ones who actually do that. Moderation works behind the scenes; I'm out in the open. There's quite a bit of difference.

And, while you are also free to believe that moderation "favors" me, that's just not the case either. We've talked about this; I've explained it, you don't understand that because you have a perception of what should be known unknowns (for you) that is inconsistent with reality, because really they are unknown knowns.

If you simply had a short fuse, we would not be on bad terms.

Well, that would be inaccurate, because I don't have a short fuse. I said my temper was like napalm; once it starts to burn, it stays burning and does not burn out easily. It is harder to set ablaze than napalm though.

It is your penchant for immediately engaging in ad hominem attacks against anyone who you have a disagreement of any sort with, combined with petty, continual vindictiveness that makes it much, much harder to get along with you.

That's not true either. I have been very hostile with people who i perceived were intentionally hostile with me. At first you were not "intentionally" hostile with me, but it *looked* like you were, because of the way you interact with people.

By the time you got hostile with me, I was determined to see you banned from this site because of the way you conducted yourself. We could litigate that via PM if you like, but this thread is about me and not you. Even still, we've talked about that before and you don't understand that either. So, I see very little hope for reconciliation there.

It's good that you are attempting to realize your own shortcomings and mistakes, but it's better still that such realizations are accurate.

I have many shortcomings; all of us do.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
Posts: 36,391
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1/17/2015 11:16:40 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 11:07:52 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:34:53 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:

Why even comment on his thread?

He rarely gets the opportunity to publicly b!tch about me, but he never misses one because he feels like there is a great conspiracy against him which favors me. Of course, that's absurd... but he feels that way nevertheless.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
Posts: 36,391
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1/17/2015 11:20:11 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you. Short of bench, your partner is probably the biggest monster on this website. Love truly is blindness I guess.

That was wildly inappropriate, and it's stuff like that which was the reason that I wanted to see you banned all this time. It is because I know that you simply lack the social acumen to understand why that was out of line that i'm not going to make you feel bad about yourself for saying that. You should be ashamed for a comment like that, because it was not only totally unprovoked but the substance of what you said clearly implies not only that you *intended* to hurt bsh1 with that comment, but that you intended to hurt me as well. This is why you were, are, and will remain a pariah on this site.
Tsar of DDO
wrichcirw
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1/17/2015 2:26:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 11:07:52 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:

Why even comment on his thread?

That is a wonderful question you should be asking yourself, given you didn't add to the discussion.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
1harderthanyouthink
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1/17/2015 2:46:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 2:26:32 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 11:07:52 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:

Why even comment on his thread?

That is a wonderful question you should be asking yourself, given you didn't add to the discussion.

Smh...
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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1/17/2015 2:46:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 11:14:06 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:34:53 AM, wrichcirw wrote:

While I appreciate a lot of the constructive tone in your post, you will have to respect that I will be critical of some specific aspects of it. Such criticism will be critical of you as a person, because well, this thread is (unsurprisingly) about you.

There are very few people on the site who don't like me, and you're one of them.

I'm fairly certain this is not true. There are many people who don't like you that just don't bother interacting with you.

The reasons you don't like me have to do with a series of disagreements which I misinterpreted as you being intentionally malicious, but that was really no more than who you are. I realize that now. And, at this point, where you are with me is a "there but for the grace of God go I."

If that is a statement concerning the guilt and sin of others, you should be pointing that sentiment at yourself, and if you are, then apology accepted. I was clear over a year ago that with a public apology, all would have been water under the bridge. You refused then, and here we are now.

You're clear here that you misinterpreted my actions, and that given your misinterpretation, you acted inappropriately. That's a sin you've confessed to. Don't paint me guilty.

I've realized that in a lot of ways I "set the tone" for the site.

You really don't. Moderation does.

You can chose to believe that, or not. Moderation has an important part in setting the tone, but the people who post the most and who are the most influential are the ones who actually do that. Moderation works behind the scenes; I'm out in the open. There's quite a bit of difference.

There is a big difference, but it's not in the point you're making. Moderation sets the tone not because it works behind the scenes, but because it has the power to set the tone, power that no one else has. For example, you could have been banned multiple times for your various transgressions had moderation been a bit more consistent in how it handled its duties. That would have set an example for conduct on this website, similar to how ratman and aperion's banning set examples of what constituted tolerable behavior here. Instead, moderation set a different example, that of inconsistency and personal favoritism interfering with how this site operates.

You're out in the open, sure, but whether or not you set the tone for this website is not really questionable...you simply don't. You don't own this website, you have no say in how this website is run, other than to obsequiously submit recommendations for improvement, just like the rest of us. The only way this would not be true is if you have some sort of arrangement with Juggle that empowers you to make decisions for the direction of this website.

An analogy to what you're saying would be to compare you to a celebrity, which is essentially how you perceive yourself on this website. Any celebrity can be shut down by the government. It would not be hard to do. That the government permits the celebrity to go about his or her business is power the celebrity cannot reciprocate. In life, in our government, that power resides with the people...here, that power resides with Juggle.

And, while you are also free to believe that moderation "favors" me, that's just not the case either. We've talked about this; I've explained it, you don't understand that because you have a perception of what should be known unknowns (for you) that is inconsistent with reality, because really they are unknown knowns.

Given how vacuous and meaningless such an assertion is, there's no way to reply to it. You may as well just say a variant what you typically say, "accept that you're wrong", which, without reason, I see no reason to do.

If you simply had a short fuse, we would not be on bad terms.

Well, that would be inaccurate, because I don't have a short fuse. I said my temper was like napalm; once it starts to burn, it stays burning and does not burn out easily. It is harder to set ablaze than napalm though.

You're in the process of trying to get to know yourself. You may think such a statement is inaccurate, and that may simply be a product of you requiring more self-awareness.

[etc] I have been very hostile with people who i perceived were intentionally hostile with me. At first you were not "intentionally" hostile with me, but it *looked* like you were, because of the way you interact with people.

By the time you got hostile with me, I was determined to see you banned from this site because of the way you conducted yourself. We could litigate that via PM if you like, but this thread is about me and not you. Even still, we've talked about that before and you don't understand that either. So, I see very little hope for reconciliation there.

1) Disagreements are not acts of hostility.
2) I have no desire to have a PM discussion with you.
3) If you want to clear up your misinterpretation, you're more than welcome to do so. I don't recall you ever explaining it, but then again, I simply don't read most of what you post. Given what you have explained so far above, I'm sure you can find such an inclination perfectly reasonable.

It's good that you are attempting to realize your own shortcomings and mistakes, but it's better still that such realizations are accurate.

I have many shortcomings; all of us do.

Fair enough.

---

At 1/17/2015 11:16:40 AM, YYW wrote:

He rarely gets the opportunity to publicly b!tch about me, but he never misses one because he feels like there is a great conspiracy against him which favors me. Of course, that's absurd... but he feels that way nevertheless.

There are plenty of opportunities, lol. To think there aren't is absurd. Airmax has been clear that he has indeed acted on your behalf to keep you safe from his moderation decisions...whether or not it's an actual conspiracy is open to speculation. It was a failure in judgment on his part, he was open about it, and as you said we all have shortcomings.

---

At 1/17/2015 11:20:11 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you. Short of bench, your partner is probably the biggest monster on this website. Love truly is blindness I guess.

That was wildly inappropriate, and it's stuff like that which was the reason that I wanted to see you banned all this time. It is because I know that you simply lack the social acumen to understand why that was out of line that i'm not going to make you feel bad about yourself for saying that. You should be ashamed for a comment like that, because it was not only totally unprovoked but the substance of what you said clearly implies not only that you *intended* to hurt bsh1 with that comment, but that you intended to hurt me as well. This is why you were, are, and will remain a pariah on this site.

You don't define what is wildly inappropriate...moderation does. Moderation has been inconsistent with how they define appropriateness...as it is, my comment here is the same in character and tone as were your statements against me last December, and moderation sought to permit such "wildly inappropriate" actions.

As it is, I didn't intend to hurt anyone. I intended to save bsh1 from being hurt by you.

I will note the utter hypocrisy in the underlined. Such is your level of self-awareness.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
SamStevens
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1/17/2015 2:53:52 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/16/2015 8:54:07 PM, YYW wrote:
In a lot of ways, most of us have more in common (socially) than otherwise. Most of us are introverts, and some of us are barely extroverts who have difficulty making new friends because we're shy around new people.


I can attest to this.

The majority of us have interests that go far beyond those that people in our typical age groups have. For example, while many people are content to be talking about sports, we want to talk about things like politics and philosophy and that kind of thing... or maybe, if we're especially daring, religion.

We're "cerebral" people, rather than ordinarily social people. We also, at the same time, have (in many ways) the same social strengths, and the same weaknesses/sensitivities. So, when things are going good, DDO feels great, but when things are not... everybody know's sh!t's fvcked.

I know I've posted about it before, and I'll post about it again:

Regardless of how we feel about each other, as a general rule, we have more in common with each other than we do with the rest of humanity -simply by the virtue of our personalities. Whether we're republicans or democrats, socialists or libertarians (ugrrrrgh.... libertarians.... lol) ...the fact that we share this connection is not without meaning.

As this new year goes forward, let's all, together, resolve to make this place into what we want it to be -for ourselves. It would be awesome if, for instance, we had an app. I would love to be able to type responses to stuff more easily on my iPhone, and I'm sure all of you who have iPhones and iPads, and other brands of smartphones feel the same way.

But, stuff like that is mostly out of our control. What is within our control is how we interact with each other.

There have been some really amazing things that I've seen happen on this site. I've seen people's lives change for the better and worse. I've seen people grow intellectually, and I've seen people grow cynical. I've seen people become both happier and sadder, and I've met people who I hope I will remain close with for the rest of my life and people who I could go the rest of my life without seeing.

That is to day, DDO is like every other social outlet in existence; with the only difference being the medium by which that interaction takes place. What is remarkable is the fact that such a unique cross-section of people have found their way here, and remain. We come because of our more "cerebral" nature, we stay because we meet people like us who become our friends. We leave only when we lose sight of that.

And I have come very close to closing my account, because the cost-benefit analysis changed for the worse -make no mistake. I think most of us have. Last December was abysmal. It wasn't just bad or unpleasant; it was hostile and radioactive. Yes, there have probably been times in the past where it was worse. But for most of us, that was the most intense and enduring period of unpleasantness that we have ever witnessed on the site. It's the worst I've seen in the three and a half years I've been on DDO.

The reasons that that happened are many. I certainly contributed both directly and indirectly to the election becoming what it did. Others did as well. I had no idea how personally most people would take it, and even though I thought at the time I was making the right decisions, I know now that they were not.

So going forward, I'm going to try to be nicer. There are some bridges that will remain burned for the rest of the time I spend on this website. Once someone attacks bsh1 and I without cause, for instance, in a notedly malicious way, there is no going back. The way that a lot of established members responded to that and other madness that transpired a the time permanently burned any chance of friendship with those people going forward.

But if I haven't blocked you, then we're good, and I'd like to keep it that way. I hate blocking people, I hate having blocked and I hate even more that blocking someone even became necessary. And yet, sometimes it unfortunately is.

In this year of 2015, as we move forward into the second half of this first month, we all have a choice to make and I'd like that we all chose to be nice to others whether we want too or not. One of the things that I used to like so much about DDO is that I can say and do, generally, precisely what I like, because I like. That kind of freedom is empowering, but I've realized that in a lot of ways I "set the tone" for the site.

That's not to sound arrogant, so much as it is to say that I didn't really realize the extent to which my presence on DDO has a lot more of an impact on its wellbeing than others. Maybe that's just because I'm such a prolific poster. Maybe it's because of what I say in those posts. Who knows. The point is that I'm going to try to be nicer to people, because it's the right thing to do -both for others, individually, and for the site, generally.

I've said in the past that (ripping off Ghandi) we've got to be the change we want to see in DDO. Ghandi and I should share a Tikka Masala in heaven, lol. This is me, now, saying that I'm going to try to do that. I make no promises as to whether I'll succeed, because in a lot of ways I can take out the stress I'm feeling at a given time (totally unintentionally) on those around me. And my life, while very good, is extremely stressful. So, let's keep expectations managed here.

But, I also think that at the same time, another thing I've realized about growing up is that it becomes easier to be forgiving of others' mistakes, shortcomings and general deficiencies when you become aware of your own. I have a fiery temper, for example. It's very hard to "set ablaze" but I burn like napalm once lit. I'm trying to manage that.
"This is the true horror of religion. It allows perfectly decent and sane people to believe by the billions, what only lunatics could believe on their own." Sam Harris
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death responded: "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth."
Harper
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1/17/2015 3:17:15 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Agreed, we are all here to learn, share, and grow. Our personalities absolutely do make us very similar, despite (or maybe even because of) the ideological differences, and we should stick together-- being "cerebral" is ironically not all that popular within Earth's most intelligent species. And I'm sorry to hear that you and bsh1 get hate. Let's hope for a better year.
bsh1
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1/17/2015 3:24:14 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you.

If you object to seeing our relationship materialize often, I am sure you can take it up with Airmax, if you haven't already. And, no need to feel pity--I am very happy where I am.

Short of bench, your partner is probably the biggest monster on this website. Love truly is blindness I guess.

Love is blindness. No one is ever without flaws, and love turns into obsession when it can no longer recognize those flaws. What love is, however, is the willingness to see the good in people. YYW isn't a monster, and he has a lot of good in him--more than you realize.

But frankly, I am not interested in discussing my relationship with YYW with you, and I don't really appreciate your editorializing on our relationship--it's totally unnecessary.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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1/17/2015 3:28:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 3:24:14 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you.

If you object to seeing our relationship materialize often, I am sure you can take it up with Airmax, if you haven't already. And, no need to feel pity--I am very happy where I am.

1) Pity is not an objection.
2) Pertaining to your happiness, I'm sure that will change if you ever get on YYW's bad side. He has a rather pronounced mean streak, it's totally and utterly unforgiving, and his judgment (like everyone's) is prone to error.

Short of bench, your partner is probably the biggest monster on this website. Love truly is blindness I guess.

Love is blindness. No one is ever without flaws, and love turns into obsession when it can no longer recognize those flaws. What love is, however, is the willingness to see the good in people. YYW isn't a monster, and he has a lot of good in him--more than you realize.

But frankly, I am not interested in discussing my relationship with YYW with you, and I don't really appreciate your editorializing on our relationship--it's totally unnecessary.

You're free to your opinion.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
bsh1
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1/17/2015 3:37:20 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 3:28:19 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:24:14 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you.

If you object to seeing our relationship materialize often, I am sure you can take it up with Airmax, if you haven't already. And, no need to feel pity--I am very happy where I am.

1) Pity is not an objection.

Sure. But, call it intuition, but I feel like you do object.

2) Pertaining to your happiness, I'm sure that will change if you ever get on YYW's bad side. He has a rather pronounced mean streak, it's totally and utterly unforgiving, and his judgment (like everyone's) is prone to error.

We have had several arguments and disagreements. Several of them have gotten fairly tense, but they're always resolved, and I am usually the one who gets angry first. His willingness to forgive me each time, and the fact that he and I are still together attest to the sheer falsity of your description of him.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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wrichcirw
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1/17/2015 3:39:30 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 3:37:20 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:28:19 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:24:14 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you.

If you object to seeing our relationship materialize often, I am sure you can take it up with Airmax, if you haven't already. And, no need to feel pity--I am very happy where I am.

1) Pity is not an objection.

Sure. But, call it intuition, but I feel like you do object.

Your feelings betray you.

2) Pertaining to your happiness, I'm sure that will change if you ever get on YYW's bad side. He has a rather pronounced mean streak, it's totally and utterly unforgiving, and his judgment (like everyone's) is prone to error.

We have had several arguments and disagreements. Several of them have gotten fairly tense, but they're always resolved, and I am usually the one who gets angry first. His willingness to forgive me each time, and the fact that he and I are still together attest to the sheer falsity of your description of him.

That's your subjective experiences. I was not commenting on your own experiences, but on mine. I assure you there is nothing false in my statement.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
wrichcirw
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1/17/2015 3:41:47 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 3:37:20 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:28:19 PM, wrichcirw wrote:

2) Pertaining to your happiness, I'm sure that will change if you ever get on YYW's bad side. He has a rather pronounced mean streak, it's totally and utterly unforgiving, and his judgment (like everyone's) is prone to error.

We have had several arguments and disagreements. Several of them have gotten fairly tense, but they're always resolved, and I am usually the one who gets angry first. His willingness to forgive me each time, and the fact that he and I are still together attest to the sheer falsity of your description of him.

I will also note that by your characterization here, you've yet to get on his bad side. That's good for you I suppose, but that doesn't mean it won't happen. I have no idea even to this day why he became vindictive against me over a year ago...he chalks it up to misinterpreting my actions. I'd like for him to describe this misinterpretation.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?
bsh1
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1/17/2015 3:42:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 3:39:30 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:37:20 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:28:19 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:24:14 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you.

If you object to seeing our relationship materialize often, I am sure you can take it up with Airmax, if you haven't already. And, no need to feel pity--I am very happy where I am.

1) Pity is not an objection.

Sure. But, call it intuition, but I feel like you do object.

Your feelings betray you.

You're free to your opinion.

2) Pertaining to your happiness, I'm sure that will change if you ever get on YYW's bad side. He has a rather pronounced mean streak, it's totally and utterly unforgiving, and his judgment (like everyone's) is prone to error.

We have had several arguments and disagreements. Several of them have gotten fairly tense, but they're always resolved, and I am usually the one who gets angry first. His willingness to forgive me each time, and the fact that he and I are still together attest to the sheer falsity of your description of him.

That's your subjective experiences. I was not commenting on your own experiences, but on mine. I assure you there is nothing false in my statement.

There is when you're using just your experiences with him to generalize about him as a person.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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wrichcirw
Posts: 11,196
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1/17/2015 3:45:14 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/17/2015 3:42:19 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:39:30 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:37:20 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:28:19 PM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/17/2015 3:24:14 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/17/2015 7:38:28 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
At 1/16/2015 9:19:45 PM, bsh1 wrote:
I agree with literally everything you've said, and I think that this is a positive resolution to make.

Every time I see your relationship materialize in the forums (and it's unfortunately very difficult to avoid, as it's stuck on your signature and you post often), I feel pity for you.

If you object to seeing our relationship materialize often, I am sure you can take it up with Airmax, if you haven't already. And, no need to feel pity--I am very happy where I am.

1) Pity is not an objection.

Sure. But, call it intuition, but I feel like you do object.

Your feelings betray you.

You're free to your opinion.

Indeed, and my opinion here constitutes right from wrong, as you're attempting to say that I'm wrong in how I am characterizing my own opinion. I do not object to your relationship. You may disagree, but you'd be wrong to do so.

2) Pertaining to your happiness, I'm sure that will change if you ever get on YYW's bad side. He has a rather pronounced mean streak, it's totally and utterly unforgiving, and his judgment (like everyone's) is prone to error.

We have had several arguments and disagreements. Several of them have gotten fairly tense, but they're always resolved, and I am usually the one who gets angry first. His willingness to forgive me each time, and the fact that he and I are still together attest to the sheer falsity of your description of him.

That's your subjective experiences. I was not commenting on your own experiences, but on mine. I assure you there is nothing false in my statement.

There is when you're using just your experiences with him to generalize about him as a person.

Please tell me what generalized statement I made.
At 8/9/2013 9:41:24 AM, wrichcirw wrote:
If you are civil with me, I will be civil to you. If you decide to bring unreasonable animosity to bear in a reasonable discussion, then what would you expect other than to get flustered?