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A question about 'hurt'

GlimmerOfHope24
Posts: 10
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3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.
ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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3/24/2015 11:29:27 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.

Nothing is unforgivable with the love and understanding achieved through Christ Jesus.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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3/24/2015 12:02:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
My best friend was killed a few years back. I haven't and wouldn't forgive the person responsible.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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lannan13
Posts: 23,022
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3/24/2015 12:11:35 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.

Define "unforgivable."
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

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GlimmerOfHope24
Posts: 10
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3/24/2015 2:24:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 12:11:35 PM, lannan13 wrote:
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.

Define "unforgivable."

I'm not sure how to. It'll be on a personal basis I suppose.
mishapqueen
Posts: 3,995
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3/24/2015 3:28:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 11:29:27 AM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.

Nothing is unforgivable with the love and understanding achieved through Christ Jesus.

Amen
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lannan13
Posts: 23,022
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3/25/2015 1:06:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.

I nearly broke someone's arm when they grabbed my ID from me. I guess that counts?
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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Lee001
Posts: 3,168
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3/25/2015 2:59:52 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Sometimes it's hard to forgive...

You can forgive, but never forget.
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ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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3/25/2015 3:34:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/25/2015 2:59:52 PM, Lee001 wrote:
Sometimes it's hard to forgive...

You can forgive, but never forget.

Forgiving is forgetting in a sense. Obviously the memory will never go away completely but true forgiveness makes it so you'll treat the other person the same as before an incident. If you can't do that, and in essence "forget" what they did to you, then you haven't really forgiven them.
GlimmerOfHope24
Posts: 10
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3/26/2015 9:18:15 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Forgiving is forgetting in a sense. Obviously the memory will never go away completely but true forgiveness makes it so you'll treat the other person the same as before an incident. If you can't do that, and in essence "forget" what they did to you, then you haven't really forgiven them.

True.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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3/26/2015 5:38:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Forgiveness is often lauded or held up as a social ideal, when in fact it can often be a naive and dangerous thing. It can prolong your exposure to problem people and scenarios, set lowered standards of behavior, hinder social progress, and be psychologically and emotionally damaging. Forgive when appropriate.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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YYW
Posts: 36,252
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3/26/2015 5:55:08 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/26/2015 5:38:26 PM, Maikuru wrote:
Forgiveness is often lauded or held up as a social ideal, when in fact it can often be a naive and dangerous thing. It can prolong your exposure to problem people and scenarios, set lowered standards of behavior, hinder social progress, and be psychologically and emotionally damaging. Forgive when appropriate.

But can't you forgive someone while also cutting them out of your life?
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cybertron1998
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3/26/2015 7:17:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/26/2015 6:01:26 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Nothing is unforgivable.

Took the words right out of my mouth
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Zarroette
Posts: 2,951
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3/27/2015 2:23:39 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/26/2015 5:38:26 PM, Maikuru wrote:
Forgiveness is often lauded or held up as a social ideal, when in fact it can often be a naive and dangerous thing. It can prolong your exposure to problem people and scenarios, set lowered standards of behavior, hinder social progress, and be psychologically and emotionally damaging. Forgive when appropriate.

This ^

"Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you" - Benjamin Franklin
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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3/27/2015 1:28:10 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/26/2015 5:38:26 PM, Maikuru wrote:
Forgiveness is often lauded or held up as a social ideal, when in fact it can often be a naive and dangerous thing. It can prolong your exposure to problem people and scenarios, set lowered standards of behavior, hinder social progress, and be psychologically and emotionally damaging. Forgive when appropriate.

Isn't there a difference between forgiveness and dismissal?
Forgive, but do not forget. Don't hold a grudge.

I suppose in extreme circumstances (i.e. your friend) this is likely difficult or unrealistic, but, in general day-to-day activities, I'd say forgiveness is acceptable, just remember it to establish a pattern. I don't see severing relationships as mutually exclusive to forgiving them.
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Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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3/27/2015 5:04:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/26/2015 5:55:08 PM, YYW wrote:
At 3/26/2015 5:38:26 PM, Maikuru wrote:
Forgiveness is often lauded or held up as a social ideal, when in fact it can often be a naive and dangerous thing. It can prolong your exposure to problem people and scenarios, set lowered standards of behavior, hinder social progress, and be psychologically and emotionally damaging. Forgive when appropriate.

But can't you forgive someone while also cutting them out of your life?

Sure, and I should emphasize that the comments I made above probably should not constitute the norm. The issue is the mentality that forgiveness is an ideal or should be sought in every circumstance, and that can easily perpetuate harm. Put another way, many instances of serious or prolonged abuse are the result of continued, ultimately self-defeating attempts at forgiveness.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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3/27/2015 5:07:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/27/2015 1:28:10 PM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 3/26/2015 5:38:26 PM, Maikuru wrote:
Forgiveness is often lauded or held up as a social ideal, when in fact it can often be a naive and dangerous thing. It can prolong your exposure to problem people and scenarios, set lowered standards of behavior, hinder social progress, and be psychologically and emotionally damaging. Forgive when appropriate.

Isn't there a difference between forgiveness and dismissal?
Forgive, but do not forget. Don't hold a grudge.

I'm not sure what you mean by dismissal, but holding a grudge is not necessarily a bad thing. Anger or awareness of injustice can be a powerful catalyst for change.

I suppose in extreme circumstances (i.e. your friend) this is likely difficult or unrealistic, but, in general day-to-day activities, I'd say forgiveness is acceptable, just remember it to establish a pattern. I don't see severing relationships as mutually exclusive to forgiving them.

I agree that people are probably better off forgiving most of the time, if we're talking about minor transgressions. I also agree that forgiveness is not mutually exclusive to severing ties with someone. My point is more so that forgiveness is detrimental when seen as a necessity or an ideal.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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3/27/2015 6:14:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.

If somebody hurts you in a way that is unforgivable, please seek immediate psychological help. I am serious. That type of feeling is the same one that can turn people into monsters who end up being stalkers and murderers or otherwise do things that involve inappropriate types of revenge.

Just invade people don't know what a stalker is (because often stalkers are too stupid to even know they are a stalker), if you call somebody like 10 times in a day, make fake profiles on facebook because they blocked your real one, or just happen to run into them in places they normally go, you are a stalker. If you keep trying to get back together with a girl who broke up with you, you are a stalker. Seek psychological help.

Even if you do none of these things and still feel somebody has harmed you in an unforgivable way, you still need professional help, because those types of emotions can destroy your peace of mind.
Adam_Godzilla
Posts: 2,487
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3/28/2015 9:07:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/24/2015 11:26:45 AM, GlimmerOfHope24 wrote:
Have you ever hurt someone, or been hurt by someone, to such an extent so that it's unforgiveable?

I've been hurt and hurt people to extents beyond forgiveness. And yet it is always forgiven. Holding a grudge gets tiring.

Time heals.

If so, please tell and explain it.
I'm interested in hearing people's stories.
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