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Why nice guys become jerks

Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/28/2015 4:56:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
So why do nice guys become jerks? Why do they become such hurtful, heartless, cold, angry souls when they're more attractive being kind? Perhaps for the following reasons:

1. Because we're not taken seriously " When we share our feelings, girls feel the need to play with them then dump us back in the friend-zone. It may build up anger and resentment.

2. Because we're tired of being pushed around " We hate it when we're another person's "safety net", that guy you can always run to in case your current relationship doesn't work out. We don't want to be your last choice, we want to be your 1st one. We're not your personal teddy bear that you can cuddle then drop later whenever you feel like.

3. Because being nice makes us vulnerable " When we've been hurt, we blame our kindness for our weakness. We may badly hurt the girls we like and not care because we want to be strong. We hate being weak. Why should we tell a girl our feelings? So she can awkwardly drop the friendship? So she can play us for fools? We'd rather brush her off.

4. Because we don't love ourselves " We may change our attitude, appearance, lifestyle, and do things to feel better about ourselves. Cruelty is an expression of our lack of love.

We know we have potential to be kind-hearted men who are confident leaders but we make bad choices.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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4/28/2015 9:01:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
"Kindess does not show weakness, but strength and resolution."
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/29/2015 8:10:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/28/2015 9:01:55 PM, cybertron1998 wrote:
"Kindess does not show weakness, but strength and resolution."

Very true...on the other hand, kindness is a strength i ought to work on cultivating...but sometimes i'm afraid of my own strengths...
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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4/29/2015 11:36:07 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/28/2015 4:56:11 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
So why do nice guys become jerks? Why do they become such hurtful, heartless, cold, angry souls when they're more attractive being kind? Perhaps for the following reasons:

1. Because we're not taken seriously " When we share our feelings, girls feel the need to play with them then dump us back in the friend-zone. It may build up anger and resentment.
Maybe nice guys should hang out with nice girls, then.
This issue is a two-way street, so you can't play the victim, since you choose to associate with these people.

2. Because we're tired of being pushed around " We hate it when we're another person's "safety net", that guy you can always run to in case your current relationship doesn't work out. We don't want to be your last choice, we want to be your 1st one. We're not your personal teddy bear that you can cuddle then drop later whenever you feel like.
Why is this bad? If she decides she didn't want the first choice, are you now not her number one choice? If not, then, again, it sounds like the type of women you chase after are the problem.

3. Because being nice makes us vulnerable " When we've been hurt, we blame our kindness for our weakness. We may badly hurt the girls we like and not care because we want to be strong. We hate being weak. Why should we tell a girl our feelings? So she can awkwardly drop the friendship? So she can play us for fools? We'd rather brush her off.
Does not follow from the other two, or your third point. If you are being mean, that doesn't make you nice. Also, kindness =/= being nice all the time or being walked over.

4. Because we don't love ourselves " We may change our attitude, appearance, lifestyle, and do things to feel better about ourselves. Cruelty is an expression of our lack of love.
Not even sure what this means.

We know we have potential to be kind-hearted men who are confident leaders but we make bad choices.

None of this explains why nice guys become jerks, it explains why they are no longer nice. There is middle ground, you know.
My work here is, finally, done.
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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4/29/2015 11:45:46 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/28/2015 4:56:11 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
When we share our feelings, girls feel the need to play with them then dump us back in the friend-zone. It may build up anger and resentment.

lol did you just use the term friend zone seriously?
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/29/2015 1:05:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 11:36:07 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 4/28/2015 4:56:11 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
So why do nice guys become jerks? Why do they become such hurtful, heartless, cold, angry souls when they're more attractive being kind? Perhaps for the following reasons:

1. Because we're not taken seriously " When we share our feelings, girls feel the need to play with them then dump us back in the friend-zone. It may build up anger and resentment.
Maybe nice guys should hang out with nice girls, then.
This issue is a two-way street, so you can't play the victim, since you choose to associate with these people.

2. Because we're tired of being pushed around " We hate it when we're another person's "safety net", that guy you can always run to in case your current relationship doesn't work out. We don't want to be your last choice, we want to be your 1st one. We're not your personal teddy bear that you can cuddle then drop later whenever you feel like.
Why is this bad? If she decides she didn't want the first choice, are you now not her number one choice? If not, then, again, it sounds like the type of women you chase after are the problem.

3. Because being nice makes us vulnerable " When we've been hurt, we blame our kindness for our weakness. We may badly hurt the girls we like and not care because we want to be strong. We hate being weak. Why should we tell a girl our feelings? So she can awkwardly drop the friendship? So she can play us for fools? We'd rather brush her off.
Does not follow from the other two, or your third point. If you are being mean, that doesn't make you nice. Also, kindness =/= being nice all the time or being walked over.

4. Because we don't love ourselves " We may change our attitude, appearance, lifestyle, and do things to feel better about ourselves. Cruelty is an expression of our lack of love.
Not even sure what this means.

We know we have potential to be kind-hearted men who are confident leaders but we make bad choices.

None of this explains why nice guys become jerks, it explains why they are no longer nice. There is middle ground, you know.

You make a good point..
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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4/30/2015 3:32:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/28/2015 4:56:11 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
So why do nice guys become jerks? Why do they become such hurtful, heartless, cold, angry souls when they're more attractive being kind? Perhaps for the following reasons:


It's just a temporary reevaluation, they don't turn into jerks. Some people who think they're nice guys, but aren't because they sit aroun b1tching about life crapping on them, even though they are a nice, turn into jerks, but those are evil people to begin with.

1. Because we're not taken seriously " When we share our feelings, girls feel the need to play with them then dump us back in the friend-zone. It may build up anger and resentment.

Stop sharing your feelings with girls genius. You're supposed to be a real man and be an emotional rock for your woman. If you want to share your feelings do it with a trusted male confidant.


2. Because we're tired of being pushed around " We hate it when we're another person's "safety net", that guy you can always run to in case your current relationship doesn't work out. We don't want to be your last choice, we want to be your 1st one. We're not your personal teddy bear that you can cuddle then drop later whenever you feel like.

You sound like a girl, being a doormat isn't being a nice guy. A lot of this negativity is just your evil stalkerness showing through. These are things you percieve but are not true. You need to stop expecting things from others and only expect things from yourself. The fact that you expect from others, is a sign of immaturity.

3. Because being nice makes us vulnerable " When we've been hurt, we blame our kindness for our weakness. We may badly hurt the girls we like and not care because we want to be strong. We hate being weak. Why should we tell a girl our feelings? So she can awkwardly drop the friendship? So she can play us for fools? We'd rather brush her off.

You're weak, not because you're nice, but because you're a shell of a man. You look outward instead of inward. When a relationship goes wrong, you blame your partner, a real man blames himself whether it's his fault or not. A real man is a rock, you my friend are not a real man, you blame society or women or this girl or that guy, when in reality a real man would blame himself. I don't know if you lacked a positive male role model in your life to pass on this information, but it's time you stopped being a pvssy and a cry baby and consider it.

4. Because we don't love ourselves " We may change our attitude, appearance, lifestyle, and do things to feel better about ourselves. Cruelty is an expression of our lack of love.


Pvssy, if you don't love yourself don't pretend you love others. Love for yourself comes first and foremost, and if you lack that, than you're a piece of crap for even trying to start a relationship with a girl and subjecting her to your sickness.

We know we have potential to be kind-hearted men who are confident leaders but we make bad choices.

None of what you said would indicate you're a confident leader.
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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5/2/2015 11:32:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
There are two types of "nice guys" The desperate pushover and the nice guy that doesn't have a twitter acct. and doesn't take sht from anyone, man or woman.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%