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Why i'm proud to be a virgin

Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/29/2015 10:44:57 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Kept my virginity for over 20 years. Many have made fun of me for being a virgin and i don't care what they think. It's not hurting my feelings. There's a constant feeling that everyone's having sex except you when they're not. There's many people who still wait until marriage. I've been pressured to "prove" my masculinity and i admit i'm insecure at times but sex won't help me. It won't make me any wiser or any more manly, it just means i've had sex but insecurities will still be there.

A misconception of virgins is that they're clueless on sex. Although i'm a virgin, i educate myself on sex. Purity is no excuse for ignorance. I'm a virgin not cuz i need approval to show i have skills, but cuz i value myself. If you don't like it, you can unfriend me. I'm tired of virgins being stereotyped. While i have strong sexual urges, sex isn't what i look for in a girl. There's many different ways i can show my girl love (talking, going out, joking, buying her flowers, watching movies, hugging, holding her hand, etc.) why does it have to resort to sex?

Having sex doesn't make you a man cuz you already are. We don't need another man cuz there's too many men in the world. We need responsible confident and loving men of honor, courage, inner strength, and justice. We need men who will stand up for what's right despite all the evils faced. Sex is only a very small part of life. Life, love, and loyalty are all part of the bigger picture.
zmikecuber
Posts: 4,068
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4/29/2015 11:44:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 10:44:57 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Kept my virginity for over 20 years. Many have made fun of me for being a virgin and i don't care what they think. It's not hurting my feelings. There's a constant feeling that everyone's having sex except you when they're not. There's many people who still wait until marriage. I've been pressured to "prove" my masculinity and i admit i'm insecure at times but sex won't help me. It won't make me any wiser or any more manly, it just means i've had sex but insecurities will still be there.

A misconception of virgins is that they're clueless on sex. Although i'm a virgin, i educate myself on sex. Purity is no excuse for ignorance. I'm a virgin not cuz i need approval to show i have skills, but cuz i value myself. If you don't like it, you can unfriend me. I'm tired of virgins being stereotyped. While i have strong sexual urges, sex isn't what i look for in a girl. There's many different ways i can show my girl love (talking, going out, joking, buying her flowers, watching movies, hugging, holding her hand, etc.) why does it have to resort to sex?

Having sex doesn't make you a man cuz you already are. We don't need another man cuz there's too many men in the world. We need responsible confident and loving men of honor, courage, inner strength, and justice. We need men who will stand up for what's right despite all the evils faced. Sex is only a very small part of life. Life, love, and loyalty are all part of the bigger picture.

I second this motion.
"Delete your fvcking sig" -1hard

"primal man had the habit, when he came into contact with fire, of satisfying the infantile desire connected with it, by putting it out with a stream of his urine... Putting out the fire by micturating was therefore a kind of sexual act with a male, an enjoyment of sexual potency in a homosexual competition."
Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/29/2015 1:01:54 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 11:44:03 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 4/29/2015 10:44:57 AM, Truth_seeker wrote:
Kept my virginity for over 20 years. Many have made fun of me for being a virgin and i don't care what they think. It's not hurting my feelings. There's a constant feeling that everyone's having sex except you when they're not. There's many people who still wait until marriage. I've been pressured to "prove" my masculinity and i admit i'm insecure at times but sex won't help me. It won't make me any wiser or any more manly, it just means i've had sex but insecurities will still be there.

A misconception of virgins is that they're clueless on sex. Although i'm a virgin, i educate myself on sex. Purity is no excuse for ignorance. I'm a virgin not cuz i need approval to show i have skills, but cuz i value myself. If you don't like it, you can unfriend me. I'm tired of virgins being stereotyped. While i have strong sexual urges, sex isn't what i look for in a girl. There's many different ways i can show my girl love (talking, going out, joking, buying her flowers, watching movies, hugging, holding her hand, etc.) why does it have to resort to sex?

Having sex doesn't make you a man cuz you already are. We don't need another man cuz there's too many men in the world. We need responsible confident and loving men of honor, courage, inner strength, and justice. We need men who will stand up for what's right despite all the evils faced. Sex is only a very small part of life. Life, love, and loyalty are all part of the bigger picture.

I second this motion.

How so?
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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4/29/2015 1:04:25 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I've got no problems with being prideful over your virginity. That's cool.

What I will say is that sex is amazing. It's the most powerful and intimate act two lovers can perform with one another. The sensations are unique and magnificent, and the spiritual connection that you can make with your partner during that act is one of a kind.

There are, however, different degrees of sex.

For instance, the difference between simply having sex vs. making love. If you have someone that you love with all your heart, I'd say don't wait, because then it's not just having sex, but making love. It's hard to describe what the actual difference is, but it's emotional and spiritual. With having sex, you are doing it for the sake of sex (or perhaps for the sake of conception), but when you are making love, it's all about the moment - the connection - the shine in her eyes as your gently massage her body with light touches of the lips.

In experiencing both, I surely value making love over having sex. Now I'm completely off the point but whatever. All I'm saying is that if you meet the right one, and you are both in love, there's no point waiting for marriage to do it. It's an awesome experience and once you experience it you'll curse yourself for waiting so long - I promise that. (Unless it's a bad time due to inexperience, in which case, you'll get the hang of it eventually).
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Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/29/2015 1:16:37 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 1:04:25 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
I've got no problems with being prideful over your virginity. That's cool.

What I will say is that sex is amazing. It's the most powerful and intimate act two lovers can perform with one another. The sensations are unique and magnificent, and the spiritual connection that you can make with your partner during that act is one of a kind.

There are, however, different degrees of sex.

For instance, the difference between simply having sex vs. making love. If you have someone that you love with all your heart, I'd say don't wait, because then it's not just having sex, but making love. It's hard to describe what the actual difference is, but it's emotional and spiritual. With having sex, you are doing it for the sake of sex (or perhaps for the sake of conception), but when you are making love, it's all about the moment - the connection - the shine in her eyes as your gently massage her body with light touches of the lips.

In experiencing both, I surely value making love over having sex. Now I'm completely off the point but whatever. All I'm saying is that if you meet the right one, and you are both in love, there's no point waiting for marriage to do it. It's an awesome experience and once you experience it you'll curse yourself for waiting so long - I promise that. (Unless it's a bad time due to inexperience, in which case, you'll get the hang of it eventually).

I don't look at women or sex the same way anymore. When I was younger, I was a wild sex fiend. Now I lost that connection you described. If I find the right one, I want to have sex to please her. I've lost the ability to care though. I don't trust people the same. How do i know I found the right one? How do I know she won't just walk out and leave me?
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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4/29/2015 2:44:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 1:16:37 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 4/29/2015 1:04:25 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
I've got no problems with being prideful over your virginity. That's cool.

What I will say is that sex is amazing. It's the most powerful and intimate act two lovers can perform with one another. The sensations are unique and magnificent, and the spiritual connection that you can make with your partner during that act is one of a kind.

There are, however, different degrees of sex.

For instance, the difference between simply having sex vs. making love. If you have someone that you love with all your heart, I'd say don't wait, because then it's not just having sex, but making love. It's hard to describe what the actual difference is, but it's emotional and spiritual. With having sex, you are doing it for the sake of sex (or perhaps for the sake of conception), but when you are making love, it's all about the moment - the connection - the shine in her eyes as your gently massage her body with light touches of the lips.

In experiencing both, I surely value making love over having sex. Now I'm completely off the point but whatever. All I'm saying is that if you meet the right one, and you are both in love, there's no point waiting for marriage to do it. It's an awesome experience and once you experience it you'll curse yourself for waiting so long - I promise that. (Unless it's a bad time due to inexperience, in which case, you'll get the hang of it eventually).

I don't look at women or sex the same way anymore. When I was younger, I was a wild sex fiend.

How were you a wild sex fiend if you're still a virgin? I'm the one who was a wild sex fiend, juggling three girls at once while two of them go to the same highschool is no easy feat my friend.

Now I lost that connection you described. If I find the right one, I want to have sex to please her. I've lost the ability to care though. I don't trust people the same. How do i know I found the right one? How do I know she won't just walk out and leave me?

You know you've found the right one when you can tell her your deepest, darkest secrets, and she still loves you for you. You've found the right one when you realize that even if she's standing next to a supermodel, you're eyes are on her and her alone. You've know you've found the right one when you can cry on her shoulder and she builds you back up to the point where you're smiling and happy again. You also have to have trust, both in yourself and in her. Without trust, the relationship just won't work. Also, it's not about just having sex to please her, it's about engaging in the act of love physically. Both of you should benefit equally from it, emotionally and spiritually.

The risk is that you never will know if she's gonna just walk out one day. That's the game of love, it's got massive gains that are beneficial, and massive losses that can crush you. It's the risk you take, the bigger the gain, the bigger the loss. What you need to do is decide whether the risk is worth it. For me, "the one" will be the person that I think the risk is worth. Unfortunately, I've been hurt extremely bad in the past with relationships, so I know all too well the risks and deep soul-tearing pain that comes from a true heartbreak. Hence I've now got extremely high standards for who is and who isn't worth the risk - which leaves me to be very lonely at times. However, I have faith that the suffering that accompanies loneliness isn't for nothing, and when I do find the one who meets my high standards, it's going to be heaven on earth.

At that point, it's up to us to do our best in making sure that the relationship is a successful, trust-based, lasting one. We can do this with our actions, by constantly (but not overbearingly) showing our love, our affection, going on spontaneous adventures to keep things fresh, learning new things together, supporting one another no matter what, etc., all of which will lesson the risk of her leaving randomly one day. I think co-dependence is the real trick to lasting relationships though. Once you stop depending on the other for anything, including love, it's over.
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Truth_seeker
Posts: 1,811
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4/29/2015 3:05:02 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 2:44:12 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
At 4/29/2015 1:16:37 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 4/29/2015 1:04:25 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
I've got no problems with being prideful over your virginity. That's cool.

What I will say is that sex is amazing. It's the most powerful and intimate act two lovers can perform with one another. The sensations are unique and magnificent, and the spiritual connection that you can make with your partner during that act is one of a kind.

There are, however, different degrees of sex.

For instance, the difference between simply having sex vs. making love. If you have someone that you love with all your heart, I'd say don't wait, because then it's not just having sex, but making love. It's hard to describe what the actual difference is, but it's emotional and spiritual. With having sex, you are doing it for the sake of sex (or perhaps for the sake of conception), but when you are making love, it's all about the moment - the connection - the shine in her eyes as your gently massage her body with light touches of the lips.

In experiencing both, I surely value making love over having sex. Now I'm completely off the point but whatever. All I'm saying is that if you meet the right one, and you are both in love, there's no point waiting for marriage to do it. It's an awesome experience and once you experience it you'll curse yourself for waiting so long - I promise that. (Unless it's a bad time due to inexperience, in which case, you'll get the hang of it eventually).

I don't look at women or sex the same way anymore. When I was younger, I was a wild sex fiend.

How were you a wild sex fiend if you're still a virgin? I'm the one who was a wild sex fiend, juggling three girls at once while two of them go to the same highschool is no easy feat my friend.

Now I lost that connection you described. If I find the right one, I want to have sex to please her. I've lost the ability to care though. I don't trust people the same. How do i know I found the right one? How do I know she won't just walk out and leave me?

You know you've found the right one when you can tell her your deepest, darkest secrets, and she still loves you for you. You've found the right one when you realize that even if she's standing next to a supermodel, you're eyes are on her and her alone. You've know you've found the right one when you can cry on her shoulder and she builds you back up to the point where you're smiling and happy again. You also have to have trust, both in yourself and in her. Without trust, the relationship just won't work. Also, it's not about just having sex to please her, it's about engaging in the act of love physically. Both of you should benefit equally from it, emotionally and spiritually.

The risk is that you never will know if she's gonna just walk out one day. That's the game of love, it's got massive gains that are beneficial, and massive losses that can crush you. It's the risk you take, the bigger the gain, the bigger the loss. What you need to do is decide whether the risk is worth it. For me, "the one" will be the person that I think the risk is worth. Unfortunately, I've been hurt extremely bad in the past with relationships, so I know all too well the risks and deep soul-tearing pain that comes from a true heartbreak. Hence I've now got extremely high standards for who is and who isn't worth the risk - which leaves me to be very lonely at times. However, I have faith that the suffering that accompanies loneliness isn't for nothing, and when I do find the one who meets my high standards, it's going to be heaven on earth.

At that point, it's up to us to do our best in making sure that the relationship is a successful, trust-based, lasting one. We can do this with our actions, by constantly (but not overbearingly) showing our love, our affection, going on spontaneous adventures to keep things fresh, learning new things together, supporting one another no matter what, etc., all of which will lesson the risk of her leaving randomly one day. I think co-dependence is the real trick to lasting relationships though. Once you stop depending on the other for anything, including love, it's over.

True words...i want to find someone who loves me for who i am, but i also must recognize that i must be loving myself and lately, that's been hard to do. I don't care about experience, all that matters is the willingness to learn and grow. Despite all the suffering, we can make it through if we just learn to be patient and love.
BearWithMe
Posts: 4
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5/5/2015 12:07:04 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/29/2015 1:16:37 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 4/29/2015 1:04:25 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
I don't look at women or sex the same way anymore. When I was younger, I was a wild sex fiend.

How were you a wild sex fiend if you're still a virgin? I'm the one who was a wild sex fiend, juggling three girls at once while two of them go to the same highschool is no easy feat my friend.
I think they mean that they were mentally.
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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5/5/2015 12:18:05 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/5/2015 12:07:04 AM, BearWithMe wrote:
At 4/29/2015 1:16:37 PM, Truth_seeker wrote:
At 4/29/2015 1:04:25 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
I don't look at women or sex the same way anymore. When I was younger, I was a wild sex fiend.

How were you a wild sex fiend if you're still a virgin? I'm the one who was a wild sex fiend, juggling three girls at once while two of them go to the same highschool is no easy feat my friend.
I think they mean that they were mentally.

Yup, I came to the same conclusion after posting.
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