Total Posts:14|Showing Posts:1-14
Jump to topic:

Romantic attraction - healthy or not?

SM2
Posts: 546
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/3/2015 4:56:46 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
There's this girl that I like. I've never liked any girl this much before. Problem is, I keep thinking about her instead of doing things like eating, sleeping, and studying. I was going to ask her out yesterday, but I chickened out due to my severe social anxiety (plus, I've never "asked out" a girl before - my previous relationships were more situational). I'm scared that if she says no, I'll have some kind of meltdown and throw myself off a building or something.

Is what I'm going through normal, or is there something wrong with me? I'm an adult, by the way.
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,077
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/3/2015 6:08:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/3/2015 4:56:46 AM, SM2 wrote:
There's this girl that I like. I've never liked any girl this much before. Problem is, I keep thinking about her instead of doing things like eating, sleeping, and studying. I was going to ask her out yesterday, but I chickened out due to my severe social anxiety (plus, I've never "asked out" a girl before - my previous relationships were more situational). I'm scared that if she says no, I'll have some kind of meltdown and throw myself off a building or something.

Is what I'm going through normal, or is there something wrong with me? I'm an adult, by the way.

Romantic attraction in itself is just something that human beings go through. It becomes unhealthy whenever it becomes an obsession, and even then, considering what romantic attraction is there's some leeway as to how far this obsession can go before it becomes unhealthy. Really, only you know whether or not your attraction has gone so far as to be unhealthy.
Call me Vox, the Resident Contrarian of debate.org.

The DDO Blog:
https://debatedotorg.wordpress.com...

#drinkthecoffeenotthekoolaid
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,077
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/3/2015 6:40:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
However, if you genuinely believe that you would kill yourself if she turned you down then it's probably a bit too much.
Call me Vox, the Resident Contrarian of debate.org.

The DDO Blog:
https://debatedotorg.wordpress.com...

#drinkthecoffeenotthekoolaid
ShabShoral
Posts: 3,236
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/3/2015 6:56:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/3/2015 4:56:46 AM, SM2 wrote:
There's this girl that I like. I've never liked any girl this much before. Problem is, I keep thinking about her instead of doing things like eating, sleeping, and studying. I was going to ask her out yesterday, but I chickened out due to my severe social anxiety (plus, I've never "asked out" a girl before - my previous relationships were more situational). I'm scared that if she says no, I'll have some kind of meltdown and throw myself off a building or something.

Is what I'm going through normal, or is there something wrong with me? I'm an adult, by the way.

Doubting your own will to live because of someone you've never even so much as been on a date with is a bit concerning.
"This site is trash as a debate site. It's club penguin for dysfunctional adults."

~ Skepsikyma <3

"Your idea of good writing is like Spinoza mixed with Heidegger."

~ Dylly Dylly Cat Cat

"You seem to aspire to be a cross between a Jewish hipster, an old school WASP aristocrat, and a political iconoclast"

~ Thett the Mighty

"fvck omg ur face"

~ Liz
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,368
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/3/2015 7:56:54 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/3/2015 6:56:34 PM, ShabShoral wrote:
At 10/3/2015 4:56:46 AM, SM2 wrote:
There's this girl that I like. I've never liked any girl this much before. Problem is, I keep thinking about her instead of doing things like eating, sleeping, and studying. I was going to ask her out yesterday, but I chickened out due to my severe social anxiety (plus, I've never "asked out" a girl before - my previous relationships were more situational). I'm scared that if she says no, I'll have some kind of meltdown and throw myself off a building or something.

Is what I'm going through normal, or is there something wrong with me? I'm an adult, by the way.

Doubting your own will to live because of someone you've never even so much as been on a date with is a bit concerning.

^
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
SM2
Posts: 546
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/3/2015 11:00:50 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/3/2015 6:40:34 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
However, if you genuinely believe that you would kill yourself if she turned you down then it's probably a bit too much.

At 10/3/2015 6:56:34 PM, ShabShoral wrote:
Doubting your own will to live because of someone you've never even so much as been on a date with is a bit concerning.

At 10/3/2015 7:56:54 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/3/2015 6:56:34 PM, ShabShoral wrote:

Doubting your own will to live because of someone you've never even so much as been on a date with is a bit concerning.

^

I think my suicidal thoughts were a reaction to my chickening out, rather than my attraction. I've calmed down now.

To be honest, I don't think she's interested in me. She's always preoccupied with her phone (not a boyfriend), and makes no effort at conversation. I actually had my eye on a different girl before my sudden infatuation, and now I'm really confused.
Devilry
Posts: 465
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/4/2015 2:06:20 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Romantic attraction is healthy. It's one of the joys of life. What's not healthy, however, is investing everything in it to the point that if it fails, if you never get whatever girl, or whatever, that you'll kill yourself. Never be at rock bottom. Have family, have art, have music, have good food, have whatever. And you're right, ofc, in that.: the suicidal thoughts were as a result of your chickening out. But also because you're at rock bottom. Same thing as all those dudes out there killing themselves when they lose jobs or blow investments or even f*cking Hitler did it. When it all falls down, that's the only time anyone's going to consider killing themselves. Life is easy, only some people are really dumb about it.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
SM2
Posts: 546
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/4/2015 2:16:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/4/2015 2:06:20 AM, Devilry wrote:
Romantic attraction is healthy. It's one of the joys of life. What's not healthy, however, is investing everything in it to the point that if it fails, if you never get whatever girl, or whatever, that you'll kill yourself. Never be at rock bottom. Have family, have art, have music, have good food, have whatever. And you're right, ofc, in that.: the suicidal thoughts were as a result of your chickening out. But also because you're at rock bottom. Same thing as all those dudes out there killing themselves when they lose jobs or blow investments or even f*cking Hitler did it. When it all falls down, that's the only time anyone's going to consider killing themselves. Life is easy, only some people are really dumb about it.

Yeah, I've made nothing but dumb choices. If I had anything else in my life, I probably wouldn't be so anxious about this.
Devilry
Posts: 465
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/4/2015 2:18:33 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Just take it easy man. There's a big part of me living just for Rick and Morty episodes, and that sh*t is free on the internet.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
lannan13
Posts: 23,078
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/5/2015 12:36:59 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/3/2015 4:56:46 AM, SM2 wrote:
There's this girl that I like. I've never liked any girl this much before. Problem is, I keep thinking about her instead of doing things like eating, sleeping, and studying. I was going to ask her out yesterday, but I chickened out due to my severe social anxiety (plus, I've never "asked out" a girl before - my previous relationships were more situational). I'm scared that if she says no, I'll have some kind of meltdown and throw myself off a building or something.

Is what I'm going through normal, or is there something wrong with me? I'm an adult, by the way.

It's normal to due that. Especially with that naging fear of her maybe telling you no. I've already dated a few people, but I still get that fear. Like now there's a guy that I think is really cute, but I just don't know how to ask him out.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
SM2
Posts: 546
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/10/2015 11:04:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I asked her out. She said yes. Haven't gone out yet. Not sure if she likes me, since I left my intentions vague.

Not being with her still makes me suicidal.
Devilry
Posts: 465
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/11/2015 1:25:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Don't tell her that or she'll be afraid of murder-suicide. Also don't murder-suicide.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
famousdebater
Posts: 3,943
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
10/11/2015 1:26:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/11/2015 1:25:03 PM, Devilry wrote:
Don't tell her that or she'll be afraid of murder-suicide. Also don't murder-suicide.

Good advice.
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
John Galsworthy