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One Year on DDO: My Thoughts

1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/7/2015 10:17:20 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
So I've now been around here on DDO for an entire year - and the time has really went by quickly, and DDO has also made quite a difference in my life. I wouldn't have thought this is how my time here would look like after a year, but here we are - and the time here has been a relatively bumpy road. That said, I don't think I really avoid ups and downs in just about anything in my life, so it's nothing new: I can deal with it.

DDO was certainly been a great way for me to escape my day-to-day life. I say "was", here, because it's taken over my day-to-day life. It's where I look to for positivity - and I value my relationships here immensely. I visit the site during school, I visit it on bus rides, and I obviously visit it at home.

So how can I ever leave the site, feasibly?

I probably can't. Despite any disengagement and mixed emotions in regards to the site I've felt over the past few months, I'm too close to leave. Sometimes I think I should, but at this point: it's probably not the best idea.

I can literally say I am addicted to DDO. I am telling the truth when I say this: in the past 365 days, there has not been one where I did not log onto the site. Sometimes I didn't post anything publicly, but I still came online to PM people. And that, I think, shows how close I now am to the people here - I cannot go a day without talking to someone here.

Someone once said to me that taking part in Hangouts made everyone worse off. I think that may apply to some people, but I have no regrets in my participation in the Hangouts of DDO. Personally, I think it's been a positive for me. I've gotten to talk to people I otherwise wouldn't have, I've had more consistent interaction with people as a whole, and I think that's been good. There have definitely been bad times on there, but this is the nature of the site. If you want to have good experiences here, you must have bad experiences to go along with it.

But there are definitely other uses of the site. I obviously appreciate the type of discourse that takes place here - or else I never would've joined. I am an argumentative person - especially on political matters and increasingly in regards to philosophical matters.

This site really takes a toll, though, on my ability to relate to people my age. I hear 14 year olds (try to) formulate arguments and I almost implode in bottled frustration. Really: having most of your interpersonal contact with people about 5, 10, 15 (and so on) years older than you, on average, when you're 13-14 can really spoil you when it comes to the mental and intellectual maturity of people you talk to regularly. I've had people ask me what a "Neetz-chee" is when they've seen me write Nietzsche's name down.

So yeah, there's some real-life implications for the site. Another would be people who know me off the site seeing things I've said to others on the site from taking my phone or computer. That would be incredibly problematic. And again, it shows how close I am to people here. In fact, I'd say that I'm emotionally closer to a few people here than anyone else. Some people may think that's unhealthy, but I don't care. People are people - and if people understand me better here, then I'll be closer to people here.

I think I've really gotten better as a user of the site, and I think people like Max would agree on that point. I was very...unrefined...when I first used the site. I'm still blunt and somewhat fiery, but I'm definitely less fiery than when I came here a year ago. So I think I've improved in that regard. People might think I'm still an a$shole, but I'm not the a$shole I was a year ago.

A lot of memorable things have happened over this time. And I can't believe how long ago some of the things happened. It's been 11 months since I came out to someone for the first time, it's been 8 months since that glorious and flameless day I came out to DDO entirely. It's been 9 months since Mikal resigned from the Presidency. It's been about 10 and a half months since I reached 1,00 posts. It's been over 11 months since I signed up for my first beginner's mafia game. It's been almost 11 months (about) since I got into my first flame war...

I think it was a good choice to end my period of unknown inactivity and start using the site, looking back.

To round out these thoughts, I'm going to say a few things directed at specific people.

YYW: I don't know if you remember this, but you called me "dim" at our first interaction - less than a week after I had started using the site. I had made it a sort of goal of mine to show you it was just me being new - and not an idiot, so that's why I tried talking to you. Then you ranted about postmodernism, and everything else happened in those 11+ months. Really, I think I would've left had I never talked to you. Until about December 2014, you made up roughly 90% of my personal conversation. And in that time, you were probably the only one I could call a friend on the site.

Bsh1: You were the first person I told I was gay, and I know you remember that. But I don't know if you quite understand how important that was for us talking in the long-term. We talked sporadically, at first. The next time I had wanted to say something to you, you made a picture of Nikita Gutsu your profile picture. I used that to start a PM with you, and that's pretty much why I talk to you regularly.

Annie: You only ever talked to me because Brian told you too. If I never told Brian that I'm gay, then I would've never talked to you.

---

It's pretty weird, I think, that my three most talked to people on the site have only been talking to me for the past 10-11+ months because of what should've been rather little things. If I had been called "dim" today, I would make no direct effort to correct that opinion. If I had continued my streak of bottling things for maybe a couple more months, then I never would've talked to the other two people listed above. Without those three relationships, I would not be here. So blame them for my presence.

On that final note, I look forward to another year well spent on DDO.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
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10/7/2015 10:36:29 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
*hugs*
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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YYW
Posts: 36,242
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10/7/2015 11:55:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I have no memory of calling you "dim." lol

Certainly, you are not dim at all. You're one of the most intellectually gifted kids I've interacted with.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/8/2015 1:16:49 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/7/2015 11:55:26 PM, YYW wrote:
I have no memory of calling you "dim." lol

You did lol.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
bsh1
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10/8/2015 1:19:44 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 1:16:49 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:

Do I not get a hug back :(
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
YYW
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10/8/2015 1:19:49 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 1:16:49 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/7/2015 11:55:26 PM, YYW wrote:
I have no memory of calling you "dim." lol

You did lol.

Sorry...

*hugs*
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/8/2015 1:20:49 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 1:19:44 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/8/2015 1:16:49 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:

Do I not get a hug back :(

*hugs*
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/8/2015 1:21:10 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 1:19:49 AM, YYW wrote:
At 10/8/2015 1:16:49 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/7/2015 11:55:26 PM, YYW wrote:
I have no memory of calling you "dim." lol

You did lol.

Sorry...

Lol.

*hugs*

*hugs*
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
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10/8/2015 1:21:34 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 1:20:49 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/8/2015 1:19:44 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/8/2015 1:16:49 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:

Do I not get a hug back :(

*hugs*

Yay :)
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,065
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10/8/2015 3:14:43 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
It's true that you're less blunt than you used to be.
Call me Vox, the Resident Contrarian of debate.org.

The DDO Blog:
https://debatedotorg.wordpress.com...

#drinkthecoffeenotthekoolaid
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/8/2015 4:02:13 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 3:14:43 AM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
It's true that you're less blunt than you used to be.

Indeed.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/8/2015 4:37:39 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Those three people aren't the only ones that really deserve a sort of mention. In list fashion, I thank in no specific order of importance - for what I've taken from our interactions, no matter how limited it has been:

Rev, Max, Daltonian, Endark, Kitty, Thett, Cermank, Skepsikyma, Blah, That1User, Tejretics, Khaos, FT, Budda, Romanii, Vaarka, SolonKR, Hayd, and anyone I've interacted with in Google Hangouts.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
Sapphique
Posts: 4,110
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10/8/2015 8:27:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Congrats on the milestone!
DDO Beginners' Mafia Moderator -- PM me if you'd like to learn how to play mafia!

"We wondered what happiness would look like if we could give it a physical form...the shape of happiness might resemble glass...even though you don't usually notice it, it's still definitely there. You merely have to change your point of view slightly, and then that glass will sparkle when it reflects the light. I doubt that anything else could argue its own existence more eloquently." ~Lelouch
lannan13
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10/8/2015 8:48:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Congrats on the mile stone, stick around more and you'll end up like Danielle and be on here 7 years.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/9/2015 3:31:28 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 8:27:24 PM, Sapphique wrote:
Congrats on the milestone!

Thanks.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
Midnight1131
Posts: 1,643
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10/9/2015 11:56:15 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Congratulations!

And I think everyone can relate to the "addicted to DDO" part.
#GaryJohnson2016
#TaxationisTheft
#TheftisTaxation
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/11/2015 1:55:53 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/9/2015 11:56:15 PM, Midnight1131 wrote:
Congratulations!

And I think everyone can relate to the "addicted to DDO" part.

I think some people say it without realizing what it really is.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/12/2015 9:14:52 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I feel like no one saw this lol.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,354
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10/12/2015 9:19:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/12/2015 9:14:52 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
I feel like no one saw this lol.

I didn't until now. *off to respond*
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
ESocialBookworm
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10/12/2015 9:26:27 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/7/2015 10:17:20 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
So I've now been around here on DDO for an entire year - and the time has really went by quickly, and DDO has also made quite a difference in my life. I wouldn't have thought this is how my time here would look like after a year, but here we are - and the time here has been a relatively bumpy road. That said, I don't think I really avoid ups and downs in just about anything in my life, so it's nothing new: I can deal with it.

IT'S BEEN A YEAR???
HOLY CRAP... OMG... WOW... WHOA....
You're old hehehe :P
DDO was certainly been a great way for me to escape my day-to-day life. I say "was", here, because it's taken over my day-to-day life. It's where I look to for positivity - and I value my relationships here immensely. I visit the site during school, I visit it on bus rides, and I obviously visit it at home.

So how can I ever leave the site, feasibly?

I probably can't. Despite any disengagement and mixed emotions in regards to the site I've felt over the past few months, I'm too close to leave. Sometimes I think I should, but at this point: it's probably not the best idea.

*hugs*

I can literally say I am addicted to DDO.
Join the club hun :*
I am telling the truth when I say this: in the past 365 days, there has not been one where I did not log onto the site. Sometimes I didn't post anything publicly, but I still came online to PM people. And that, I think, shows how close I now am to the people here - I cannot go a day without talking to someone here.

Someone once said to me that taking part in Hangouts made everyone worse off.
*cough* yyw? *cough* brian? *cough*

I think that may apply to some people, but I have no regrets in my participation in the Hangouts of DDO. Personally, I think it's been a positive for me. I've gotten to talk to people I otherwise wouldn't have, I've had more consistent interaction with people as a whole, and I think that's been good. There have definitely been bad times on there, but this is the nature of the site. If you want to have good experiences here, you must have bad experiences to go along with it.

I prefer rabbits because that's where I first saw you. :-)

But there are definitely other uses of the site. I obviously appreciate the type of discourse that takes place here - or else I never would've joined. I am an argumentative person - especially on political matters and increasingly in regards to philosophical matters.

This site really takes a toll, though, on my ability to relate to people my age. I hear 14 year olds (try to) formulate arguments and I almost implode in bottled frustration. Really: having most of your interpersonal contact with people about 5, 10, 15 (and so on) years older than you, on average, when you're 13-14 can really spoil you when it comes to the mental and intellectual maturity of people you talk to regularly. I've had people ask me what a "Neetz-chee" is when they've seen me write Nietzsche's name down.

Nerd :P

So yeah, there's some real-life implications for the site. Another would be people who know me off the site seeing things I've said to others on the site from taking my phone or computer. That would be incredibly problematic. And again, it shows how close I am to people here. In fact, I'd say that I'm emotionally closer to a few people here than anyone else. Some people may think that's unhealthy, but I don't care. People are people - and if people understand me better here, then I'll be closer to people here.
Sig'd

I think I've really gotten better as a user of the site, and I think people like Max would agree on that point. I was very...unrefined...when I first used the site. I'm still blunt and somewhat fiery, but I'm definitely less fiery than when I came here a year ago. So I think I've improved in that regard. People might think I'm still an a$shole, but I'm not the a$shole I was a year ago.

A lot of memorable things have happened over this time. And I can't believe how long ago some of the things happened. It's been 11 months since I came out to someone for the first time, it's been 8 months since that glorious and flameless day I came out to DDO entirely. It's been 9 months since Mikal resigned from the Presidency. It's been about 10 and a half months since I reached 1,00 posts. It's been over 11 months since I signed up for my first beginner's mafia game. It's been almost 11 months (about) since I got into my first flame war...

whoa

I think it was a good choice to end my period of unknown inactivity and start using the site, looking back.

To round out these thoughts, I'm going to say a few things directed at specific people.

YYW: I don't know if you remember this, but you called me "dim" at our first interaction - less than a week after I had started using the site. I had made it a sort of goal of mine to show you it was just me being new - and not an idiot, so that's why I tried talking to you. Then you ranted about postmodernism, and everything else happened in those 11+ months. Really, I think I would've left had I never talked to you. Until about December 2014, you made up roughly 90% of my personal conversation. And in that time, you were probably the only one I could call a friend on the site.

WHERE IS HE? *GRABS SPRAY-GLUE AND SHINING DUST*
Bsh1: You were the first person I told I was gay, and I know you remember that. But I don't know if you quite understand how important that was for us talking in the long-term. We talked sporadically, at first. The next time I had wanted to say something to you, you made a picture of Nikita Gutsu your profile picture. I used that to start a PM with you, and that's pretty much why I talk to you regularly.
Brian would. XD

Annie: You only ever talked to me because Brian told you too. If I never told Brian that I'm gay, then I would've never talked to you.

Actually, we spoke for the first real time in the PM where we were planning the debate on whether or not gay people could jerk off to straight porn, or something like that, and you told me and Otter (I think) that you were gay, along with Brian, who already knew.

But yes, if Brian hadn't contacted me that day to message you, I don't- I CAN'T- even fathom my life... You're such an integral part of my life now. :-)
There are many people on DDO that I wouldn't mind never talking to ever again, but you- you're like the stank on Shrek's feet- you're never going away :P
---

It's pretty weird, I think, that my three most talked to people on the site have only been talking to me for the past 10-11+ months because of what should've been rather little things. If I had been called "dim" today, I would make no direct effort to correct that opinion. If I had continued my streak of bottling things for maybe a couple more months, then I never would've talked to the other two people listed above. Without those three relationships, I would not be here. So blame them for my presence.

BLAME MEH BISHES
FITE MEH

On that final note, I look forward to another year well spent on DDO.

<3
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/12/2015 9:39:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/12/2015 9:26:27 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/7/2015 10:17:20 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Sig'd

It is cut off.

<3

<3
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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10/12/2015 9:53:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 4:37:39 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Those three people aren't the only ones that really deserve a sort of mention. In list fashion, I thank in no specific order of importance - for what I've taken from our interactions, no matter how limited it has been:

Rev, Max, Daltonian, Endark, Kitty, Thett, Cermank, Skepsikyma, Blah, That1User, Tejretics, Khaos, FT, Budda, Romanii, Vaarka, SolonKR, Hayd, and anyone I've interacted with in Google Hangouts.

Here's to another year. Don't go anywhere. :-)
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/12/2015 10:28:08 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/12/2015 9:53:34 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 10/8/2015 4:37:39 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Those three people aren't the only ones that really deserve a sort of mention. In list fashion, I thank in no specific order of importance - for what I've taken from our interactions, no matter how limited it has been:

Rev, Max, Daltonian, Endark, Kitty, Thett, Cermank, Skepsikyma, Blah, That1User, Tejretics, Khaos, FT, Budda, Romanii, Vaarka, SolonKR, Hayd, and anyone I've interacted with in Google Hangouts.

Here's to another year. Don't go anywhere. :-)

Thanks. :)
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
BLAHthedebator
Posts: 982
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10/13/2015 1:03:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/7/2015 10:17:20 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas...
Is...
Youuuuuu
SamStevens
Posts: 3,819
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10/14/2015 8:23:30 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 4:37:39 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Those three people aren't the only ones that really deserve a sort of mention. In list fashion, I thank in no specific order of importance - for what I've taken from our interactions, no matter how limited it has been:

Rev, Max, Daltonian, Endark, Kitty, Thett, Cermank, Skepsikyma, Blah, That1User, Tejretics, Khaos, FT, Budda, Romanii, Vaarka, SolonKR, Hayd, and anyone I've interacted with in Google Hangouts.
So I'm a "anyone" now? I see how it is...http://giphy.com...
"This is the true horror of religion. It allows perfectly decent and sane people to believe by the billions, what only lunatics could believe on their own." Sam Harris
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death responded: "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth."
tejretics
Posts: 6,080
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10/18/2015 11:52:24 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/8/2015 4:37:39 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Those three people aren't the only ones that really deserve a sort of mention. In list fashion, I thank in no specific order of importance - for what I've taken from our interactions, no matter how limited it has been:

Rev, Max, Daltonian, Endark, Kitty, Thett, Cermank, Skepsikyma, Blah, That1User, Tejretics, Khaos, FT, Budda, Romanii, Vaarka, SolonKR, Hayd, and anyone I've interacted with in Google Hangouts.

lol we should actually start a productive conversation via PM

*hugs*
"Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe." - Frederick Douglass
tejretics
Posts: 6,080
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10/18/2015 11:59:16 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/7/2015 10:17:20 PM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
So I've now been around here on DDO for an entire year - and the time has really went by quickly, and DDO has also made quite a difference in my life. I wouldn't have thought this is how my time here would look like after a year, but here we are - and the time here has been a relatively bumpy road. That said, I don't think I really avoid ups and downs in just about anything in my life, so it's nothing new: I can deal with it.

So you had only been there for 4 months when I joined?


DDO was certainly been a great way for me to escape my day-to-day life. I say "was", here, because it's taken over my day-to-day life. It's where I look to for positivity - and I value my relationships here immensely. I visit the site during school, I visit it on bus rides, and I obviously visit it at home.

So how can I ever leave the site, feasibly?

Why would you ever want to? #DDOAddiction


I probably can't. Despite any disengagement and mixed emotions in regards to the site I've felt over the past few months, I'm too close to leave. Sometimes I think I should, but at this point: it's probably not the best idea.

I can literally say I am addicted to DDO. I am telling the truth when I say this: in the past 365 days, there has not been one where I did not log onto the site. Sometimes I didn't post anything publicly, but I still came online to PM people. And that, I think, shows how close I now am to the people here - I cannot go a day without talking to someone here.

Ikr, I've *never* not logged on to DDO since I joined a day. Often I won't interact with anyone or prepare any argument, or even use PMs, but I at least check my notifications daily. Regardless of where I am. It's been like that in many cities in India :P


Someone once said to me that taking part in Hangouts made everyone worse off. I think that may apply to some people, but I have no regrets in my participation in the Hangouts of DDO. Personally, I think it's been a positive for me. I've gotten to talk to people I otherwise wouldn't have, I've had more consistent interaction with people as a whole, and I think that's been good. There have definitely been bad times on there, but this is the nature of the site. If you want to have good experiences here, you must have bad experiences to go along with it.

But there are definitely other uses of the site. I obviously appreciate the type of discourse that takes place here - or else I never would've joined. I am an argumentative person - especially on political matters and increasingly in regards to philosophical matters.

This site really takes a toll, though, on my ability to relate to people my age. I hear 14 year olds (try to) formulate arguments and I almost implode in bottled frustration. Really: having most of your interpersonal contact with people about 5, 10, 15 (and so on) years older than you, on average, when you're 13-14 can really spoil you when it comes to the mental and intellectual maturity of people you talk to regularly. I've had people ask me what a "Neetz-chee" is when they've seen me write Nietzsche's name down.

lol...


So yeah, there's some real-life implications for the site. Another would be people who know me off the site seeing things I've said to others on the site from taking my phone or computer. That would be incredibly problematic. And again, it shows how close I am to people here. In fact, I'd say that I'm emotionally closer to a few people here than anyone else. Some people may think that's unhealthy, but I don't care. People are people - and if people understand me better here, then I'll be closer to people here.

I think I've really gotten better as a user of the site, and I think people like Max would agree on that point. I was very...unrefined...when I first used the site. I'm still blunt and somewhat fiery, but I'm definitely less fiery than when I came here a year ago. So I think I've improved in that regard. People might think I'm still an a$shole, but I'm not the a$shole I was a year ago.

A lot of memorable things have happened over this time. And I can't believe how long ago some of the things happened. It's been 11 months since I came out to someone for the first time, it's been 8 months since that glorious and flameless day I came out to DDO entirely. It's been 9 months since Mikal resigned from the Presidency. It's been about 10 and a half months since I reached 1,00 posts. It's been over 11 months since I signed up for my first beginner's mafia game. It's been almost 11 months (about) since I got into my first flame war...

I think it was a good choice to end my period of unknown inactivity and start using the site, looking back.

To round out these thoughts, I'm going to say a few things directed at specific people.

YYW: I don't know if you remember this, but you called me "dim" at our first interaction - less than a week after I had started using the site. I had made it a sort of goal of mine to show you it was just me being new - and not an idiot, so that's why I tried talking to you. Then you ranted about postmodernism, and everything else happened in those 11+ months. Really, I think I would've left had I never talked to you. Until about December 2014, you made up roughly 90% of my personal conversation. And in that time, you were probably the only one I could call a friend on the site.

Bsh1: You were the first person I told I was gay, and I know you remember that. But I don't know if you quite understand how important that was for us talking in the long-term. We talked sporadically, at first. The next time I had wanted to say something to you, you made a picture of Nikita Gutsu your profile picture. I used that to start a PM with you, and that's pretty much why I talk to you regularly.

Annie: You only ever talked to me because Brian told you too. If I never told Brian that I'm gay, then I would've never talked to you.

---

It's pretty weird, I think, that my three most talked to people on the site have only been talking to me for the past 10-11+ months because of what should've been rather little things. If I had been called "dim" today, I would make no direct effort to correct that opinion. If I had continued my streak of bottling things for maybe a couple more months, then I never would've talked to the other two people listed above. Without those three relationships, I would not be here. So blame them for my presence.

On that final note, I look forward to another year well spent on DDO.

Reading this post gives me nostalgia...it feels like I joined DDO a week ago, I remember the day *so* clearly...I joined on January 25th, 2015, it was a holiday (a Sunday). Jan 26th is a federal holiday here, so it was a three-day weekend. On Tuesday, I had my debate auditions. So I joined DDO. I'd known of DDO's existence for a few months then, and had anonymously posted a few opinions at 12. I forgot about it's existence till I Googled "debate," and then joined the site.
"Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe." - Frederick Douglass