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Battling Depression - A confession

Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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10/23/2015 7:13:09 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Earlier this year I left ddo for quite a bit. I skipped out on all my debates, and became generally withdrawn from society. Far from attending google hangouts I could not go to school as day by day my anxiety and depression progressed. It got so bad that getting out of bed became very difficult for me.

My mood disorder which is dysthemia causing major depressive disorder is also due to my neuropathic pain (or some neurologists believe). Not only is the stress of constant pain on my mind, but the firing of neurons at odd speeds causes certain lobes to light up which cause fear or hurt.

I've been taking anti-depressants to help me cope. I take Escitalopram, but recently, perhaps out of anger or something I stopped. I don't want to rely on medicines which make me hazy.

The pain has come back, as has the fear and the hurt. Its hard to deal with it, but I am determined to do so. There are few people who know this, but I tihink it may be healthy to tell people and so I'm mentioning it here.

I have suffered from excruciating neuropathic pain since I was 12, unable to walk properly or do any sports. Since its generalized it has different versions. So sometimes I have symptoms like fibromyalgia while at other points I feel strong electric shocks throughout my body. Like strong. Really strong. They wake me up, my muscles act by themselves sometimes.

Not to throw a pity party. Its just that since Ive stopped having the meds I'm in pain, and hurting emotionally. Its not just fatigue from neuropathy but there is a lack of motivation as well as insomnia, and just generally feeling bad for no reason.

The neuropathy also means I feel other emotions out of place. I may have a desire to laugh for no reason, or feel ticklish for no reason.

Its hard, but Im coping. Just thought Id share. Dont know hy.
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,315
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10/23/2015 7:18:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/23/2015 7:13:09 PM, Ajabi wrote:
Earlier this year I left ddo for quite a bit. I skipped out on all my debates, and became generally withdrawn from society. Far from attending google hangouts I could not go to school as day by day my anxiety and depression progressed. It got so bad that getting out of bed became very difficult for me.

My mood disorder which is dysthemia causing major depressive disorder is also due to my neuropathic pain (or some neurologists believe). Not only is the stress of constant pain on my mind, but the firing of neurons at odd speeds causes certain lobes to light up which cause fear or hurt.

I've been taking anti-depressants to help me cope. I take Escitalopram, but recently, perhaps out of anger or something I stopped. I don't want to rely on medicines which make me hazy.

The pain has come back, as has the fear and the hurt. Its hard to deal with it, but I am determined to do so. There are few people who know this, but I tihink it may be healthy to tell people and so I'm mentioning it here.

I have suffered from excruciating neuropathic pain since I was 12, unable to walk properly or do any sports. Since its generalized it has different versions. So sometimes I have symptoms like fibromyalgia while at other points I feel strong electric shocks throughout my body. Like strong. Really strong. They wake me up, my muscles act by themselves sometimes.

Not to throw a pity party. Its just that since Ive stopped having the meds I'm in pain, and hurting emotionally. Its not just fatigue from neuropathy but there is a lack of motivation as well as insomnia, and just generally feeling bad for no reason.

The neuropathy also means I feel other emotions out of place. I may have a desire to laugh for no reason, or feel ticklish for no reason.

Its hard, but Im coping. Just thought Id share. Dont know hy.

I don't know you well, if at all, but I know that there's people here who do, and who really do care about your wellbeing. That's not to say I don't, because I do, and I'm sorry about the problems you're facing. I hope things get better, and stay encouraged! :)
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Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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10/23/2015 7:21:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Sorry to hear. Don't give up and I'm confident you'll go through this.

Have you talked to a psychologist? If not, I strongly recommend it. :)
bsh1
Posts: 27,504
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10/23/2015 11:17:10 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/23/2015 7:21:36 PM, Mirza wrote:
Sorry to hear. Don't give up and I'm confident you'll go through this.

Have you talked to a psychologist? If not, I strongly recommend it. :)

This.
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SolonKR
Posts: 4,041
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10/24/2015 1:27:14 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/23/2015 11:17:10 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/23/2015 7:21:36 PM, Mirza wrote:
Sorry to hear. Don't give up and I'm confident you'll go through this.

Have you talked to a psychologist? If not, I strongly recommend it. :)

This.

This x2. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I'm here for you. You can teach me more Arabic any time, if you know what I'm saying ;)
SO to Bailey, the love of my life <3
Ajabi
Posts: 1,504
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10/24/2015 6:29:31 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/23/2015 11:17:10 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/23/2015 7:21:36 PM, Mirza wrote:
Sorry to hear. Don't give up and I'm confident you'll go through this.

Have you talked to a psychologist? If not, I strongly recommend it. :)

This.

I have but again, since its not due to psychological issues, but more due to the neuropathy and the physical condition where my brain fires neurons, they can't do anything. This was told to me after abunch of tests in Pakistan and England.
ironslippers
Posts: 513
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10/24/2015 6:32:44 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Sorry, Keep trying and don't Isolate...
I repeat Don't Isolate!
Everyone stands on their own dung hill and speaks out about someone else's - Nathan Krusemark
Its easier to criticize and hate than it is to support and create - I Ron Slippers