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Dirty Jokes

YYW
Posts: 36,296
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11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."
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Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,074
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11/16/2015 2:59:54 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
As far as dirty jokes go this doesn't really qualify as one.
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3jameo3
Posts: 6
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11/16/2015 3:15:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."

Spanking him would only not do anything if he was into receiving punishments but your joke doesn't say which the son is into which is the key point to a joke like this. It does hint towards it yet doesn't confirm either way through a dialog which in my opinion would have made it a lot more funny especially if the father was wrong about his son's sexual preference towards the BDSM world.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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11/16/2015 3:57:50 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/16/2015 3:15:32 PM, 3jameo3 wrote:
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."

Spanking him would only not do anything if he was into receiving punishments but your joke doesn't say which the son is into which is the key point to a joke like this. It does hint towards it yet doesn't confirm either way through a dialog which in my opinion would have made it a lot more funny especially if the father was wrong about his son's sexual preference towards the BDSM world.

I honesty disagree. It is hinting but it's a pretty obvious hint.
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,367
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11/16/2015 7:59:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."

Lol. Two nuns were attacked and were being raped by two assailants when heading back to wherever nurses go. One prayed, crying, "Dear God! Please forgive him! He doesn't know what he's doing!" The other nun replied, "Mine does."
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,035
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11/16/2015 8:19:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
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Geogeer
Posts: 4,274
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11/16/2015 8:40:06 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
A Catholic man went to confession. "Father, my wife and me were giving up sex for lent. However, after about 30 days through lent I saw my wife bending over into the freezer to get something out. It had been so long that I couldn't take it any more and we just went at it right there over and over again. Are we going to be banned from Church?"

The priest replied, "My son, you have nothing to fear. While your efforts to abstain from relations with your wife were well intentioned, there was no sin comitted by either you. You are always welcome here in God's house."

The man sighed with relief, "Oh thank-you Father! I was worried because after the spectacle we made, they won't let us into the Safeway anymore."
SamStevens
Posts: 3,819
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11/16/2015 9:44:31 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Joke:

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age." There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47." Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Further reading:
http://unijokes.com...
"This is the true horror of religion. It allows perfectly decent and sane people to believe by the billions, what only lunatics could believe on their own." Sam Harris
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death responded: "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth."
YYW
Posts: 36,296
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11/16/2015 11:20:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/16/2015 3:15:32 PM, 3jameo3 wrote:
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."

Spanking him would only not do anything if he was into receiving punishments but your joke doesn't say which the son is into which is the key point to a joke like this. It does hint towards it yet doesn't confirm either way through a dialog which in my opinion would have made it a lot more funny especially if the father was wrong about his son's sexual preference towards the BDSM world.

I disagree, and the fact that you're thinking that hard about the joke generally suggests (1) that you lack the requisite sense of humor to appreciate any similar joke; and (2) that you're clearly into bdsm and identified with the son, which is why you didn't find it amusing, or, in the alternative, you're just dumb.
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ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,367
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11/16/2015 11:23:25 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/16/2015 8:19:58 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
I remember this one haha
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
lannan13
Posts: 23,075
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11/18/2015 3:21:09 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."
What's BDSM
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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YYW
Posts: 36,296
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11/18/2015 3:23:00 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/18/2015 3:21:09 AM, lannan13 wrote:
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."
What's BDSM

Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism
Tsar of DDO
lannan13
Posts: 23,075
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11/18/2015 3:26:10 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/18/2015 3:23:00 AM, YYW wrote:
At 11/18/2015 3:21:09 AM, lannan13 wrote:
At 11/15/2015 11:42:51 PM, YYW wrote:
It's time to simile... and what better way than to indulge my dark sense of humor.

Here's a joke that made the front page of Reddit today:

Being a bit nosy, they search around the room to see if their son is hiding anything "naughty." The father checks under the bed and, in shock, sees tons of BDSM and bondage tapes, DVDs, and magazines. The mother couldn't breathe. It took her a while to say "Oh my god! What should we do about this?! The father replied "We shouldn't spank him, that's for sure."
What's BDSM

Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism

Cool.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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lannan13
Posts: 23,075
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11/18/2015 3:26:43 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/17/2015 1:18:18 PM, JernHenrik wrote:
A Turkish gangbang?

what is it?

It's what your family does for Thanksgiving.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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