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Worst Date You've Ever Been On

RyuuKyuzo
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1/19/2016 3:33:43 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
ITT, times you screwed up a date (or times your date screwed up the date)

I went out with this Taiwanese girl once, and some time into the date I asked her where she was from (I micro-aggress like a mf, deal with it). She responded "I'm from Taiwan," and I said to her "oh, you mean Chinese Taipei?"

There was no second date.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Wylted
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1/19/2016 4:20:28 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Yeah I had a similar situation when I bragged abot America nuking Hong Kong and beating the hell out of China during WW2
YYW
Posts: 36,252
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1/19/2016 4:26:26 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 3:33:43 AM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
ITT, times you screwed up a date (or times your date screwed up the date)

I went out with this Taiwanese girl once, and some time into the date I asked her where she was from (I micro-aggress like a mf, deal with it). She responded "I'm from Taiwan," and I said to her "oh, you mean Chinese Taipei?"

There was no second date.

Oh the stories I could tell...

Here's the first one that comes to mind:

Met a guy on Grindr, and we kind of hung out and decided to get Japanese food. Went to this japanese steak house (which was meh) and he was friendly or maybe not... idk. I got massively drunk because he was boring me to tears.

He kept talking about himself... I got more and more drunk. He was not interesting, and he had a strangely shaped nose, which I kept staring at the entire night.

So I, trying to be polite, continued to try to not stare at his nose... it was hard to do. But we finished the meal, split the check and w/e.

Then he drove us to the movie theater, where we saw something that was horrible. His choice. I don't remember the title of the movie, but it was something that only some low-grade moron would have been interested in.

He put his hand on my leg. Remember I was massively drunk. I didn't respond.

He tried to make a move. I laughed at him he was so awkward, but pretended I was laughing at the movie.

I was still massively drunk (like, I don't know how I made it into the theater).

We went our separate ways... never texted him again.

I don't want to get into the specifics of what he did that alerted me to the fact that he was a no-go, but there were like dozens of red flags. From his interests, to everything else. We were just totally not workable.

As a rule, the more I drink on a date, the lower the probability I'm going to call someone back.
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YYW
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1/19/2016 4:35:48 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
College, sophomore or junior year (who remembers?):

(Bad for him... at first; good for me, happy ending)

Closeted frat guy (woof!) wanted to meet up and hang out in his dorm, which we did, except his dorm was disgusting. So we went to my place. I put on a movie, and we ordered pizza. He wanted to drink, which... w/e. 18 year old guy wants beer? I didn't serve it to him. He helped himself.

So he's nervous as hell... and this is adorable. I tease him a bit, as time goes on. The movie gets better. I unbutton his jeans... and discover that he came inside them already. Like, I didn't even touch his dick... and he'd came in his pants. He was tragically embarrassed. This turned me on.

He is apologizing. I tell him to shut up and I take his clothes off. He tries to unbutton my pants, and doesn't do a very good job. I am enjoying every minute of this. He struggles with my belt (it was clear he'd never taken off another guy's belt before), I help him out a bit.

Then, he's going down on me... and he is horrible at it.

(Note: I'm really slow to cum. There's a lot of reasons for that that don't matter... but I'm really slow to cum.)

He tries and tries... and eventually I just kind of pick him up and we go back to my bedroom. (As an aside, I miss my loft. I had a fantastic loft. Now I do not. I have a tiny apartment now... and a tiny apartment that is not a loft. *sad face* (although I like my apartment now).)

*one thing led to another*

We hook up, and he was just fantastic. He really enjoyed himself too. It began and was awkward as hell... and when it ended, I had a broke frat boy who was easing his way into becoming a power bottom. It was glorious.

We hooked up a few more times too before he got a boyfriend. He was one of the better guys I hooked up with in college.

5'9-5'10 or so, slim, white, cute little glory trail, tight @ss, brown hair and eyes, and just adorable in every way. Awkward as hell, but I loved it. I hope he's doing well now.
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spacetime
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1/19/2016 4:44:33 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 4:38:39 AM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
Well, this thread just become a hard R
Call me King Pootie Tang.
1harderthanyouthink
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1/19/2016 5:03:03 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 4:38:39 AM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
Well, this thread just become a hard R

http://s2.quickmeme.com...
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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YYW
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1/19/2016 5:39:29 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 4:38:39 AM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
Well, this thread just become a hard R

lol shall I go on?

I've got dozens of these...
Tsar of DDO
Mikal
Posts: 11,270
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1/19/2016 5:40:38 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Tldr version

I had sex with with a girl (my first red head) on top of the hood of my car. Girl was a freak. We went at it for like an hour with various forms of foreplay and doing the actual act. She finished like twice and was pretty damn good. On the way home she got a call from her bf (whom i didnt know that she had) come to find out she was a catholic and engaged to a guy. She tried to witness to me like 3 days later then i blocked her
YYW
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1/19/2016 5:40:54 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Because I could go on... I make a rule of never kissing and telling IRL... but on ddo? Idga SINGLE f.
Tsar of DDO
Mikal
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1/19/2016 5:43:40 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 4:35:48 AM, YYW wrote:
College, sophomore or junior year (who remembers?):

(Bad for him... at first; good for me, happy ending)

Closeted frat guy (woof!) wanted to meet up and hang out in his dorm, which we did, except his dorm was disgusting. So we went to my place. I put on a movie, and we ordered pizza. He wanted to drink, which... w/e. 18 year old guy wants beer? I didn't serve it to him. He helped himself.

So he's nervous as hell... and this is adorable. I tease him a bit, as time goes on. The movie gets better. I unbutton his jeans... and discover that he came inside them already. Like, I didn't even touch his dick... and he'd came in his pants. He was tragically embarrassed. This turned me on.

He is apologizing. I tell him to shut up and I take his clothes off. He tries to unbutton my pants, and doesn't do a very good job. I am enjoying every minute of this. He struggles with my belt (it was clear he'd never taken off another guy's belt before), I help him out a bit.

Then, he's going down on me... and he is horrible at it.

(Note: I'm really slow to cum. There's a lot of reasons for that that don't matter... but I'm really slow to cum.)

He tries and tries... and eventually I just kind of pick him up and we go back to my bedroom. (As an aside, I miss my loft. I had a fantastic loft. Now I do not. I have a tiny apartment now... and a tiny apartment that is not a loft. *sad face* (although I like my apartment now).)

*one thing led to another*

We hook up, and he was just fantastic. He really enjoyed himself too. It began and was awkward as hell... and when it ended, I had a broke frat boy who was easing his way into becoming a power bottom. It was glorious.

We hooked up a few more times too before he got a boyfriend. He was one of the better guys I hooked up with in college.

5'9-5'10 or so, slim, white, cute little glory trail, tight @ss, brown hair and eyes, and just adorable in every way. Awkward as hell, but I loved it. I hope he's doing well now.

This is awesome
YYW
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1/19/2016 5:58:18 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Ok, this is the most awkward one... not really a date... more like a hookup.

There are two guys who I've had experiences like this with... so they sound similar, but they're different. The theme is "guy shaves beard because I don't like his beard." Both were awkward, but this is the most awkward of the two:

I'm sitting in Jimmy Johns browsing grindr eating a turkey sandwich. It's a great sandwich, and not what I usually get because this one had both bacon and avocado on it. Delicious. I love Jimmy Johns.

Opened Grindr, and guy I messaged last night replies. This peaks my interest. He's got a non-revealing pic (predictably closeted undergrad... just my type... lol... notice the pattern?) but the pic was deceiving. As you may have guessed, he had a beard. I don't do beards, or body hair at all on anyone.

We chat, and he is very nervous. Like, wildly nervous. And he's confused/alone/needing a friend and it's just pulling on all the heartstrings. I felt for this guy because I get where he's coming from. He's (to the extent that his profile pic revealed his lower body) very cute.

But he's got a beard.

I send him a face pic, and he's very interested. He sends me a pic that was taken in my apartment building, in the bathroom which is designed like almost all the other bathrooms.

We learn that he lives in my building.

At first, this freaks him out. I am highly intrigued. Longterm fvck buddy? Maybe. I still don't know he has a beard. He's 20, btw.

I am so intrigued, that I asked him all kinds of "personal questions." We learned that he enjoyed cross dressing, and wanted to be "fvcked like the filthy little whore that he is."

Who am I to judge? I tell him to come on down (he lived a floor over me). Eventually, he sends me a face pic... and he's got a beard.

Not just like a little facial hair... but a full on fvcking beard. Like, a thick one. I am highly disappointed. I can handle the fetish (he also wanted to be spanked, and some other things that are too risque to describe, but which I was totally into), but the beard was too much. I told him so.

Five minutes later, he sends me another pic.

"Better?" he asks. He literally did "puppy dog eyes" with the pic.

I felt horrible, which is uncommon for me. He shaved for me. And he shaved *everything* from the eyebrows down (other than his lower arms and legs). And he was really begging. So I said ok.

He literally came down wearing a slut-skirt, thong, stockings, and some other kind of women's undergarmet that goes on the chest (idk wtf it's called). It was kind of offputting, but also kind of cute. This was the first time I'd hooked up with a guy who I actually allowed to do this.

He also lied about his height. He's two inches taller than I am (like, he's at least 6'3). I however, don't know this until he's standing outside my door.

Now, he was so incredibly awkward when he got there. I opened the door, kind of sized him up, and I could see his thong kind kind of showing where the track suit came up.I grabbed him in before my neighbor saw.

He starts undressing.... like he's a prostitute or something.

He wants permission to lay on my bed. I say 'w/e.'

He starts to blow me... big mistake... I never cum that way... but what was interesting is that he didn't want to cum at all. He just wanted to be fvcked. I'm ok with that.

So I did, but I think that was the first time he'd ever been... well... you know... fvcked before.

He made a mess on my comforter...

We did some other stuff. It was fun...

But, what's weird is that even though he moved out, I still hear from him. (and how I hear from him is nothing less than lascivious... which is great.)

I was "his type" and he misses that, because I think most guys like me don't pay attention to him.

He was maybe like a 6.5 or so, but he was good enough in bed that I'd do it again. Might be more aggressive next time...
Tsar of DDO
Cobalt
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1/19/2016 5:59:10 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 5:40:54 AM, YYW wrote:
Because I could go on... I make a rule of never kissing and telling IRL... but on ddo? Idga SINGLE f.

Oh, so you're on Grindr too?

http://media.collegetimes.com...
YYW
Posts: 36,252
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1/19/2016 6:01:33 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:00:14 AM, Cobalt wrote:
Too bad this thread isn't "Gay Sex Story Horrors", because I would win.

You're gay? Very good.

Welcome to the dark side.
Tsar of DDO
Cobalt
Posts: 991
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1/19/2016 6:15:34 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:01:33 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:00:14 AM, Cobalt wrote:
Too bad this thread isn't "Gay Sex Story Horrors", because I would win.

You're gay? Very good.

Welcome to the dark side.

Welcome?

I've been here to whole time.

Speaking of awkward meetings (and I really hope this isn't against the ToS or something. If it is, someone tell me.)

So I meet this nice guy on grindr. 4 years, older, but not too much of a gap. We go on a date, eat at a hole-in-the-wall place, then go antique shopping. It was very nice; surprisingly romantic. So we start dating.

A month in, I get two things revealed to me in one day. a) He wanted to have sex (we were waiting) and b) he is totally addicted to child pornography.

Naturally, I'm taken aback. I didn't have experience with CP and, of course, I thought it was the weirdest, stupidest, nastiest stuff ever. But I had gone a month (b/c waiting) and I was just too thirsty. So we went to the bedroom, got kinky, and.... I learned that he had never heard of an enema. He didn't tell me this, but when the entire semi-solid contents of his bowels erupted upon my midsection, I knew instantly.

Normal people would have said, "NOPE". And that would have been the end. But I'm in a small town, I'm a guy and the options are slim. Plus, the guy's cute. So I say, let's just chill -- no sex. So we do. And in the night...he pisses. Not just a spot; he fvcking drenches the bed in his man-piss.

I'm not happy. But my dad always told me "the third times a charm", so I give him one more chance. I go over to his apartment a few weeks later and he's high, drunk and horny as all get out. The mini-me in my pants is saying, "Get it babe", so I do.

It was not semi-solid this time. It was full on "he must have dysentery" action. You never realize how much mass a human colon can contain until you have a near-full grown man empty his onto your groin. I saw it, vomited, noticed the vomit mix in, vomited again, made him let me use the shower alone (while he's covered in his own sht,) and I left.

Worst date ever.
Rosalie
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1/19/2016 6:44:20 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
This happens like last year. I was with a friend, and she said "hey, I got this guy friend you might be into" so she game him my number, and he and I texted for a few weeks, and decided to meet...

We went on a double date. We wanted to go see a movie, and being the nice girl I am, I pages for his ticket. The movie was utterly stupid, and it was getting boring. He moved his hand over mine, which was fine, and kissed my neck. It wasn't until like 30mi items later, he began to move his hand from mine, and trying to slide it under my shorts, like in the front. That completely turned me off....never went on a second date again.
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UtherPenguin
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1/19/2016 6:49:51 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 3:33:43 AM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
and I said to her "oh, you mean Chinese Taipei?"

Now you were just asking for trouble right there.
"Praise Allah."
~YYW
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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1/19/2016 6:54:14 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:44:20 AM, Rosalie wrote:
This happens like last year. I was with a friend, and she said "hey, I got this guy friend you might be into" so she game him my number, and he and I texted for a few weeks, and decided to meet...

We went on a double date. We wanted to go see a movie, and being the nice girl I am, I pages for his ticket. The movie was utterly stupid, and it was getting boring. He moved his hand over mine, which was fine, and kissed my neck. It wasn't until like 30mi items later, he began to move his hand from mine, and trying to slide it under my shorts, like in the front. That completely turned me off....never went on a second date again.

Wow, the balls on that guy. I don't even kiss until the 3rd date.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
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1/19/2016 7:04:48 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:15:34 AM, Cobalt wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:01:33 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:00:14 AM, Cobalt wrote:
Too bad this thread isn't "Gay Sex Story Horrors", because I would win.

You're gay? Very good.

Welcome to the dark side.

Welcome?

I've been here to whole time.

I didn't know that you were gay either.

Worst date ever.

That was...revolting...
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


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YYW
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1/19/2016 2:00:04 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:15:34 AM, Cobalt wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:01:33 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:00:14 AM, Cobalt wrote:
Too bad this thread isn't "Gay Sex Story Horrors", because I would win.

You're gay? Very good.

Welcome to the dark side.

Welcome?

I've been here to whole time.

Speaking of awkward meetings (and I really hope this isn't against the ToS or something. If it is, someone tell me.)

So I meet this nice guy on grindr. 4 years, older, but not too much of a gap. We go on a date, eat at a hole-in-the-wall place, then go antique shopping. It was very nice; surprisingly romantic. So we start dating.

A month in, I get two things revealed to me in one day. a) He wanted to have sex (we were waiting) and b) he is totally addicted to child pornography.

Naturally, I'm taken aback. I didn't have experience with CP and, of course, I thought it was the weirdest, stupidest, nastiest stuff ever. But I had gone a month (b/c waiting) and I was just too thirsty. So we went to the bedroom, got kinky, and.... I learned that he had never heard of an enema. He didn't tell me this, but when the entire semi-solid contents of his bowels erupted upon my midsection, I knew instantly.

Normal people would have said, "NOPE". And that would have been the end. But I'm in a small town, I'm a guy and the options are slim. Plus, the guy's cute. So I say, let's just chill -- no sex. So we do. And in the night...he pisses. Not just a spot; he fvcking drenches the bed in his man-piss.

I'm not happy. But my dad always told me "the third times a charm", so I give him one more chance. I go over to his apartment a few weeks later and he's high, drunk and horny as all get out. The mini-me in my pants is saying, "Get it babe", so I do.

It was not semi-solid this time. It was full on "he must have dysentery" action. You never realize how much mass a human colon can contain until you have a near-full grown man empty his onto your groin. I saw it, vomited, noticed the vomit mix in, vomited again, made him let me use the shower alone (while he's covered in his own sht,) and I left.

Worst date ever.

That is the most repulsive thing I have ever heard of.
Tsar of DDO
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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1/19/2016 6:47:06 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:15:34 AM, Cobalt wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:01:33 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/19/2016 6:00:14 AM, Cobalt wrote:
Too bad this thread isn't "Gay Sex Story Horrors", because I would win.

You're gay? Very good.

Welcome to the dark side.

Welcome?

I've been here to whole time.

Speaking of awkward meetings (and I really hope this isn't against the ToS or something. If it is, someone tell me.)

So I meet this nice guy on grindr. 4 years, older, but not too much of a gap. We go on a date, eat at a hole-in-the-wall place, then go antique shopping. It was very nice; surprisingly romantic. So we start dating.

A month in, I get two things revealed to me in one day. a) He wanted to have sex (we were waiting) and b) he is totally addicted to child pornography.

Naturally, I'm taken aback. I didn't have experience with CP and, of course, I thought it was the weirdest, stupidest, nastiest stuff ever. But I had gone a month (b/c waiting) and I was just too thirsty. So we went to the bedroom, got kinky, and.... I learned that he had never heard of an enema. He didn't tell me this, but when the entire semi-solid contents of his bowels erupted upon my midsection, I knew instantly.

Normal people would have said, "NOPE". And that would have been the end. But I'm in a small town, I'm a guy and the options are slim. Plus, the guy's cute. So I say, let's just chill -- no sex. So we do. And in the night...he pisses. Not just a spot; he fvcking drenches the bed in his man-piss.

I'm not happy. But my dad always told me "the third times a charm", so I give him one more chance. I go over to his apartment a few weeks later and he's high, drunk and horny as all get out. The mini-me in my pants is saying, "Get it babe", so I do.

It was not semi-solid this time. It was full on "he must have dysentery" action. You never realize how much mass a human colon can contain until you have a near-full grown man empty his onto your groin. I saw it, vomited, noticed the vomit mix in, vomited again, made him let me use the shower alone (while he's covered in his own sht,) and I left.

Worst date ever.

Wait, you willingly and knowingly had sex with a pedophile?
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Andromeda_Z
Posts: 4,151
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1/20/2016 2:59:31 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
I went out on a date with this guy from okcupid. He wasn't exactly my type, but we were having enough fun talking that I took him up on his offer of meeting for coffee anyway. First off, he's sitting in the cafe with his hat on. I know it's silly, but I was raised with very strict restaurant manners - you never eat with a hat on, you always set your napkin on your lap, etc. He broke all of those rules into a thousand tiny pieces. Not a huge deal though, right?

Wrong. He then starts telling me all about how he's working on his fourth degree and all the other people in his classes are stupid and blah blah blah. Basically, he's just an @ss, and not nearly attractive enough to get away with it.

But wait - there's more! He then starts telling me about his ex of two years and how she cheated on him and how he's basically always drunk. So he went from average-but-fun to a bit rude to a major jerk to a mess with a drinking problem. And keep in mind, this was all over the course of about half an hour. I politely excused myself and didn't text him back.

So, the story's over, right? I met a fantastic guy the next week, been dating him a while, hadn't heard from this guy in three months. Out of the blue, he sends me a text at 2am! About how he's drunk and misses his ex.
Andromeda_Z
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1/20/2016 3:03:01 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 5:39:29 AM, YYW wrote:
At 1/19/2016 4:38:39 AM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
Well, this thread just become a hard R

lol shall I go on?

I've got dozens of these...

Lol yeah, go for it. Your stories are way more interesting than mine!
Andromeda_Z
Posts: 4,151
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1/20/2016 3:03:29 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 5:40:38 AM, Mikal wrote:
Tldr version


I had sex with with a girl (my first red head) on top of the hood of my car. Girl was a freak. We went at it for like an hour with various forms of foreplay and doing the actual act. She finished like twice and was pretty damn good. On the way home she got a call from her bf (whom i didnt know that she had) come to find out she was a catholic and engaged to a guy. She tried to witness to me like 3 days later then i blocked her

Oh, Catholics... They're either really repressed or really not
Cobalt
Posts: 991
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1/20/2016 3:03:42 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/19/2016 6:47:06 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

Wait, you willingly and knowingly had sex with a pedophile?

...I'm not proud of anything that happened over that period of a few months.
Mikal
Posts: 11,270
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1/20/2016 4:16:45 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/20/2016 3:03:29 AM, Andromeda_Z wrote:
At 1/19/2016 5:40:38 AM, Mikal wrote:
Tldr version


I had sex with with a girl (my first red head) on top of the hood of my car. Girl was a freak. We went at it for like an hour with various forms of foreplay and doing the actual act. She finished like twice and was pretty damn good. On the way home she got a call from her bf (whom i didnt know that she had) come to find out she was a catholic and engaged to a guy. She tried to witness to me like 3 days later then i blocked her

Oh, Catholics... They're either really repressed or really not

Understatement
n7
Posts: 1,358
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1/20/2016 4:58:52 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
I've never had bad date, because I've never been on one.

http://f1.thejournal.ie...
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.