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Religious dating record

Black-Jesus
Posts: 60
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1/31/2016 11:43:52 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
I'm just curious about the religion of some of your guys' boy and girlfriends, to kind of get a grasp on who attracts who, and what the dynamics are of an inter-religious relationship as well as share with you my experiences as well.

I've been an atheist my entire dating life and I've had one Christian girlfriend, an agnostic and two atheists.

My first girlfriend was a pretty devote Southern Baptist Christian who wasn't even aware that I was an atheist. She thought that I was critical of organized religion because I didn't go to church, so she tried to get me to go one Sunday, but I just said "I don't go to church", and she says "Why?" and I told because I don't believe in God and I had to clarify, like, three times before he understood, and it immediately set off a debate. I presented my side of the argument as politely as I could, not wanting her to think I'm antagonistic.

Anyway, she calmed down eventually but she kept bringing it up that day saying things like "I can't believe your an atheist" and stuff like that. I remember wondering why she was treating me like I betrayed her or something. So, she ended up telling her parents about it that week, and they grilled her because they were super religious, her mother probably more so than her father. I mean, they were nice people and I like them, but they didn't understand that I did indeed have moral structure and I wasn't going to sacrifice her or something. So that relationship broke after only about 2 months or so.

That was when I was a junior or sophomore in high school. Then I dated an atheist in my senior year. She was a year younger and top of her class, or near the top anyway. We didn't really talk religion except when we'd complain about our religious families and friends. We broke up when I got accepted to Appalachian State, which was 4-5 hours away, early in the spring semester.

Then I met an agnostic in my freshman year at Appalachian. We had a good relationship and religion hardly came up, but when it did, we would lightly debate it because I'm agnostic atheist and she was a pure agnostic. That relationship lasted the longest, until the beginning of our junior year there.

Then I met the second atheist who worked at my favorite diner (corny right?) in my first year at Brown Law, but it didn't last long because I was too busy, and when I had free time on the weekends she was working.

All in all, I found that, as can only be reasonably hypothesized, I got along fine with all of them (at first anyway), and religion never came into it. But when it did, it was mostly okay (except for the first girl). And I think the reason I got that reaction from the first girl was because she had never met an atheist before, she didn't know or understand them, growing up in small town, Southern America, everyone she had ever known was Southern Baptist or Methodist, and the same for her parents. But I spoke to that family the following year and I think they benefited from the experience because they realized that I wasn't that bad of a guy, and my closest circle of friends weren't bad people, despite all of us but one being atheist/agnostic. And, looking back, the agnostic had very religious parents that I met a few times, but they were nice and knew I was an atheist. And I think that that is because they had already met someone irreligious, their daughter. And that girl's younger sibling was an atheist, and some of her friends that she used to bring home from school were irreligious, and the parents realized that no faith in God doesn't equate to no morality.

The problem? That religious people and religious communities who fear atheists and agnostics usually only do so because they have never met or don't know much about the "unaffiliated". Because, the fact is, atheists/agnostics are just regular people that you would never even know were irreligious because it really doesn't even matter. Sure, there are some atheist/LeVayan Satanic teenagers who dress in all black with gauges and tattoos on their face, but the vast majority are regular joes juts trying to make their way.
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Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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2/1/2016 12:46:39 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Mostly people who don't care about religion one way or another, but still somehow label themself Christian.

The ones that take christianity serious were mostly Catholic, because I'm really into hispanic chicks
Geogeer
Posts: 4,263
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2/1/2016 10:06:25 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 1/31/2016 11:43:52 PM, Black-Jesus wrote:
I'm just curious about the religion of some of your guys' boy and girlfriends, to kind of get a grasp on who attracts who, and what the dynamics are of an inter-religious relationship as well as share with you my experiences as well.

I've been an atheist my entire dating life and I've had one Christian girlfriend, an agnostic and two atheists.

My first girlfriend was a pretty devote Southern Baptist Christian who wasn't even aware that I was an atheist. She thought that I was critical of organized religion because I didn't go to church, so she tried to get me to go one Sunday, but I just said "I don't go to church", and she says "Why?" and I told because I don't believe in God and I had to clarify, like, three times before he understood, and it immediately set off a debate. I presented my side of the argument as politely as I could, not wanting her to think I'm antagonistic.

Anyway, she calmed down eventually but she kept bringing it up that day saying things like "I can't believe your an atheist" and stuff like that. I remember wondering why she was treating me like I betrayed her or something. So, she ended up telling her parents about it that week, and they grilled her because they were super religious, her mother probably more so than her father. I mean, they were nice people and I like them, but they didn't understand that I did indeed have moral structure and I wasn't going to sacrifice her or something. So that relationship broke after only about 2 months or so.

That was when I was a junior or sophomore in high school. Then I dated an atheist in my senior year. She was a year younger and top of her class, or near the top anyway. We didn't really talk religion except when we'd complain about our religious families and friends. We broke up when I got accepted to Appalachian State, which was 4-5 hours away, early in the spring semester.

Then I met an agnostic in my freshman year at Appalachian. We had a good relationship and religion hardly came up, but when it did, we would lightly debate it because I'm agnostic atheist and she was a pure agnostic. That relationship lasted the longest, until the beginning of our junior year there.

Then I met the second atheist who worked at my favorite diner (corny right?) in my first year at Brown Law, but it didn't last long because I was too busy, and when I had free time on the weekends she was working.

All in all, I found that, as can only be reasonably hypothesized, I got along fine with all of them (at first anyway), and religion never came into it. But when it did, it was mostly okay (except for the first girl). And I think the reason I got that reaction from the first girl was because she had never met an atheist before, she didn't know or understand them, growing up in small town, Southern America, everyone she had ever known was Southern Baptist or Methodist, and the same for her parents. But I spoke to that family the following year and I think they benefited from the experience because they realized that I wasn't that bad of a guy, and my closest circle of friends weren't bad people, despite all of us but one being atheist/agnostic. And, looking back, the agnostic had very religious parents that I met a few times, but they were nice and knew I was an atheist. And I think that that is because they had already met someone irreligious, their daughter. And that girl's younger sibling was an atheist, and some of her friends that she used to bring home from school were irreligious, and the parents realized that no faith in God doesn't equate to no morality.

The problem? That religious people and religious communities who fear atheists and agnostics usually only do so because they have never met or don't know much about the "unaffiliated". Because, the fact is, atheists/agnostics are just regular people that you would never even know were irreligious because it really doesn't even matter. Sure, there are some atheist/LeVayan Satanic teenagers who dress in all black with gauges and tattoos on their face, but the vast majority are regular joes juts trying to make their way.

As one who would be classified as very religious on here I'll answer you from a religious perspective. I don't fear atheists. Most of my friends are agnostic or atheist. They are nice guys that I enjoy spending time with. However, I could never consider marrying someone who didn't share my faith.

Marriage means kids. Kids mean responsibility. Given that nothing is more important to me than that I transfer my faith to my children means that I could never accept anybody who doesn't believe the same as me in marriage. Additionally, I view marriage as 2 becoming one. If we cannot agree on our fundamental beliefs, I cannot see how we could possibly have a strong marriage where we were traveling the same road together. There would always be a part of us that couldn't be shared.
Black-Jesus
Posts: 60
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2/2/2016 2:28:49 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
As one who would be classified as very religious on here I'll answer you from a religious perspective. I don't fear atheists. Most of my friends are agnostic or atheist. They are nice guys that I enjoy spending time with. However, I could never consider marrying someone who didn't share my faith.

Marriage means kids. Kids mean responsibility. Given that nothing is more important to me than that I transfer my faith to my children means that I could never accept anybody who doesn't believe the same as me in marriage. Additionally, I view marriage as 2 becoming one. If we cannot agree on our fundamental beliefs, I cannot see how we could possibly have a strong marriage where we were traveling the same road together. There would always be a part of us that couldn't be shared.

I can understand that, I mean, I see where you are coming from. I don't really care about the religion of a partner, unless they are what I would consider too committed to it, but, I mean, many sects of Christianity and other religions command their followers to not even affiliate themselves with atheists, and whether you follow that doctrine or not, religion does play a big influence in relationships between people, especially if one or both of those partners are strongly convicted to their religious beliefs.
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Blade-of-Truth
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2/2/2016 10:51:25 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
I'm an agnostic who leans towards theism, my girlfriend is the exact same. We both believe in a higher power, but not organized religion or necessarily the Abrahamic conception of God.
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Diqiucun_Cunmin
Posts: 2,710
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2/2/2016 5:19:04 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
I thought this was going to be about dating religious texts haha...
The thing is, I hate relativism. I hate relativism more than I hate everything else, excepting, maybe, fibreglass powerboats... What it overlooks, to put it briefly and crudely, is the fixed structure of human nature. - Jerry Fodor

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