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Making good first impressions

ESocialBookworm
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2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

I feel like whenever I talk to someone for the first time, they end up hating me. And then after talking for a longer while, and realizing I'm not a crazy, psychotic bitch, then they think I'm normal and cool.
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1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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2/11/2016 12:37:25 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
My first impressions are mixed. No advice.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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Vaarka
Posts: 7,574
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2/11/2016 12:38:32 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

I feel like whenever I talk to someone for the first time, they end up hating me. And then after talking for a longer while, and realizing I'm not a crazy, psychotic bitch, then they think I'm normal and cool.

I have to talk to people, and over time it became easier.

Now, if a set subject is already existing, then that's easy. However, if it's like a "Hi," situation where you've never met the person and just decided to talk to them, it's a little different. It can be awkward at first, and doesn't always work, especially if they have no idea how to hold a conversation (happens sometimes...I have a story for this as an example if you'd like to hear ;3). However, if you just kind of...start talking to them a little bit, while still awkward, they'll usually answer back. Then, try to find something to start a subject with. What shirt are they wearing? Do you recognize what's on their shirt? Are they playing a game on their phone that you play? Find something to base it off, and if not, just guess, though don't choose something that could offend them if you're wrong (this can be kinda self explanatory, depending on what it is you're able to talk about. If it's blatantly obvious that someone can be offended if you're wrong, don't do it. If there's a tiny tiny chance, go for it). If they start the conversation, then there you go.

Now, obviously, if you and the other person start talking about the Pink Floyd shirt they had on and about Pink Floyd, you can't keep that going forever. Keep it from dying out by talking about similar subjects, like maybe other classic rock bands. Eventually, you'll both start to warm up a little bit to each other, breaking the ice. Continue to chat, seeing what else you can continue with.

Start to be a little more yourself, relaxed. It'll encourage them to relax a little, too (sometimes). Eventually, they'll start to be more comfortable talking with you, and eventually, they'll get used to you. Then you can work on friendships from there.

At least, that's my suggestion. It may vary depending on who you are, but I think you get the general idea here.
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Hayd
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2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

I feel like whenever I talk to someone for the first time, they end up hating me. And then after talking for a longer while, and realizing I'm not a crazy, psychotic bitch, then they think I'm normal and cool.

Talk about superficial things. What school do you go to, what are you studying, whats your favorite book, how do you like your teachers, have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?, etc. If the person is interested in having a conversation, a good back-and-forth conversation will commence by the first or second question. What you don't want to do is ask 5 questions and act like you're interrogating them. Be light and friendly. Superficial ---> real.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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2/11/2016 1:40:38 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

Smile and act genuinely interested in what they have to say while making sure to not look around to much at other things as a lack of eye contact is taken as both disinterest and also will give off the impression that you can't be trusted. Its a balance because too much eye contact and it gets creepy. Though tbh, I maintain eye contact naturally more than most others. But only because when I do I truly am interested in what a person is saying.

More importantly, find common ground. If its another woman, start off with a conversation about her outfit, like, compliment something you genuinely think looks nice, and ask where she got it or something similar to that. Flattery always works to great effect.

Common topics like music, food, school(at your age/college age), you know, stuff that everybody majoritively has in common. Within a few questions a good conversation should start up and it will flow naturally. Hide the awkwardness, because acting awkward comes across as disinterest more often than not, as if the other person is inconveniencing or boring you, even if you started the conversation.
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Buddamoose
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2/11/2016 1:45:34 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
Oh, and RELAX. If you act too tensely the other person will be tense as well. Remember, people feed off each other emotionally through tone, body language, and the like. If you seem awkward, they'll start to feel awkward. If you seem disinterested, they will become as well. Communication is 95% nonverbal, and 5% verbal after all.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
lannan13
Posts: 23,062
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2/12/2016 3:08:32 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

I feel like whenever I talk to someone for the first time, they end up hating me. And then after talking for a longer while, and realizing I'm not a crazy, psychotic bitch, then they think I'm normal and cool.

Be yourself.
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Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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ColeTrain
Posts: 4,306
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2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.
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famousdebater
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2/17/2016 9:05:11 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.

They don't have them in the UK :(
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
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ColeTrain
Posts: 4,306
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2/17/2016 9:06:19 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/17/2016 9:05:11 PM, famousdebater wrote:
At 2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.

They don't have them in the UK :(

Visit the US. You'll find it's better than the UK and move here to stay. We also have chicken fries. :D
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
famousdebater
Posts: 3,941
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2/17/2016 9:07:21 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/17/2016 9:06:19 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/17/2016 9:05:11 PM, famousdebater wrote:
At 2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.

They don't have them in the UK :(

Visit the US. You'll find it's better than the UK and move here to stay. We also have chicken fries. :D

I feel like moving to the US now. Based solely on the premise that they have chicken fries! XD
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
John Galsworthy
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,306
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2/17/2016 9:07:56 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/17/2016 9:07:21 PM, famousdebater wrote:
At 2/17/2016 9:06:19 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/17/2016 9:05:11 PM, famousdebater wrote:
At 2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.

They don't have them in the UK :(

Visit the US. You'll find it's better than the UK and move here to stay. We also have chicken fries. :D

I feel like moving to the US now. Based solely on the premise that they have chicken fries! XD

It'd be worth it, promise. It's like chicken nuggets and fries, but mixed.
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,306
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2/17/2016 9:09:01 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

I'm sorry for kinda derailing the thread... so I'll respond to the OP. Generally, I'd suggest being friendly, talking about things you might think they'll be interested in, etc. :)
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
Hayd
Posts: 4,022
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2/17/2016 9:16:07 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.

I heard they were sh!t
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,306
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2/17/2016 11:19:40 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/17/2016 9:16:07 PM, Hayd wrote:
At 2/17/2016 8:10:05 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 2/11/2016 1:54:33 AM, Hayd wrote:
have you tried the new Burger King Chicken Fries?

YES!!!!!! They are soo good.

I heard they were *censored*

Nah... they are delicious.
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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2/18/2016 1:41:41 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
I do actually have some advice: never be superficial. That's a terrible approach to anything.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
A_Poozer
Posts: 23
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2/18/2016 9:00:11 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/11/2016 12:24:35 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
How does one make a good first impression? Like have a polite conversation? You know what topics do you bring up?

I feel like whenever I talk to someone for the first time, they end up hating me. And then after talking for a longer while, and realizing I'm not a crazy, psychotic bitch, then they think I'm normal and cool.

If they hate your opener how do you hold the conversation?

As an introvert in real life here's what I do.
First stalk someone from your school\work that you think you could be greate friends with.
Second create an account in a website they regularly use and befriend them.
Third once your close friends online ask where they work\attend school and tell them your classmates\workmates.
Fourth meet in real life and boom you got yourself a friend. And if he has a circle of friends already then your in luck cause now you've got alot of new friends.

It's a good way of finding friends cause if all else fails they will never know it was you and you could just restart.

That's just my two cents though. Cheers mate!
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