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Relating and Crushing

XLAV
Posts: 13,715
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2/21/2016 1:18:55 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
I have a friend who I like, and I think she likes me back, but I (or we) find it hard to relate with each other. I may just be overthinking, but every time I feel like I fail at relating/ talking to her at the end of the day, I get frustrated.

Funny thing is, there is another girl, another friend, who I can relate a lot too. Though we both only see each other as friends, I just find it odd that I have feeling for this other girl and not her.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

They're both pretty, but the other girl that I can easily relate to is Chinese. Sometimes I wonder if its because I'm just racist, lol.
AWSM0055
Posts: 751
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2/21/2016 1:27:22 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:18:55 PM, XLAV wrote:
I have a friend who I like, and I think she likes me back, but I (or we) find it hard to relate with each other. I may just be overthinking, but every time I feel like I fail at relating/ talking to her at the end of the day, I get frustrated.

We've all been there before. To be honest though, it doesn't really matter if you can relate easily or not (unless of course your intending on marrying her, then it matters a lot). You know the old saying "people love talking about themselves"? Just talk about her.

Funny thing is, there is another girl, another friend, who I can relate a lot too. Though we both only see each other as friends, I just find it odd that I have feeling for this other girl and not her.

Yup. Had a similar thing like that too.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

My advice is that you go with the girl you like, unless you intend on marrying, then you got to make a more broad consideration for the future.

They're both pretty, but the other girl that I can easily relate to is Chinese. Sometimes I wonder if its because I'm just racist, lol.

No, of course that's not racist.
"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson

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XLAV
Posts: 13,715
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2/21/2016 1:33:43 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:27:22 PM, AWSM0055 wrote:
We've all been there before. To be honest though, it doesn't really matter if you can relate easily or not (unless of course your intending on marrying her, then it matters a lot). You know the old saying "people love talking about themselves"? Just talk about her.
Ok, maybe I can do that.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

My advice is that you go with the girl you like, unless you intend on marrying, then you got to make a more broad consideration for the future.
Then what is the point of being in a relationship?
Relationships ends in two ways.
1. Marriage
2. Break-up
AWSM0055
Posts: 751
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2/21/2016 1:47:53 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:33:43 PM, XLAV wrote:
At 2/21/2016 1:27:22 PM, AWSM0055 wrote:
We've all been there before. To be honest though, it doesn't really matter if you can relate easily or not (unless of course your intending on marrying her, then it matters a lot). You know the old saying "people love talking about themselves"? Just talk about her.
Ok, maybe I can do that.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

My advice is that you go with the girl you like, unless you intend on marrying, then you got to make a more broad consideration for the future.
Then what is the point of being in a relationship?
Relationships ends in two ways.
1. Marriage
2. Break-up

That's true, it's just easier to seperate when not married then when married. If you intend on marrying, and don't intend on divorcing later, then you got to pick someone who will understand you. That isn't a requirement, but it'll go a long way. It's much easier to find people with common interests than unselfish people.
"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson

"Calling my atheism a religion, is like calling my non-stamp-collecting a hobby" - MagicAintReal 2016

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Matt8800: "When warring men kidnap damsels of the enemy, what do they do?"

Jerry947: "They give them the option of marriage."

Matt8800: "Correct! You won idiot of the year award!"

http://explosm.net...
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,848
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2/21/2016 6:47:16 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:18:55 PM, XLAV wrote:
I have a friend who I like, and I think she likes me back, but I (or we) find it hard to relate with each other. I may just be overthinking, but every time I feel like I fail at relating/ talking to her at the end of the day, I get frustrated.

Funny thing is, there is another girl, another friend, who I can relate a lot too. Though we both only see each other as friends, I just find it odd that I have feeling for this other girl and not her.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

They're both pretty, but the other girl that I can easily relate to is Chinese. Sometimes I wonder if its because I'm just racist, lol.

We like what we can't have. You're inclined to "go after" the first girl because she's a "challenge" and you can't have her.
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The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,571
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2/21/2016 6:59:30 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:18:55 PM, XLAV wrote:
I have a friend who I like, and I think she likes me back, but I (or we) find it hard to relate with each other. I may just be overthinking, but every time I feel like I fail at relating/ talking to her at the end of the day, I get frustrated.

Funny thing is, there is another girl, another friend, who I can relate a lot too. Though we both only see each other as friends, I just find it odd that I have feeling for this other girl and not her.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

They're both pretty, but the other girl that I can easily relate to is Chinese. Sometimes I wonder if its because I'm just racist, lol.

Bro, I know the feeling, lol.
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

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famousdebater
Posts: 3,943
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2/21/2016 8:21:56 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:18:55 PM, XLAV wrote:

Don't go out with either. Keep friends with both of them but unless you start finding it easier to relate to the first girl then I suggest you don't go out with either.
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
John Galsworthy
XLAV
Posts: 13,715
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2/22/2016 11:10:47 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 6:47:16 PM, PetersSmith wrote:

We like what we can't have. You're inclined to "go after" the first girl because she's a "challenge" and you can't have her.

Maybe.

My best friend kinda said the same thing. He likes girls who don't like him, and he has tons of girls who like him. Oddly though, he suddenly loses interests if the girl who initially doesn't like him, like him again.
The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,571
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2/22/2016 11:36:16 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/22/2016 11:08:27 AM, XLAV wrote:
At 2/21/2016 6:59:30 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:

Bro, I know the feeling, lol.

How did you handle it?

Yet to be determined. :P

I talk with and know both, but It hasn't really be anything major. I'm just waiting to see what happens.
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

"Crap, what is my religion again?" -Vaarka

I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I've learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.
diarrhea_of_a_wimpy_kid
Posts: 146
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2/22/2016 3:24:32 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/21/2016 1:33:43 PM, XLAV wrote:
At 2/21/2016 1:27:22 PM, AWSM0055 wrote:
We've all been there before. To be honest though, it doesn't really matter if you can relate easily or not (unless of course your intending on marrying her, then it matters a lot). You know the old saying "people love talking about themselves"? Just talk about her.
Ok, maybe I can do that.

Why is that? Why do I like someone I can hardly relate too? This has been bothering me for some time now. My friends who I trust either don't know these girls so they can't help me out or are giving me bad advice.

My advice is that you go with the girl you like, unless you intend on marrying, then you got to make a more broad consideration for the future.
Then what is the point of being in a relationship?
Relationships ends in two ways.
1. Marriage
2. Break-up

Too simplistic. That's like saying you won't get a puppy because it will die. And believe me, #2 is by far the easier of the two choices.

Unless you have a biological clock ticking, enjoy the experience and grow as a person while dating. It's the life that you live, not the death at the end that matters.