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Having "The Talk"

Maikuru
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2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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BlazingRodent
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2/26/2016 3:22:18 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

Nothing. I learned the birds and bees in school and was already aware of everything else serious because if the internet.
Maikuru
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2/26/2016 3:36:47 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 3:22:18 PM, BlazingRodent wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

Nothing. I learned the birds and bees in school and was already aware of everything else serious because if the internet.

Yeah, I think that's becoming increasingly common. When you learned about that stuff on the internet, was it by doing research or talking to people?

Also, do you wish your parents had talked to you about those issues at all?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
TheFlex
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2/26/2016 3:49:09 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

I think the only "serious" conversations I wanted with my parents were ones they thought too personal for them to tell me. "Why did you divorce?" Type stuff. They always avoided the issue with me which set the tone for future "serious" conversations.
Rosalie
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2/26/2016 4:43:15 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
I remember when my mom found out I was kissing girls...Lol.
She found a picture of me kissing this one girl...she had a long, long talk with me (didn't learn anything from it)
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
Buddamoose
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2/26/2016 4:48:32 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

Not many serious conversations. Really I think the main ones were regarding the importance of actually showing up to school(which i rarely did) and the big "respect" talk. In which I politely informed them with such vividly kind and generously nice words that they could shove it where the sun doth not shine for x, y, and z valid reasons. That was the last time it came up.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Subutai
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2/26/2016 4:49:04 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
Everything I know about sex I have learned from my own experiences on the internet. My mother still doesn't even know I like girls (although that's due to the fact that I've never been in a relationship, and I've never bothered to tell her), much less has she had "the talk" with me.
I'm becoming less defined as days go by, fading away, and well you might say, I'm losing focus, kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.
Buddamoose
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2/26/2016 4:51:21 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
Or when I asked my dad about the birds and the bees, specifically why I wasn't just attracted to girls, and I pretty much got ignored cause I suppose that was a bit uncomfortable of a subject for them
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Vox_Veritas
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2/26/2016 4:51:38 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
I once got this talk about watching out for pedophiles. Does that count?
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Buddamoose
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2/26/2016 5:16:16 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 4:51:38 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
I once got this talk about watching out for pedophiles. Does that count?

But of course, and then you depressingly realize it's not stranger danger, it's danger from those close -_-
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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2/26/2016 5:27:08 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 3:49:09 PM, TheFlex wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

I think the only "serious" conversations I wanted with my parents were ones they thought too personal for them to tell me. "Why did you divorce?" Type stuff. They always avoided the issue with me which set the tone for future "serious" conversations.

Were there any serious conversations they were willing to have with you?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
TheFlex
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2/26/2016 5:35:52 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 5:27:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 2/26/2016 3:49:09 PM, TheFlex wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

I think the only "serious" conversations I wanted with my parents were ones they thought too personal for them to tell me. "Why did you divorce?" Type stuff. They always avoided the issue with me which set the tone for future "serious" conversations.

Were there any serious conversations they were willing to have with you?

The only serious one I recall having was when my mother thought I was suicidal (I wasn't. I was just an introvert.). There's stuff I think I wanted to talk with them about but didn't because of that and also because I could accurately depict what they'd say. It was like, "Why bother if I already knew what they're going to say?"
Maikuru
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2/27/2016 3:26:45 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 4:43:15 PM, Rosalie wrote:
I remember when my mom found out I was kissing girls...Lol.
She found a picture of me kissing this one girl...she had a long, long talk with me (didn't learn anything from it)

Was she upset?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
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2/27/2016 3:27:22 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 4:48:32 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

Not many serious conversations. Really I think the main ones were regarding the importance of actually showing up to school(which i rarely did) and the big "respect" talk. In which I politely informed them with such vividly kind and generously nice words that they could shove it where the sun doth not shine for x, y, and z valid reasons. That was the last time it came up.

lol ouch. Why didn't you go to school much?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
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2/27/2016 3:28:03 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 4:51:38 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
I once got this talk about watching out for pedophiles. Does that count?

I think that counts big time.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Rosalie
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2/27/2016 3:28:10 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 3:26:45 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 2/26/2016 4:43:15 PM, Rosalie wrote:
I remember when my mom found out I was kissing girls...Lol.
She found a picture of me kissing this one girl...she had a long, long talk with me (didn't learn anything from it)

Was she upset?

Hell yes....she was, very mad. She wouldn't even talk to me for the rest of the day.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
Maikuru
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2/27/2016 3:30:08 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 3:28:10 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 2/27/2016 3:26:45 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 2/26/2016 4:43:15 PM, Rosalie wrote:
I remember when my mom found out I was kissing girls...Lol.
She found a picture of me kissing this one girl...she had a long, long talk with me (didn't learn anything from it)

Was she upset?


Hell yes....she was, very mad. She wouldn't even talk to me for the rest of the day.

Damn, that sounds painful.

Sometimes I think about how I'll be as a parent if I find out something about my kid(s) that upsets me. You want to be thoughtful and not traumatize them, but you also have your own emotions to wrestle with. Especially if they're doing something that you think will make their lives harder, even if they can't change it.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
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2/27/2016 3:30:57 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 5:35:52 PM, TheFlex wrote:
At 2/26/2016 5:27:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 2/26/2016 3:49:09 PM, TheFlex wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
This cartoon struck me and I"d like to hear new perspectives.

https://blackandsmart.files.wordpress.com...

What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

I think the only "serious" conversations I wanted with my parents were ones they thought too personal for them to tell me. "Why did you divorce?" Type stuff. They always avoided the issue with me which set the tone for future "serious" conversations.

Were there any serious conversations they were willing to have with you?

The only serious one I recall having was when my mother thought I was suicidal (I wasn't. I was just an introvert.). There's stuff I think I wanted to talk with them about but didn't because of that and also because I could accurately depict what they'd say. It was like, "Why bother if I already knew what they're going to say?"

I wonder what they were thinking during all that. Do you have kids? How would you talk to an introverted kid?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Blade-of-Truth
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2/27/2016 9:05:55 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

In regards to the "birds and the bees", I had an older brother who was 16 when I was 7-8 years old. So I spied on him alot when he'd bring girls home from school - learned alot. From there, porn. When my dad DID approach me to have the talk I simply walked over to my dresser and whipped out the condoms I already had. He stood up, gave me a thumbs up, and then walked out while whistling on his way down the stairs.

In regards to the "guns and the racist system meant to drag me and my people down" talk, I had the movie Roots and Bill Cosby. They really got me through it. Knowing about my African roots and understanding that my people were taken from their land and forced into slavery. It was hard. But I learned to cope, to live in this White Devil world. I said NO to drugs, and said YES to education. I started from the bottom, but now I'm here. I started from the bottom but now my whole team is fuckin' here.
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Rosalie
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2/27/2016 9:16:33 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 9:05:55 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

In regards to the "birds and the bees", I had an older brother who was 16 when I was 7-8 years old. So I spied on him alot when he'd bring girls home from school - learned alot. From there, porn. When my dad DID approach me to have the talk I simply walked over to my dresser and whipped out the condoms I already had. He stood up, gave me a thumbs up, and then walked out while whistling on his way down the stairs.


Lol...you spyed on your brother? :p

Damn, if my my mom would have found a condom in my room, I wouldn't have seen another day XD
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
Blade-of-Truth
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2/27/2016 9:37:49 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 9:16:33 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 2/27/2016 9:05:55 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

In regards to the "birds and the bees", I had an older brother who was 16 when I was 7-8 years old. So I spied on him alot when he'd bring girls home from school - learned alot. From there, porn. When my dad DID approach me to have the talk I simply walked over to my dresser and whipped out the condoms I already had. He stood up, gave me a thumbs up, and then walked out while whistling on his way down the stairs.


Lol...you spyed on your brother? :p

Haha, well, not like everytime. The problem is that I'd get home earlier than him and would always go into his room to listen to his music and just hang out. Sometimes he'd come home and I wouldn't hear him until the front door shut due to the music, and thus would have to hide in his closet or behind the clothing bin... whatever I was closest to really. But yeah, other times I'd have a friend over and we'd totally spy purposely. What can I say, we were boys and there'd be a naked highschool chick in his room. Obviously we're gonna spy, lol.

It was awesome having an older brother like that. We were too far apart to really have to compete for things, so we never had that bad brotherly experience. He'd just teach me life lessons if needed and let me do super cool things (in my mind) like drive his car down the street or buy me and my friends beer (later once I was in highschool).

Damn, if my my mom would have found a condom in my room, I wouldn't have seen another day XD

My dad has always been pretty cool. He knew I was smart and would generally trust me to do my own thing. However, if I did screw up, he'd be sure to let me know it. He'd pull the "I'm not angry, just disappointed" line... I hated that so much. He's cool though, and I can say that we're good friends even now as I'm an adult. Sounds weird to say my dad is my friend, but idk sometimes when you become an adult and pay for your own bills you lose that parental connection. Luckily my dad and I remain good friends though and can chat about literally anything - from girls, to politics, to law, to whatever really.
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Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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2/27/2016 3:03:20 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
It's really interesting to see the varying extent to which people are having these conversations with their parents.

I had "serious" talks with my mom all the time. Living in one of the most violent and impoverished cities in the country, we couldn't really escape it. We talked about race and racism, about poverty and class differences, about violence and respect, and a lot of about the importance of education and being true to yourself and your passions.

She tried to instill certain values in me. We'd volunteer at shelters and give gifts away to less fortunate families (though we technically qualified to have gifts given to us), and visit the firehouses to learn about helping others and whatnot.

Those conversations really shaped me, especially since I could see the impact of those things all around me. I've positioned myself in life now that I don't have any fear that my kids will be living in such a state, but I still know that I'll be doing my best to have those conversations with me and exposing them to ways they can help others.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Buddamoose
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2/27/2016 4:14:15 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 3:27:22 AM, Maikuru wrote:

lol ouch. Why didn't you go to school much?

In part teenage rebellion, in part cause it was boring AF. I severely disliked how schools were/are set up to operate.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Buddamoose
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2/27/2016 4:16:10 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 3:27:22 AM, Maikuru wrote:

lol ouch. Why didn't you go to school much?

It stands partially true that the greatest amount of learning I've accomplished has been of my own volition. Which, mainly can be attributed to having a few teachers that instilled the importance and priority for learning on ones own, and the value of knowledge and self-improvement of intelligence and knowledge
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
ESocialBookworm
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2/27/2016 4:42:44 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
Ironically, yesterday my teacher was telling us not to let the man do all the work. It should be split 50-50. I was explaining that to my folks. My dad got up to use the bathroom. My mum scolded me for having inappropriate conversations with my parents.

I retaliated by telling them they never told me what sex was. I found out in form 5 (3 years ago) during the reproduction topic in Bio. I told them what I thought sex was before.

My mum thought I was high.
Solonkr~
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which is what everyone else should also care about.

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In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

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Buddamoose
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2/27/2016 4:44:10 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 4:42:44 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:

My mum thought I was high.

Of course, better that she doesn't know you actually were... muwahahaha
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
ESocialBookworm
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2/27/2016 4:44:52 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 4:44:10 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 2/27/2016 4:42:44 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:

My mum thought I was high.

Of course, better that she doesn't know you actually were... muwahahaha

Never been high. I want to try it at least once tho
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Buddamoose
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2/27/2016 4:48:44 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 4:44:52 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 2/27/2016 4:44:10 PM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 2/27/2016 4:42:44 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:

My mum thought I was high.

Of course, better that she doesn't know you actually were... muwahahaha

Never been high. I want to try it at least once tho

Smoke the dope, cheefa the reefa, puff on the peace pipe, inhale the wacky tobbaccy
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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2/28/2016 12:17:17 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/27/2016 9:05:55 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
At 2/26/2016 2:36:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
What kinds of "serious" conversations did you have with your parents/guardians? What are some major conversations you might have with your kids?

In regards to the "birds and the bees", I had an older brother who was 16 when I was 7-8 years old. So I spied on him alot when he'd bring girls home from school - learned alot. From there, porn. When my dad DID approach me to have the talk I simply walked over to my dresser and whipped out the condoms I already had. He stood up, gave me a thumbs up, and then walked out while whistling on his way down the stairs.

LOL cool dad.

I also have a condom related story about this stuff. Mom and I were visiting my aunt. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, they were both sitting at the table and between them were two sleeves of condoms. Mom said take them. I took them. We never spoke of it again lol

In regards to the "guns and the racist system meant to drag me and my people down" talk, I had the movie Roots and Bill Cosby. They really got me through it. Knowing about my African roots and understanding that my people were taken from their land and forced into slavery. It was hard. But I learned to cope, to live in this White Devil world. I said NO to drugs, and said YES to education. I started from the bottom, but now I'm here. I started from the bottom but now my whole team is fuckin' here.

I think The Cosby Show was good for "normalizing" the concept of the African American family, but Fresh Prince was definitely more useful for learning about discrimination and social issues.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Reformist
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2/28/2016 7:51:07 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/26/2016 4:43:15 PM, Rosalie wrote:
I remember when my mom found out I was kissing girls...Lol.
She found a picture of me kissing this one girl...she had a long, long talk with me (didn't learn anything from it)

Goddamnit

I'm married to a lesbian
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