Total Posts:84|Showing Posts:1-30|Last Page
Jump to topic:

I believe in a thing called love

Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
Love at first sight?
Opposites attract?
Love is the strongest emotion?
Love is just chemical reactions?
If you love someone, let them go?

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

bullshitt

Love at first sight?

I am sure the chemical reaction in your brain referred to as "love" can happen on first sight.

Opposites attract?

definitely, as long as they can both be accepting of each other and the opposites compliment each other instead of clash.

Love is the strongest emotion?

Yes, some studies have shown the effects to be similar to heroin addiction.

Love is just chemical reactions?

yes

If you love someone, let them go?

Depends. Don't be a stalker, but also be man enough to know that women need to feel secure and know you'll always be there for them.


and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I fear it deeply, but am trying to be less of a coward. The definition changes with time. I used to worship the women I was with, it took a while to learn that it is unhealthy. Women do not respect a man that puts the pvssy on a pedastool, nor do other men respect that.
lamerde
Posts: 1,416
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:24:30 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

I did but you squashed that. Thanks.

Love at first sight?

Nope. I believe you can feel strong connections with people initially but relationships always take work imo.

Opposites attract?

Nope. Like attracts like. At best, people complement each other.

Love is the strongest emotion?

Ummm hm. This one is tricky. Hope is a really strong emotion and predicts things like the will to live. I'm not sure which one I'd say is stronger.

Love is just chemical reactions?

See video. https://www.youtube.com...

If you love someone, let them go?

This is probably contextual.

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

Good question.
Why I ignore YYW:
http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...
Calling someone a bitch multiple times while claiming you're taking the high road is an art form, I suppose: http://www.debate.org...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:33:02 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM, Wylted wrote:

Mind if I ask, are you married? I thought I remembered you saying you were but I'm not sure.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:35:03 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

bullshitt

I've got in trouble with the Mrs. for saying that.

Love at first sight?

I am sure the chemical reaction in your brain referred to as "love" can happen on first sight.

Opposites attract?

definitely, as long as they can both be accepting of each other and the opposites compliment each other instead of clash.

Love is the strongest emotion?

Yes, some studies have shown the effects to be similar to heroin addiction.

I remember hearing something like that. I wonder if that sustains, or if it's just for infatuation.

Love is just chemical reactions?

yes

If you love someone, let them go?

Depends. Don't be a stalker, but also be man enough to know that women need to feel secure and know you'll always be there for them.


and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I fear it deeply, but am trying to be less of a coward. The definition changes with time. I used to worship the women I was with, it took a while to learn that it is unhealthy. Women do not respect a man that puts the pvssy on a pedastool, nor do other men respect that.

Interesting that you say you fear it. Is it the idea of being vulnerable or losing some sense of control?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:35:25 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:33:02 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM, Wylted wrote:

Mind if I ask, are you married? I thought I remembered you saying you were but I'm not sure.

I am engaged. I love her, but it doesn't feel as intense as the high-school sweethearts I've had. Perhaps that is something I will never feel again.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:39:17 AM
Posted: 8 months ago

Interesting that you say you fear it. Is it the idea of being vulnerable or losing some sense of control?

I was in love with my first kid's mother. Separating from her hurt really deeply. I still feel like that about her, but keep that buried inside. I am committed to the girl I am with. I am afraid if I feel the same type of love again, it will end up with me spending more years in a deep depressive state.

My fear is mostly about pain aversion.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 4:41:57 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:35:25 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:33:02 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM, Wylted wrote:

Mind if I ask, are you married? I thought I remembered you saying you were but I'm not sure.

I am engaged. I love her, but it doesn't feel as intense as the high-school sweethearts I've had. Perhaps that is something I will never feel again.

Congratulations on the engagement.

I've been in relationships where I started out not feeling too strongly and then I've grown into the feelings, and I've been in relationships where we started super strong and then I've grown out of them. I've also been in relationships where the feelings never developed past a certain point and it just felt stale in comparison to other relationships. That's dangerous because then you start thinking back to past relationships and when you do that, it's east to see them with rose-colored glasses and only remember the good. Then you start doubting what you have, you know?

It's hard to pin down what exactly makes you feel stronger for one person than for another sometimes. Is it the excitement factor? The physical attraction? Just the circumstances of your lives? It's a tricky thing.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 5:07:08 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

Nice thought, but no.

Love at first sight?

Attraction at first sight yes, love, no

Opposites attract?

There is some slight truth to this, but not entirely true

Love is the strongest emotion?

Absolutely it is

Love is just chemical reactions?

Yup, but just because something like emotions are chemical reactions doesn't lessen their importance, and I fail to see why or how it should.

If you love someone, let them go?

Lol

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

This might be a bit long-winded but meh.

Love is a combination of opposites. It is selfless and selfish. Selfless because you would do anything in your power to see that person happy, but selfish because you not only do not want to see that person with someone else, and it would break your core to see it, but selfless because sometimes, that's exactly what you'll play a part in happening.

It is electricity, and it is earth. Electricity because when you love someone, it feels as if you are truly alive, truly able to enjoy life of its fullest. But it is the earth because love grounds a person. Love, as it should be, stabilizes them. They no longer act or make choices on pure whims, or for your own benefit. Your choices involve the other, and there is always the thought, even if sometimes we don't realize it, where we think about what the other person will think of it. How they will react to it, will they enjoy it, or will they not? Indeed, love is a first taste of what it is like to put someone else before yourself. But, strangely, putting this person before yourself, is what you want to do.

Love is sadness, and it is joy. You are happy to be around that person, regardless of whats being done. Just their presence makes your day, if only a small amount, better. Love takes you to beyond the metaphorical skies of joy. But, there is a cost, as anything so great, that comes with it. When the one you love is hurt, you feel that pain, you feel that sadness as acutely as if it were happening to you.

This is because love, between two people, joins them together in a way that is almost impossible to understand to one who hasn't experienced it. They are no longer two separate people, though they may still maintain independence and seperate lives; no, they are one. They're no longer x and y. They're not even xy. No, they're totally different from what they once were, they're a totally new "variable" a totally new piece to the puzzle of life.

This may sound cliche AF, but it's what I've felt before and hope to feel again. The reason why all this stuff is cliche is because it's a commonly shared experience, and because it is probably the single most shattering experience(in a good and bad way) a person can have in their lives.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 5:25:45 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:41:57 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:35:25 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:33:02 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM, Wylted wrote:

Mind if I ask, are you married? I thought I remembered you saying you were but I'm not sure.

I am engaged. I love her, but it doesn't feel as intense as the high-school sweethearts I've had. Perhaps that is something I will never feel again.

Congratulations on the engagement.

I've been in relationships where I started out not feeling too strongly and then I've grown into the feelings, and I've been in relationships where we started super strong and then I've grown out of them. I've also been in relationships where the feelings never developed past a certain point and it just felt stale in comparison to other relationships. That's dangerous because then you start thinking back to past relationships and when you do that, it's east to see them with rose-colored glasses and only remember the good. Then you start doubting what you have, you know?

It's hard to pin down what exactly makes you feel stronger for one person than for another sometimes. Is it the excitement factor? The physical attraction? Just the circumstances of your lives? It's a tricky thing.

Well the last one I felt deeply for was really good in bed, and really good at massaging my ego. This one not so much. I wonder how much that accounts for the different feelings.
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 6:56:20 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

As a metaphor for people who really connect, I believe in it. But I don't believe in the idea of soul mates as being one person each of us is meant for that we can never be complete without.

Love at first sight?

No.

Opposites attract?

Sometimes.

Love is the strongest emotion?

I don't think any emotion is stronger than another just because of what kind of emotion it is. A person can feel love for another stronger than they feel hate for someone else. But that same person can feel hate for one person stronger than they feel love for someone else. Each of our emotions comes in degrees, so it doesn't even make sense to ask whether one emotion is stronger than another.

Love is just chemical reactions?

No. Love may be CAUSED by chemical reactions, but it's not the same thing.

If you love someone, let them go?

No. Try to keep them.

What does love mean to you?

It means to care about somebody else's well-being.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
Hoppi
Posts: 1,655
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 7:02:41 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

I don't know what that is.

Love at first sight?

yes

Opposites attract?

yes sometimes

Love is the strongest emotion?

yes

Love is just chemical reactions?

Everything is just chemical reactions

If you love someone, let them go?

not as if you get a choice anyway

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I think that the idea of individualism is totally wrong. We are not individuals. We can't survive alone and we don't operate alone. We operate and survive in groups. Love is the subjective experience of normal interpersonal functioning.
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
Posts: 18,324
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 7:05:21 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
Love at first sight?
Opposites attract?
Love is the strongest emotion?
Love is just chemical reactions?
If you love someone, let them go?

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I've never "loved" anyone (outside of parents, family members, etc) so I don't have a very informed perspective of this. As far as "opposites attract," depends on what you mean by opposite. Opposite political views? Opposite ends of the wealth spectrum? It seems most people find others who have common interests, and of similar social & financial status. I agree with Buddamoose that attraction at first sight is possible but not love at first sight.
Cooldudebro
Posts: 383
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 7:24:29 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
I hope to dear God that soulmates are real.
Love at first sight?
Ehhh. It's mainly your brain subconsciously scanning traits and your brain be like "me likey" but not love.
Opposites attract?
Sometimes.
Love is the strongest emotion?
For sure.
Love is just chemical reactions?
No
If you love someone, let them go?
No

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

Love, to me, is a bond with a person of the opposite sex that shows you are good together. True love is acknowledging that a person of the opposite sex is your other half. It shows that the person your with is someone you'll fight for. Someone who you want to snuggle up with at night and watch anime with. (Da dream) Someone you view as an amazing person. Someone you want to spend your life with. I hope I find it. However, I doubt I will.
XLAV
Posts: 13,710
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 12:00:29 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
What
Love at first sight?
Yes
Opposites attract?
Sometimes.
Love is the strongest emotion?
Yes
Love is just chemical reactions?
Yes
If you love someone, let them go?
Depends. I'd do my best to keep them, but if she really wants to leave or there is no other way, then I'll let her go.

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?
Love keeps us together.
XLAV
Posts: 13,710
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 12:03:20 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 12:00:29 PM, XLAV wrote:
Love is just chemical reactions?
Yes
Though I try to not think of love like this. It always depresses me whenever I go philosophical or scientific with this stuff.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 12:33:13 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
Love at first sight?
Opposites attract?
Love is the strongest emotion?
Love is just chemical reactions?
If you love someone, let them go?

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I agree with all except the chemical reaction and somewhat letting go. Mostly because I've had experience
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 5:46:02 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:

I don't usually answer question like these because I'm so confused about these concepts, but I'm procrastinating on my homework. AND waiting for my McD delivery so what better time

What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

No. It's just too...illogical, I suppose. So many people, it just seems weird that there's that one person that's picked out for you.

Love at first sight?

Lol, honestly, I haven't ever been attracted to a guy purely on the basis of how they look. Almost all the girls I've talked to agree with this. I feel like girls are physically much more appealing than guys, but its easier to get attracted to guys romantically. So love at first sight doesn't really make sense to me.

Opposites attract?
Well, sort of. Although I would use the word 'complementary people' attract, rather than opposites per se. Introverts who enjoy company, but don't want to be the center of attention would enjoy people who would drag them out to parties. Extroverts with loud personalities would prefer a grounding personality, to calm them down. Introverts who actually like quiet won't really like extroverts.

I personally get attracted to people exactly like me though, but yeah, as a concept it's applicable to a lot of people.

Love is the strongest emotion?
Haha it is. I've never been in love, but the closest I have been to it fucked me up for close to a year when it ended. Still am a huge commitment phobe. Although that might just have been me.

Love is just chemical reactions?
It probably is, but that is neither here nor there. Happiness is just chemicals being released in your brain, for that matter. Still is my ultimate goal in life.

If you love someone, let them go?
Yeah. Dragging something on, just because you're attached to it is extremely hurtful for your own self worth.

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

Well, it really depends. Right now, I think it's just contentment. Being with someone I can hang out with and crack lame/dirty jokes and not get bored ever. Someone I can be best friends with, basically. It used to be someone who 'complements me' initially, but as I've grown that seems dumb.

Contentment really is a prized feeling to have though.
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,819
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 5:52:31 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
Love at first sight?
Opposites attract?
Love is the strongest emotion?
Love is just chemical reactions?
If you love someone, let them go?

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
lamerde
Posts: 1,416
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 6:23:24 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 5:46:02 PM, Cermank wrote:

AND waiting for my McD delivery so what better time

McDonald's delivers?
Why I ignore YYW:
http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...
Calling someone a bitch multiple times while claiming you're taking the high road is an art form, I suppose: http://www.debate.org...
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/15/2016 6:27:12 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 6:23:24 PM, lamerde wrote:
At 3/15/2016 5:46:02 PM, Cermank wrote:

AND waiting for my McD delivery so what better time

McDonald's delivers?

Yeah haha. It does in India.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:09:37 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:39:17 AM, Wylted wrote:

Interesting that you say you fear it. Is it the idea of being vulnerable or losing some sense of control?

I was in love with my first kid's mother. Separating from her hurt really deeply. I still feel like that about her, but keep that buried inside. I am committed to the girl I am with. I am afraid if I feel the same type of love again, it will end up with me spending more years in a deep depressive state.

My fear is mostly about pain aversion.

Yeah, that's real. Was your first kid's mother your first love? Those are hard to shake, especially if you had a whole life with them. I totally agree that feeling that kind of love can also easily flip into the deepest of depressions. It's a cruel partnership.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:23:38 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:24:30 AM, lamerde wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

I did but you squashed that. Thanks.

I told you I regret that! Why do I feel like I'll be hearing about that when I'm 70?

Love at first sight?

Nope. I believe you can feel strong connections with people initially but relationships always take work imo.

How did you feel when you first saw me in person?

Opposites attract?

Nope. Like attracts like. At best, people complement each other.

I think something like 90-10 is good, where you're 90% alike (preferably in values, backgrounds, and interests) and 10% different (preferably in things like experiences and also interests).

Love is the strongest emotion?

Ummm hm. This one is tricky. Hope is a really strong emotion and predicts things like the will to live. I'm not sure which one I'd say is stronger.

What about fear? Is that in the mix?

Love is just chemical reactions?

See video. https://www.youtube.com...

I'll watch this after Avatar.

If you love someone, let them go?

This is probably contextual.

Yerp.

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

Good question.

=D

If you had to define love in one sentence, what would it be? No googling for ideas.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Andromeda_Z
Posts: 4,151
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:26:28 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

I don't know if I believe in the concept of souls, so clearly I have some difficulty with believing in soulmates lol. But I do believe there are people that are just so clearly right for each other that it would be weird to see them with anyone else, so I guess that's not that different.
Love at first sight?

Nope. Just, no.
Opposites attract?

Somewhat, maybe. You need some differences from your significant other, in order to keep things interesting, so I can see why opposites would attract. I just can't see how they'd stay together that long without a common bond.
Love is the strongest emotion?

Nope. Apathy is.
Love is just chemical reactions?

Sure it is, everything is, but it's a wonderful chemical reaction.
If you love someone, let them go?

I just don't know about this one. I've never been in a situation where I've had to consider that bit of advice.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:30:54 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 5:07:08 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

Nice thought, but no.

Love at first sight?

Attraction at first sight yes, love, no

Opposites attract?

There is some slight truth to this, but not entirely true

Love is the strongest emotion?

Absolutely it is

Love is just chemical reactions?

Yup, but just because something like emotions are chemical reactions doesn't lessen their importance, and I fail to see why or how it should.

Fair.

If you love someone, let them go?

Lol

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

This might be a bit long-winded but meh.

Love is a combination of opposites. It is selfless and selfish. Selfless because you would do anything in your power to see that person happy, but selfish because you not only do not want to see that person with someone else, and it would break your core to see it, but selfless because sometimes, that's exactly what you'll play a part in happening.

It is electricity, and it is earth. Electricity because when you love someone, it feels as if you are truly alive, truly able to enjoy life of its fullest. But it is the earth because love grounds a person. Love, as it should be, stabilizes them. They no longer act or make choices on pure whims, or for your own benefit. Your choices involve the other, and there is always the thought, even if sometimes we don't realize it, where we think about what the other person will think of it. How they will react to it, will they enjoy it, or will they not? Indeed, love is a first taste of what it is like to put someone else before yourself. But, strangely, putting this person before yourself, is what you want to do.

Love is sadness, and it is joy. You are happy to be around that person, regardless of whats being done. Just their presence makes your day, if only a small amount, better. Love takes you to beyond the metaphorical skies of joy. But, there is a cost, as anything so great, that comes with it. When the one you love is hurt, you feel that pain, you feel that sadness as acutely as if it were happening to you.

This is because love, between two people, joins them together in a way that is almost impossible to understand to one who hasn't experienced it. They are no longer two separate people, though they may still maintain independence and seperate lives; no, they are one. They're no longer x and y. They're not even xy. No, they're totally different from what they once were, they're a totally new "variable" a totally new piece to the puzzle of life.

This may sound cliche AF, but it's what I've felt before and hope to feel again. The reason why all this stuff is cliche is because it's a commonly shared experience, and because it is probably the single most shattering experience(in a good and bad way) a person can have in their lives.

Preach lol

I agree that love, true and deep love, is impossible to really describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. I liken it to having a child, which I haven't experienced but have been told transforms the parents in a way they've never experienced before. Similarly, the biggest and most earth-shattering changes to my character and beliefs have happened because of and in the midst of a truly loving partnership.

I totally agree with your description of love as a duality. I have been my best self and my worst self in love. I've been the most open and the most closed, at the peaks of happiness and discovering new levels of sadness. In that way, love takes us to our extremes in the best ways.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Subutai
Posts: 3,172
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:33:21 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

Well a person would be in a better, more stable relationship with some people than with other people, and this implies there should be some "best" person for that person, so this is obviously a valid idea. Now the whole idea of "meant for each other" is a little suspicious, but that's beside the point.
Love at first sight?

I've experienced it first hand. Yes, this exists.
Opposites attract?

I'd definitely be off-put by someone who was just like me, but I don't think I'd want to be with someone who was the exact opposite of me either. Some kind of balance is best.
Love is the strongest emotion?

The human body has two basic desires, survival and reproduction. Love is the "emotion" behind reproduction, so it is definitely one of the strongest. But so are the "emotions" behind survival, like anger and fear.
Love is just chemical reactions?

Obviously. There's nothing else it could be.
If you love someone, let them go?


That's context dependent. If that person didn't want to be in a relationship with me, or found someone that she would like to be in a relationship with more, it'd be best for both of you to let her go.
and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I don't think I could answer this question decisively.
I'm becoming less defined as days go by, fading away, and well you might say, I'm losing focus, kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:34:20 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 5:25:45 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:41:57 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:35:25 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:33:02 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:18:59 AM, Wylted wrote:

Mind if I ask, are you married? I thought I remembered you saying you were but I'm not sure.

I am engaged. I love her, but it doesn't feel as intense as the high-school sweethearts I've had. Perhaps that is something I will never feel again.

Congratulations on the engagement.

I've been in relationships where I started out not feeling too strongly and then I've grown into the feelings, and I've been in relationships where we started super strong and then I've grown out of them. I've also been in relationships where the feelings never developed past a certain point and it just felt stale in comparison to other relationships. That's dangerous because then you start thinking back to past relationships and when you do that, it's east to see them with rose-colored glasses and only remember the good. Then you start doubting what you have, you know?

It's hard to pin down what exactly makes you feel stronger for one person than for another sometimes. Is it the excitement factor? The physical attraction? Just the circumstances of your lives? It's a tricky thing.

Well the last one I felt deeply for was really good in bed, and really good at massaging my ego. This one not so much. I wonder how much that accounts for the different feelings.

I feel like, for those of us who care about sex and sexual attraction, that plays a big role. Attraction helps shape who we like in the first place, so in that way it may narrow our "love pool." After a relationship is over, sex is always one of the easiest parts of the relationship to remember and miss (especially if you aren't getting it otherwise). That's what I mean when I say we tend to look back on past relationships with rose-colored glasses. If you aren't having sex, your ex who was good in bed is probably looking really good haha

I heard a rule of thumb that if the sex is good in a relationship, it makes up for 10% of your time (e.g., doing it, thinking about it, talking about it), but if the sex is bad, it makes up for 90% of your time (e.g., arguing about it, thinking about it with other people, feeling insecure about it). Sex definitely plays into love.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:36:49 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 6:56:20 AM, philochristos wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

As a metaphor for people who really connect, I believe in it. But I don't believe in the idea of soul mates as being one person each of us is meant for that we can never be complete without.

As I recall, you believe in souls. Is that correct? If so, do you think they have anything to do with our relationships or attractions in life?

Love at first sight?

No.

Opposites attract?

Sometimes.

Love is the strongest emotion?

I don't think any emotion is stronger than another just because of what kind of emotion it is. A person can feel love for another stronger than they feel hate for someone else. But that same person can feel hate for one person stronger than they feel love for someone else. Each of our emotions comes in degrees, so it doesn't even make sense to ask whether one emotion is stronger than another.

Interesting approach.

Love is just chemical reactions?

No. Love may be CAUSED by chemical reactions, but it's not the same thing.

What part of love goes beyond the chemical?

If you love someone, let them go?

No. Try to keep them.

What does love mean to you?

It means to care about somebody else's well-being.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:38:32 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 7:02:41 AM, Hoppi wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?

I don't know what that is.

Soulmates refer to people who are "meant" or "destined" to be together, or people who are so right for each other that they would be incomplete without one another. People sometimes say we each have one.

Love at first sight?

yes

Opposites attract?

yes sometimes

Love is the strongest emotion?

yes

Love is just chemical reactions?

Everything is just chemical reactions

If you love someone, let them go?

not as if you get a choice anyway

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I think that the idea of individualism is totally wrong. We are not individuals. We can't survive alone and we don't operate alone. We operate and survive in groups. Love is the subjective experience of normal interpersonal functioning.

Interesting. Would you say that love for one another is/should be a default state?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
3/16/2016 1:44:05 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/15/2016 7:05:21 AM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 3/15/2016 4:12:20 AM, Maikuru wrote:
What do you think about love concepts like:

Soulmates?
Love at first sight?
Opposites attract?
Love is the strongest emotion?
Love is just chemical reactions?
If you love someone, let them go?

and stuff like that. What does love mean to you?

I've never "loved" anyone (outside of parents, family members, etc) so I don't have a very informed perspective of this. As far as "opposites attract," depends on what you mean by opposite. Opposite political views? Opposite ends of the wealth spectrum? It seems most people find others who have common interests, and of similar social & financial status. I agree with Buddamoose that attraction at first sight is possible but not love at first sight.

I think "opposites attract" has two parts as to its meaning. First, I think it is often used as a post hoc explanation for interesting or unusual divergences in opinions or beliefs between partners. For example, I once dated a highly Christian girl. I am an atheist. Did opposites attract? No, because I didn't know her religious affiliation until after I was interested in her, which itself was initiated by physical attraction. Even had I known the truth, it wouldn't have mattered so much anyway because I'm not drawn to or repelled from religious affiliation in that way (or at least I wasn't then).

Second, and this is the part that might have some truth to it, as the natural human compulsion to explore and experience the unknown, especially in terms of the taboo. If you subscribe strongly to a position, you may have difficulty understanding why someone would think otherwise. As such, you may be drawn to someone different from you in some salient category. Similarly, if some experience has been forbidden or unavailable to you, you may naturally be drawn to someone who has had those experiences. I don't think such things make for lasting love or relationships, though. It's more like fulfilling a question we had about ourselves or others.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...