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Fake People.

Rosalie
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3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Rosalie
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3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
Jeholopterus
Posts: 57
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3/17/2016 2:34:44 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

If you are talking about your mom, I don't thinks it's true that they doesn't care about you. Why? Because science.
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,325
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3/17/2016 2:43:32 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:

I'm actually not real. I'm just an Airmax multi.
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"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
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Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 2:47:10 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

These people are toxic people. They do not fully comprehend that interactions between two people are a two way street, a give and take. They will take help or other things gladly, but when it comes time to help or give, they are nowhere to be found. There are alot of them, and it's unavoidable that one will encounter them.

Now, you've asked something similar. And I'll give the same advice. Toxic people neither should nor deserve a place in the life of a good person. If you find out a person is toxic, the best thing to do is cut them out, regardless of who they are.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 2:47:10 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

These people are toxic people. They do not fully comprehend that interactions between two people are a two way street, a give and take. They will take help or other things gladly, but when it comes time to help or give, they are nowhere to be found. There are alot of them, and it's unavoidable that one will encounter them.

Now, you've asked something similar. And I'll give the same advice. Toxic people neither should nor deserve a place in the life of a good person. If you find out a person is toxic, the best thing to do is cut them out, regardless of who they are.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 2:49:09 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

Well she's your mom. She can't be a friend, because she's a relative.

Now, I know you may not want this answer, and I hate to be the one to give that answer, but...no, don't break ties with her. What you should do is the OTHER thing you don't want to do, which is be the exact opposite of a fake friend. Be a good friend. Don't go over the top helping her, or lending her stuff, or doing stuff that's only gonna help her because she wants to be deceptive. Just be there, or be the better "friend". Maybe, just maybe, if you do help her out a lot as the better friend (and in the good way, not the "oh, she'll do what I say, so I'll tell her to lend me $60", or the "Let's take advantage of her"), then one day, when you're not there, and she needs help, she'll realize that or something...and she might

MIGHT

regret being that fake friend...

Or you could just slap her and put her in her place.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 2:51:51 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:49:09 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

Well she's your mom. She can't be a friend, because she's a relative.

Now, I know you may not want this answer, and I hate to be the one to give that answer, but...no, don't break ties with her. What you should do is the OTHER thing you don't want to do, which is be the exact opposite of a fake friend. Be a good friend. Don't go over the top helping her, or lending her stuff, or doing stuff that's only gonna help her because she wants to be deceptive. Just be there, or be the better "friend". Maybe, just maybe, if you do help her out a lot as the better friend (and in the good way, not the "oh, she'll do what I say, so I'll tell her to lend me $60", or the "Let's take advantage of her"), then one day, when you're not there, and she needs help, she'll realize that or something...and she might

MIGHT

regret being that fake friend...


Or you could just slap her and put her in her place.

So basically, respond to a fake person, by being fake oneself? Yes, because that doesn't just make one exactly the same as the other...
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 2:59:13 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:51:51 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:49:09 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

Well she's your mom. She can't be a friend, because she's a relative.

Now, I know you may not want this answer, and I hate to be the one to give that answer, but...no, don't break ties with her. What you should do is the OTHER thing you don't want to do, which is be the exact opposite of a fake friend. Be a good friend. Don't go over the top helping her, or lending her stuff, or doing stuff that's only gonna help her because she wants to be deceptive. Just be there, or be the better "friend". Maybe, just maybe, if you do help her out a lot as the better friend (and in the good way, not the "oh, she'll do what I say, so I'll tell her to lend me $60", or the "Let's take advantage of her"), then one day, when you're not there, and she needs help, she'll realize that or something...and she might

MIGHT

regret being that fake friend...


Or you could just slap her and put her in her place.

So basically, respond to a fake person, by being fake oneself? Yes, because that doesn't just make one exactly the same as the other...

Yeah, I worded that badly.

Even if they are a fake friend, still be a good friend. There's a chance that someday they'll recognize that you've been a good friend to them, even after having to put up with all their sh!t, and may end up striving for an actual friendship.

I think that better explains my point.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Rosalie
Posts: 4,628
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3/17/2016 3:00:55 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:49:09 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

Well she's your mom. She can't be a friend, because she's a relative.

Now, I know you may not want this answer, and I hate to be the one to give that answer, but...no, don't break ties with her. What you should do is the OTHER thing you don't want to do, which is be the exact opposite of a fake friend. Be a good friend. Don't go over the top helping her, or lending her stuff, or doing stuff that's only gonna help her because she wants to be deceptive. Just be there, or be the better "friend". Maybe, just maybe, if you do help her out a lot as the better friend (and in the good way, not the "oh, she'll do what I say, so I'll tell her to lend me $60", or the "Let's take advantage of her"), then one day, when you're not there, and she needs help, she'll realize that or something...and she might

MIGHT

regret being that fake friend...


Or you could just slap her and put her in her place.

My mom had a miscarriage before I was born...and she said "sometimes I wish you were that miscarriage"
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 3:03:39 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:00:55 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:49:09 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

Well she's your mom. She can't be a friend, because she's a relative.

Now, I know you may not want this answer, and I hate to be the one to give that answer, but...no, don't break ties with her. What you should do is the OTHER thing you don't want to do, which is be the exact opposite of a fake friend. Be a good friend. Don't go over the top helping her, or lending her stuff, or doing stuff that's only gonna help her because she wants to be deceptive. Just be there, or be the better "friend". Maybe, just maybe, if you do help her out a lot as the better friend (and in the good way, not the "oh, she'll do what I say, so I'll tell her to lend me $60", or the "Let's take advantage of her"), then one day, when you're not there, and she needs help, she'll realize that or something...and she might

MIGHT

regret being that fake friend...


Or you could just slap her and put her in her place.

My mom had a miscarriage before I was born...and she said "sometimes I wish you were that miscarriage"

Okay, now she's just a bad person. I'd even suggest distancing yourself from her at this point. That's not even fake friending at this point. it's just straight up @ssholery.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 3:04:19 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:59:13 AM, Vaarka wrote:

Yeah, I worded that badly.

Even if they are a fake friend, still be a good friend. There's a chance that someday they'll recognize that you've been a good friend to them, even after having to put up with all their sh!t, and may end up striving for an actual friendship.

I think that better explains my point.

To which I'll ask, why would one want to be friends with that person anyways?

I'll note, not being friends, or someone being a fake or toxic person, is not free license to be a d!ck to someone. Being the better person isn't acting like a friend. It's still acting without hostility and couth towards those who don't otherwise deserve it.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 3:06:20 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:04:19 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:59:13 AM, Vaarka wrote:

Yeah, I worded that badly.

Even if they are a fake friend, still be a good friend. There's a chance that someday they'll recognize that you've been a good friend to them, even after having to put up with all their sh!t, and may end up striving for an actual friendship.

I think that better explains my point.

To which I'll ask, why would one want to be friends with that person anyways?

I'll note, not being friends, or someone being a fake or toxic person, is not free license to be a d!ck to someone. Being the better person isn't acting like a friend. It's still acting without hostility and couth towards those who don't otherwise deserve it.

I guess :/

Anyway, I'm off for the night. This little Vaarka is getting droopy eyed.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 3:07:47 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:00:55 AM, Rosalie wrote:

My mom had a miscarriage before I was born...and she said "sometimes I wish you were that miscarriage"

Wow, I can empathize with being told something similar to that. It hits like a punch to the chest. Like, an aching hurt, but one wasn't touched at all...

again, toxic, cut out. Knowing this now, you should especially because hearing that kind of stuff from a parent fvcks with the head majorly.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 3:10:26 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:04:19 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:59:13 AM, Vaarka wrote:

Yeah, I worded that badly.

Even if they are a fake friend, still be a good friend. There's a chance that someday they'll recognize that you've been a good friend to them, even after having to put up with all their sh!t, and may end up striving for an actual friendship.

I think that better explains my point.

To which I'll ask, why would one want to be friends with that person anyways?

I'll note, not being friends, or someone being a fake or toxic person, is not free license to be a d!ck to someone. Being the better person isn't acting like a friend. It's still acting without hostility and couth towards those who don't otherwise deserve it.

That's the entire point of it, actually. They don't deserve it. Sure, if they continue to be a d!ck, then you can forget about them. But if you at least try and stay friends, or at least give people second chances, there's a chance this person will realize how much of a d!ck they were, and want to repair some of what they've done. If that happens, and you're there still, or at least willing to give them a second chance, then a real friendship could be possible from it afterwards.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Vaarka
Posts: 7,655
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3/17/2016 3:11:58 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:07:47 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/17/2016 3:00:55 AM, Rosalie wrote:

My mom had a miscarriage before I was born...and she said "sometimes I wish you were that miscarriage"

Wow, I can empathize with being told something similar to that. It hits like a punch to the chest. Like, an aching hurt, but one wasn't touched at all...

again, toxic, cut out. Knowing this now, you should especially because hearing that kind of stuff from a parent fvcks with the head majorly.

^ at this point, you really should just distance yourself from her, at least for a while.
I honestly could never imagine saying such a thing to someone. I seriously wonder how some people just casually do it...
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Briannj17
Posts: 360
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3/17/2016 3:14:46 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:00:55 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:49:09 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:24:08 AM, Rosalie wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:16:32 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

Oh, those people? They pretend to be your friend for certain goals that pertain to themselves usually. You should just consider them an acquaintance at this point, or @ssholes. Whichever one sounds right to you.

Its hard when your mom is one of those people..

Well she's your mom. She can't be a friend, because she's a relative.

Now, I know you may not want this answer, and I hate to be the one to give that answer, but...no, don't break ties with her. What you should do is the OTHER thing you don't want to do, which is be the exact opposite of a fake friend. Be a good friend. Don't go over the top helping her, or lending her stuff, or doing stuff that's only gonna help her because she wants to be deceptive. Just be there, or be the better "friend". Maybe, just maybe, if you do help her out a lot as the better friend (and in the good way, not the "oh, she'll do what I say, so I'll tell her to lend me $60", or the "Let's take advantage of her"), then one day, when you're not there, and she needs help, she'll realize that or something...and she might

MIGHT

regret being that fake friend...


Or you could just slap her and put her in her place.

My mom had a miscarriage before I was born...and she said "sometimes I wish you were that miscarriage"

Why would she say that? When did she say that? It kind of matters and depending on how stressed or tense the two of you were at the time would show if she really meant it or was just trying to release rage by releasing her stress on you. I haven't been here really long enough nor do I have very much experience in this sort of thing to tell you what to do, but I believe this would help us to understand the situation better and give a better response on how to handle it.
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Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 3:29:12 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:14:46 AM, Briannj17 wrote:

Why would she say that? When did she say that? It kind of matters and depending on how stressed or tense the two of you were at the time would show if she really meant it or was just trying to release rage by releasing her stress on you.

What... there are absolutely no excuses, nothing that could justify or alleviate the negative judgement that should come from saying that. Especially from a parent to their child. Idk about you, but I've never in my life dreamt of saying, nor would I ever say, that I wish a person weren't alive, or something similar to what was said in this situation.

I've had something said similarly to me by my mother, once when I was younger, once as a teen, that sh!t fucks with your head for years, and even today, years afterwards, it still does, among other things.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 3:30:57 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 3:11:58 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 3/17/2016 3:07:47 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/17/2016 3:00:55 AM, Rosalie wrote:

My mom had a miscarriage before I was born...and she said "sometimes I wish you were that miscarriage"

Wow, I can empathize with being told something similar to that. It hits like a punch to the chest. Like, an aching hurt, but one wasn't touched at all...

again, toxic, cut out. Knowing this now, you should especially because hearing that kind of stuff from a parent fvcks with the head majorly.

^ at this point, you really should just distance yourself from her, at least for a while.
I honestly could never imagine saying such a thing to someone. I seriously wonder how some people just casually do it...

Easy, you just don't develop strong connections with people unless you REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY feel you can trust them. So when the inevitable time comes that you either grow apart, or are forced to cut them out, it doesn't hurt as much.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,450
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3/17/2016 3:31:57 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
OK so maybe it's not very easy, it actually has to be actively sought after to accomplish it. But it certainly does make life a whole lot less painful.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
vortex86
Posts: 572
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3/17/2016 10:05:34 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

I'd say you deal with them the same way you deal with other people, no reason to treat them any differently. Realize the relationship will be mostly one sided and since it's your mother appreciate every moment with her because she'll not always be around. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and each connection we make shapes us and becomes a part of our identity. Focusing on the negatives will only leave you jaded and you'll associate the moments you do have less. I'm sorry you have this experience, know you're a stronger person having been through it.
inferno
Posts: 10,689
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3/17/2016 4:45:36 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

There are genuine people all over this world. Its about how you can identify someone or something that is of substance and has good intent.
inferno
Posts: 10,689
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3/17/2016 4:45:48 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

There are genuine people all over this world. Its about how you can identify someone or something that is of substance and has good intent.
sadolite
Posts: 8,842
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3/17/2016 9:29:02 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
How do you deal with them? I don't, problem solved.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Emmarie
Posts: 1,907
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3/18/2016 8:43:38 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
In response to your post - people will let you down, don't let fake people make you feel less of yourself ;)

excuse me for posting this here - I needed a better link than where I previously posted this. It does apply to your post to a degree, since it is about me "keeping it real" on this site.

I hate race, and the way it is both perceived and how it influences treatment. I wish our country could be more like Brazil, where cross-culturalism is the norm, because the majority of people are mixed there.

I consider myself to be OFF-WHITE and this is why!

When I was a kid, I had blonde scraggly hair, and honey colored skin. I grew up in a neighborhood, Sherman Park, in Milwaukee, that was one of the only racially integrated neighborhoods in the 70's and 80's. I am mostly European, but my mom is mixed with Native American and my Dad looks like Gandhi (family claims polish though lol). My natural skin color is olive. I am caramel during the summer, and have always loved my complexion. I have 2 sons even more mixed than I am, one with added Mexican and one with added Black. We are a tri-racial family, who has been able to view racism form a unique perspective. I took African Dance and Capoiera, when I was a kid, and found more acceptance with black kids than with white kids, so I gravitated toward those cultural norms. White kids were mean and said I always looked dirty because my skin is golden, even in the winter, and caramel in the summer.

When I hit puberty, I blossomed from a skinny, scraggly headed blonde, to a voluptuous golden brunette. White guys paid alotta attention to me when I was in high-school, and I dated both white, and black guys during this time frame. It wasn't till I was 20 that I realized that I was only a "trophy" to most white guys. so after I got pregnant with my first son, with a 1/2 mexican, 1/2 caucasian young man -(same complexion as me), I immersed myself in the culture of my neighborhood of other single moms, and ignored mainstream culture. I had another son, 3 years later with a black man. My oldest son is blonde, with lighter skin (butterscotch) than either me or his dad, and my youngest son has caramel bright skin, with dark. auburn hair.

By this time Sherman Park was around 85% black, and the community embraced us as a mixed family.

When AFDC was changed to Welfare reform under the Clinton administration, I found myself, like so many other single moms were during this time, being taken advantage of by men who wanted to use women due to our lack of financial independence. A stalker disrupted our lives, until I agreed in 2004, to move to Northern WI, with my mom, who is from that area. I moved since my sons and I had always lived with me and her and didn't wanna split up our family. My mom wanted to live closer to extended family after she retired.

My youngest son was held back in 3rd grade, after we moved, and I think it was because they didn't want him in the middle school at the same time as his blonde brother, since other students would have asked questions about why they looked so different. When we were at parks, kids would ask them if they were adopted when they'd both call me mom. I tried to fight for my son to not be held back and the school wouldn't, so I home schooled him until he went to high school.

The high school was actually very progressive, and he loved discussing current events and history in class. He was treated respectfully by teachers and peers, because he offered an alternative perspective and expressed himself with integrity.

I still haven't adjusted or clicked here, but being immersed in working class white America, has given me a unique perspective of how white people oppress one another based on class. The working white people I have observed, try to suck up to their oppressors, and I'm still hoping that they will realize that they too are victims of the same oppressive system, that causes Black Lives Matter to exercise first amendment rights. I am very unpopular in this community, cuz I always try to get co-workers to stop blaming other races for their own inability to stand up to the oppressor.

I'm a believer in the Gospel, and Thank God that I accepted Jesus in a Gospel tent at Sherman park, where I was in a community that taught me about love. I'm am a believer in Reverend Jeremiah Wright's liberation theology, and also Dr. MLK.

Rachael Dolezar was off white and obtained a position of power. I continue to be OFF-WHITE in a white working class small city, where people don't consider me white, nor do I ever claim to be any race. When people ask me "what" I am I simply say OFF-WHITE. I'm sure if I wanted to stay out of the sun, and style my hair more like white women I'd get more privileges, but it would deny the cultural influence that growing up in Sherman Park has had on me.

Growing up and partially raising sons (until they were 11 and 8) in a community where I was a minority within a minority - is a major part of who I am. It was there that I learned how to love my neighbor as myself! It was there that I learned how to apply rhythm and breathing to any physical task! It was there that people accepted me for the content of my character and didn't judge me for my failed relationships with men, or my decision to have sons instead of abortions, something that I HAVE faced in the small city I live in currently. I'm still a minority within a greater majority of both cultures, especially now that I'm removed from a community that accepted me and my sons.

There seems to be a BLACK-LASH against people like me. Their reasoning is that I could have white privilege if I wanted to, they couldn't. My youngest son and I often discuss this topic, and I get it, because he agrees. My question is, why Would I want to deny a part of what makes me - me? For more economic possibilities? No, I'd rather continue to make do with less and work side by side with workers who work harder not smarter, and show them that I produce more than they do without straining because of what I learned in the community that I'm FROM!

I apologize for the long post, but I felt it was necessary to keep it real.
Valkrin
Posts: 2,046
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3/18/2016 12:46:14 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 3/17/2016 2:02:46 AM, Rosalie wrote:
How do you deal with them?

I'm sure we all have had one of those friends, who pretends to care about you, and pretends to love you, and in the end, In your worst times, they could give less of a sh*t about you..

I "deal" with them by making sure I find out who they are and distancing myself from them before it ever reaches the time where I need to rely on them.
I only have 1 good friend anyways. The rest I just consider people I hang out with. Though I might have found some more good friends. IDK yet. I have a hard time trusting people anyways, which is both a good and bad thing.

But to answer the question, I just make sure I know who they are and not to trust them for stuff like that, even if we might still hang out.
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." - Vaarka