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Self-Confidence.

Rosalie
Posts: 4,612
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4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
XLAV
Posts: 13,715
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4/12/2016 4:20:22 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

Before I used to think I'm not handsome, but a lot of people say I am. Though I'm not really sure if this affects your self-confidence in anyway , because I now see myself as handsome but my self-confidence remains unchanged.
Rosalie
Posts: 4,612
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4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,621
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4/12/2016 4:53:31 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..
I think you look pretty :3

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

I think some people do that simply because when they meet someone who speaks negatively like that, they assume they're an attention seeker who's just looking for compliments, and don't want to deal with it.
Of course, don't take my word for this, because I could be very wrong.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Rosalie
Posts: 4,612
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4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Rosalie
Posts: 4,612
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4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,621
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4/12/2016 5:18:12 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?

It's the internet. Sarcasm is hard to detect in this realm.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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4/12/2016 5:25:27 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:18:12 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?

It's the internet. Sarcasm is hard to detect in this realm.

It's really not that hard given the context.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,621
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4/12/2016 5:27:07 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:25:27 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:18:12 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?

It's the internet. Sarcasm is hard to detect in this realm.

It's really not that hard given the context.

I could tell it was sarcasm, but still, it's not always that recognizable.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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4/12/2016 5:30:25 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:27:07 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:25:27 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:18:12 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?

It's the internet. Sarcasm is hard to detect in this realm.

It's really not that hard given the context.

I could tell it was sarcasm, but still, it's not always that recognizable.

She knows me better than you do, so if you could tell, she could tell.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Blade-of-Truth
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4/12/2016 5:34:49 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If you love yourself, then you've accepted yourself fully, including your flaws. So I think you still have some things to accomplish in terms of loving yourself.

Everyone has unique life experiences though, and for me, my self-confidence stemmed from the compliments I've received throughout my life either for my looks or my personality. I started accepting that I really am attractive or a great guy, just as I've been told by multiple people. Again, the key is acceptance of your self.

In regards to loving myself, I was a serial dater. From the 1st grade on-wards, I always had girlfriends. I dated almost every attractive girl at my private elemetary and middle school, and continued the trend of always dating someone up until my sophomore year of college. It wasn't until then that I realized the error of my ways in regards to being dependent on others for validation, happiness, or contentment. I stopped dating altogether and started spending time with my self, my own thoughts, and my own feelings of aloneness.

After a while, I began to accept that I was truly alone in this world. I was born alone, and I will die alone. That isn't to say I won't have a wife or kids by my side when I die, but no-one else will be experiencing the phenomenon of death in the exact same way as myself when I die, I'll be entering the unknown all alone. That's what I mean by aloneness. After *accepting* these things, I started learning how to love myself since I'm the only thing I've got.

It's a long process though, and you're bound to face some inner-demons that you've suppressed over the years. There won't be anyone there to distract you from these thoughts or feelings, so you'll be forced to face them head on. If you can overcome your own inner demons though, you'll have taken the first step to learning how to love thyself, and from there - your self confidence will begin to take shape from the love you have for yourself.
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TheFlex
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4/12/2016 5:34:55 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

Confidence is necessary and there's different levels to it. Having confidence is never an issue unless you become cocky. I haven't seen that as a fine line between the two either. I can easily distinguish a confident person from a cocky person.

Confidence is key. Not just in how you perceive your looks in society but in so many other aspects in life. Confidence is extremely important professionally, socially, and even for credibility. Confidence can land you that job interview, make you appear like the subject matter expert, or be the life of the party. It certainly helps to have a lot of confidence because it's a ridiculously good supplement to strong personality/intellectual traits.

Personally, on the looks side, I'm confident enough in my looks that it doesn't affect me regardless of how people think I look. I've been told I'm ugly, I've been told I'm beautiful. At the end of the day, it's how confident and comfortable you are in your own skin.
difference
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4/12/2016 5:39:10 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

Do those people think your pretty?

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

I don't think it's necessary to think anything of yourself. I agree that it doesn't matter.
Vaarka
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4/12/2016 6:02:12 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 5:30:25 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:27:07 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:25:27 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:18:12 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?

It's the internet. Sarcasm is hard to detect in this realm.

It's really not that hard given the context.

I could tell it was sarcasm, but still, it's not always that recognizable.

She knows me better than you do, so if you could tell, she could tell.

Not always. Sometimes even my closest friends have sent something sarcastic that I thought was serious.
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RyuuKyuzo
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4/12/2016 6:08:05 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 6:02:12 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:30:25 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:27:07 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:25:27 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:18:12 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:06:52 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:05:33 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 5:02:28 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:56:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:33:15 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:23:39 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 4/12/2016 4:19:49 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

If Arnold Schwarzenegger told you he felt small, would that astonish you? At the very least, it's concerning.

It's subjective. A women could be named the prettiest girl in the universe, and she could still not think she is pretty

I don't think it's right to break up with someone over their insecurities, especially if they trust you enough to open up about them. That's almost monstrous.

I don't know if it's necessary to find yourself attractive, but I don't think I'd be happy in my life if I didn't think I was. Maybe that's arrogant, but I honestly couldn't care less if other people find me arrogant.

Finally, I'm not sure you can really love yourself if you don't love your body. The two seem to go hand-in-hand.

not true. I can love my personality. I've been told, in very caring, genuine and sweet, and I do believe myself to be that way...and I lobe who I am. I just don't think I'm pretty. I don't need to be pretty to have a great personality.

I know it's subjective, that's what I'm saying. If the literal prettiest woman in the world still felt ugly, that's concerning.

So...you're saying that we should only feel pretty if society thinks we are?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying, obviously.

Wow.

Alright guys, and women. You're not allowed to feel pretty, unless society think you're pretty. You must meet their standards

How did you not pick up the sarcasm in that post?

It's the internet. Sarcasm is hard to detect in this realm.

It's really not that hard given the context.

I could tell it was sarcasm, but still, it's not always that recognizable.

She knows me better than you do, so if you could tell, she could tell.

Not always. Sometimes even my closest friends have sent something sarcastic that I thought was serious.

She's a smart girl, if it wasn't obvious to her at first I'm sure it is now.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
lamerde
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4/12/2016 6:43:06 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

I understand that it sounds like you're fishing for compliments (because you are pretty) but I also understand what it's like to not feel pretty even with everyone telling you that you are.

I had a similar thought process to you a while back... where I questioned the assumption that a person must feel pretty or beautiful, and that this was good. Not everyone is attractive and that is just a fact. The issue is that society places a value on attractiveness, so we can't just say something is unattractive - it's something (or someone) is unattractive and that's bad.

It's just statistically impossible for all of us to be above average in attractiveness. So I agree with you insofar as the assumption that we all must feel beautiful is misguided... but I obviously disagree with you when you say you're not pretty.

Re: the guys you date, perhaps it has something to do with taking a compliment. If a guy tells you you're pretty, do you say he's wrong or challenge that? I've learned to just say "thank you" and keep it moving. Even when I want to be like: http://tinyurl.com...
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4/12/2016 6:47:22 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 6:43:06 PM, lamerde wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

I understand that it sounds like you're fishing for compliments (because you are pretty) but I also understand what it's like to not feel pretty even with everyone telling you that you are.

I had a similar thought process to you a while back... where I questioned the assumption that a person must feel pretty or beautiful, and that this was good. Not everyone is attractive and that is just a fact. The issue is that society places a value on attractiveness, so we can't just say something is unattractive - it's something (or someone) is unattractive and that's bad.

It's just statistically impossible for all of us to be above average in attractiveness. So I agree with you insofar as the assumption that we all must feel beautiful is misguided... but I obviously disagree with you when you say you're not pretty.

Re: the guys you date, perhaps it has something to do with taking a compliment. If a guy tells you you're pretty, do you say he's wrong or challenge that? I've learned to just say "thank you" and keep it moving. Even when I want to be like: http://tinyurl.com...

I understand. But, it's annoying when you don't agree with the person espexially if they start saying "what is wrong with you? You don't think think you're pretty? Wow. That is unhealthy. You must feel miserable. Do you have depression?"
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RyuuKyuzo
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4/12/2016 7:10:50 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/12/2016 6:43:06 PM, lamerde wrote:
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

I understand that it sounds like you're fishing for compliments (because you are pretty) but I also understand what it's like to not feel pretty even with everyone telling you that you are.

I had a similar thought process to you a while back... where I questioned the assumption that a person must feel pretty or beautiful, and that this was good. Not everyone is attractive and that is just a fact. The issue is that society places a value on attractiveness, so we can't just say something is unattractive - it's something (or someone) is unattractive and that's bad.

It's just statistically impossible for all of us to be above average in attractiveness. So I agree with you insofar as the assumption that we all must feel beautiful is misguided... but I obviously disagree with you when you say you're not pretty.

Re: the guys you date, perhaps it has something to do with taking a compliment. If a guy tells you you're pretty, do you say he's wrong or challenge that? I've learned to just say "thank you" and keep it moving. Even when I want to be like: http://tinyurl.com...

I don't see attractiveness as being a zero-sum relative scale. I know when I walk into a room full of 9's, my brain doesn't re-calibrate its standards so that the girl who is only an 8.9 suddenly looks like a 4 to me. So at least theoretically, it's possible for everyone to be incredibly attractive, simultaneously.

Obviously that's not how it worked out in real life, because there are genuinely ugly people, but even for these people I don't think it's beneficial to frame their attractiveness in terms of averages.
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PetersSmith
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4/12/2016 8:16:54 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

I think it's extremely common for people to not have a lot of self-confidence, especially women. Low self-confidence is not a mental illness (although it's a symptom of some). There is no such thing as perfect. You're beautiful as you are, and embrace all of your imperfections (so long as they don't impair your functioning, harm others, and/or harm yourself) so they don't hold you back. As for arrogance, I think there's always "too far" and it's pretty noticeable when it reaches that point.
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Briannj17
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4/12/2016 8:33:35 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 3:39:16 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If you know me, you will know that I don't think I'm attractive, or pretty at all, and when I tell people that, they are astonished. They act as if it is some mental-ilness, and that I have a problem, or maybe I am depressed. Or they say, "I feel bad for you" because I don't think I'm pretty..

I have dated guys before, who have found out about my insecurities, then have broken up with me.

Is it necessary to think you're pretty/handsome? Do you think that's arrogant? It shouldn't matter, as long as you love yourself..

It's not necessary to think your pretty or handsome but I find it necessary just to be yourself. Some people have low self esteem even though they are so pretty, some people think of themselves as the cat's meow even though they aren't pretty, really I find myself to be just below average for looks and that's fine with me. As long as I take care of myself: shower often, brush my teeth, brush my hair, shine my shoes (lol) it's all good. Your attractive btw.

I think it is arrogant for people to make others insecure about their looks. Like intentionally showing off (flaunting) and portraying to the world that because they are prettier or handsomer they think they are better. What really counts is what you said. As long as you treat yourself right you shouldn't worry what others think of how you look.
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lamerde
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4/12/2016 10:11:07 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 7:10:50 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

I don't see attractiveness as being a zero-sum relative scale. I know when I walk into a room full of 9's, my brain doesn't re-calibrate its standards so that the girl who is only an 8.9 suddenly looks like a 4 to me. So at least theoretically, it's possible for everyone to be incredibly attractive, simultaneously.

A sample =/= the population. If you took the population and assigned a number to every single person, you will have an average score. By definition, some people will have to be below average.

Obviously that's not how it worked out in real life, because there are genuinely ugly people, but even for these people I don't think it's beneficial to frame their attractiveness in terms of averages.

Why not? Attractiveness is pretty comparative. You could be the cream of the crop where you live and feel like crap when surrounded by more attractive people in a new place. In the same way, a person who others find attractive may feel unattractive because they are surrounded by (and therefore, comparing themselves to) other people they find more attractive.
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4/12/2016 10:29:16 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 10:11:07 PM, lamerde wrote:
At 4/12/2016 7:10:50 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

I don't see attractiveness as being a zero-sum relative scale. I know when I walk into a room full of 9's, my brain doesn't re-calibrate its standards so that the girl who is only an 8.9 suddenly looks like a 4 to me. So at least theoretically, it's possible for everyone to be incredibly attractive, simultaneously.

A sample =/= the population. If you took the population and assigned a number to every single person, you will have an average score. By definition, some people will have to be below average.

Obviously that's not how it worked out in real life, because there are genuinely ugly people, but even for these people I don't think it's beneficial to frame their attractiveness in terms of averages.

Why not? Attractiveness is pretty comparative. You could be the cream of the crop where you live and feel like crap when surrounded by more attractive people in a new place. In the same way, a person who others find attractive may feel unattractive because they are surrounded by (and therefore, comparing themselves to) other people they find more attractive.

I don't think you got my meaning here. I'm saying there's an objective threshold (or at the very least an inter-subjective consensus) defining who is and is not attractive. You can make it comparative, but there's no need to and it's less mentally healthy to define your own sense of attractiveness based on where you stand on an average, because you could end up with a situation like you suggested, where you're only contextually attractive depending on how ugly everyone around you is.

Imo, very few people are actually legitimately ugly. Since this thread is all about being misjudged based on your own self-perception, allow me to get a little personal here. A lot of people seem to think that, because I have a very high opinion of my own attractiveness, I must think they are, by comparison, ugly. That's complete nonsense; I don't consider these people (or anyone else for that matter) at all when I say something about me being attractive. Now maybe I am more attractive than these people, maybe I'm not, it doesn't matter because "other people" isn't the standard I'm holding myself to, and I don't think anyone else should either.

I don't think people should outsource their self-esteem like that. There's no need to make attractiveness zero-sum, where if someone like me spends 5 years in the gym becoming more attractive, somehow that makes everyone else slightly less attractive because I'm skewing the average. As far as I'm concerned, someone is only ugly if I find myself physically repulsed by them, but if you define attractiveness in terms of averages, the entire "bottom 50%" become the losers of the beauty-world.
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lamerde
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4/12/2016 10:29:20 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 10:11:07 PM, lamerde wrote:

Obviously that's not how it worked out in real life, because there are genuinely ugly people, but even for these people I don't think it's beneficial to frame their attractiveness in terms of averages.

Why not? Attractiveness is pretty comparative. You could be the cream of the crop where you live and feel like crap when surrounded by more attractive people in a new place. In the same way, a person who others find attractive may feel unattractive because they are surrounded by (and therefore, comparing themselves to) other people they find more attractive.

I think I misread this but I answered it with my first point about the population.
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lamerde
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4/12/2016 10:35:40 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 10:29:16 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

I don't think you got my meaning here. I'm saying there's an objective threshold (or at the very least an inter-subjective consensus) defining who is and is not attractive. You can make it comparative, but there's no need to and it's less mentally healthy to define your own sense of attractiveness based on where you stand on an average, because you could end up with a situation like you suggested, where you're only contextually attractive depending on how ugly everyone around you is.

Imo, very few people are actually legitimately ugly. Since this thread is all about being misjudged based on your own self-perception, allow me to get a little personal here. A lot of people seem to think that, because I have a very high opinion of my own attractiveness, I must think they are, by comparison, ugly. That's complete nonsense; I don't consider these people (or anyone else for that matter) at all when I say something about me being attractive. Now maybe I am more attractive than these people, maybe I'm not, it doesn't matter because "other people" isn't the standard I'm holding myself to, and I don't think anyone else should either.

I don't think people should outsource their self-esteem like that. There's no need to make attractiveness zero-sum, where if someone like me spends 5 years in the gym becoming more attractive, somehow that makes everyone else slightly less attractive because I'm skewing the average. As far as I'm concerned, someone is only ugly if I find myself physically repulsed by them, but if you define attractiveness in terms of averages, the entire "bottom 50%" become the losers of the beauty-world.

I don't think I ever said or implied it had to be a normal distribution so I'm not sure of your point.

I mentioned "averages" because we have a bias to think of themselves as more intelligent than average, better than average, etc. It's a statistically impossibility. It's simply false that everyone is attractive. It's subjective of course, but everyone has their own idea of what makes a person more or less attractive.

What makes a person "pretty" if they're average?
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lamerde
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4/12/2016 10:36:20 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/12/2016 10:35:40 PM, lamerde wrote:

I mentioned "averages" because we have a bias to think of ourselves as more intelligent than average, better than average, etc.

Fixed.
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lamerde
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4/12/2016 10:36:47 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
Sigh. So many typos. You get the point.
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