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Cheating in relationships

TUF
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4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
lamerde
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4/27/2016 2:49:04 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

http://tinyurl.com...

The first few songs on Beyonce's Lemonade pretty much summarize how I feel about cheating. I don't forgive cheating. Ever.
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Maikuru
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4/27/2016 2:49:07 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
My cheating mantra is pretty simple: if you wouldn't do something in front of your partner, you shouldn't do it behind their back.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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TUF
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4/27/2016 3:46:02 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:49:04 PM, lamerde wrote:
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

http://tinyurl.com...

The first few songs on Beyonce's Lemonade pretty much summarize how I feel about cheating. I don't forgive cheating. Ever.

Lol I've been seeing that song on CNN. I guess there are rumors Jay Z cheated on her? Honestly I was surprised she settled for him in the first place.
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
TUF
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4/27/2016 3:46:53 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:49:07 PM, Maikuru wrote:
My cheating mantra is pretty simple: if you wouldn't do something in front of your partner, you shouldn't do it behind their back.

So your a one shot and your done type of guy too?
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
Maikuru
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4/27/2016 3:49:21 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 3:46:53 PM, TUF wrote:
At 4/27/2016 2:49:07 PM, Maikuru wrote:
My cheating mantra is pretty simple: if you wouldn't do something in front of your partner, you shouldn't do it behind their back.

So your a one shot and your done type of guy too?

Not necessarily. I would have to see how I feel in the moment. A lot of relationships survive cheating, and a lot don't. It depends on the circumstances.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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Geogeer
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4/27/2016 3:55:29 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

To be honest, I cannot even really conceive of cheating occurring. So far from my reality that it seems like nothing more than a story line.
PetersSmith
Posts: 6,894
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4/27/2016 4:14:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

The relationship they have is completely unacceptable and is a recipe for disaster. Cheating, in general, especially if sexual is an automatic breakup.
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lamerde
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4/27/2016 4:16:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 3:46:02 PM, TUF wrote:

Lol I've been seeing that song on CNN. I guess there are rumors Jay Z cheated on her? Honestly I was surprised she settled for him in the first place.

Yeah... basically the entire album takes you through Beyonce's emotions regarding the situation. It starts with anger and other emotions I can't remember right now, but basically a "fvck you" attitude to the guy. It ends with her forgiving him and mending their relationship. I stop at "fvck you."

Maybe it's different when you have a child with someone, I don't know. I tried to forgive someone once after cheating because he had mental health issues. But I just fell completely out of love with him because I knew I could do better.
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Subutai
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4/27/2016 4:33:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Takng one course of action in the face of any moral shortfall without regard to context is never a good decision.
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Dragon_of_Christ
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4/27/2016 4:48:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
How i would deal with it:

Don't apologize, i don't want to hear
it because i have already forgiven you.

There was also probably some reason.

I am not fulfulling your every need.

Goodbye, you aren't going to have me if
that isn't so, i am not the right one for you.
Jesus loves you.

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ESocialBookworm
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4/27/2016 5:01:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I'd be upset if I were cheated on. I think communication is key. I'd find out why they cheated and if how they feel about the person they cheated on me with.

I'm a pretty cynical person about love, so I highly doubt I'd stay with them.

If they have a somewhat reasonable reason for cheating on me, I'd forgive them probably.
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Dragon_of_Christ
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4/27/2016 5:12:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:01:36 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
It's just about the worst thing you can do to a person.

Me?
Jesus loves you.

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RyuuKyuzo
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4/27/2016 5:19:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:12:03 PM, Dragon_of_Christ wrote:
At 4/27/2016 5:01:36 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
It's just about the worst thing you can do to a person.

Me?

Why would you think I'm talking about you?
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Vaarka
Posts: 10,221
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4/27/2016 5:21:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

I'm a person who's willing to forgive and lend out a second chance, depending on what happened I guess.

First off, it needs to actually be cheating. If I have a girlfriend, and I'm talking to another girl about something, that's not cheating. I don't know the concrete definition of cheating, but I believe it to be when at least one person in the relationship has decided to not only date the other person in the relationship, but date another person at the same time, without their knowledge (or maybe one's knowledge). AKA, being unfaithful.

So, if someone truly cheats on me, I am going to probably break up, or call it off, depending especially on how far into the relationship we are. Afterwards, I will be much more reluctant to talk with them, especially if they don't seem to have too much of a problem with it. However, I am a guy who gives second chances. If, over time, they seem to honestly regret their decisions, and all that other crap, I might be more forgiving. However, if I do give them a second chance, and it happens again, then it's over.

At least, that's what I think I'd do. I haven't really experienced being cheated on, so I can't give an accurate answer to what I'd do.

Also, don't cheat. That's just stupid.
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famousdebater
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4/27/2016 5:22:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:01:03 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
If they have a somewhat reasonable reason for cheating on me, I'd forgive them probably.

Could you give me an example of what you consider to be a "reasonable reason"?
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
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Dragon_of_Christ
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4/27/2016 5:26:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:19:26 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/27/2016 5:12:03 PM, Dragon_of_Christ wrote:
At 4/27/2016 5:01:36 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
It's just about the worst thing you can do to a person.

Me?

Why would you think I'm talking about you?

It sounds cruel and harsh, too fast of an end.
Jesus loves you.

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TUF
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4/27/2016 5:39:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 4:16:39 PM, lamerde wrote:
At 4/27/2016 3:46:02 PM, TUF wrote:

Lol I've been seeing that song on CNN. I guess there are rumors Jay Z cheated on her? Honestly I was surprised she settled for him in the first place.

Yeah... basically the entire album takes you through Beyonce's emotions regarding the situation. It starts with anger and other emotions I can't remember right now, but basically a "fvck you" attitude to the guy. It ends with her forgiving him and mending their relationship. I stop at "fvck you."

Maybe it's different when you have a child with someone, I don't know. I tried to forgive someone once after cheating because he had mental health issues. But I just fell completely out of love with him because I knew I could do better.

Yeah it seems like it would be really hard to look at them the same way and feel the same connection after something like that.
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
TUF
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4/27/2016 5:41:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 3:49:21 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 4/27/2016 3:46:53 PM, TUF wrote:
At 4/27/2016 2:49:07 PM, Maikuru wrote:
My cheating mantra is pretty simple: if you wouldn't do something in front of your partner, you shouldn't do it behind their back.

So your a one shot and your done type of guy too?

Not necessarily. I would have to see how I feel in the moment. A lot of relationships survive cheating, and a lot don't. It depends on the circumstances.

I can agree with that.
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
TUF
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4/27/2016 5:42:50 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 4:14:18 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

The relationship they have is completely unacceptable and is a recipe for disaster. Cheating, in general, especially if sexual is an automatic breakup.

One of the stalwarts too. Promiscuity seems to be a big issue for many people.
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
TUF
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4/27/2016 5:45:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:19:26 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 4/27/2016 5:12:03 PM, Dragon_of_Christ wrote:
At 4/27/2016 5:01:36 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
It's just about the worst thing you can do to a person.

Me?

Why would you think I'm talking about you?

Lmao
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
TUF
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4/27/2016 5:47:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 4:33:34 PM, Subutai wrote:
Takng one course of action in the face of any moral shortfall without regard to context is never a good decision.

This is a good point....
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
Blade-of-Truth
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4/27/2016 5:48:41 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

Lol, one word: Karma.

Sounds like she's finally getting what she deserved after playing you like that with another guy (ironically the same guy now cheating on her).

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

I'm a die-hard stalwart that will break up with the person the instant I've caught wind that they've been unfaithful. No remorse, no forgiveness. You hook up with someone else while we're dating and that's it.

For me, the thing is, there are 3 billion other options - so for her to cheat on me is just silly because it's not like I can't find an equally good, if not better, replacement in due time.

I just have no need to stay with that person and "work" it out when I can get a date an hour later with someone else.
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TUF
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4/27/2016 5:50:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 4:27:24 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If someone were to cheat on me, they wouldn't see the daylight of tomorrow. :)
http://www.nationalindependentparty.ie...
Danielle: I think you're kind of dim and prosaic.
Rosalie
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4/27/2016 5:51:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:50:28 PM, TUF wrote:
At 4/27/2016 4:27:24 PM, Rosalie wrote:
If someone were to cheat on me, they wouldn't see the daylight of tomorrow. :)
http://www.nationalindependentparty.ie...

You know it.

Id cut a bit*h
Omg. Just shut up. -Me
PetersSmith
Posts: 6,894
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4/27/2016 5:51:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:42:50 PM, TUF wrote:
At 4/27/2016 4:14:18 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 4/27/2016 2:45:08 PM, TUF wrote:
So a girl I was dating back in September (we're just friends now) recently got into a relationship with a guy about a month ago. They were apparently dating since October, which is wierd because I was also dating her at that time and she told me she wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment. But we had no chemistry and eventually decided to be friends so whatever, I don't really care.

Anyway they only decided to be a "thing" last month, and now somehow they are already living together, which completely blows my mind, but I didn't pick up that she was the smartest girl from our dates so it's kind of unsurprising at the same time.

Anyway she has been messaging asking me for advice because apparently he's been texting and snap chatting his ex. Upon further inquiry she's also informed me that he's already cheated on her. I am trying wrap my brain around the dynamic of how they are moved in together after only being together for one month and how she forgave him for cheating this early (that's an understatement). I don't understand it.

But anyway it got me thinking about the topic of cheating and how people feel about it.
What's your line with cheating? Does it depend on the relationship, length of time, the person? Or are you a die hard stalwart that will break up with someone the instance it happens, regardless of the context?

The relationship they have is completely unacceptable and is a recipe for disaster. Cheating, in general, especially if sexual is an automatic breakup.

One of the stalwarts too. Promiscuity seems to be a big issue for many people.

They don't love you if they're going to betray you like that.
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4/27/2016 5:52:22 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/27/2016 5:48:41 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
For me, the thing is, there are 3 billion other options - so for her to cheat on me is just silly because it's not like I can't find an equally good, if not better, replacement in due time.

Are you sure "replacement" is the best way to put it?
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
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