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A lover has a lot in common is better?

BearHee
Posts: 18
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5/6/2016 8:25:53 AM
Posted: 7 months ago
If one has two suitors. One suitor has a lot common with her.(for example, they are both scientists) They have similar experience and background, and can understand each other well. They would have little problem to convey their ideas. But another suitor is so different from her, for example he may be a soldier. He is sexy, kind to women, and an emotional guy, and due to their huge difference, he is an interesting mystery to her. But after all, they are so different that it is hard for them to truely understand each other, they will definitely break apart one day. Thus for everyone finding a lover of a lot in common is better.
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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5/6/2016 12:58:25 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 5/6/2016 8:25:53 AM, BearHee wrote:
If one has two suitors. One suitor has a lot common with her.(for example, they are both scientists) They have similar experience and background, and can understand each other well. They would have little problem to convey their ideas. But another suitor is so different from her, for example he may be a soldier. He is sexy, kind to women, and an emotional guy, and due to their huge difference, he is an interesting mystery to her. But after all, they are so different that it is hard for them to truely understand each other, they will definitely break apart one day. Thus for everyone finding a lover of a lot in common is better.

Actually thats not so true, or at least not all the time. Love is about taking a risk, and if you have someone who has a lot in common with you, there's no risk, no adventure to be taken. Yes you should have someone who has some things in common with you, as two people won't get a long if they're polar opposites. But in your example, a soldier and scientist can definitely fall in love and stay together forever. Just because its hard for them to understand each other doesn't mean they will break up one day. Love isn't easy, if it was strong bonds wouldn't be formed. The struggle to understand and then finally understand creates a much stronger bond then if you already understand them in the first place.
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,533
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5/6/2016 12:59:51 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 5/6/2016 12:58:25 PM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 5/6/2016 8:25:53 AM, BearHee wrote:
If one has two suitors. One suitor has a lot common with her.(for example, they are both scientists) They have similar experience and background, and can understand each other well. They would have little problem to convey their ideas. But another suitor is so different from her, for example he may be a soldier. He is sexy, kind to women, and an emotional guy, and due to their huge difference, he is an interesting mystery to her. But after all, they are so different that it is hard for them to truely understand each other, they will definitely break apart one day. Thus for everyone finding a lover of a lot in common is better.

Actually thats not so true, or at least not all the time. Love is about taking a risk, and if you have someone who has a lot in common with you, there's no risk, no adventure to be taken. Yes you should have someone who has some things in common with you, as two people won't get a long if they're polar opposites. But in your example, a soldier and scientist can definitely fall in love and stay together forever. Just because its hard for them to understand each other doesn't mean they will break up one day. Love isn't easy, if it was strong bonds wouldn't be formed. The struggle to understand and then finally understand creates a much stronger bond then if you already understand them in the first place.

+1
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cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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5/6/2016 1:01:54 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 5/6/2016 12:59:51 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 5/6/2016 12:58:25 PM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 5/6/2016 8:25:53 AM, BearHee wrote:
If one has two suitors. One suitor has a lot common with her.(for example, they are both scientists) They have similar experience and background, and can understand each other well. They would have little problem to convey their ideas. But another suitor is so different from her, for example he may be a soldier. He is sexy, kind to women, and an emotional guy, and due to their huge difference, he is an interesting mystery to her. But after all, they are so different that it is hard for them to truely understand each other, they will definitely break apart one day. Thus for everyone finding a lover of a lot in common is better.

Actually thats not so true, or at least not all the time. Love is about taking a risk, and if you have someone who has a lot in common with you, there's no risk, no adventure to be taken. Yes you should have someone who has some things in common with you, as two people won't get a long if they're polar opposites. But in your example, a soldier and scientist can definitely fall in love and stay together forever. Just because its hard for them to understand each other doesn't mean they will break up one day. Love isn't easy, if it was strong bonds wouldn't be formed. The struggle to understand and then finally understand creates a much stronger bond then if you already understand them in the first place.

+1

I was listening to one of my favorite bands when I looked at this so I felt really gushy, and had to pour out some of my heart.
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.
BearHee
Posts: 18
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5/18/2016 9:19:11 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/6/2016 12:58:25 PM, cybertron1998 wrote:
At 5/6/2016 8:25:53 AM, BearHee wrote:
If one has two suitors. One suitor has a lot common with her.(for example, they are both scientists) They have similar experience and background, and can understand each other well. They would have little problem to convey their ideas. But another suitor is so different from her, for example he may be a soldier. He is sexy, kind to women, and an emotional guy, and due to their huge difference, he is an interesting mystery to her. But after all, they are so different that it is hard for them to truely understand each other, they will definitely break apart one day. Thus for everyone finding a lover of a lot in common is better.

Actually thats not so true, or at least not all the time. Love is about taking a risk, and if you have someone who has a lot in common with you, there's no risk, no adventure to be taken. Yes you should have someone who has some things in common with you, as two people won't get a long if they're polar opposites. But in your example, a soldier and scientist can definitely fall in love and stay together forever. Just because its hard for them to understand each other doesn't mean they will break up one day. Love isn't easy, if it was strong bonds wouldn't be formed. The struggle to understand and then finally understand creates a much stronger bond then if you already understand them in the first place.

It is great to creat strong bond with one who is very different from you and continues to give you surprises and freshness. But what if this person has some core values different from you. For example, if the scientist want to persue her dream in a foreign country which values democracy and freedom of speech. However, the soldier, on contrast, is so determined to serve his homeland and don't want to quit his job for her?
BearHee
Posts: 18
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5/18/2016 9:19:38 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/6/2016 1:03:02 PM, Deb-8-A-Bull wrote:
Paula Abdul.
Taught me that opposites attract.

So short and powerful argument.