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On Love

Rosalie
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5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Like I stated before, some people have different expectations, etc. It's important to not set your expectations too high, because 90% of the time, they will let you down.

But back to the question, if someone really loves me, I would expect them to do whatever it takes, to make the relationship work. Like, if there is an obstacle in the relationship, don't just give up, truly work with the other person, and be patient. When you just give up, it really makes the other person feel like you never gave a sh!t about them, and that you were a waste of their time, and you truly mean nothing to them, if they don't want to work out a problem.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

Very popular question. In my experiences, and in my opinion, no. If I, and my past ex has shared some very special moments together, emotionally, physically, no...it just wont work. The affection will always be there, and you will always want to be more than friends..

please share your own thoughts.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

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Rosalie
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5/25/2016 8:57:32 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
I think I should expand more on the just "being friends". Like I said before, if I shared a special connection/ experience with someone, of course, you'll become attacked to that person, emotionally, and mentally. A breakup is already hard enough. So, what if your ex and you become friends, then he finds another girl, whom he is going to share all of those special moments with? In the longer run, it's only going to hurt you worse..
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
Valkrin
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5/25/2016 9:38:31 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

For me, I've only ever fallen in love twice, and one of those barely even counts because it was seventh grade and I couldn't properly wrap my head around the concept of true love, lol. I just liked hanging out with that person. The more recent instance of my love wasn't mutual. So I've never had a proper relationship.

Though in the more recent scenario, where I fell in love again, it's similar to yours in the regard of putting their needs above mine. However, I also noticed it when I was talking with that person about deeper and deeper subjects which I found really interesting. We could likely talk on for hours about any subject or subjects so long as we put in the time. In addition, I would find myself more joyful and positive in their company as opposed to just by myself, where I wouldn't feel the same. I think all of those combined indicated that I did in fact fall in love :P

The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

Unfortunately this is my scenario as well.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

While I won't expect them to be 100% to the same degree, more or less it should still fall under the principle that the other person's needs go above your own. I'd say as long as a couple is willing to do that, as well as work out their issues and respect each other, as well as showing their faithfulness, the other minuscule things don't matter as much, to me at least.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

In the relationship in seventh grade, once it was broken off she tried to get back together again. I said sure, why not, but it was never the same. So we parted ways once again, and I've barely spoken to her since. I think that if it's a relationship that's not too deep yet, it'll be fine, but if the relationship gets to an incredibly deep level, then is broken off, then I don't think it would be possible for the two to truly be "friends" again.
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." - Vaarka
Vox_Veritas
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5/25/2016 10:22:26 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

This is actually a tricky question. To some degree a person may feel emotions towards a person which are commonly associated with love even when they are not in love. Whenever you strongly admire someone, you might feel some emotions towards that person which are somewhat similar to love. For me, there is a distinction between the generally emotionless "wow, she's so hot and I am aroused", which I feel only for female persons, and the euphorically positive association and intense emotion that I may feel towards a person of either gender; the latter sensation can feel similar to a crush. Somewhere in between these two sensations is the "crush".

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Like I stated before, some people have different expectations, etc. It's important to not set your expectations too high, because 90% of the time, they will let you down.

But back to the question, if someone really loves me, I would expect them to do whatever it takes, to make the relationship work. Like, if there is an obstacle in the relationship, don't just give up, truly work with the other person, and be patient. When you just give up, it really makes the other person feel like you never gave a sh!t about them, and that you were a waste of their time, and you truly mean nothing to them, if they don't want to work out a problem.

Certainly I would.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

Very popular question. In my experiences, and in my opinion, no. If I, and my past ex has shared some very special moments together, emotionally, physically, no...it just wont work. The affection will always be there, and you will always want to be more than friends..

I think it's possible, though I wouldn't know.

please share your own thoughts.
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Emmarie
Posts: 1,907
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5/25/2016 11:26:47 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Like I stated before, some people have different expectations, etc. It's important to not set your expectations too high, because 90% of the time, they will let you down.

But back to the question, if someone really loves me, I would expect them to do whatever it takes, to make the relationship work. Like, if there is an obstacle in the relationship, don't just give up, truly work with the other person, and be patient. When you just give up, it really makes the other person feel like you never gave a sh!t about them, and that you were a waste of their time, and you truly mean nothing to them, if they don't want to work out a problem.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

Very popular question. In my experiences, and in my opinion, no. If I, and my past ex has shared some very special moments together, emotionally, physically, no...it just wont work. The affection will always be there, and you will always want to be more than friends..

please share your own thoughts.

I hope TUF is treating you well, because as much as you may think that I dislike you, I actually want to see you succeed and set a good example for our gender and sex, so sometimes I may seem harsh for calling you out.

You shouldn't put your "mate" before yourself. You should place yourself equally in importance. Nothing is set in stone (until you exchange vows) so if you find you are not as compatible as you imagined you would be, you can still change your mind.

Reciprocity is extremely important to the duration of a relationship, and true love can only be measured with time. I hope you will not "settle" for less than what you imagine love should be. When someone really loves you, they are faithful even when you are wrong, and kind and compassionate. They make you smile without even trying to, and never cause you to be stressed.

I'm glad you posted this topic, because I want to you know I have no animosity toward you, and hope you find love and happiness.
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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5/26/2016 1:16:16 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

About 3 weeks into the relationship, infatuation sets in. After that wears off if I still want to be with her, then it's love. If I don't even feel infatuation with that person within 3 weeks, there was never a chance to begin with.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Duh

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

In my own experience, yes -- but the transition is very rocky.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Hiu
Posts: 974
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5/26/2016 1:24:43 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Like I stated before, some people have different expectations, etc. It's important to not set your expectations too high, because 90% of the time, they will let you down.

But back to the question, if someone really loves me, I would expect them to do whatever it takes, to make the relationship work. Like, if there is an obstacle in the relationship, don't just give up, truly work with the other person, and be patient. When you just give up, it really makes the other person feel like you never gave a sh!t about them, and that you were a waste of their time, and you truly mean nothing to them, if they don't want to work out a problem.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

Very popular question. In my experiences, and in my opinion, no. If I, and my past ex has shared some very special moments together, emotionally, physically, no...it just wont work. The affection will always be there, and you will always want to be more than friends..

please share your own thoughts.

1) Not everyone can express why they know they're in love with someone (or love someone for that matter) so I can only express how I know. I know I love someone when my waking thought is of that person. romantic love to me is like a continuous song. I see my target of love in songs that I love to sing to. I see that person in every positive way possible and yet, I am unable to convey that incomprehensible love to that person.

2) Do I expect the person to feel the same way? Well yes, and no. Yes because if we both have similar feelings then I would assume in their own way they would romantically love me as well. No, because nobody expresses emotions the same way even if they're so-called soulmates. I believe that we express things differently although in some instances similarly, they're still different.

3) I will never be friends with women that have broken up with me. I do not want to know who they've hooked up with and I don't want them knowing my business. It (for me) open old scars.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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5/26/2016 2:54:09 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

That is the problem with love. It gets too romanticized and it does more harm then good, especially once you add into it the fact it can be like an addiction. Putting your own needs first needs to happen in any mature relationship. The two people should people two whole people not two halves. Having your self esteem or identity wrapped up in a relationship is not only bad for you, but bad for the relationship.

Where I am now in life, love is a choice. Though I do understand it is different for younger people who have a more special feeling due to chemical reactions in their brain that usually son't occur anymore in older people.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Nope we all have unique experiences.

Like I stated before, some people have different expectations, etc. It's important to not set your expectations too high, because 90% of the time, they will let you down.

But back to the question, if someone really loves me, I would expect them to do whatever it takes, to make the relationship work. Like, if there is an obstacle in the relationship, don't just give up, truly work with the other person, and be patient. When you just give up, it really makes the other person feel like you never gave a sh!t about them, and that you were a waste of their time, and you truly mean nothing to them, if they don't want to work out a problem.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

Sure they can, but they should give it some time. If you break up you should not go into being friends. You need to stay the hell aqay crom them as long as you have feelings, and until you complete the 5 stages of the grieving process.

Very popular question. In my experiences, and in my opinion, no. If I, and my past ex has shared some very special moments together, emotionally, physically, no...it just wont work. The affection will always be there, and you will always want to be more than friends..

please share your own thoughts.
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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5/26/2016 3:00:52 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
If she good with that mouth and she cooks well and won't do some bullsh1t divorce stuff where I lose half my money then she finna get that ring.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
Emmarie
Posts: 1,907
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5/26/2016 3:13:36 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/26/2016 3:00:52 AM, bballcrook21 wrote:
If she good with that mouth and she cooks well and won't do some bullsh1t divorce stuff where I lose half my money then she finna get that ring.

You sound like "she" is an object, with features that any number of females could possess, that are all beneficial to you. Do you even care what "she" dreams about , or contemplates? You may wanna consider other factors than how her mouth can please you, or her food preparation can fill you, if you plan on her being the mom of your offspring. You sound prone for divorce, becuzza your attitude.
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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5/26/2016 3:20:46 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/26/2016 3:13:36 AM, Emmarie wrote:
At 5/26/2016 3:00:52 AM, bballcrook21 wrote:
If she good with that mouth and she cooks well and won't do some bullsh1t divorce stuff where I lose half my money then she finna get that ring.

You sound like "she" is an object, with features that any number of females could possess, that are all beneficial to you. Do you even care what "she" dreams about , or contemplates? You may wanna consider other factors than how her mouth can please you, or her food preparation can fill you, if you plan on her being the mom of your offspring. You sound prone for divorce, barbecue your attitude.

How about you remove the stick out of your a$$ and understand that I was joking? Jeez, this is why divorce rates are so high.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
Emmarie
Posts: 1,907
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5/26/2016 3:24:43 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/26/2016 3:20:46 AM, bballcrook21 wrote:
At 5/26/2016 3:13:36 AM, Emmarie wrote:
At 5/26/2016 3:00:52 AM, bballcrook21 wrote:
If she good with that mouth and she cooks well and won't do some bullsh1t divorce stuff where I lose half my money then she finna get that ring.

You sound like "she" is an object, with features that any number of females could possess, that are all beneficial to you. Do you even care what "she" dreams about , or contemplates? You may wanna consider other factors than how her mouth can please you, or her food preparation can fill you, if you plan on her being the mom of your offspring. You sound prone for divorce, barbecue your attitude.

How about you remove the stick out of your a$$ and understand that I was joking? Jeez, this is why divorce rates are so high.

You may have been, but it's not funny since many guys base choosing their wives, on similar criteria.
Hiu
Posts: 974
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5/26/2016 4:33:46 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/26/2016 3:00:52 AM, bballcrook21 wrote:
If she good with that mouth and she cooks well and won't do some bullsh1t divorce stuff where I lose half my money then she finna get that ring.

LMAO
TheDom275
Posts: 36
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5/26/2016 5:54:47 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

Same here, really. I mean, there's plenty of people out there I'd place above myself in most situations but that's probably just me. As for the attachment thing, I doubt anyone can avoid getting attached to anyone or anything that they genuinely love, so I just let it happen. As for getting over that attachment when something happens, I've gotten pretty damn good.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

I really don't expect anything from anyone in regards to their relationship with or dealings with me. Someone far from me could really like me or someone close to me could really hate me and it wouldn't surprise me (though the far one would be weirder). I usually just go into things ready for anything.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

In my experience, no. In theory, probably. If they're both good people who were both friends before they got more intimate then they should definitely be able to go back to that, if a bit reluctantly.
philochristos
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5/30/2016 4:29:45 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/25/2016 8:54:34 PM, Rosalie wrote:
#1 How do -you- personally- know if you love someone, in a romantic way?

I know opinions may be different, due to experiences. Please express your own answers, and opinions.

Personally, for me, I do my best to show my affection for that person each and everyday. I try and put their happiness before my own, because their well-being is more important than mine. I know that may seem strange, but it's true. The problem with me, is that I get -too- attached to someone, and then they let me down, and then I am afraid to put in the trust, and affection into someone else, in fear the same thing will happen again.

I do think that reflecting on my own actions can serve as evidence that I love somebody. But I think I'm aware of my own love in a more direct way. I know I love somebody in the same way I know I'm seeing what appears to be a Christmas tree. It just appears to me that way. I know it directly because I have direct access to my own mental and emotional states.

#2 Do you expect your significant other to feel the as you do?

Like I stated before, some people have different expectations, etc. It's important to not set your expectations too high, because 90% of the time, they will let you down.

But back to the question, if someone really loves me, I would expect them to do whatever it takes, to make the relationship work. Like, if there is an obstacle in the relationship, don't just give up, truly work with the other person, and be patient. When you just give up, it really makes the other person feel like you never gave a sh!t about them, and that you were a waste of their time, and you truly mean nothing to them, if they don't want to work out a problem.

I'm not sure I understand how you explanation relates to the question, so maybe I'm misunderstanding your question. "Expect" can mean two different things. It can mean something like "require" or "hold somebody to it." Or it can mean "anticipate" or "believe that."

Reasonable or not, I feel quite put off in any relationship where I find myself more devoted to a person than they are to me. I'm put off If I care more about something than they do about me (unless it's my daughter). I don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who loves me less than I love them or who values me less than I value them. So, in that sense, I expect my significant other to feel more or less the way I do.

I also anticipate that they will. It just seems natural that if two people have a connection between them that they are each holding equal ends of the same rope that connects them. But that isn't always the case. Just recently, I got out of a relationship in which my girlfriend did not care for me the same way I cared for her. She as much as admitted it to me the other night, although she had denied it up until then. I don't know if she just now realized it or if she was being dishonest before.

#3 Can a past couple, ever just be "friends"?

Very popular question. In my experiences, and in my opinion, no. If I, and my past ex has shared some very special moments together, emotionally, physically, no...it just wont work. The affection will always be there, and you will always want to be more than friends..

please share your own thoughts.

I don't know if that's true or not. I think maybe as a generalization it's probably true, but I think there can be exceptions. If there's a relationship in which one person is in love and the other decides they're not in love, either because they never worse, or because they fell out of love, then all that's necessary is for them to spend enough time apart that the person who is still in love gets over the first person. Then they could meet later on in life and be friends. I think that's possible even if it's the exception.

But I think it's hard to get over a person if they are constantly in your life.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
SamStevens
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5/30/2016 4:32:07 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 5/26/2016 3:00:52 AM, bballcrook21 wrote:
If she good with that mouth and she cooks well and won't do some bullsh1t divorce stuff where I lose half my money then she finna get that ring.

lol
"This is the true horror of religion. It allows perfectly decent and sane people to believe by the billions, what only lunatics could believe on their own." Sam Harris
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?"
Death responded: "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am the painful truth."