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I am suicidal

BlazingRodent
Posts: 1,044
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6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.
SolonKR
Posts: 4,041
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6/7/2016 4:26:50 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
You're not worthless, and there's no fault in not being a world-famous musician or author, especially at your age. That deprecating nature isn't you talking. It's an illness that's ruthless, and you're in fact very strong for coping with it as long as you have.

We love you and don't want to see you pulled away from us by illness. We'll always be here to support you and we'll try to lighten the burden as much as possible, but a doctor is far better than any of us can ever be.
SO to Bailey, the love of my life <3
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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6/7/2016 4:40:50 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

When people try to take your self-esteem from you, do not give them the reason to believe they succeeded. One thing nobody can take from anyone else is the right to feel good. They're shitty people - let them be shitty, and leave them behind.

A common issue with attacking depression is peoples' (especially CBT psychologists) tendencies to attack the feeling rather than the problem. If you get help, you're likely to encounter a slack psychologist who tells you that you need to change the way you perceive things. That's a stupid way to go about helping depression. To get over everything, you have to attack the root of your problem - the people who make you feel like sh!t. Not trying to address the problem will allow it to linger.

The truth is, very few people are despicable. You are not worthless - but the shitty people are. Don't let them drag you down with their miserable ways. You're a unique person, and you have as much of a right to life as anyone else.

"True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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PetersSmith
Posts: 5,821
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6/7/2016 5:06:32 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

You're going to encounter shitty people throughout your entire life, but the beautiful thing is that you don't have to be like them. They may try to put you down, but when you actually think about it they only do that because maybe they secretly know that you are, or have the possibility to be better than them. The best thing you can do in any society is be a good person. You're not pathetic, nor are you worthless because I know that a person like you has a heart. You say you don't want to be around others when it happens, which clearly means that you care about others because you don't want to hurt anyone. But you'll be hurting so many people if you decide to end your life because you'll be taking yourself away from us, and that would be one less good person that this world desperately needs. You are beautiful just the way you are. Never emotionally forget even bad experiences because when you hit rock bottom the only way is up. Sometimes you can't do it alone and that's why you have others to support you, like the few caring people on this website.

Things may seem bleak now, but what I found that helps a lot is having a ton of patience and realize that you'll never be perfect. But that's an amazing thing because that makes you unique as an individual. Life has its ups and downs, and I'm sure you only see the downs, but it sometimes has a way of pushing us in just the right direction to get through. But you can't go that direction if you feel you mean nothing. You know what your purpose is? Your purpose is to surpass all of those shitty people and make yourself and others happy. You cannot fulfill this purpose if you aren't with us. Falling down teaches us how to get up and try again. Talk to someone if you need to be carried, but you also have to want it. Don't shut yourself off from the rest of the world because it needs you and doing so will only make you feel worse. If you feel you're on the brink, call them or use the online chat http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.... Never give up.
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YYW
Posts: 36,282
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6/7/2016 5:11:46 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

Please PM me.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
Posts: 36,282
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6/7/2016 5:17:14 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 5:15:10 AM, triangle.128k wrote:
Oh jeez, he de-activated his account. I hope he's okay.

Same. This is deeply concerning. I hope he gets through this.
Tsar of DDO
Opsianos
Posts: 1,155
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6/7/2016 5:48:49 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

Do not let people who are shitty convince you into thinking that you yourself are a shitty person. I see that you've deactivated, but I hope that you can read what we have said and will say here. If you are truly worthless, quite frankly, no one would care if you committed suicide or not, which is evidently not the case.

I don't know exactly what it is that you went through to bring yourself to this degree. I don't even know who you are. However, I know how it feels to be utterly weak. Pathetically insecure. Unstable. Insane. Hopeless. I know how it feels for life to really, really suck, and even more so for many others. I have never considered suicide as a viable option, but I can see how you can be driven to the point of just giving up instead of struggling fruitlessly, when there is nothing at all that is left for you. In other words, I can understand how you feel, even if it is merely partially.

Even so. You don't have to end it all now. I know this sounds cliche, and suicide is widely as a social taboo; a coward's way out, when it is, ultimately, the very last resort in life, where ending it is the best option remaining. But, it's still not too late for you to try again. It may be hard, and it probably will be, compared to suicide. Through living, though, you can still recover and heal with time. You can find purpose. You can escape pity. You can find worth in your life. If you commit suicide, your life will end under the belief that you never had or ever will have any of these.

...If you are still going to choose death. I hope that you will remember that, despite anything that you've done or has happened, there are people who still care about you, even if there are those who made you feel this way. Whether it be your family, friends, acquaintances--even strangers, such as on this site--we don't want you to be hurt. We definitely don't want you to die. I hope our voices will outshine those who are hurting you. If not, know that you will not be remembered as what you said that you are.
Have no regrets.
Beauty_Of_Insanity
Posts: 70
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6/7/2016 12:20:04 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

https://www.youtube.com...
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"Young people in their teens and twenties think that life sucks. Life hasn't even begun to -censored- you yet, suck it up bitches."
-sadolite-

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Syko
Posts: 393
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6/7/2016 1:55:33 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
Life is far easier as a sociopath I tell you. Imo watch suicide, accidental death and execution videos (there are literally thousands) until you become desensitised completely to human suffering and then see how fun life actually is in the knowledge that people are not different to animals and their opinions are meaningless.

Cuz I think it's the social aspect that's affecting you atm.
For Mother Russia.
lannan13
Posts: 23,050
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6/7/2016 2:57:32 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:

You're not worthless man. You have value, more than you realize. There are people here that actually care about you, we love you man. There's really nothing out there that people would get rid of you for. You are very important and special. You have good a valuable skills that show that you have a bright and telling future.

Don't listen to those people, get away from them. Those are the kind of people you should be hanging out with. You just need to go out and do things that make you happy. Play those video games, go outside and explore the wilderness, crack open a good book to read. There are many things you can do.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

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lannan13
Posts: 23,050
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6/7/2016 3:03:32 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 5:17:14 AM, YYW wrote:
At 6/7/2016 5:15:10 AM, triangle.128k wrote:
Oh jeez, he de-activated his account. I hope he's okay.

Same. This is deeply concerning. I hope he gets through this.

I'm trying to get a hold of him. I'm hoping I can get contact.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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tejretics
Posts: 6,086
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6/7/2016 3:13:27 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
You need to realize that this "worthlessness" is just perception instilled in you by those sh!tty people. Don't fall into that - because it's them that have a problem, not you. We, and I speak for myself and the rest of the DDO community, are always there for you. Don't go anywhere.
"Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe." - Frederick Douglass
tejretics
Posts: 6,086
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6/7/2016 3:14:19 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
You're valuable to people in this world. You've touched some people.

Most of this community serves as an example to that.
"Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe." - Frederick Douglass
Beauty_Of_Insanity
Posts: 70
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6/7/2016 5:12:26 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 3:13:27 PM, tejretics wrote:
You need to realize that this "worthlessness" is just perception instilled in you by those sh!tty people. Don't fall into that - because it's them that have a problem, not you. We, and I speak for myself and the rest of the DDO community, are always there for you. Don't go anywhere.

Knowing i'm worthless lets me believe i can do anything.

Logic:

1). I'm worthless, nobody cares about my problems.

2). Ok then, i must accept this.

3). If i can do things of worth then i'm not actually worthless.

4). What are my limits? I could start a cult then snowball across the country and take it over. Unprobable but not impossible. What if i found a way to manufacture giant bird wings and prevent tissue rejection? I could fly.

5). Limits don't exist. I can do anything.

6). If me taking over the USA and me being able to to become a dragon are possible can't i force my acceptance? Make people care? Put up with cruddy people?

7). Checkmate life.

Also see my sig, things can ALWAYS get worse.

You could be enslaved.

You could be tortured by satanists.

You could be tied down with a rat in a cage strapped to your chest while a bright light burns the rat forcing it to burrow through you to escape. Actual medieval torture technique.

But you aren't.

Be thankful you even do exist bro.

What if you were never born?

O)_(O

You can overcome the world.
Best Commentary/Replies:

"You forget: Im a twisted bastard."
-imabench-

"Young people in their teens and twenties think that life sucks. Life hasn't even begun to -censored- you yet, suck it up bitches."
-sadolite-

////////////

Interpersonal Intelligence Level: Mild Mental Retardation
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MLG Level: Dis game iz 2 eazy...
Beauty_Of_Insanity
Posts: 70
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6/7/2016 5:13:31 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

At 6/7/2016 3:13:27 PM, tejretics wrote:
You need to realize that this "worthlessness" is just perception instilled in you by those sh!tty people. Don't fall into that - because it's them that have a problem, not you. We, and I speak for myself and the rest of the DDO community, are always there for you. Don't go anywhere.

Knowing i'm worthless lets me believe i can do anything.

Logic:

1). I'm worthless, nobody cares about my problems.

2). Ok then, i must accept this.

3). If i can do things of worth then i'm not actually worthless.

4). What are my limits? I could start a cult then snowball across the country and take it over. Unprobable but not impossible. What if i found a way to manufacture giant bird wings and prevent tissue rejection? I could fly.

5). Limits don't exist. I can do anything.

6). If me taking over the USA and me being able to to become a dragon are possible can't i force my acceptance? Make people care? Put up with cruddy people?

7). Checkmate life.

Also see my sig, things can ALWAYS get worse.

You could be enslaved.

You could be tortured by satanists.

You could be tied down with a rat in a cage strapped to your chest while a bright light burns the rat forcing it to burrow through you to escape. Actual medieval torture technique.

But you aren't.

Be thankful you even do exist bro.

What if you were never born?

O)_(O

You can overcome the world.
Best Commentary/Replies:

"You forget: Im a twisted bastard."
-imabench-

"Young people in their teens and twenties think that life sucks. Life hasn't even begun to -censored- you yet, suck it up bitches."
-sadolite-

////////////

Interpersonal Intelligence Level: Mild Mental Retardation
Legit Friend Count: 0
Intelligence: Freakin' Brilliant
MLG Level: Dis game iz 2 eazy...
Rosalie
Posts: 4,605
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6/7/2016 5:53:47 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

You and I have talked about this extensively, and I feel bad that I couldn't help. All I can be to you, is a friend, a comforter, and remind you that everything will be okay.

For 1. You are NOT worthless, at all. You are a very caring, genuine person, especially for your age. I remember when you got defensive over the use Glitter, because I was bad mouthing her, and you convinced me to stop, and it was because you cared about her, and stood up for her, which is an admirable quality. We need more people like you.

What other people say about you, shouldn't define how you live your life, or what you think, and or feel about yourself. What people say to you, shouldn't matter. And I know that's a hard concept to grasp, and come to terms with, because as human beings, we want to be accepted by out friends, family, and society as a whole, but sadly, that's not how it works. But, I think it's best that way. Because we get to find out who we truly are, and we are able to learn about ourselves. If we want to be accepted by society, and try, we become someone that we aren't. And this will lead to a sad miserable life, I know.

Suicide doesn't kill people, sadness does. And to fix this, you need to work on what is driving you to want to kill yourself. The root of it is sadness, and this is due to people talking down on you, and -making- you feel worthless. And the way to solve this, you need to cut the toxic people out of your life, it may be hard, and difficult, but in the end, you will be thankful. As long as you have these toxic people in your life, they will continue to talk down on you, and kick you while you're on the ground. You need to rid of these people, and find friends who accept and love you, for who you are.

Don't you dare let someone, especially a friend, or family member make you feel less then what you are, because you're not. You're more than you think.

I am here for you, as well as the rest of DDO members. We will always be here for you, and we love, and care for you.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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6/7/2016 6:05:28 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

You should wait until you are atleast 30 to kill yourself. With the chemicals in your brain and the hormones you are experiencing. It is impossible to make a rational decision. I am sure you would want to make a rational decision instead of an emotional one.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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6/7/2016 6:08:51 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:54:17 PM, BlazingRodent wrote:
At 6/7/2016 3:04:35 PM, XLAV wrote:
Nigga, enjoy life. Wtf.

There is nothing to enjoy really.

You might have to stop giving a fvck to enjoy it. Like if you don't give a fvck what people think, it can be entertaining when you hack into their facebook account and start making Public threats on the president's life.

Just have fun with not giving a fvck about things and people. Trust me on this
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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6/7/2016 6:13:47 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
If I ever kill myself I am gling to start a debate that I am more suicidal than my opponent. After they accept, I will live stream it. Suicide also crosses my mind occasionally but I refuse to go without traumatizing a few people with morbid curiousity.

Don't kill youself or steal my ideal, but just putting that out there.
Vox_Veritas
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6/7/2016 9:03:34 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:54:17 PM, BlazingRodent wrote:
At 6/7/2016 3:04:35 PM, XLAV wrote:
Nigga, enjoy life. Wtf.

There is nothing to enjoy really.

Then make it enjoyable. Do whatever it takes to change your situation, just so long as you don't harm other people in the process.
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Hiu
Posts: 987
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6/7/2016 10:48:21 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

Blazing......

You're probably going through something beyond the scope of what you're saying, and with that being said, I would ask you to think about the effect of your suicide upon the loved ones around you. Now, if you do not care about those around you think about the impact of those who are effected by your thread. It would be a shame that your in pain and that you want to cease that pain the taking of your life. I encourage you to sustain your "life force" by seeking help. There is help out there and this entire planet will be less brighter if your light is snuffed out. I implore you to get it please!
Hiu
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6/7/2016 10:50:00 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 3:04:35 PM, XLAV wrote:
Nigga, enjoy life. Wtf.

Da Fuq kind of advice is this?
lannan13
Posts: 23,050
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6/7/2016 11:21:33 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
Come on man, we love you here. Please don't do this.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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XLAV
Posts: 13,713
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6/7/2016 11:30:39 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 10:50:00 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/7/2016 3:04:35 PM, XLAV wrote:
Nigga, enjoy life. Wtf.

Da Fuq kind of advice is this?

The best kind.

Notice how he replies to me but not to all your long posts.
Rukado
Posts: 527
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6/7/2016 11:34:04 PM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

First, stop being worthless. Consider, you can become good at almost anything with a year of intense effort, or several years of modest effort. Would you like to speak Chinese? Make beautiful wood furniture? Be able to rebuild a car engine? Pick something you like, and I don't mean video games, and get good at it. In a year from now, you can have a different life. In the mean time, you'll be keeping yourself busy rather than feeling sorry for yourself.

Second, stop trying to get sympathy form people. It's a cold world. If they're not your mother, they don't care about you. And, maybe not her either. They tell you that you're not worthless just so they can feel better about themselves. Make yourself into something people want. Make yourself attractive, in both appearance, personality, and character. Unless your face has been burned off or you have an IQ of a dog, you can do this. It'll take much time to retrain yourself, but it's doable.

Lastly, but not least,I wouldn't attempt continuing life without faith that God cares about me, and has plan. Make the choice.
Vaarka
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6/8/2016 1:21:05 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:06:18 AM, BlazingRodent wrote:
Recently my life has been utterly ruined because of the fact that I have to always deal with really shitty people, and they have convinced me that I am a pathetic and truly worthless being who has no purpose, impact on society, skill, etc.

It's gotten to the point where I want to actually fade away from life.

The reason I wasn't able to do it before because I don't want to be around others when it happens, and the first time I tried over a month ago I failed due to my method being too painful so I had to stop.

I might go on hangouts and say goodbye to others to prove that I will do it, and I don't know when, but I am looking for an opportunity to do so.

*hugs* please don't. We love you, Blazing
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

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Beauty_Of_Insanity
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6/8/2016 2:34:26 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/7/2016 4:54:17 PM, BlazingRodent wrote:
At 6/7/2016 3:04:35 PM, XLAV wrote:
Nigga, enjoy life. Wtf.

There is nothing to enjoy really.

Become a nerd.

INTERNET GAMING!!!!

ALL GAMING!!!!!

ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!

At least in having no life you can live.

Want to become friends with me?

See from our perspective?

Actually having a goal is great in life.

I will be the US president one day.

#2Termz
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"Young people in their teens and twenties think that life sucks. Life hasn't even begun to -censored- you yet, suck it up bitches."
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